Description: Hayato, the Burning Phys Ed Torch and Brian, the Silver Bullet Surfer face off in a battle of cosmic power in the skies above and the fields around Taiyo. Many a mighty blow is exchanged between the two super powered beings, but what will happen when the Great Galuckytus comes to claim the Earth for his own infernal uses which may or may not involve a wicked awesome game of space basketball. (Draw)
Hayato is a man well known for his Burning Spirit. He's not the sole example of the trait, but he is a very good specimen of it. He's just bursting with spirit. Perhaps too much! Hayato's Burning Spirit has become too much for his body to contain, turning him into the Human Torch! (There may have been an incident involving cosmic rays or something, too, but we're pretty sure it's the spirit.) It's proven to be helpful in his day-to-day life. When a burning guy hovering over the field tells you to run laps, you don't give him any lip.
At the moment, Hayato is just flying around, with no particular goal in mind. Why? Because flying is freaking awesome, that's why. And look at those cool trails of fire he leaves behind him. It's possible that casually using flame based superpowers like this is extraordinarily dangerous, but... meh. It's fun!
Brian is a man well known for having no such Burning Spirit, but instead having quite the taste for spirits that burn. Like whiskey and scotch. Also, flaming shots. Those are fun. Just drink them at the beginning of a night or you'll burn your face. And while Hayato may burst with his spirit, Brian's stomach is often bursting with alcohol. And steak. Usually just alcohol, though. Anyway. Those cosmic rays have gotten around, apparently, because there's really no reason for what's happened to Brian... After downing about a cruise ship's worth of Coors last night, it became apparently too much for HIS body to contain, and then something odd happened. His skin became metal, and he began surfing around the skies on waves of golden liquid. Yes, ladies and gentleman, the man with the cosmic specials became the Silver Bullet Surfer.
::rimshot::
And as Hayato is flying about, so is the giant tin can. Flying is totally wicked, yes, though it's certainly more interesting when you're weaving around the skies like a mosquito with a mental disorder. Side effect of being a flying beer can is that you're constantly inebriated! Not that this is much different than usual for Battler, but hey. Abruptly, though, he does come to a stop somewhere unimportant to him, where he proceeds to tap his keg, if you know what I mean. Ah, urination jokes. Is that the school track below him?
Aw, hell no. Hayato doesn't mind people flying around over the school, that's fine. And he doesn't really have a problem with public urination, either. He's been stuck outside after the bars close more than once, himself. But on his field? No sir, that will not stand.
Hayato comes flying in with the proper super hero pose, both arms held out in front of him, hands balled into fists. And he's got a big frown on his face as he rockets toward Brian. His first pass is just meant to be a warning, but the wake of the flames around him is pretty large. And any liquids coming out of Brian at this point are probably mostly alcohol by volume, and probably quite flammable, and thus easily ignited by a passing fireball. Flame on, indeed.
COMBATSYS: Hayato has started a fight here.
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Hayato 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Brian has joined the fight here.
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Brian 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Hayato
COMBATSYS: Brian dodges Hayato's Huge Thrown Object.
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Brian 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Hayato
Sadly, it's beer. And even then, it's Coors. Coors is five percent alcohol by volume, and has an IBU (international bitterness unit) rating of 9. This means it's like having sex in a canoe: it's fucking close to water. So the fireball is thus averted by the fact that the liquid he's passing probably has more in common with fire retardant than any other beer on the market. Sorry to say.
That said, Brian has enough wits about him to see that there's someone in the air with him. Cool! Maybe this dude wants to be his friend. The sloshy bits of being the Silver Bullet Surfer have made him warm and happy, an odd thing for a man usually beset by the need to rend people's arms from their sockets when schnockered. He wants company. But sober company is boring company. And this guy is too fired up (::rimshot::) to be his pal right now. He needs something to quench his thirst. What better than a can of brew?
"Hey!" he yells, voice reverberating with the Power Cosmic. "Drink with me!" And with that, a tall, frosty can of Rocky Mountain water, yeast and hops (and a few other ingredients) forms in his hand, and he throws it to Hayato. Or maybe at. His aim might be off. He is drunk, after all.
COMBATSYS: Hayato fails to counter Thrown Object from Brian with Counter Thrust.
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Brian 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Hayato
Hayato wasn't actually /trying/ to set Brian on fire there, so it's really just as well. After swooping past he stops and turns around, hovering in the air a short distance away. And it seems he did succeed in catching Brian's attention. He opens his mouth to start to say something, but then the can of beer appears and is tossed his way. "Well, hey, don't mind if I d-" and Hayato is a moment to slow in reaching out to grab the flying can, leading to it striking him full on in the face.
Apparently concentration is required to remain flying, because after getting beaned the burning gym teacher drops like a rock, and hits the field below hard enough to leave a small crater. And also he manages to cause the grass around the point of impact to start smoldering. "Oh, that does it!"
Brian blinks. That was totally unintentional. But it was, however, hilarious, and a sudden wave of laughter catches Brian "The Banquet Beer Branded Bastard" Battler (say it six times fast), one strong enough that the inebriated man cannot do much more than fall onto his surfboard... Okay, his four kegs flattened into a surfboard-like device... and giggle like a schoolgirl. It gives Hayato more than ample opportunity to get his retribution, but Brian? Brian doesn't care. He's just laughin'.
COMBATSYS: Brian takes no action.
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Brian 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Hayato
There's a sudden explosion from the hole Hayato ended up in, which both makes the hole a bit bigger and propels Hayato up toward Brian. At this point it becomes apparent that somehow Hayato is still wearing his track suit, even though he and everything he's wearing appear to be basically /made/ of fire. It's good that it appears to be defying the laws of physics, since melting plastic and metal and burning cloth aren't very good for the skin.
The flames flare up as Hayato goes for a good old flying combat classic: ramming into your opponent at full speed. Being on fire at the time doesn't hurt, either. Well, it doesn't hurt /Hayato/. Brian, on the other hand could be in some trouble.
COMBATSYS: Hayato successfully hits Brian with Fierce Strike.
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Brian 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Hayato
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAA... ::bam::
Brian was laughin'. He was a lollin' a lot. Then, here comes a humanized missile of a flaming gym instructor. And suddenly, Brian's not laughin' anymore. No. His surfboard disappears in an instant as Hayato's blow seems to vaporize it in a spray of suds on impact, launching the large man coated in Coors logos into the air. Okay, MORE into the air. Yeah, he's already in the air, thank you for being Mr. Literal. ::eyeroll:: Anyway, going back to this fight. Brian, now further airborne, tumbles for a moment before catching himself on, well, nothing, skidding to a three-point halt on a wave of lightly golden liquid. His kegboard rematerializes under his feet after he hangs in the air for a half second as he stands again, defying the laws of physics even more as he's at a 52-degree angle as he does so. "Hey!" he bitches, silver eyes turning solid blue to show how cold his emotions are becoming. "Ain't my damn fault you can't catch worth shit!" Now slightly miffed, Brian takes off after Hayato, attempting to maneuver into a head-on pass with the flaming man to allow him a chance at planting his metallic fist into fiery face. Because violence begets violence, especially in drunk people!
COMBATSYS: Hayato blocks Brian's Strong Punch.
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Brian 0/-------/----===|===----\-------\0 Hayato
Hayato manages to get his arm up in time, but a funny thing about fighting in the air... when you're just sort of hovering there, there isn't really anything to keep you from going flying back after an impact. Of course, after sailing a short distance away Hayato uncross his arms and goes zooming right back toward Brian. "You threw that at my face on purpose, and made me waste beer!" And that's as good a reason to fight as any!
$tOnce again Hayato attempts to ram into Brian, although this time he leads with his fist before letting the rest of his body crash into the metallic man. But this time he doesn't intend to just blow right past Brian, oh no. He's going to keep on pushing, and at a downward angle, until he slams his foe right into the ground.
COMBATSYS: Brian fails to interrupt Power Punch from Hayato with Samurai Bomb.
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Brian 0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0 Hayato
"Make YOU waste beer?" Brian scoffs, shaking some remaining flames off his hand. "Son, I am MADE of beer! I am the font of brewing! I am lager personified! Like I would want to waste beer!" His blue eyes become silver again, indicating that his temper is warming up. Proper temperature for those who like their beer served like they do in the UK, but not so much in the States. And since Coors is made in Colorado, this means this is hardly the best temperature for Brian to be in.
Lo, as Hayato comes screaming in at a high rate of speed, the Silver Bullet Surfer attempts to grab the man and remaneuver the intended blow into something he'd prefer... Some kind of sake drop or a nihon car bomb. Instead, though, he takes the entire fist full-bore, which punches through his chest and sprays cheap alcohol all over the place as he becomes fodder for the sod, blasted into the earth and creating another crater in the middle of Hayato's field.
Ow.
Hayato takes a moment now to wave his arm frantically. Extremely hot fire plus (mostly) water equals steam. Hot steam. Why does that bother him but being on fire doesn't? Stop asking questions! After a while Hayato's arm stops trailing steam and he settles down a bit. Man, now they're fighting on the ground? Oh well, he can deal with that too.
Hayato leaps toward Brian, flipping forward as he does so. And totally not using his ability to fly to cheat and get some extra hang time. Really. I'm serious. Anyway, as he flips around he extends one flaming leg, with the simple intention of dropping it right on top of Brian as he's getting back up. And, okay, maybe using some flying powers to increase the speed of impact.
COMBATSYS: Brian blocks Hayato's Strong Kick.
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Brian 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Hayato
Bad news: Hole in chest. Stuck in ground. Getting up takes lots of effort. Spraying beer all over the damn place.
Good news: Spray of beer is strong enough that, when positioned right, causes incoming bodies covered in flames to slow their descent into the realm of injury dealing face crunching to a near stop. Well, enough that the impact is pretty negligible overall. And, after that, the hole in chest begins to close up, like watching a pulltop can opened in reverse. Which is pretty keen.
But what now? After finally getting to his feet, the ground around him soaked in beer, Brian faces off against his foe with a scowl. Sliding forward on a reformed kegboard, he takes aim at the man's jaw with a swing that would certainly go wild, if not for the glowing phantom keg mallet that has appeared in his silvery fist. "You're making ME waste beer, you tool!"
COMBATSYS: Hayato dodges Brian's Brian Hammer.
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Brian 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Hayato
It's not entirely clear whether or not the giant keg mallet is actually /real/, but Hayato doesn't want to find out the hard way. And judging by the way it slams into the ground after he leaps out of the way, he made the right call. "This is all because you desecrated the field! All this wasted beer is on your hands!" It's hard to tell if Hayato's eyes are burning metaphorically, due to the fact that they are burning literally, but if you could actually see it his eyes would be blazing.
The flames rise higher around Hayato, his aura covering an even larger area as he summons up some righteous anger. And when even normal Hayato gets pumped up you can see some fiery chi, so when he's actually on fire you need to understand that we're talking about some serious burning here. Various secret organizations dedicated to the observation of super powered beings are probably seeing all sorts of little lights on giant wallscreen maps going 'blip'.
COMBATSYS: Hayato gathers his will.
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Brian 0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1 Hayato
COMBATSYS: Brian has left the fight here.
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Hayato 1/------=/=======|
COMBATSYS: Brian has joined the fight here.
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Brian 0/-------/-------|=======\=------\1 Hayato
"Oh, so you're blaming me for all this? What a load of absolute bullshit! Grow a pair and man up to your own actions, jackass." Desecrating a field? To a man such as Brian (who, mind you, holds nothing sacred), this line of reasoning is total bollocks. Even if he wasn't pissed (and by that I mean drunk), he'd be keeping that same line going.
Bollocks. Pissed. Perhaps the author has been watching too much Python.
And as Hayato fires himself up, Brian takes a deep breath and starts to chill out. Well, not mentally. Physically. The air around him grows cold, like a beer cooler. No blips on the superpowered observatories, but there's a genuine frost in the air now. Should be fun to see what happens when the two start fighting again. Which is about now, actually, as he surfs around in a wide arc after his failed hammer blow, then making yet another pass towards Hayato. Looks like he's trying something rather simple... as if he's attempting to snag his flaming foe by the throat. Likely to try and dig a huge path in the ground with the man's backside, as he's coming in kinda fast. Might throw off his aim.
COMBATSYS: Hayato fails to interrupt Strong Throw from Brian with Devastation Kick.
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Brian 0/-------/-======|=======\=------\1 Hayato
Hayato rears back, lifting up his right leg as Brian comes swooping in. Wait for it, wait for it... oops, waited too long. A cold hand grasps Hayato by the throat as he's yanked backward off his feet, then used to dig a long furrow through the ground. They briefly pass by Daigo, who appears to have had his skin transformed into lumps of orange rock for some reason. He rolls his eyes and continues walking as Brian and Hayato keep flying past, until finally Hayato is left slumped against the huge pile of dirt that his passage has dug up.
ow hot hot hot hot hot
Aluminum may not be a great heat conductor, but it still certainly heats up. Sticking his hand in the fire has warmed him up a bit, taking the frost completely off his arm to the bicep and burning the label off the back of his hand. The nerve! Brian should be more careful with his unintentional corporate sponsorship.
Having let go of Hayato to save his digits from boiling, Brian sails skyward, skimming along his invisible beer halfpipe and slowing down his momentum as he turns, putting his hand "down" and causing trails of lager foam to shoot back from it. As his fiery opponent appears in view again, he turns his board back directly towards the man again, rapidly increasing speed until, just at the last second, he makes a quick hop with the board... and tries to come to a complete stop on Hayato's face. He seems in a good position for it, after all.
COMBATSYS: Hayato dodges Brian's Strong Kick.
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Brian 0/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Hayato
While Brian is looping around, Hayato manages to pull himself back to his feet and get himself together. At least he doesn't have to worry about being covered in dirt, as any that actually stays on his skin for long ends up getting vaporized. He does, however, have to worry about taking a space surfboard in the face, so when Brian comes flying in, Hayato rockets himself up into the sky. He eventually stops, turning around to look down at Brian, and that's when a massive shadow falls over the area.
A massive figure appears in the sky, so cosmically large that only part of him can be seen. Galuckytus the Baller has followed his herald to Earth, seeking a planet to use as a ball in a game of galactic basketball. A staggeringly huge hand appears and begins to reach slowly down toward the planet... but Hayato is still ticked off at Brian, so he never actually looks up to see what's causing the shadow. Instead he just rushes down toward Brian, forming a shinai out of flame with which he slashes at his opponent.
COMBATSYS: Brian dodges Hayato's Crushing Strike.
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Brian 0/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Hayato
Coming to a stop on the sod (earth, not Hayato), Brian flails for a moment before gaining proper balance. Which is odd, because he's standing stark upright at a 64 degree angle. Oh, wait, this is MotM. When to physics ever matter here? Oh, I just had a jolly laugh at that.
As the shadow falls, Brian slowly turns properly upright, bobbing along the invisible waves of his beer surf. He looks up. He quirks an eyebrow. He sees the hand. Beyond it, he sees the face. "Well, fuck," he mutters, seemingly uninterested in the flaming death spear incoming. One of those waves gets a little strong, though, picking him up a bit and shoving him to the side, almost making him lose balance but jostling him free from harm. It is only as the superheated superhero streaks by that Brian takes notice of the man again, looking once again up at Galuckytus, then shrugging before taking off after the pyratic missile. It's a simple plan he's trying to enact... He figures Hayato is not planning to slam into the ground with this strike. The plan, thus, is to grab his flaming form and force him to punch yet another hole into his beloved field, this time head-first.
COMBATSYS: Brian successfully hits Hayato with DDT.
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Brian 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Hayato
Indeed, Hayato's intention was not to crash into the ground. Unfortunately it seems Brian has something to say about that. Hayato is grabbed, then propelled into the ground with such force that only the lower half of his body is left sticking out. He stays like this for several moments before the ground begins to rumble, and then in an explosion of dirt Hayato breaks free, and is somehow right side up by the time the dust clears. And now he can actually see the figure in the sky. "What the hell is that?!"
Still, there are more immediate concerns. And hey, maybe he can make use of the descending hand. Hayato lunges for Brian, attempting to grab the beer man and start spinning him around, turning into a flaming tornado as they both become a blur... before he launches Brian, sending him rocketing right up towards the descending continent-sized hand.
COMBATSYS: Brian dodges Hayato's Strong Throw.
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Brian 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Hayato
Ah, the joys of being large. Even as a human beer can, he can still pound people into the ground. In fact, that's probably one of the best ones he's ever done. Shame he doesn't have a camera, and that there are no cameras around. He'd love to get a Fathead wall decal of Hayato's legs sticking up from the ground and put it in his trophy room.
Hayato's concerns are well-founded, both immediate and semi-immediate. While he grabs Brian, spins him and tosses him handward, Brian's predilection towards stopping at odd angles mid-air comes into play again, and he no-sells the entire throw. "'Sup," he says, gaze likely matching Hayato's. "We got ourselves one giant balla' coming down on us and you still want a piece of me?" Shaking his head disappointedly, he finishes, "Alright, then. Let's do it." And with that, he zooms forward on his board, snapping his arm out as he passes by in a superpowered clothesline.
COMBATSYS: Brian successfully hits Hayato with Medium Punch.
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Brian 1/------=/=======|=======\==-----\1 Hayato
Hayato starts flying up to meet Brian, intending to duck under the outstretched arm at the last moment. That doesn't quite work out, though. Brian's arm catches him the neck, resulting in Hayato going spinning wildly through the air until he eventually manages to right himself, flying into an upright position. "Oh, don't worry. I've got a plan!" With that Hayato suddenly flares up before rocketing off with a sonic boom.
A moment passes, and then he comes rocketing back in at the same high speed, aiming to slam into Brian and then angle upwards, flames burning even more brightly than usual. And he keeps on going up, aiming to use his flame and Brian's mass to punch a hole right through the descending hand.
COMBATSYS: Brian fails to interrupt Burning Windmill from Hayato with American Supernova.
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Brian 1/-======/=======|=------\-------\0 Hayato
That was probably not the right thing to do, though his chances were about the same overall. The CSYS is a harsh mistress.
A plan, eh? Brian watches the flaming man zoom away before catching Brian under the ribcage (okay, where it WOULD be if he wasn't a walking keg). Jaw slack for a moment, he steadies himself as he summons the power cosmic. As the two make impact with Galuckytus' hand and begin to burrow through, the already enormous Brian Battler expands, growing as the American lager inside him churns into volatile foam. His metallic skin begins to stretch, which is the thing he wasn't expecting to have happen, allowing Hayato to punch through his now triple-sized form and out the other side... just moments before he explodes like a star. The massive hand recoils as the pinprick of a wound becomes like the one at the end of El Mariachi, a sea of gore falling upon Hayato's school.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew...
As the hand trails back, a small singularity holds position where Brian once was. For a few moments, there it hangs, before it starts to change shape. Bipedal. Roughly humanoid. Humanoid. Silver. Coors. Oh, hey, he's back.
It works out okay for Hayato, since the blood that splashes on him vaporizes before it can actually touch him. Not so great for everybody farther down, though. It does cause Galuckytus to recoil, though. So that's good. At least until several moments later when the sound of his roar of pain finally reaches the battlefield. It's loud enough to shake the entire planet, and good luck hearing anything else going on until it finally fades away.
But even though he can't hear, Hayato can still fight. At first it looks like Brian is finished... but then he reforms. Man, is Hayato going to have to start all over again? Oh well. Better get started, then. Once more Hayato launches himself toward Brian, this time leading with a flying uppercut.
COMBATSYS: Brian endures Hayato's Power Strike.
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Brian 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Hayato
That tingled. That was really odd, in fact. He's kinda out of it. You don't explode every day, after all. Well, most people don't. I'm sure there are people who do.
And so, as Hayato comes screaming in, the reforming Brian is in no position to do anything except take the punch full on. Alas, as he was still reforming, he was highly volatile. Unlike the last time, he's unstable. This is no supernova. This is more of a bomb.
The fist connects. Eyes bulge. Beer foams in an instant. Carbonation becomes violent. And in an instant, he detonates, showering the entire area with thin aluminum shrapnel and a hundred gallons of cheap beer.
A disembodied speech bubble suddenly appears where Brian was. (Goddammit.) it reads, before starting to slink off, filling with various punctuation symbols. (#@^!&$%...)
COMBATSYS: Brian can no longer fight.
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Hayato 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Brian knocks away Hayato with Huge Random Weapon!
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Hayato 0/-------/=======|
Ha, that'll show him- wait, what's happening? Hayato only has a moment to enjoy landing a solid blow before Brian begins to swell... and then the explosion. Aluminum shrapnel tears at Hayato's body, a couple pieces actually punching holes right through him. Not hitting anything serious, of course, we've got a Comics Code to deal with here. However, even aside from getting cut up, Hayato has another problem. After the massive amount of beer washes over him, the teacher discovers that his flames have been doused.
He hovers there in the air for a moment like a cartoon coyote, then drops like a stone. The camera pans up to watch him fall, dwindling as he draws further and further from view, before finally being engulfed in a small puff of dust as he hits the ground far below with a dull thud.
COMBATSYS: Hayato can no longer fight.
Log created on 21:22:08 04/29/2010 by Hayato, and last modified on 18:20:50 05/01/2010.