Description: In the first round of the OIC tournament a doorman tries to send a salesman on his way. It's a clash of wills and objectives. Will the doorman get fired? (Winner: Zhin)
In front of the Metroview Condominiums, a man wearing black pants neatly pressed, black jacket with gold buttons and gold trim on the sleeves, and a black doorman's hat, directs people to the desk to sign in before heading up on the elevators. When he's not doing that, he's either calling cabs or trying to keep people from stealing the cabs that he called.
Now that it is almost the end of his shift, things are beginning to die down but little does he know that things are going are about to get interesting for him.
Cheerful, jingling music rings through the air as a large white van swerves wildly through traffic on its way down the street. With a screech of tires the vehicles pulls over to the edge of the sidewalk, slamming into an idling cab hard enough to flip it up through the air to crash down in the middle of the road some distance back. This close, it can be seen that the side of the van has a large metal shutter that can be pulled up to reveal the inside of the vehicle. And printed on the side in garish colors is a sign reading "Crazy Zhin's Icecream and Nunchuck Truck".
The shutter slams open to reveal a small, beaming Chinese man. He's balding, with a Fu Manchu mustache and round glasses. He waves his hands energetically as he speaks. "Come on kids, get your icecream and nunchucks here! We've got popsicles and your standard nunchucks, we've got rocket pops and glow-chucks, icecream sandwiches and swordchucks, anything you could possibly want, all for low low prices!"
The cab flies into the air and the doorman finds himself whistling in awe of the amazing amounts of hang time the cab manages to get before it hits the ground with a sickening crunch. The parents after seeing the cab flying decide to bring their kids inside. They know what words the doorman tends to use when he has to fill out incident reports. Spoiler: They involve colorful words that will earn children beatings if they repeat them. The kids without their parents around however start swarming the truck.
The doorman leans inside of the door to call out to the concierge at the desk. "Hey! Get the incident report ready for me. My night just got ruined." After that he makes his way over to the ice cream truck with a color scheme that seems to be an affront to good taste.
"Hey chrome dome. You can't do that here. No soliciting allowed." With a crack of his neck. "You have two options. Leave on your own free will or I can make you leave. Your choice."
Zhin laughs pleasantly, waving a hand to dismiss the concerns. "Oh, come on now, there's no problem here! See how happy the children are?" He continues to beam, making a sweeping gesture to indicate all the kids lined up trying to get their hands on sugar and implements of pain. "It would be a crime not to let them take advantage of the wonderful array of quality merchandise at competitive prices that I have to offer them."
Zhin looks thoughtful for a moment, then winks and rummages around inside the van for a bit. "Here, I'll make you a deal. You just look the other way, and you can have this fudgesicle. Deal?" He holds out the frosty treat, smiling expectantly.
The doorman's lips curl into a smile as he looks around for a moment. The kids whipping around swordchucks and macechucks and woodchucks(Who didn't see that joke coming?) before he speaks to Zhin once more. "I don't make the rules. Management does." He points toward the interconnected building that management has their offices set up in.
The doorman waits for the salesman's gaze to follow along the path of his finger before he quickly spins his back to Zhin as he attempts to hook his hands around the back of his neck before suddenly dropping downwards to deliver what would be a stunner if it wasn't for the window of the truck. "I was hoping you'd pick the hard way. I have a lot of aggression to work out."
There's a scream. Looks like little Timmy's arm got chopped off by a swordchuck and the doorman's day just got worse.
COMBATSYS: Zhin has started a fight here.
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Zhin 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Aranha has joined the fight here.
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Aranha 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Zhin
COMBATSYS: Aranha successfully hits Zhin with Strong Throw.
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Aranha 0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0 Zhin
Zhin's face is smashed into the counter behind the truck's window, knocking his glasses askew. "Now friend, there's no need to be like that!" Zhin attempts to grab the doorman's arm and drag him a bit further in the fan, wrenching his back against the edge of the window. "But I'm glad you've noticed how sturdy this fine vehicle is! I sell them, you know. They're great if you're looking for a reliable, dependable vehicle that won't fail on you just because of a few bumps. Observe!"
With his free hand Zhin reaches up for the metal shutter, and then proceeds to attempt to close it on the doorman's face, repeatedly. "Stainless steel shutters, very nice! Keeps anybody from breaking in and making off with your merchandise. And built into the low, low price of the vehicle!"
COMBATSYS: Zhin successfully hits Aranha with Low Low Prices!.
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Aranha 0/-------/----===|====---\-------\0 Zhin
The poor doorman's arm doesn't quite get away from the merchant's grip and he ends up getting dragged backwards into the truck before getting his head smashed repeatedly by the shutters. "I swear to god if I have to pay for another MRI because of you, I'm gonna shove your damn spearchucks up your [censored]!!" His hat falls off into the vehicle and he finds himself swearing as he slides himself into the window to reclaim his hat and deliver savage beatings.
The doorman picks up his hat and then proceeds to kick towards Zhin's chest and attempt to send him flying out the door of his van. "Not interested!"
COMBATSYS: Zhin blocks Aranha's Strong Kick.
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Aranha 0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0 Zhin
"Okay, okay, I can see you're not interested in that. But perhaps-" Zhin is interrupted by the doorman's foot. He grabs the nearest thing he can use as a shield, which turns out to be an armful of wrapped popsicles. At least they do slow down the doorman's foot a bit. "Oof. Okay, okay, I can see you're a gentleman of refined tastes. A van like this, it's a little bit too blue collar for you, eh? Well, I've still got something you'll be interested in, I'm sure. Take a look at this, my newest invention..."
Zhin reaches into the freeze and pulls out... two popsicles that have their sticks chained together. "Popsicle-chucks!" He flails them about a few times. "Ah, cold!" He flinches, dropping the weapon. "Er, I mean... it's both a weapon /and/ a cold refreshing treat. Can I interest you in a few dozen crates? I can offer you a very nice payment plan, here, take a look, think it over." And as he says so, Zhin tries to hook the doorman's ankle, tripping him and then grabbing the back of his head to bring his face slamming down into the fallen weapon.
COMBATSYS: Aranha fails to interrupt Reasonable Credit Rates! from Zhin with Malicia.
? Strange Hit! ?
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Aranha 0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0 Zhin
The doorman doesn't quite get his feet spread out enough to resist the trip attempt. It was probably due to the lack of space within the truck as well as the fact that he just couldn't get the saleman to shut up. As a result he ends tripping and falling just quickly enough that very bad words don't quite leave his lips and hits the floor.
With a grumble he rises to his feet and looks at his shirt and tie with dismay. "Gah! The dry cleaner isn't even open tomorrow and even if it was I have to work that day as well!"
Instead of going for an attack the doorman finds himself surveying the damage done to his uniform.
Zhin beams again. "Dry cleaning? I happen to know a very good dry cleaner, always open! You could bring your clothes in tonight and have them ready for work in the morning. Of course, such a level of service requires reasonable compensation, but I think you will find that, given that, the prices are still quite competitive." The Chinese man peers at the doorman's shirt, nodding to himself. "Oh, yes, you'll definitely want to have it cleaned soon, don't want those icecream stains to set."
Then he beams again. "But don't worry, this place can get out all sorts of stains. Ice cream, pasta sauce, why, even if someone kicked you in the mouth and then you bled all over your shirt they'd still be able to get that out!" And then Zhin tries to kick the doorman in the mouth.
COMBATSYS: Zhin successfully hits Aranha with Heavy Kick.
Grazing Hit
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Aranha 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Zhin
The doorman sees what Zhin is trying to achieve by attempting to do by kicking him in the mouth. Forcing a need for supply by creating a demand. This will not work at all. At least this will not work for the doorman. The doorman leans to the side but not quite enough. Instead of spitting out bloody chiclets, he ends up getting nasty friction burn on his neck which will not look pretty in the morning.
It's at this point the doorman snaps. "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUP!!!" The pidgeons that were around? Gone. The kids that were surrounding the truck that didn't quite bleed to death due to blood loss? Gone.
The doorman flies at the salesman knee first and then attempts to grab him by the collar. If he should get the grab at the collar, he plans on slamming his head to the ground and then dragging him out of the truck.
COMBATSYS: Zhin dodges Aranha's Kick Combo.
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Aranha 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Zhin
Zhin rubs his chin thoughtfully while the doorman loses his temper. "You are a very discerning customer sir. But never fear, I can always find just what a customer needs!" The salesman blinks as the doorman comes at him with a flying knee, but he quickly shuffles to the side, leaning up against the wall of the truck and letting the knee smash into another wall. "Perhaps you'd be interested in some books on anger management? Not that I would ever suggest you have a problem, of course, but I find that many people could find use in lessons on how to relieve some of their stress nonagressively. It's good for you health!"
Before the doorman can turn himself around, Zhin attempts to grab the back of his head again, and start slamming his face into the metal wall. "Sometimes everyone just needs to stop and clear their head. And 'Channeling Happiness' can help you with that, for only $29.95! It's a steal!"
COMBATSYS: Aranha fails to interrupt Medium Throw from Zhin with Kick Combo.
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Aranha 0/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Zhin
The doorman had something in mind when he attempted to turn. Unfortunately for the doorman, while Zhin is a fast talker, he seems to move even faster than his mouth. The hapless doorman swings a hand out but it ends up being little more than an ineffectual flail that misses the target just before his head gets slammed into the metal wall.
The doorman slides comically down the wall. He's so visibly shaken that he ends up taking a few moments to get back up to his feet before he wobbles towards the door of the ice cream/nunchuck truck. "Look at all the pretty birdies."
Zhin beams again. "See? You're looking calmer already! ...But of course, for the full effect, you really will need to buy the book. And personally, I'd suggest getting a spare copy too, just in case. And maybe some for your friends! Why don't we go and step outside, and talk about how many copies I can put you down for?"
And with that, Zhin gets as much of a run up as possible inside the truck, then leaps toward the doorman, lifting up both legs to kick out in a flying dropkick aimed to send the vict- customer flying out through the doors at the back of the truck.
COMBATSYS: Aranha blocks Zhin's Clearance Sale!.
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Aranha 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1 Zhin
The doorman just barely manages to get it together in time to bring up an arm to guard against the drop kick as he continues to stumble out of the ice cream truck. It isn't quite enough, however to form coherent sentences. Of course when he has full awareness, he'll probably will be pretty peeved about the dirty foot print on his jacket.
As it is, the doorman has just enough awareness to know that the person he's dealing with is not just nuts but nucking futs and that he needs a moment to clear his head and so he snaps out a quick, somewhat desperate kick before falling over and onto his butt. Oh well it's not like his uniform wasn't ruined already.
COMBATSYS: Zhin blocks Aranha's Snap Kick.
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Aranha 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\1 Zhin
Zhin starts to follow the doorman out of the truck, but stops when he sees a foot lashing out towards him. He quickly backpedals, throwing up an arm to defend himself as he takes a step back into the truck. "Are you sure you don't want me to give you the number for that dry cleaner? They really do wonderful work, and it looks like you're going to have some use for them. Or perhaps..." His grin widens. "...You'd be interested in a whole new suit? I can give you an /incredible/ deal on some second-hand suits. Barely worn!"
With a quick leap Zhin exits the truck, tucking into an impressive aerial spin which takes him up and over the doorman... then unfolding to drop like a stone, feet-first toward his prone opponent/customer. "I can give you a /great/ deal on an outfit that could look just like the one you've got, with a little simple tailoring. Only worn once, and the bullet hole is barely noticeable!"
COMBATSYS: Zhin successfully hits Aranha with The Lowest Prices in Town!.
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Aranha 1/----===/=======|=======\==-----\1 Zhin
"NO!!!!"
It's hard to say if the 'no' is at the offer for dry cleaning, the offer for second hand suits or at the fact that he has a Chinese man about to land on him. Most would probably say, 'All of the above.'
The moment the feet land on him, a high pitched, almost feminine, squeak leaves his lips. After that there is some time spent gasping for air before a white glowing fist reaches up and swings for the family jewels. He normally wouldn't do something like this but he seriously needs Zhin to get off his chest not just now but right now.
COMBATSYS: Zhin endures Aranha's Royal Flush.
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Aranha 0/-------/-------|=======\=======\1 Zhin
And once that initial glowing punch to the groin lands, the doorman scrambles desperately to his feet and begins kicking Zhin. Over and over and over again. Spinning kick follows spinning kick until the doorman finds himself gasping for air. Yes... Neglecting his cardio was a very very bad idea.
After Zhin bounces off of the doorman he smiles down at the prone man for a few moments, and then a glowing fist lands an explosive punch right between his legs. Followed by numerous kicks. Everything is silent for a long moment. And then Zhin gives the doorman a glassy-eyed smile. He opens his mouth for a moment, but nothing comes out except for a hoarse whisper of air. And he stands there for several moments, that same glassy expression on his face.
And then Zhin whips out, from somewhere, a pair of swordchucks. And, oh god, he appears to be able to actually use them. The blades becomes a blur as he swings them around, razor-sharp blades flying all around him with no apparent concern on Zhin's part. "Perhaps I can interest you in one of our /specials/, sir."
COMBATSYS: Aranha endures Zhin's All Sales Final!.
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Aranha 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Zhin
The doorman with absolutely no regard for his own safety doesn't budge as he gets slashed by swordchucks. One has to wonder what is going on in the doorman's head. The blades slash his uniform to ribbons leaving him wearing nothing but blood and roc-a-wear boxers.
Oddly enough the doorman's reply isn't one of complete outrage but one of complete awe. "May I try that?"
He doesn't wait for permission. Instead he just snatches the swordchucks from Zhin's hand and begins to swing the weapon wildly and in his hands, they look like an absurdly stupid weapon and completely unsafe for both him and anyone within a 10 ft radius. After a few moments of more wild and ineffectual weaponized flailing he decides he's ready to make his decision.
COMBATSYS: Aranha can no longer fight.
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Zhin 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Aranha successfully hits Zhin with Large Random Weapon.
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Zhin 0/-------/-======|
"I'll take 'em!" And then the doorman passes out from blood loss.
Zhin gets slashed several times, and he almost looks perturbed. His smile actual falters for a moment. But then he hears that magic words, and his smile is back and as big as ever. "Wonderful, wonderful!" He gets out a pad of paper and begins humming to himself as he rights things down. "If you'll just sign here..." He places a pen in the doorman's limp hand, picks it up by the wrist and signs the receipt. "There we go. Enjoy, and have a nice day!"
Humming to himself Zhin gets back in his icecream/nunchuck truck and peels out before speeding off into the distance, his jingle trailing behind him.
COMBATSYS: Zhin has ended the fight here.
Log created on 21:02:50 04/19/2010 by Aranha, and last modified on 22:00:10 04/22/2010.