Description: 'nuff said. (Winner: Nagare)
"LISTENNNNNNNNNNNNN!" screams the absolutely unpleasant voice of the DJ playing records at the hastily scheduled concert at the Duck Pond's dance floor. He's been playing Lil Wayne and Rick Ross records for the past three hours and occasionally screaming nonsense of over them. "WE THE BEST! WHO? /WE/! AND RIGHT NOW WE GLOBAL! WE BIGGER THAN GLOBAL! WE /SNF/! I DO THIS FOR THE GHETTO, Y'ALL, FROM THE GHETTO TO /SNF/! LISTENNN!" The people kind of cheer, but not really.
"WE GOT SOME GUEST RAPPERS IN THE HOUSE! WE GOT SOME /GUEST RAPPERS/! AND THEY'RE GONNA /RAP/ BECAUSE /WE THE BEST/!" He throws his hands up, and no one responds, which causes a single tear to roll down his cheek as he continues anyway. "TODOH! NAGARE! MAI! GET OUT HERE AND SHOW YOUR ABILITIES! YOUR RHYMING ABILITIES! YOUR FIGHTING ABILITIES! AND YOUR ABILITY TO DO IT FOR THE HOOD! AND YOUR ABILITY TO DO IT FOR THE GHETTO! WE THE BEST!" He finally shuts up, and the new record drops -- an instrumental, this time, to the tune of Dr. Dre's classic "Deep Cover."
And just then, out bounces Mai, who's wearing a black version of her typical red ninja-whore-- uh, kunoichi gear, and a L.A. Dodgers baseball cap. She flips over the DJ booth and into a cleared spot on the dance floor, producing a microphone from whatever horrible place that she probably also stores her fans:
"Tonight's the night I get up to this, yeah,
SNF on the kunoichi tip,
Droppin' suckas with ninja skills
Relaxin' after with maxed stacks of bills, uh,
MC Mai straight up and you're gonna go down,
Reppin' ninja dojos when I stroll through Southtown
So let's see what the game is servin', yo
So the crowd can get down as they get their teeth broke, what."
She strikes a ready pose as she waits for RAP BATTLE WAR to begin.
COMBATSYS: Mai has started a fight here.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|
Remember that 'Pimp My Fighter' thing from recent times? You know how fast some of those trinkets were discarded? How about how quick it took one Ryuhaku Todoh to notice that he could swipe some of that garbage, make a pretty buck, and be done with it?
Turns out enough of it was fake that it was worth absolutely nothing! Nothing but garbage he was going to pelt the Kyokugen dojo with from some sort of homemade catapult, but no! The cards came in for his latest beggi-- I mean invitation to the latest Saturday Night Fight match! These clunkers might have some use after all in his ongoing quest to make his style appear more... hip, more... accessible, to kids who don't know better.
Dressed in horribly mis-matching cheap lamé clothes of numerous clashing colors and sequins over the usual outfit that he almost defintiely has not changed out of in years and wearing some horrible pink plastic sunglasses along with droopy earrings, he slides out on stage in front of Mai, a fan outstretched and open as he yanks a microphone out of seemingly nowhere and recites the following in stilted, slow rhythm that totally does not match the music being played.
"The Master Todoh!
Master of the martial arts
You know already!"
A record nearly scratches to a halt. Faces are made among the crowd. A vein bulges within his forehead, under the headband. And a purple pimp hat. So purple. More purple than pimp. Possibly even more pimp than hat. His fist shakes with impotent rage!
"What, you don't... like... the classicals? You damned dirty dim-witted rascals! YOu wil llike my haiku! Or I'll mop the floor with you!! That's right! That's riiiight! You'll cry at night!"
Some of the boo-ers and borderline boo-ers start to clap their hands a bit. Does he even realize that rhymed?
COMBATSYS: Todoh has joined the fight here.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Mai
Nagare is fresh from Pimp My Fighter not too long ago. He had his entire bling bling thing going on like a wing ding, and man, this thing is whacked! He signs up, and then instantly, he's drafted not just into being a Bling Thing, but now he's drafted as a rapper.
Luckily, as Nagare comes out, he's already wearing his underwear on the outside, jeans underneath the speedo coming all the way towards the flow, flippers streaming out of them, an his headband replaced by a doo rag.
This shit just got real.
After having to face Mai's AWESOME NINJA RAP, and Todoh's three seconds of super embarresing tales. Nagare has his turn in the beat box rag rap battle. His chest glinting from being horribly greased and wildly reflecting lights so much that it could blind anyone that looks close, Nagare is very close for a white, japanese rapper. Actually, he totally is one.
And then he grabs a mic out of nowhere and does a peace sign.
"Unda da sea. Unda Da Sea!
Can't you see it's Na-Ga-Wryy
Coin' round with wet and wild words,
Ripping a tide right through the heards
Don't be hatin cause you can swim like me,
I've had to train more than a year or three,
But when you come round I'll teach you my style,
You might even just have to go swim a mile!"
Nagare puts his hands and mic up, and his head down, posing weirdly with flippers out.
Pretty fly for a white guy.
COMBATSYS: Nagare has joined the fight here.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|
The beat abruptly changes after the introductions, seguing badly into "Criminology" by Raekwon. Luckily, that one is mostly pounding drums, as the DJ seems to pity the fighters a bit.
Mai has stood with her arms folded for the other two, putting on an overblown look of 'I'm too cool for this' to display exactly how too cool for this she is. When they're done, she steps forward again, and she's lucky she actually has some rhythm, because otherwise the way she's bobbing in her stance to this beat would look pretty ridiculous.
"Go ninja go ninja go!
I'm the kunoichi with the airtight flow!
And it's a heavy day so don't feel bad
That my rhymes are soaking my steno pad
I'll wring it out on you chumps and show you how wild
I get down -- Shiranui style!"
Mai closes her disgusting verse by leaping into the air and attempting to kick Todoh in the face.
COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Todoh with Light Kick.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/------=|
The crowd goes from 'mild distaste' to 'enthusiastic clapping along' by the time Nagare steps in and introduces himself. The elder Todoh snorts, folding the fan in his hand and letting it slip into places unknown, perhaps a plot hole or two. Make that a snort and a harrumph, while we're at it, kids these days, they want some real rhymes they should look up some of the literature of this here glorious country of Japan! Not this garbage!
He's painted as the whitest yellow man in the whole set straight from the get go, a bright stripe in which to expect tripe right when the fight gets ripe, but let's face it, he's not the type, but he'll make his own hype, set that through the news pipe, with that blood and tears they'll wipe, he'd always gripe.
Mai steps forth past him, drops some more phat beats in which he thinks over the next verse to make things even worse, shifty glances left and right as he considers the best use of his might. The heat of the lights on that costume so bright, man, the sweat is his plight. But then Mai takes flight and kicks him in the whites, and the crowd goes wilder that night.
Proving the nameless bling throughout is heavier than they appear, the elder Todoh twists himself down not far but near, shouting obscenities loud enough to reach both ears, stellar opening performances receiving cheers! Except for him, nothing but jeers, but he shall have his revenge, right here!
Until he gets of the floor, Nagare gets to lay down some more.
COMBATSYS: Todoh takes no action.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/------=|
Ohhh! Mai continues to roll out the phat beats, so hard that it's almost like Nagare gets a flipper across the face! She's a ninja and she really is going! It's pretty hot, and Mai thinks she is as well! It's something that you just have to see and look in with a nod and a laugh! Or some serious beats in return.
Nagare chooses the beats, even as she kicks Todoh in the face.
Nagare steps forward, his flipper tapping with excitement as his hand whips out to a point, aiming at Mai, and he's coming quick, like he was slick.
"Hey, Mai. Mai de shuranui,
What you punkin that boi,
Your beefs with me out of this three
and I'll make sure to kick your knee!"
Nagare cries, zipping forward on water chi out of nowhere, slidding onto his back where he instantly begins to kick Mai's knees with flippers and water chi added in. It looks stupid, BUT IT'S SO RIGHT.
COMBATSYS: Nagare successfully hits Mai with Splash Kick.
- Power hit! -
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Mai 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/------=|
The water chi kills Mai dead, washing her into the crowd as she's popped into the air by having her knees attacked so savagely. "AUGH!" she glubs until she skids to a stop, soaking wet now. "Not fair! I didn't know we could use cool chi stuff!" A bouncer for the club promptly socks her in the stomach for failing to rap her complaint, and she falls to her knees, clutching her stomach.
Then, the beat changes again, to "Feel So Good" by Ma$e, and the 90s shiny-suit rap seems to rejuvenate the ninja's spirit. She leaps to her feet and strikes a dynamic pose:
"It'll take more than that to put me down,
Might be news to you but Mai runs this town,
Because I'm more gifted than a baby shower,
And I'm cashin' big bank like my man Geese Howard,
So like Geese H I'm a drop a little rock,
Like anthracite in your Christmas sock,
Ready, Nagare, 'cause from the word 'go'
You're gonna get cut down by my sick fan throw!"
And Mai does just that, producing one of her famous steel fans mid-verse and, with a spinning flourish, hucking the weapon / item of leisure at Nagare's skull.
"Boy?!" Comes an angry exclamation to the challenging declaration to Mai, oh my, and ol' Ryuhaku OG Todoh got to step up and say 'hell no!' The weight of the bling is tempting to fling, but the weight, that's coming to the front gate!
Nagare unleashes the dog eat dog doggy paddle, that's enough to rattle even the toughest in the battle (which remains the Todoh patriarch, at least to himself, he'll take them like brittle matriarchs) while Todoh rises to the prattle.
He promptly slides in front of the action, like a chain reaction, tabi socks not great for traction but he'll bring y'all to his faction! With mike in hand, though with smoothness of sand, enthusiasm all but canned, he speaks up to rock the land.
"Look at those losers!
Think they're movers!
Dweebenheimers!
Wimpy one-timers!
I'll make your day!
If you give me your say!"
He thrusts his hands up in spite of the lights, but we've been down this rhyme path, right? But there's no saying to cite, so old man Todoh's left waiting alright. Hands up, tension tight. He'll give them a sight. So long they give him that hook to bite, he'll show them a real fight! Until then, he flies an invisible kite.
COMBATSYS: Todoh focuses on his next action.
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Mai 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Nagare blocks Mai's Kachou Sen.
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Mai 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/------=|
Nagare slams Mai into the crowd, spinning a bit before rising into the air and towards his feet. There, he stands, striking a oh so familiar pose. He's almost grabbing himself, if that's even possible. But Mai gets right back up, even as the man socks her in the stomach! Oof! And her raps, they hurt so much! Because she's actually pretty good.
But the sick fan throw ain't enough, Nagare wimming backwards as Mai raps so hard, bringing up his hands to stop the fan, even as it cuts into his arms. It's a devastating strike, but dealt with ease and RAPPING. Nagare explodes outwards, cracking his neck for a moment or two. He would pop a collar if he ever wore a shirt.
"Yeah, you think you're so hot Mai,
But I'm so here to tel you're not Mai,
But that's why we're here ain't it,
To bring the bring the beats and paint it,
All over this place yo,
So I'm going to bring it...
To Todoh!" Nagare announces, springing forward once more, the Swimmer, spinning around as he dances over towards Todoh, even as he speaks into the mic, Nagare goes ahead and aims a terrible flipper backhand into Todoh even as he flies that crazy kite, aiming to give him more flipper for his lipper.
As Nagare targets Todoh, Mai is back in the main dance floor, juking and dancing her way toward the action -- and, of course, spitting hot fire, as the beat changes to "We Takin Over" by DJ Khaled.
"Tell me who the five greatest ninjas alive
That's Mai, Mai, Mai Mai Mai
Me, me, it's all about me,
And I'll open your eyes if you can't see
Because any man that doesn't stare might as well be blind
Because I dress to impress while I fight like a lion
And Nagare took shot one, I'ma take shot two
And really show Todoh what it is I can do!"
It's 'gang up on Todoh' round, as Mai again leaps, intending to land just after Nagare's flipper smack -- whether it connects or not -- and grab Todoh into a judo throw taught to her by Jubei Yamada, Master of Throwing People.
COMBATSYS: Nagare successfully hits Todoh with Strong Punch.
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Mai 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Todoh dodges Mai's Medium Throw.
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Mai 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|
Nagare is the man of the water, Mai wants to make it hotter, but will Todoh stay dry, or will he man fry? His career isn't out to die! The rap victory they all vie, as Nagare lets fly with the first strike before Mai.
The flipper goes for the lipper, but here's a nice tipper, the hit makes the old man a skipper, to my Lou my darling but hipper, the tabi socks nearly makes him a slipper but in thin air Mai's arms are like a whipper, because Nagare's fists are a shipper, pushing him far enough to miss the clipper.
A solid bruise on the elder Todoh's cheek, he's not one to stand so meek even if he finds the crowd's attention weak! Standing tall without a pained squeak, his eyes narrow to those he'll tweak, who think he's well past peak.
"You little punks! Think you're so... crunk!" A legitimate struggle for a rhyme, voice faltering from sublime.
"You fools are sunk!
You'll know when you hear the thunk!"
The arms that stay raised despite the lack of praise, they fly down like a vulgar phrase, yellow and orange like all other days, one by one by one they phase, to rock Nagare's favorite bays, or maybe to Mai's many nays, the thin air it'll raze, the segmented chi rays, like all Marches and Mays.
Too short to sort two, just Mai will have to do.
The ganging up on Todoh round is OVER. The ganging up on MAI round BEGINS.
Nagare beatboxes a little while Todoh moves, only seeing Mai come after her, but his flipper striking him up above. Nagare is a white boi, there is no dissing that. He's straight up white with the best of them, and that's alllll right.
But even as Todoh hurls himself towards the figure of Mai with the chi rays that it sends, Nagare almost needs to put on his sunglasses! That's hot hot hot. But he's gotta to get a rap rap rappin.
"Mai might have shot two,
But don't be no foo
Shot two is joke,
And that's why I spoke,
Mai is hot, but that's a ok,
She will not get her way.
Cause watch out Mai, here I come,
In the one strike others call dumb!"
Nagare announces, leaping into the air majestically, flying high high high into the air as he swims, waterchi following behind him as he rises, before stopping and coming down towards Mai, aiming to head butt her terribly as he comes in the most weird strike to date!
COMBATSYS: Mai blocks Todoh's Kasane Ate.
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Mai 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Mai fails to interrupt Concrete Dive from Nagare with Ryuu Enbu.
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Mai 1/----===/=======|=====--\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/---====|
A pair of steel fans are drawn, and Mai adopts a bracing stance as they beat back as much chi as they can -- it's still enough to stagger her, though, and she stumbles backward, trying to regain her footing. This is just as Nagare raps about attacking her and then attacks her. "Aah--!" she says, startled even though he /told her he was going to attack her in his rap/, and whirls around in a flashy spin to try and knock Nagare away with a blast of fire chi.
The fire chi is nullified by the water and Nagare goes head-first into Mai's breasts.
Mai is knocked away, tumbling and rolling.
"That one hurt, I can't deny,
Even if you dress like a dude from Queer Eye,
When you knocked me down I think I sprained my groin
To continue, please insert coin..."
Mai slowly, slowly staggers to her feet.
Todoh lets the flow go, like the action is in slow mo, like watching it with Joe, the ducks line up in a row as Nagare treats Mai like... no, let's not finish this one.
Ahem.
The hat slips down Todoh's head, enough to make him start seeing red. Mai takes a break instead, down like bricks of lead, a moment for Todoh in which to go ahead, before the audience goes to bed, not content to be as white as Flanders Ned! He points to whom his fists will wed.
"You call that fresh?!%Well I call it... ah... er..."
The audience boos there! A counter less than fair! Growling, Todoh knows where, given what goes from there, a tomato through the air. For now less verse to share, no rhymes to care, going for Nagare's back bare, as Ryuhaku ducks their stares. Nagare beware, that fan's throwing arm's a nightmare.
COMBATSYS: Nagare dodges Todoh's Thrown Object.
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Mai 1/----===/=======|=====--\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Nagare is a playa. A hot stud in pants. And he can feel it as he goes face planting into Mai's breasts even as he darts right through the fire chi, flopping backwards seconds later. But by what?! The giant bazooms or that he always does such a thing?! It is yet to be seen! But entirely unexpected. Especially as Mai gets up and starts to rap. What, she's rappin' all over the map!
Getting up, Nagare chooses not to insert a coin, instead, turning towards Todoh a go go.
And not too long after either! There's something coming at him, a tomato of all things, coming right for him! And Nagare swims low, moving towards Todoh without a care, making his way towards the older man in a way that is unheard of, swimming on the air right there towards Todoh's legs. WHILE RAPPING.
"No tomatoes touch this Nagare,
Cause all the boys and chicks say hey,
Look there's the man of the water nighttt,
He's here to put it right,
Now lets here it for the backwards drop,
Cause this thing here will make ya flop!"
Nagare tones, spinning through Todoh's legs and lifting up Todoh upon his back, trying to swim about and then backdrop Todoh directly into the ground, and press on him with his back!
As Nagare goes after Todoh, Mai gains her second wind, leaping back into the fray. As he tries to backdrop Todoh, well, that leaves those smooth swimmer's abs in a prime position to eat an attack, don't they?
"Phelps be not proud of your rhyming skills,
I'll send you swimmin' all the way out to the hills,
Over the ocean and back again
Mai's comin' at you, better call a friend!"
With all of her might, Mai attempts to kick Nagare in the stomach so hard he has a miscarriage.
COMBATSYS: Todoh dodges Nagare's Strong Throw.
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Mai 1/----===/=======|====---\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Oh no, they want produce, they're gonna get some juice. The elder Todoh thinks he's hung like a moose, standing upon the mightiest pedestal reserved for Zeus, his apparent disadvantage nothing more than a ruse!
Fanning a fan, his only fan, the swimmer doing what he can, Todoh could've ran, leap out of the frying pan, but no, he'll put a ban! (ugh)
"You have no battle ability!
Just between you and me,
Lessons don't come freeeeee!"
The extended 'e,' is because Todoh isn't free, Nagare lifts Todoh up for you and me, to make him fall, see, but it wouldn't be, a timely leap off Nagare being key, but there's no invitations to tea, throwing up his hands in the air, gee, would could this possibly be?
If some thought the same, you won't get any fame, but you call this lame, well you know, that's why he came, because this Kasane Ate you just can't tame.
COMBATSYS: Nagare dodges Mai's Strong Kick.
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Mai 1/----===/=======|====---\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Nagare blocks Todoh's Fierce Kasane Ate.
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Mai 1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/---====|
A miscarriage?! B^U forbid it! Nagare can't have a miscarriage or else he'll be the butt of a many jokes, and so he moves, right quickly to stop such a fate from happening! And he does, impressively, stop the many shops of him in a hospital bed from happening! Even as Mai kicks right out! But Ngare is a mover not a shaker, and as ripe and fast as Todoh comes, Nagare will not no never stop such a thing! But he braces, raising his hands up to stop the oncoming torrent of pain that comes against him, the chi striking in as a manly man, Nagare driven back as the energy sears into his arms. That really hurt!
Nagare is able to move now, and when you move, you grove, you roll up and do it!
"I don't need lessons and I don't need skills,
My ability is too whicked its the moves that kills,
With Mai and Todoh up on my beach,
"I'll kick you with flippers even if you're not in my reach!" And Nagare does, throwing himself towards Todoh, waving a flipper right towards his figure, trying to flipper him back!
Mai misses, but doesn't feel bad, because she's still amazing. That said, she's starting to really show signs of fatigue, because she spent all of her training for today's SNF listening to rap records instead of her usual regimen of getting beaten up by her grandfather. Her grandfather will naturally beat her up anyway because she's tanking so badly.
"Don't count me out just yet little boys,
Mai's still bringing this crowd the noise
So if you think Mai can make it past these two,
Just clap your hands like I'm gonna do!"
Mai claps to the beat, and the crowd starts clapping along -- until she suddenly springs out of the clapping into a front handspring! Egged on by the crowd's cheering, she gathers her chi, and focuses it all into a super-fast, super-flaming elbow attack, chi bursting all around her like a horrific nightclub tragedy waiting to happen!
COMBATSYS: Todoh blocks Nagare's Light Kick.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/--=====|
COMBATSYS: Todoh blocks Mai's Chou Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi.
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Mai 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 0/-------/-======|
What does his daughter think of this? Will she see this SNF as a diss? We won't know what thoughts grip the young miss, but these three sure are taking a piss on things that make old masters hiss.
Such as Ryuhaku Todoh, not quite fly though, won't go as stale as four day old play doh, landing gently but whoa, that flipper is mean you know, and arms crossed he would go, between them does it hurt much, no.
But Mai lights that fire, to win that she aspires, to put ol' Todoh through the fryer, run him over like a tire, elbow free if he's a buyer, but Ryuhaku is like a plier, hat and sunglasses flung higher, and is it already down to the wire?
Maybe it's time for a solo, though expectations are low, with Nagare, Mai, and Todoh in a row, Todoh ain't flying back though, same guard holding against his foe, but damn the sleeves burn, yo! Waving his arms to a cursing flow, this match he's not one to throw. Trying to catch Mai's arms from below, is it time for the KO?
No lyrics, but the beat. Tap your feet, the ground he'll make Mai meet, slamming so fleet, she'd feel the heat, back and forth like he's elite, those brothers down there better stay in their seat, boomboxing these slams is the feat should the fates meet!
Nagare recoils as Todoh sends his kick backwards, knocking it away with his terriple hand! But wow, even Mai comes for him and Todoh is just a man on fire without actually being on fire! It's a sight to see and they have front row tickets!
Nagare is a moving and a shaking and waiting for a strike to come! But it doesn't, in fact, they're both busily striking out at each other! There is nothing Nagare can potentially do at first, but that is when it hits him. He must try to do the only thing that he had done to death! Or not done to death. Either way.
"Hey, Mai, be a funky fresh Mai,
Make the sun come up make the moon go down,
Make this thing go round n round,
Cause when Nagare man comes with the the table,
He might go through and bust the cradle!"
No it doesn't really make sense, but Nagare is grabbing a table. And this table is being held by Nagare. And this table is being brought around, albiet slowly, towards Mai's funky fresh beats.
COMBATSYS: Todoh successfully hits Mai with Bodyslam EX.
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Mai 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 1/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Mai dodges Nagare's Random Weapon.
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Mai 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Nagare
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Todoh 1/-------/=======|
Mai is bounced like a basketball by Todoh's slams. Belly down, too, so there is some kind of amazing joke in there as sje jiggles all over the battlefield. She hopes to use it as a means of getting in close and really doing damage, but as it turns out, Nagare is trying to kill her with a table. So that plan is tabled as she rolls away from the end of her beating, and kicks herself up into a defensive stance --
"I don't think you're gonna be able
To end my reign with a thing like a table
If that's your plan then it's destined to fail
At the hands of the superfly fighting fe-male!"
-- and Mai leaps onto the table, attempting to run along its surface up to Nagare and kick him in the head.
The table comes down, but there ain't no clown, none to make frown. Todoh, in shining trousers like a gown, lets Mai go after that killer solo round, an applause to be found but not for him, that cheering sound. Splinters go around, up Todoh is wound, chasing through because attacking he is bound.
"You think that's so good!
Wouldn't last in my hood!
You think you could?
I doubt you would!"
They don't like it. For all he cares, they can fall into a pit. Sometimes people want to pick a nit. Well then, it is time for the Todoh ass kicking kit. Falling forward a bit, bling the reflections lit, his palms to the ground they hit, past the table he'd fit, a sliding kick quicker than wit, now Nagare, can you dig it?
COMBATSYS: Nagare endures Mai's Light Kick.
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Mai 0/-------/---====|=======\-------\1 Nagare
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Todoh 1/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Nagare fails to interrupt Sweeping Kick from Todoh with Breast Stroke Kick EX.
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Mai 0/-------/---====|=======\==-----\1 Nagare
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Todoh 1/------=/=======|
Nagare, even as he sees Mai running across a table, can't dig it! He's gotta do this in the right way or else it's going to throw everything off! But he does, to begin with, letting Mai leap across the table and run up and kick him in the chest! Oof! The kick in the chest should give him enough momentum though, as he moves across towards Todoh!
As soon as he gets to Todoh, Nagare attempts to throw himself into his hood. But before he can, the sliding kick strikes out beneath him, dropping him to the floor before he can even get the strike off.
"Oof! I got shoved into a hole,
My clean sweep has got kicked free, but you still have to beat me!
You got no chance, not a little one,
But this lil' game is lots of fun!"
Nagare raps even as he gets off his ass. Off, that hurt a little!
Mai backflips off the table and looks toward Todoh.
"Nagare missed, but I'm on point
Bustin' rhymes like bones all up in this joint
Now this might hurt, I really can't lie
Enjoy a taste of the Hakuro no Mai!"
And with that, Mai draws her fans again, opening both with a steely 'KA-CHUNK.' She kicks the heavy balls tied to her little costume's tails, knocking them both up -- and then, with a twirl, she grabs both, stretching her arms out, tails fully extended, sharply edged fans ready for action. This has all taken, like, half a second -- and then she spins toward Todoh, a whirling dervish of fans and brazen thong shots.
COMBATSYS: Todoh fails to interrupt Hakuro no Mai from Mai with Jab Punch.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/---====|=======\-------\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 1/----===/=======|
Todoh's sliding along, deflecting Nagare like it's Pong. But even defeat don't stop his song, no matter what goes wrong. But don't you yet sound that gong, lying prone like a fallen King Kong.
Mai goes here, Ryuhaku's face a sneer, ready to prove he's beyond a peer, mike thrust up defensively with a leer, the view is great, dear. But the dance treats the hand like a rear, throwing the mike up, heights it'll fear. The crowds don't hesitate to cheer, the spinning dance hammering prone Todoh like tens of beers, standing him up in the process to another few jeers.
Todoh's face is stolen, the mistakes are tollin', but if Mai is still rollin', Todoh's mike falls waiting to be stolen.
Nagare just get right back up after that terrible terrible cup, slinking up to his feet is one big feet cause now they're all about and that's what this is for, gotta go all out. Nagare looks to Mai as she flips towards Todoh, and strikes Todoh in the Todoh. Oh, it's the todopocolypse as Todoh's thrust down and Mai spins!
Well, not one to be too bad of a person, Nagare heads right towards Todoh, attempting something that hasn't been seen in over fourteen minutes!
"Hey! Now it's Nagare's turn today,
Mai won't steal it no way,
It's time to flip the Todoh,
Cause nothing rhymes with Todoh. You dig?"
And Nagare does that, attempting to swim up and grab Todoh off the ground and flip him like a pancake from his back!
As Mai connects with her flurry of attacks and spins out of it as Nagare swoops in. Of course, all's fair in hip and hop, and so Mai comes up behind Nagare with an attack of her own, seeking to initiate a daisy chain of violence, just like Zangief dreams about.
"They say hittin' from the back is never right,
But they don't know how ninjas fight,
Sorry, Nagare, but you just can't compete
With Shiranui 'jitsu and Mai's two fleet feet!"
Mai leaps, hoping to catch Nagare at the outset of whatever he's got planned, doing a somersault in mid-air for no apparent reason and coming out of it with a stiff kick. Hey, kicking him worked before.
COMBATSYS: Todoh endures Nagare's Quick Throw.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/---====|=======\=------\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 1/--=====/=======|
Todoh ain't no pancake, don't try to poke him with a rake, he isn't a fake, you'd better flake, because losers he'll bake, you won't get two takes, one would give up now for their own sake!
The mike comes back, Nagare flips him off his back, Todoh's chance comes back, ain't no going back, back to back, catches the mike but none of the flak, pointing down at that swimming mac. For trouble, he's got a pack.
Todoh goes right side up, that's what's up, he won't go down like a sick pup, in the air he sticks up, doesn't give Nagare time for a cup, the tea would still be too hot, yup, the arms go up, mike in hand and spirits up, when the hands go down it erupts.
Don't ask me why, if a chi wave can be fly, but Todoh sure as hell tries, better check for your chance Mai, because what comes by, isn't as easy as pie. The mike sputters, the speakers fry, in the wake of its beats many props would die!
Blue, bladed, not belated, the technique is plenty related, it's time to get elated, Nagare might get sedated, could be violated, by the big blue white wave that regulated to a view that is pixellated.
COMBATSYS: Nagare blocks Todoh's Cho Kasane Ate.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/---====|=======\==-----\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Nagare dodges Mai's Strong Kick.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/--=====|=======\==-----\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Woah! Now that's a bad rap that Nagare has to deal with, not coming from the fighters, but FROM THE FIGHTERS. Danger danger!
Nagare has to deal with Mai's power kicks in a way he never wanted to, as she kicks mid air, she comes down aimed towards the fighters chest, only that this Nagare has completely migrated, flown away and up and out! It has ceased to be! (there)
But even then, Todoh comes at Nagare with a flipping mic chi explosion that rains down upon Nagare, forcing him to put up his arms in hopes of stopping it! Which he does, oh he does, but it really takes one of the most painful experiences that involes his arms burning.
And then he looks to Mai, forced out of the position to fight Todoh!
"Now Mai you think you're so fly,
I'm about to show you why you are not,
So lets get going and end this here,
For it's the end for you, damn clear!"
Nagare speeds forward, slipping and sliding down towards Mai's feet before vaulting off and flipping around, waterchi following his weird roundhouse with flippers! What chi may or not be involved. ( It is ).
COMBATSYS: Mai full-parries Nagare's Flipper Roundhouse!
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Mai lands on her feet in a crouch, having missed Nagare entirely, but as his chi-involved flipper roundhouse soars toward her face, at the last second she parries -- fans out, flipping them unfolded, slamming the steel up and out to KLANG against chi and flippers. She refuses to give an inch, and aftr a moment of glorious struggle, she cries out: "HA-AH!" and whips her head forward, causing her Dodgers cap to fly off her head at Nagare, breaking the deadlock in her favor!
She then swings herself upward in a flourish of fans, snapping them shut:
"It was a nice shot, homey, you gave it your best
But I study hard, so I aced that test
If you wanna try another one, be my guest
Send another flipper kick to the girl in the vest
But just like now you won't win at that quest
Now I don't mean at all to be a real pest
But I gotta make like a bird,
When it's time to bounce from the nest!"
Mai suddenly leaps upward, soaring like she's on wires to the wall of the club -- and then rocketing downward, headfirst, toward Nagare!
COMBATSYS: Mai has left the fight here.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/---====|=======\===----\1 Nagare
COMBATSYS: Todoh has left the fight here.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Nagare 1/----===/=======|
Todoh's big attack lands, now isn't that grand? With applause canned, the ego gets fanned but the camera gets panned, Mai and Nagare ain't the whole band, because Todoh's readying the pimp hand, is it better than being Hibiki Dan'd?
His back to the crowd at any rate, he won't wait, is it too little too late? Their ire he might bait, but one hand pointed straight, he lays down some new rhymes, mate.
"You think I'm done yet?
I got more than that you bet!
I'm the freaking vet!
It's about time you jet!
Why soon, game, match, set!
Nothing but net!"
The rhymes these crowds don't cotton, that one hooligan security has forgotten, from the mob he'd come trottin', once more a tomato most rotten. The hint, Todoh hasn't gotten.
COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Nagare with Musasabi no Mai EX.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Mai 1/------=/=======|=======\=====--\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Woah! Mai is totally funky fresh, the fans coming out even as she stops his mid air assault and causing the swimmer to fall backwards under her strength, the cap smacking Nagare in the head and sending him stumbling backwards as she raps, only for Mai to descend like some kind of descending Mai, stirking Nagare directly in the chest, even as he throws himself into it.
Beaten backwards, and ready for Todoh's assualt that never comes, the man seemingly rapping his way into the grave! Even if this grave is an awesome one and said is marked by tomatoes.
Nagare gets back up, and turns towards Mai, keeping his eyes upon the girl, this time it's going to be fresh and funky and not totally lame!
"I dunno what you got there,
But it ain't gonna matter here,
You're just keeping yourself up, yeah,
Just preventing the enevitable,
So why don't we try this awesome table!"
Nagare isn't a really good rapper, but the table he used earlier is coming back, aimed at sending it hurtled through the air towards Mai to knock her away with the power of wood!
COMBATSYS: Mai fails to interrupt Large Thrown Object from Nagare with Deep Strike.
[ \\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Mai 1/---====/=======|=======\=====--\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/---====|
Mai takes to the air as the table is thrown, her ninja leap in slow-motion as ninjas are able to do, enabling her to rhyme while soaring:
"I'ma jump up like this and touch the sky
Because who ever said that ninjas ain't fly
Enable all the tables until you run dry
But when I've busted this one I'ma make you cry
And by the way, I don't mean to pry
But what's up with jeans under trunks, what kind ofOOF AUGH"
The table slams into Mai mid-leap, and she tumbles down, landing on her shoulders and twitching.
COMBATSYS: Todoh successfully hits Todoh with Thrown Object.
[ \\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Mai 1/---====/=======|=======\=====--\1 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-======|
Mai's chances take another slap, but Todoh's got a bad rap, the tomato to his scalp with a 'thwack!' The older man goes 'gack!' And oh, that shiz is whack, angry eyes turn with intent to attack, the crowds still go yackety-yak along to the two that pick up the slack, but for taking crap the man's got a knack, some more trouble to pack, to be under their feet a tack.
The tomato splatter can stay, because Todoh ain't yet got in his say, so don't change the channel, Ray, or he'll make you pay, every night and day, he'll have his way, taking up his microphone to the fray, but will he keep Nagare at bay?
"I see you went and ran!
Took on a girl, not a man!
You want to see how to make a fan?!"
Todoh blinks, as if halting to think. "Well, do ya?" But don't you blink, the fan opens on the brink, swinging down to slap Nagare's head pink, wait what the hell is his kink, posing like that in the rink, he steals Mai's pose like a twink with one last rhyming link!
"To Number 1 in Japan?!"
COMBATSYS: Nagare fails to interrupt Random Weapon from Todoh with Random Weapon.
[ \\\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Mai 1/---====/=======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Nagare
[ \\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/=======|
Nagare is on fire! Nagere is burning! Nagare is hot hot hot!
Even as Mai is struck with the table, trying to break through it, Nagare vaults backwards, aiming to attempt another more hideous trial! Not to lok at Mai when she's down of course. But even as she flie through the air, Nagare can see that Todoh is coming for him too. Keeping up his vision, the ace swimmer watches as Todoh grab the fan, and he, in turn, grabs hold of huge pair of super bling pants, attempting to cross swing!
Whoops! Nagare misses completely, the fan striking Naare and sending him tumbling backwards and towards the ground.
"Ooof, ow, I lost my strike,
And now on this fight I'll take a hike,
But even if it hurts I'll tell you this,
Nagare ain't gonna be diss."
And Nagare just sort of lays there right now, slowly getting back up after being faned so hard!
As Todoh and Nagare have their face-off, Mai recovers. She shakes some dizzies away and adopts a firm fighting stance, although she's bruised and battered and generally looks like she's on her last legs.
"Sorry, Mai fans, but this might be the end
I might not break but I still can bend
I've got wounds that I need to tend
And I doubt these guys have mercy to lend
So I'ma give it one shot and put it all on the line,
And if it bombs I might be out of luck this time,
Doin' my best without gettin' all mental or aggy
Once more: Chou Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi!"
Mai summons up every last ounce of chi in her beaten frame, and leaps again. Handspring into flying elbow -- and her chi is so focused that she leaves afterimages as she fixes her arm into the proper elbow-murder position and flies through the air. She's got one last shot -- will it pay off?!
COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Todoh with Chou Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi.
[ \\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Mai 0/-------/-------|=======\======-\1 Nagare
[ \\\ <
Todoh 1/----===/=======|
Seems like Mai don't jive, with how Todoh steals her thing live, but she ain't taking no dive, Andy Borgard's future wife.
Poor Ryuhaku Todoh, posing like a fool, looking to claim his rule, but Mai don't punch with pull, socks him in the jaw and that ain't cool, vision swimming like a pool, but he's got one last tool.
Too hurt to speak, no phat beats to leak, but going down he ain't meek, raising his arms up (boy they stink), while flying to next week. Is this him at his peek?
This day they may rue, doing that thing he got to do, the trick ain't new, but can they say who, from the stables and zoos, that its wielders could number two? Arms fall as he flew, the lights above are blue, like a ghost it's like boo, that new cover just for you, the Meiou Ken remix ain't poo, flush Nagare's chances like poo, before Todoh goes down with the loo.
The many pieces of light, segmented together they hurt quite, but is it time to say goodnight, on the cold floor to end his flight, the last stop of his for this fight?
COMBATSYS: Todoh can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Nagare 1/-======/=======|-------\-------\0 Mai
Oh yeah, Todoh hits that ground, nothing but a beaten old mound, nobody comes to gather around, when two more got to pound. Follow the sound, where the fight is bound, and that Todoh soon ain't to be found.
COMBATSYS: Nagare dodges Todoh's Meiou Ken.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Nagare 1/-======/=======|-------\-------\0 Mai
Mai goes and breaks it down upon Todoh's head, and body, and everything! It looks like it is! It hurts as it looks! Nagare is just fishy fly, and he really doesn't want to get burned by this spurn! But oh daym! Mai fans are shown what it is! Kerblam! Nagare just has to deal as Todoh gets up and represents, sending Todoh spiralling before the many pieces of light strike out towards the swimmer, and the swimmer is left with one deal! He's got to go underneath it! Oof! Running forward and beneath it, sliding towards Mai's legs, the swimmer breaks out.
"Even if thos pants weren't fresh,
I gotta tell you i'm not a dish,
Sorry man you can't burn me,
This fish ain't fried gotta be free,
And now Mai I have to say,
It's time your knees felt more today!"
Lurching out and ending at Mai's knees, Nagare arcs back, kicking up once more, water chi spewing out towards Mai's figure, aiming to wash her away in a terrible double combo of kicks and water chi!
COMBATSYS: Mai dodges Nagare's Super Splash Kick.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Nagare 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Mai
Mai's knockout of Todoh adrenalizes her, and she wipes the sweat from her brow as her flamin' chi dies down. She adopts an aggressive stance, waiting for Nagare, tense with the focus of a lion eyeing prey. As he charges forward on his splashin' kick, she leaps and /runs/ along his water chi, moving so quickly as to not even fall through the surface, only to jump off to the other side of the fighting space.
"Todoh's out and one of us is next
And if it's me, Nag, don't be vex'd
So your splashy kick missed, well you might be hex'd
Bad luck against the ninja who exploits her sex!"
She flips toward Nagare, planting herself down and going chi-crazy again -- just as he rode the water, she hopes to give him a taste of fire, too, as she presses her hands together in a vaguely meditative way, bows her head, and suddenly erupts in a blossom of flame!
COMBATSYS: Nagare blocks Mai's Kagero no Mai.
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Nagare 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Mai
Even with Todoh down, Mai is keeping up! Nagare finds it hard that his feet don't connect, and instead, Mai is exploiting Nagare's weakness, coming down and blossoming flame directly towards him! Oh no! But the swimmer isn't out of this, he's not going to simply let her win! Raising his hands, the swimmer fights back, forcing himself against it even as it licks his arms.
"Well Todoh's cone, and you got missed,
But we'll see whos the winner by a fist,
Ninja you may be but try to dodge this,
It'll make your head spin as you wish!"
And Nagare explodes outwards, arms a going as he aims to run directly into Mai, and bash her with his hands and figure! It's terribly awesome!
COMBATSYS: Mai fails to interrupt Dog Paddling from Nagare with Ryuu Enbu.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Nagare 0/-------/--=====|
COMBATSYS: Mai can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Nagare 0/-------/--=====|
"Doggy paddlin', Nagare, that's amateur hour
Why don't you try some more firepower--"
And then, as she tries to spin into her signature Ryuu Enbu, Mai is hit in the head with paddles about fourteen times, and slumps to the ground, unconscious.
THE RAP WARS ARE OVER.
Even as Nagare comes down, and Mai strides forward with her signature, Nagare keeps on swimming! And swim he does, moving and grooving allll over there, striking into Mai a great number of times before depositing himself upon the ground, breathing heavily as he rolls to a close, coming to a stop at a dead beat and sporting a smile.
"Wow...uhh... I mean!
Ow, that looked like it really hurt,
Mai you just ate the dirt,
And now we close this rappin' fest,
With the swimmer that is the best,
And all yall haters can just go drown,
Cause Nagare's the dopest fighter in town!" Nagare announces, clearing his throat afterwards.
"Oh, hah! Nice fight guys! It was a lot of fun! Next time, well, uhh. We can do something else! But maybe not rapping. I'll all for alternative lifestyles and music but this has been following me since last Saturday Night Live!" Nagare announces, quickly making himself exit stage left.
Log created on 19:45:13 09/20/2008 by Todoh, and last modified on 20:47:14 09/27/2008.