Description: "I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you're having a good idea but it's just eggs hatching." This description brought to you by, people need to learn to desc their logs. (Winner: ?!?!)
Two Thousand and Eight. An epic battle is about to take place. How epic? This was a question bothering the suits who worked with the Saturday Night Fight Committee. They could say something was epic, but how could they objectively prove it was that epic? After much debate, they hired a team of expert epicologists to weigh out this difficult question. With the information provided, they swiftly acted, analyzing every awesome twinge inside the match. After hours of contemplating, they finally reached a conclusion.
THAT EPIC!
Bruce's Bountiful Boxing Factory was set up last night for this fight. Bruce had agreed to set aside the main warehouse portion of the factory floor, for insurance purposes. This was had a 20% chance of not happening, due to the epic levels found at this fight. Despite this, the warehouse was the most arranged at set up, cameras arranged from every corner of the extensive box warehouse. Boxes of all shapes and sizes were scattered throughout the largest box warehouse in the Eastern Hemisphere. Not only there were boxes of boxes, but SNF even imported the most random and esoteric of items into each of them. They could be filled with anything.
That anything was what Choi was busy hunting for. He didn't want to deal with Naerose. Maybe Frei. Frei would be easy to take out, in his mind. But better to let him fight the witch. But where was Frei? Digging into the box, Choi closed the lid. The witch would be hunting him down, but not to fight. To MARRY him. Choi squeaked. This was horrible. Terrible. And just plain wrong. Not a religious man, he began to pray.
Please let Frei beat her into a pulp before she finds me!
"Greetings Fight Fans and welcome to another night of Saturday Night Life, in the day time," A pause, muffled speaking then the voice comes back, "Sorry, my co announcer Sylvester informs me that it is Saturday Night Fight! I am your official annoucer Naerose Delphine, here to bring you the epic battle between Choi Bounge, Frei Tsukitomi-Renard and.. Oh it says here Frei couldn't make it due to a spiritual emergency, therefore it will be just Choi Bounce and and Naerose Delphine, unfonrtunatey only Choi seems to have arrived so far.."
The witches voice booms as she seems to have hacked into a sound system somehow with her cell phone. Meanwhile a SNF rep comes up to her, whispers in her ear. Her conversation can be over heard on the sound system.
"Huh? what you say over hear? Okay.. "
Naeroes, all dressed in red adjusts her black shades (which are not red) and looks around.
"So..?" She notices Choi.
"Oh right. Fight!" she cries and smiles as if expecting to watch a fight take place.
COMBATSYS: Naerose has started a fight here.
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Naerose 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Choi has joined the fight here.
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Choi 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Naerose
Choi was trembling in the box. Frei? Couldn't make it? That would mean... Yes, the announcer made it clear. He and her would have to settle their differences. ALONE. Squeaking, he slowly pops his head out the box. He sees her, in red and black, and unfortunately for the Korean, Naerose sees him to. Waiting for him.
FOR MARRIAGE.
Choi screams, and pops back into the box. He had to make a very important decision now. Would he hide from the horrible all devouring mistress of the cockblock, or would he fight? He knew that his perverted powers were now jammed by the aura she was emitting. He was alone. He wished Chang was here. He would know how to take care of a girl who eats. A Sickening sense reached the pit of his stomach. What if Chang grew to like her. Mental images rushed through his mind. No. No. He couldn't allow this. He had to fight. For the sake of Chang and the sane world.
The box shakes a bit. The lid seems to slowly open for a moment. The Korean peeks out, and suddenly pops back in. And then, Choi explodes out, shouting at the top of his little lungs, "POP GOES THE KOREAN, NAEROSE!" Spiraling through the air like a drill, he heads up in the air at roughly a 45 degree angle. Flipping in the air once, he then dives down right at the witch, claws out, trying to cut her down with his charging strike.
COMBATSYS: Naerose endures Choi's Houkou Tenkan.
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Choi 0/-------/------=|===----\-------\0 Naerose
"Daaaarling!" Cries the witch and accepts Choi's love fully with her arms opened wide. Only apparently Choi likes his love rough as he scratches her all up with them claws and the witch is like, totally ugh. Yo. Only she's still smiling.
"Choi Bounce opens up with his affections at the start of the round, a direct hit, but we'll see *pant with effort* how his opponent responds," That pant with effort was the witch doing a biiiiiig wind up and .. and and...!
Woosh, she swings her broom fully at Choi as if trying to ensure she didn't miss, not a little, not a lot, not at all, on and show how domestic she can be. Naerose, totally a house wife. Totally.
" And she swings, but can she connect?" The witch asks, having secured a bluetooth device to her ear, allowing her to announce and fight at the same time.
COMBATSYS: Choi dodges Naerose's Clean Sweep.
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Choi 0/-------/------=|====---\-------\0 Naerose
Choi normally would be open to swingin' females. However, this is wrong on so many levels. His opening strike, normally a moment of pride, was nothing but shame now. She was enjoying this? The Korean may have gotten blood, but she was getting pleasure. Of all the ladies the Korean could have pleasured, it had to be Naerose. And why was the announcer talking about this lik-
Choi's pupils, from behind his sunglasses, were secretly turning into pinpricks. She was the announcer. This must have been a set up. A set up for only one thing. Marriage. Squealing in horror, the Korean breaks from his attack, rolling on the ground. The broom gets nothing but dust. Choi continues to barrel backwards, smashing into a mass of boxes. And then, he burrows in deeper. In the boxes, he would be harder to find. Safe from the hungry hungry witchpo. And there, he contemplated new options.
Entering melee was dangerous. She might do something like tie him up, and take his wallet. He might have to use his trump card. No. If he used his trump card, then he could NEVER enjoy himself in Japan ever again. He would win this without being ensnared by the red head's wiles. He was strong. He was fast!
"I am CHOI!" He calls out, rising from the boxes, carrying a moderate-sized container of what seems to be filled with individual boxes of Life cereal. "And I will never marry you, crazy lady! Now, get a LIFE!" He shouts, hurling the box at her with a grunt.
COMBATSYS: Naerose dodges Choi's Thrown Object.
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Choi 0/-------/------=|====---\-------\0 Naerose
Usually the witch would be all about food, but at this moment it seems she's not. For one there isn't enough sugar in Life cereal and two she can't announce with her face stuffed, and three, well getting out of the way saved the food for later right? Which is way better than not having it at all because she say threw a crazy projectile through it. . wait. Can't announce with her mouth stuffed? OH YES SHE CAN. Naerose totally picks one of the boxes off the ground after doing a spiffy action movie dodge roll to one side. She tears opened the lid and stuffs a handful down her gaping maw.
"MAhafu mufhfh mhm hmmfhf *crunch crunch crunch* Mufhfmfm mmm mmmm" The announcer bellows over the speakers and probably at this time a got milk? commercial should play.
But the witch doesn't attack, she just fixes her shades and chows down on more cereal. Waste not.
COMBATSYS: Naerose focuses on her next action.
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Choi 0/-------/------=|====---\-------\0 Naerose
And in response, Choi fixes his shades. His brash move seems have succeeded... kinda. She was distracted, at least, by the box's content. Yeah. Even though the box itself was dodged, Choi was not about to let himself lose this opportunity. Life was made for kids. And even though Naerose was not a child, she was on the inside. Choi considered this for a moment. A kid with the body of a woman against a man with the body of a child? Was there something unsaid being pulled here. Oh well.
Leaping from his box barrier, he runs low on the ground. Arms dangling loosely, Choi bounded with each step. Closing in on the snarfing Witch, he crunches down on a box of cereal. The midget dips low on that delicious life cereal before shooting upwards in the air. Flipping backwards, he begins a backwards kick, trying to smash that evil lady right in the chin. And with a parting shot, snarks at the witch. "Don't eat with your mouth full, toots!"
COMBATSYS: Naerose interrupts Hien Zan from Choi with Spellbinder EX.
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Choi 0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0 Naerose
But wait, the witch is totally eating, who would interrupt someone who was eating? She swallows and a HUUGE lump of cereal travels down her throat. She probably had half the box worth in her mouth at that time. The witch holds out her hand, having moved the box to the crock of her arm. Her empty hand becomes a stop sign and she's like:
"Stop!" Then her hand gets kicked, but it doesn't matter, there is that biiig smile on her face, that scary big smile that seems to never leave her lips, the winning, confident, and somehow.. off.. smile.
*FLASH*
Actually showing witch like powers her hand explodes a harmless flash, but blinding, very blinding.. Naerose is spared by the darkness of her round shades, but Choi? He gets a full two armed baseball bat style swing of broom to the face, the sort of force would of sent a normal person flying and possibly through the nearest wall.
Meanwhile.
"Oh snap! Naerose opens up with a sneaky surprise attack, that has got to hurt, she sure is beating up on that little baby, someone call social services!" The announcer (Naerose) Bellows and then gives a 'V' sign to the audience.
Choi finishes his strike, kicking some serious hand. Grinning broadly, he knew that this was great. He wasn't going to lose this. He wasn't going to-
*FLASH*
-Why am I on the floor? This thought ran through Choi's head as he laid there, his face hurts. Why was his nose bleeding? Why was his FACE bleeding from both sides. Groaning, he shook his head. Her rumblings rattled through the Korean's head. Was he... was he just set up? He had uniformly considered Naerose an idiot the moment he met her. But there was that nagging notion in the back of his mind.
Was it all a front?
She might be a genius very good at playing a fool. Sneering, he pulls himself up to a sitting position. Then to a squatting position. With a snarl, he leaps forward at the little witch, trying to dive between her legs. Claws out, he made sure to give her hamstrings a little affection. And by affection, he meant cutting.
COMBATSYS: Choi successfully hits Naerose with Power Strike.
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Choi 0/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Naerose
Genius? Fronting? Really smart? If the witch knew what Choi was thinking, she'd be all blushing and stuff, but then here he comes and she's like,
"Darlllling!" She opens her arms wide, the audience gasps (mainly in disgust that she just said that outloud across the entire PA system) And then.
Gets hit.
Smash, Genius that. The witch falls over backward and totally rubs her head like, ouch? Then she's on her feet again and starts playing the part of announcer. The hit really knocked her and even gave her a bruise, which looks even silly when she is grinning like that.
"Okay okay, Darrrling likes it rough,"
"Well folks, "Naerose goes on as the announcer, "It looks like baby stewie packs a real punch! Lets see what his opponent does to clean his diaper!"
Naerose just tries to kick him like a football.
COMBATSYS: Choi dodges Naerose's Strong Kick.
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Choi 0/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1 Naerose
Choi joins the audience in disgust. Well, yes! He liked it rough! Wait, was she hitting on him now? Why was she so confusing! One moment, he has to use sock puppets to explain the facts of life. The next, she is getting all kinky on him! Why are red heads so confusing? At least his low strike was successful.
Sliding on through beneath her on his knees, he crosses his arms in front of him. And listens. Baby stewie? Was she... was she calling him a baby. A small child. A SHORT MAN? Anger burned inside the Korean. He hated being called short. And now, the witch was mocking him AND calling him that? As an announcer? No. That was simply too far. Now it was time to put the witch back in line. Or, dare he think. The bitch?
When Naerose brings forward her punt, Choi reacts intuitively. He backflips, arcing over the nasty kick. Aiming for behind Naerose, he had a very simple plan. "You think you can play with my heart like that, ginger?" He starts as he fixes himself in midair. Drifting down to Naerose's shoulders, he edges in for a piggy back ride. "Well, I'll show you how rough I like it, toots! KEE YAH!" He finishes, ready to drive his claws in the back of her neck, skull, and, uh, back.
COMBATSYS: Naerose fails to interrupt Zujou Sashi from Choi with End Creation End.
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Choi 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Naerose
The witch totally doesn't know what's going on, only that there is this little dude and he's pissed. Oh wait a fiance or something, but then she knows that she has a job to do, right announcing, but he's shouting at her. She tries to do what she can to quell the situation,
"Umm , want some cereal? Slightly used..." He seems unimpressed.
"Okay folks, as you can see we have a clash of titans coming up. Teen titans, hah, okay that was a good one, and here comes the attack."
She starts charging up her own assault but.. ends up on her back.
It's the witches turn to stare at the sky and contemplate the meaning of life, that and how the heck she got knocked off her feet onto her back. The world may never know. Actually most people know, especially those watching the fight who had to put up with her sudden shriek as she was struck.
Ah. Face stabs. Truly the most socially active of all stabs. Instead of the more traditional ones, it gave a sense of dignity. Pride. And above all, hitting where it counts. Yes, in a world where so few has so much blood, it is the duty of Choi to liberate that blood from those who have it. And on that same token, it is his duty to spread that blood to all that do not have it. Much like panties. Choi was very socialized. Panties and blood to all who lack it! The Korean should run for president some day. Or maybe mayor. Does Metro City allow foreigners to be mayor?
In any case, Choi happily thrusts his claws into poor little Naerose, cackling madly. "./' Stabbing, Stabbing, stabbing is the best! Right in the face, or right in the chest, though the later involves the breast ./'" He sing songs, finishing up his clawing frenzy. With a howl, he finishes up his hacking strike, leaping up in the air. The Korean was sneering now, unleashing one last stomp on the face of the poor witch before diving back to the safety of the scattered boxes.
COMBATSYS: Choi successfully hits Naerose with Heavy Kick.
- Power hit! -
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Choi 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Naerose
Gets a total boot to the head and for all her troubles is pretty dazed. She's all like @@, except she has shades on, so it's hard to tell. The red clad woman gets slowly to her feet and then tries to do her self proclaimed job.
"Ugh.. Now that's totally what we like to call big damage folks. Now to Sylvester for some ring side announcements."
She takes off the head piece, tosses it to a nearby bunny, who .. obviously .. doesn't catch it, afterall, this is a bunny. Instead the bunny just stands there and gets hit then starts to chew on the device. If only the witch knew.
She adjusts her shades and avoids actually making any attack.
COMBATSYS: Naerose focuses on her next action.
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Choi 1/------=/=======|-------\-------\0 Naerose
Ah. Choi was getting clever on this witch. Diving back in the boxes, he begins crafting a scheme. So far, being hard to follow was a boon. Like how the witch used his own perversion against him, he must use her own chaotic nature against her. He swiftly cut through the boxes. There had to be something here. Something he could work with. Bowling pins. Brasseries. Hello Kitty Stuffed Dolls. These would have to do.
Continuing to drive through the piles of boxes, he wasn't that hard to follow. Choi wasn't bothering to bluff his position. However, the horizontal movement stopped. He was there in a single point, shuddering, shaking. And with a yelp, he pops out from the boxes with his device. Two hello kitty dolls were tied together by a brassiere, which Choi was spinning around like a bola. And yet, it seemed to have weight. Yes, the Kitties were stuffed and weighted with the bowling pins. With Hello Bola in toe, the sneering Korean hurls the improvised device at Naerose's legs, trying to bring her to the ground. Choi was fighting smart? Or simply creative?
COMBATSYS: Choi successfully hits Naerose with Thrown Object.
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Choi 1/------=/=======|==-----\-------\0 Naerose
Well it works, whatever it was he did with a sort of toy made Bola and the hellow kitty and, hey cool. While the Korean might be in some mood the witch seems to be having fun, despite looking more or less totally ragged out dood. That was, well before she gets hit by the bola thing and falls face first into the ground and that's enough, the witch doesn't get up. Is she..? Snoring?
The fight is called for Choi, whom much to the fortune of, well everyone, there is no longer the witch to do the annoying announcing for the matches.
Somehow.. there still seems to be crunching going on. Is she eating cereal in her sleep? Imposisble! Right? RIGHT?!
COMBATSYS: Naerose takes no action.
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Choi 1/------=/=======|
COMBATSYS: Naerose can no longer fight.
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Choi 1/------=/=======|
Yes. It is impossible. However, Choi expected something, well, different. After all, it was just an improvised device. It wasn't actually supposed to knock her out. Only slow her down and draw her to the boxes. Instead, she fell... asleep? Once again, Naerose's chaotic nature has defeated Choi. Well, in spirit. Instead, the robin hood of panties slowly slips out from the pile of boxes. He looked at the crunching witch, and shook his head. Nuts. Absolutely nuts.
Looking up at a camera, he flashes a toothy grin, showing quite a bit of overbite in the process. Grabbing his hands to each other, he shakes it in the air. "OOOOOH HA! KOREA FOREVER!" He shouts, celebrating his victory. And yet, he had that nagging regret in the back of his mind. Where were the panties? Why were they hidden? And what ever happened to Baby Jane? All would remain a mystery until the next exciting episode of:
SATURDAY NIGHT FIGHT: KOREAN EDITION!
Log created on 12:57:45 03/30/2008 by Naerose, and last modified on 16:35:57 04/01/2008.