Description: An absolutely egregious conglomeration of monosyllabic homonym profanity, projectile comestibles, clothing destruction, and screaming Dutch announcers. (Draw Match)
The lights are dim. The crowds are hushed. Murmurs echo throughout the audience. The clock ticks, before--
"And nooow, it's time... for FIGHTYAT!!!"
The lights ignite with a flourescent flare as they illuminate the stage of the set of FIGHTYAT! the fighting game! A series of horrifically pastel colors fitting for a children's room or Easter time are revealed as cameras zoom in on the set; a series of light yellows, blues and purples compose the bulk of the set, with a series of platforms, the word 'FiGhTyAt!' emblazoned across several signs attached to the walls of the expansive set. Spotlights sweep around, illuminating various areas brightly as the announcer speaks, a translator simultaneously reworking the words into English:
"And now, your host... ACKE ALMQUUUUIIIIIIIIIIS!!"
Spotlights focus in on a single form advancing upon the stage; a man in a blue blazer and lighter blue turtleneck shirt, black hair and a thin black mustache. The crowds roar as he smiles brightly and waves. "HALLO! It is time -- for FIGHTYAT!!" The crowds roar once more, spouting Dutch words of praise before Acke silences them.
"EN NOW, to introduce our players--"
The spotlights turn, to illuminate the right and left entrances. And where are the contestants?!
The spotlights go past Ryuhaku Todoh, who is not even at any of the proper entrances. This is absolutely normal and should be no case for alarm no matter how private your property or how improper his place. By the time they go back to try and see who that man is, he's already decided to move somewhere else on the set. All they see on the first pass is him crossing his arms and looking thoughtful about this perfectly dignified battleground with a little gleam in his eye. He might have been smiling. He may also have been ten feet tall and have four sets of arms. (lies)
"BAH! What do you care! How about you introduce the fool I'll clobber like Takuma Sakazaki and a big heaping tub of lard?!" This can only be heard by the audience because he appears to have smuggled in his own microphone. A vein bulges in his head, as though the Dutch audience is perfectly aware of who he is, what he does, and how awesome he is. The chances of this, well... don't tell him.
In his other hand, he fans himself as he stands center stage in place of tapping his foot as a sign of his continued impatience. This relaxes a moment later. "Oh, right, and that kid too. Go oooon."
Well, the appointed day has arrived. Formerly just someone who kept to himself in Gedo, using what fighting skill he had to get bullies off his back, now Haru Izanami has to make his debut in the fighting world. Why? Because he lives alone, and the part time job that sustained him for three years has since dried up. Professional fighting seemed like the easiest way to make use of talent he already had, and thus the preparations began. Training, mastering the nuances of combat, studying opponents far and wide... and recently a spar with somewhat famous Gedo fighter Hakuya Suigetsu, to get into the mindset of the 'pro fighter'. As far as a tactics-obsessed shrimptoast like Haru is concerned, he's done the best he can. The rest is up to putting plans in action.
However, he was not exactly briefed on FIGHTYAT, or as Haru has been calling it in his head ever since he arrived, 'Dr. Seuss' Saturday Night Fight Game Show Spectacular'.
Waiting in the wings in his typical outfit of black on black with the Gedo third year jacket tied around his waist, Haru is about to step out when he hears Todoh's voice booming from the rafters (let's face it, does Todoh need a mic? Probably not). One eyebrow goes up; there's no way that could be Billy Kane, someone famous enough that Haru thinks he could recognize the former King of Fighters champ just by hearing it. He cautiously steps out on to the stage and glances at Todoh, then at the cameras, saying in a dry tone, "...I appear to be 'that kid'."
What do people think Billy thought, when a man of his prestige and fighting status was chosen for attending in some bizarre, nonsensible, and silly mockery of fighting? Where the grand prize was a *pig*? Why, he was ecstatic. Billy is not a man who is even remotely serious most of the time, laid back and casual; he can see the humor in the entire thing, and it's somewhat refreshing to worry less about the importance of smacking down the enemy for once. After all, winning is not really all that much better then losing.
He's opted to begin mild stretches at his own designated point, ignoring the frenzied search for Todoh as his long staff rests upon his shoulder. And then, at the proper queue, he pops out; stance spread, wearing his quite easily recognized outfit of open denim jacket, NO SMOKING emblazoned on the back, and his British colored bandana. A rather acrobatic twirl of his weapon follows, and one thumb thrusts out with a smile that almost twinkles like Kim. "Hey hey hey!"
Well, it fits the set at least. A washup deluded old man and someone he's never heard of... he had hoped the fight wouldn't be too easy...
The impeccably, stylishly dressed Acke Almquis looks a little bit shocked at Ryuhaku's STUNNING APPEARANCE, and one that certainly does not fit the mold. The man looks up, squinting intently at the old fighter. And then... he claps. He claps excitedly, and the audience all clap and cheer with him. They have no idea who Ryuhaku Todoh is.
Which might explain all the roaring applause.
"AAAH!! How excite, ya?! En now, our other fighters!! Haru Iza... Ize... Izuhnahmee!!" Apparently the host has a little trouble pronouncing names, but gives a broad, sweeping gesture towards Haru as he speaks -- just in case no one realized. Grinning like a buffoon, Acke turns his attention away as the crowd roars with applause, gesturing towards the other entrance. "EN... former King of Fighters... BILLY KANE!!"
More applause. Just about an equal amount too, as it would seem many of these people aren't accustomed to the prestige that is being a King of Fighters. But, as the applause dies, Acke gestures to both sides, bringing his microphone up close. "Let the Fightyat... BECOME COMMENCE!!" The lights of the FiGhTyAt! signs flash on and off in a potentially seizure-inducing display, and despite Almquis' poor English, the meaning is clear: the time to begin... is now!!?
COMBATSYS: Billy has started a fight here on the right meter side.
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|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Todoh has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Haru has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
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Haru 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Starscream has joined the fight here.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
"YEH HAH HAH HAH!! Yeeeeeesss, that's right!" Poor deluded old fool he may be, but sometimes, just sometimes, him having the wrong idea is far deadlier than the truth could ever be. Cheer him on like the sideshow he is! He crouches down a little, setting his microphone up against the knee while he fans himself for the crowds with that smile and an accompanying chuckling after the obnoxious laugh he has been attributed to by people who ever bother to pay attention.
This keeps going even as the others are introduced, because let's face it, to Ryuhaku Todoh, he is the main attraction. This will never change. But there is a hidden darkness behind the smile, for he has surmised (possibly even made up) that the hated Kyokugen dojo may be opening a theme park to appeal to their ways. HE has decided to counter this... with a petting zoo. And first he needs the centerpiece. The pot-bellied pig. It would not do to simply buy it, or to even filch it. No. This is beyond petty revenge, beyond family honor, beyond sheer spite... well, no, it isn't.
But he wants him that damn pig.
"So... Billy Kane." Todoh never even faces who his teammate happens to be or the King of Fighters himself as the fight is signaling to start. Bad form, really. "Have you been good lately? Hm? You know. That thing from months ago that--"
And then the man just pivots like he's a two-dimensional figure only capable of looking one of two ways outside of select gestures with his arms up and his mouth running even faster and /louder/, "DOESN'T COUNT IN THE LEAST BECAUSE THIS TIME VICTORY SHALL BE MINE," and all the while his hands go up, forming those delightful chunks of chi that many have come to know and love except the audience might not know what the point of this gesture is because of all the flashy gaudy epileptic lights that mask what it is. Who knows! Maybe it may just be a brand spankin' new application of his cherished technique which revolutionizes the art of chi manifestation in all imaginable ways and be worthy of further standing applause!
...Pshaw, naw, three yellow chunks, guided down faster by the downward motion of his arms. It's much more obvious once it's not up against the flashing lights.
What the hell is going on.
Watch SNF long enough, of course, and you become keenly aware that unlike the Neo League, it's not just people punching each other until one falls over. Some call it a gimmicky game show, others say it adds flavor and spice to the world's most popular sport. But to Haru, he was expecting something mild like 'lemon pepper' and instead just got whatever the hottest flavor of wing sauce at Buffalo Wild Wings is called. This is just a bit too much spice for him, and the sort of vacant, glassy look in his eyes as Todoh and Billy (mostly Todoh) exchange some really interesting words. For his part, Haru simply looks at the Brit with a respectful nod, adding, "It'll be educational to fight against you, Mr. Kane." It's the truth, which tends to be the best recourse in this sort of situation.
His right hand is absent-mindedly pulling a yoyo up and down, almost on reflex or autopilot... it's his one nervous motion. Curiously, however, he doesn't stop when the announcer yells "FIGHT(yat)!". Instead, he simply braces himself even as Todoh is rushing the opponent, then ducks forward and spins, snapping said yoyo hand out to the side and looking, quite honestly, to smack Billy in the face with it. How's that for unusual fighting styles?
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Haru's Medium Fling.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy overcomes Kasane Ate from Todoh with Large Thrown Object.
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Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
There's a second look given to Todoh near the tail end of his statement, scratching his head through the bandana. "...Did we ever fight before?" he asks, with distant nostalgic confusion that is likely proof of such. He goes through a lot of people after all, and few leave any distinct impression in his head even without a broad passage of time. Yet he takes note of Haru's comment, and merely gives him a foreboding grin. "The best way of learning how to fight, kid, is seeing how far ya have to go..." As the yoyo flashes out, he ducks in a fluid motion, snapping the end of his staff into the boldly colored F spelling out the name of the present venue. And in a vicious motion, wrenches it off in a crack of steel bolts, sending it flying right towards Todoh. The familiar swirl of energy breaks apart beneath the weight, and it continues unabated!!
~~~~~~~~~ F Todoh
The crowd collectively gasps at this unheard of defiling of the now ightyat stage.
COMBATSYS: Todoh fails to slow Large Thrown Object from Billy with Kasane Ate.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
F Todoh. 'nuff said.
But for those that have to pry more into the matter, or simply need the joke explained and thus ruin it for everyone who is just coming across absolute international comedy gold among English speakers, here's the skinny.
His hands go up yet again. Surrender? The wave? Like he doesn't care? He shows not a whole lot of effort in throwing gravity-enabled blocks of glowy shiny stuff because he doesn't need to. While running his mouth. And maybe even while walking and chewing gum.
"Watch me kid-- IT'LL MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD AS I PUNK THIS PUNK WITH THE CHER--" It would be very hard to describe what happens in a way that does this justice. The 'F' flies through chi that hasn't fully formed, conking the old loudmouth square on his forehead with his eyes all bugged out with some of the reddest, driest looks you'll find for miles from sheer offense that would lose effect in the countless replays to come.
And so, Ryuhaku Todoh collapses onto the set in a cloud of pastel dust and clatter. (How the hell does clattering have a color? F that.)
There's a distinctive sound, a sort of combination slap/snap noise, as Haru effortlessly yanks the yoyo back into his waiting palm, surveying the goings on with a raised eyebrow. In a sort of amusing tableau, he turns to the side and watches as Todoh bowls past him into the depths of a set that was probably up to modern health and safety codes in, oh... 1962. "Surely," he says to Billy even as he watches his teammate roll on by like a runaway tumbleweed. He turns to Billy and, taking a deep breath, falls back into stance again, yoyo falling to the ground and then back up to his hand, over and over, the way some fighters flex their fingers or move their bodies in anticipation of a defensive maneuver.
"But if the people I've met recently are any indicator, another good judge is to see how far you can push yourself." He thinks back on his fight with Hakuya for a moment, and then goes for broke. Dashing at Billy low to the ground, getting in much closer quarters, he lashes out with the yoyo again... this time not to hit, but to wrap it around any part of the King of Fighters that makes itself apparent: leg, arm, even the neck if it's workable. If he can get that grip, Haru heaves with all his might, sending Billy sailing around in a circular orbit before directing his motion straight into the ground.
COMBATSYS: Billy counters Evocative Jade from Haru with Fire Dragon Pursuit Cane.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
One should never underestimate the sheer potency of Billy's F-bombs. They are capable of destroying fighters of a much higher level then Todoh, at least outside his own mind. Smirking at the success and the only quiet he'll have from the coot the entire fight, Haru is given his full attention once more. "Pushing yourself. That's loser talk. Trying your hardest doesn't win you fights, kid. Don't let anything replace hard work and determination..." The end of his staff slams down, and it is this that the yoyo wraps about. A true herald of pain. He quickly snaps upwards, catching Haru in the ribs and hefting him upwards; before breaking apart into three quarters, literally cackling as he unleashes a flurry of impacts culminating in an overhead smack, to deposit him face-first. "Like I said... just see how far you gotta go... and that'll do you a hell of a lot more then trying your damndest!!"
'OOOoooOOOOoooo's and 'AAAaaaaaAAAaaaa's fill the audience as the trio battle. Gasps overcome them as Billy RIPS off the 'F' of that sign. What a travesty! How brutal! Even Acke looks shocked, his mouth formed into a little 'o' and eyes wide. As Billy brutally counter-attacks Haru's efforts, the crowd once more goes into hushed whispers and applause--
--Which is about when the lights of the signs and spotlights begin to fly around. A series of bells go off like a violent alarm, and Acke Almquis holds a hand to his mouth. "Ooooh!! It ist time for LAUNCH PIE, ya?!" And the crowd goes wild.
The reason is all too clear as the walls of the set start to peel away at various locations and massive, cartoon-ishly designed hands whip out, flinging a volley of cream pies across the room; delicious desserts fly every which way, threatening to impact all three fighters with their fattening goodness while Acke claps his hands together gleefully.
"Oooooh!! Is getting very the excite now!!" According to the cheers, the crowd agrees.
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Todoh with Pie Launcher.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
The floored, dazed but assuredly not stopped or even slowed Todoh grumbles as he rises from the cameras' points of interest to rub his aching forehead. Astute viewers will note how pale his forehead is under the headband. It's almost as though that's all he has worn over the last twenty or so years.
"What kind of advice is that anyway?" The elder of the two known terrible Todohs complains mostly to himself. To himself! What a difference, at least, right before pie flies! In the sky! And into Todoh's face head-on, falling off his head to a laughtrack. It doesn't matter if it's delicious banana creme pie underneath. He starts to creep towards the fight, with pie on his face.
"Kid, kid, wherever you are!" Wherever the kid is indeed, he has pie on his face and has no business knowing where it is he's going, "the best way to overcome all challengers and champions and chumps alike, ahem, if you will," and then he hefts that F above him with a clearly labored effort to make it into a bludgeon as he swings it down broad side first in a clumsy diagonal swing that turns into an even clumsier spin that would shame any of the heavier melee weapon enthusiasts in the fighting world, "is to put EGG ON THEIR FACE and your BOOT UP THEIR ASS!"
Sound advice, if he actually had room to talk. (He doesn't, it's full of pie.)
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Haru with Pie Launcher.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
It's a good thing Haru's no stranger to public indignity, because this just about takes the cake. Never mind that his attempt to actually do some damage to Billy is completely and totally stuffed with an attack that hit him so hard he felt his head would cave in. When he finally stumbles to his feet, he has just enough time to turn and frown at 'NOW IS TIME FOR PIE' when he gets a coconut creme pie smack between his differently-colored eyes. In deference to ideals of comic visual rhetoric, his right eye, the blue one, slowly blinks open, mysteriously surrounded by custard.
Bringing one hand up, Haru whips his arm across his face melodramatically, spraying the remnants of the pie off into the set somewhere. "Not here to win," he says, somewhat distracted. "Just to learn, and take home a paycheck. Seeing just how much I can get out of myself is still valuable information." Of course, this is also when Todoh decides to F Billy up some, or try anyway. An eyebrow twitches, also mysteriously visible through the pie. "Though what I'm learning otherwise, I'm not exactly sure yet."
COMBATSYS: Haru focuses on his next action.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Billy with Pie Launcher.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Todoh's Random Weapon.
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Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
Billy has blinders to any outside distraction; this has been an asset in locations with cheering fans, distracting yells, and other things that lesser fighters might pay attention to, creating minute openings that will allow a laughable assault to get through. He can hear, and pays attention to, the shifting sets. Todoh rushing him with a giant F gets his immediate attention, after all. But then there is a loud splat, as he's struck in the shoulder with one of the pies. "..." His eyes widen, body going tense, as he begins to scrub it off in a frantic manner. So much for ignoring all distractions. He lunges away, the F grazing him lightly, ignoring that as he surges forward to grab Todoh by the wrists and begin wrestling him. "Gimme the F!!" he snarls, trying to heft up his foot and then boot the old man away, right into a pile of frosting. In order to heft his trophy upwards, with FULL INTENT TO USE IT. But the seed of rage is planted within. The fun is disappearing... under the horror of setting stains.
COMBATSYS: Todoh endures Billy's Quick Throw!
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Todoh 0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
"No, you! I," Todoh stammers as he struggles to keep his footing after swinging that giant F, because man, it is F'in heavy. He gets grabbed by the wrists without much incident when his arms are down, "be," now he's just clearly grasping at straws to say something snappy before he gets kicked in the thigh, one hand grabbing for Billy's wrist to stay in the tug-o'-war and also keep in the fight, "are, de-- GAAAAH!"
Whatever jokes you can make about what letters are helping to sponsor this battle like Seasame Street would, with clenched teeth and sheer /desire/ in his eyes to win him that little piggie, he works up the strength of two Todohs, too much for existence to calculate (yeah, right), to uppercut Billy with the corner of the longer strip of the 'F' in his free hand. Or free-er hand, depending, to guide him into, what else, the very frosting he would have been doomed to.
"This F--" this is interrupted among loud cheering noises leaving only one angry name call at the end of it during the attempt, "Billy!"
At least taking a second or two and cleaning himself up has gotten most of the pie -- a possible hindrance in battle -- off Haru's face, but the sight he's greeted with isn't really that wonderful. The stage is littered with thrown pies, and his teammate and opponent appear to be fighting over... a giant letter F from the 'FIGHTYAT' logo. While this doesn't exactly dismay the Gedo senior, it certainly falls into the category of 'not what he expected from his first real battle'. But perhaps he can get in the spirit of things if he just uses his imagination...
Aha.
Leaping into action, he charges both fighters while flicking out his yoyo to the right... nowhere near either of them. "I'm borrowing this!" he shouts to nobody in particular, and instead of trying to snag Billy, he does in Rome what the Romans hath done: he grabs another letter from the logo -- the Y, obviously -- by snagging the yoyo around it... then turns and, unceremoniously, attempts to scourge Billy with it. Repeatedly. Shouting: "Y! Y! Y! Y! *Y*!!!!!" Because really, that's the burning question about this fight in the first place.
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Haru's Fierce Strike.
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Todoh 0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy fails to counter Bodyslam EX from Todoh with Random Weapon.
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Todoh 1/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Billy
Ah... this is rather bad. He had intended to battle Todoh on his own grounds, yet the passion of the man for this letter was underestimated. Hearing the splattering approach of Haru sloughing through the remnants of the latest prank, he all but visibly exclaims a !... ducking suddenly, and swishing through the twin tails of his bandana's knot. This makes it all but impossible to stop Todoh's rush; but he tries, twisting in an attempt to catch the old man's throat between the prongs of the F, and overpower him. Instead he is knocked clean onto his ass, grimacing more in shock then overt pain. Scrambling up, he then... hurls his staff aside, and tears off the ‘t' with a grunt. "Fine. You wanna play with the big boys?! I'll bury you in that F!!" He begins to twirl around the small ‘t' in an acrobatic fashion, and then holds it much like a sword.
Pain and vandalism abounds as the set of Fightyat! is rent asunder by the brutal machinations of the fighters. The crowd all gasps in unison once more. Some of them shout strange Dutch words that might be praise or condemnation. Some of them use their limited use of English to shout out phrases like "YOU ARE ROCKING!" or "SUCK YOU!" which could have any number of meanings. Acke adjusts his turtleneck -- things are getting intense. Which means--
A buzzer goes off the very second that Billy rips off that 't' from the Fightyat! sign, red lights flashing as if a siren were going off. "OOH NOOO! Mr. Kane has been very no-no bad! It may be the timing for..." Acke begins, and the crowd finishes for him:
"SLIMEYAT!!"
Billy really isn't given much time to consider what that means before it's explained for him. A panel in the ceiling above opens up, and from the container falls a literal gallon of green, thick ooze -- slime, if you will. Slimeyat, to be more precise, which will drench Billy in gooey goodness if he's not careful.
And it'll probably stain.
"HAHA yes, we are having the good time!"
A polite note for Haru that can be picked up by observation alone! Older men of considerable fighting proficiency often fight not with their finely honed skills from decades of training and perseverance. No, no, they pretty much wreck everything around them in the process and often like to use them in place of those techniques! Spur of the moment decisions trumping many years of practice. The fighting world is strange that way.
But enough on the education! Todoh falls to a kneel from the earlier kick to the thigh, sweat running down his brow while shouldering the incredible effort it took for someone like him to wield the 'F' with one hand. "Who're you calling boy?! Yeh hah hah... hah! Hah! Hah!"
And so, he raises the beloved 'F' again, he closest ally in this battle. "C'mon kid! Why don't you show him, you know... WHY!" Why what? How about why he's holding that 'F' above his head with such vigor (and perhaps vinegar with a side of piss), broad side facing Billy, before he evens his balance on his feet to swing it downward. The 'F' is so big and so impressive and so shiny, even when dislodged from any real electric source, that one may not notice the true source of its illumination!
"WHY I AM GREAT!" Oh, that's why, three fiercely summoned, bold fading cubes of, um, chi. One supposes. Does this not due the impassioned summoning of such great power justice as he halts the 'F' swing half-way for the actual chi to take over, the furthest chi segment elongated as though it were nearly molded into an F?!
F that, just enjoy the Kasane Ate spam. (You people out at home know you love it.)
The Y clatters to the ground, dislodged as Haru's yoyo snaps back into his palm and he stops, breathing heavily. It's as if the last few moments were on some very scary version of autopilot and, as someone who relies on data to fight, he naturally stops to take stock.
1.) Billy Kane is far too fast to hit, at Haru's level.
2.) Ryuhaku Todoh is clearly insane.
3.) slime oh why god
"I have to tell you," he mutters, bending forward a little into an offensive crouch as he observes Billy and Todoh going at it... *again*... "this fight is really spelling doom for any consideration I ever gave to being an exchange student." For a moment, he looks down at the yoyo in his hand, and frowns. It's not working, and far be it from Haru to stay with a tactic that's got a track record of failure. Time to shift gears. For a second, he says nothing; he even shuts his eyes. His lips move, as if he's saying something to someone, but there's no actual sound; you'd need to read lips to know what he's saying. It's obvious, though, that he's psyching himself up for something...
And then the something happens. Leaping forward, braving the slime spray and Todoh's wayward Kasane Ate, he drives forward at Billy and lashes out with one hand parallel to the ground. Extending from his hand is a very contained storm of shards of deep cobalt blue light, like knives made of sapphire, that attempt to pelt the former KoF champ over and over. It's too close to give him a range advantage, but perhaps the unexpected will help him connect.
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Starscream's SLIMEYAT.
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Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Haru successfully hits Billy with Amethyst Lucidity.
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Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Todoh's Fierce Kasane Ate.
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Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
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Haru 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
Oh, no. Billy hears a buzzer, and this time he just moves. Hurling himself away, as the slime spreads at the location he just was; it's fast and accurate, significantly moreso then Haru. Maybe prank dispensers should teach upcoming fighters tricks. Skidding thereafter, his fevered aversion to the goo has made him quite vulnerable. He slams upon his side, allowing the flying F to surge overhead. But he can't really do much but try to block the pelting shards with a hefted 't'. It fails, pretty much. He's riddled thoroughly, rolling away with a yelp of pain before getting back to his feet. This is dangerous... very dangerous... if he doesn't do something soon, his clothing is going to get ruined. "Alright... I'm gonna remove one of you from the fight RIGHT NOW..." He then begins to spiral his 't' madly, surging with heat that billows out; nearby slime and banana cream literally boiling and hissing, as the air displaces with the conduited energy. "Haaa...!!" He's PUMPING UP.
COMBATSYS: Billy gathers his will.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Haru 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Billy
Todoh lets the F drop into the pouring slime after all is said and done, exhaling at the grit needed to heft that thing. It has expended its use and entertainment value alike as Billy runs back and gives a promise that one of them, yes one of them, will be removed from this fight /right now/.
Todoh gives this promise careful thought with a hand to his chin. Hmm. There's that kid with that kinda blue hair. Hmm.
So he comes up to Haru, hiking up his skirt to step past the slime he would rather not get on his trousers but yet doesn't mind getting his socks all slimed up, and stops behind him. "Well, kid! You came this far, haven't you? 'Course you did! So why don't you take the blessings of ol' Ryuhaku Todoh and go beat his face in for your parents or something?"
Aww, how touching(?). He gives Haru a good slap in the back if he bothers to stay near him.
COMBATSYS: Todoh assists Haru.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////// ]
Haru 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Billy
Said slap ALMOST makes Haru pitch forward onto the floor, considering he's not exactly well built and, more to the point, is a little surprised that his attack worked at all... though in this instance 'was able to be pulled off' is about as valid as 'was able to connect with' in this case. Turning for a moment to his teammate, he says with as much civility as he can muster, "I'm... not big on unnecessary touching." It's about the best he can do in terms of putting it politely, since launching into Brak's 'Don't Touch Me!' song from Cartoon Planet might be appropriate for the *venue*, but not for Haru's personality. He's more of a Zorak man, anyway.
There's a second as Haru turns back to Billy, the former champ making both a daring pronouncement and a showy burst of power. Trying his best to keep calm, the Gedo student takes some deep breaths, then throws out one hand, yoyo in palm... and then the opposite hand, with a second yoyo. "Alright... I didn't really want to use this technique this early, but I guess I've got to do something approaching an actual offensive effort." It's not that he doesn't LIKE Todoh, he just finds the strange old man confusing.
There's a moment while Haru braces himself against the floor... and then, shouting, he hurls both yoyos forward in wide loops at Billy, as fast as he can possibly do it. The two 'toys' become a blur of gunmetal grey and black as Haru attempts to simply pummel Billy with them, over and over and over again. He's clearly putting his heart into it, 'assistance' or no... because he's got to make this count...
COMBATSYS: Billy overcomes Ruby Passion from Haru with Blazing Whirlwind Cane.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
"Oho..." Billy comments, observing the incoming assault with distant interest. "Not bad... I suppose I'd try the flashy method..." Instead he begins to whirl the 't' around, summoning a somewhat small weaving ball of fire. ...damnit, he can channel chi so much better with his staff. The pelting yoyos hit this instead, before he then /hurls/ the letter, which impacts the center of the mass; and sends a flaming T spiraling head over heels, parting the last of Haru's attack like water and trying to slam into him, a streak of blackened food product trailing beneath. Thereafter, he pulls out a new bostaff, assembling it with a snap of the wrist. The letter part of the fight? Over. But now... the second round begins!!
An audible sigh overtakes the crowd as Billy skirts past the gushing onrush of slime. Acke Almquis looks most distraught, scratching his mustache in concern. But the fight must go on, and so it does with brutal efficiency!! Todoh theoretically thrusts Haru out to his demise selflessly, and Haru thrusts himself out to his potential demise without pulling any stops -- and the crowd goes wild as Billy's whirlwind of flames clashes with Haru's assault. The blaze of flames continue onward after engulfing its competition...
And that's when alarms go off again.
*BEEE-OOOOWWW BEE-OOOWWWW BEEEE-OOWWWW* goes the sudden screech of the buzzer as two catapults adjacent to the audience seating light up with delightfully colorful flashing LED displays. Acke's hands slap together. "Ah yes!!! You ready for tomato?!" The audience cries out 'TOMATO!!!' enthusiastically, as the catapults' lights flash with disorienting brilliance. They SNAP forward with a sudden, campy *SPROOOIIING* sound effect. Both fling out a full onslaught... of rotten tomatoes. Rotten tomatoes that fly through the air to bombard Todoh, Haru and Billy in a sudden assault of bad taste and even worse smells. At least the crowds look excited.
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Todoh with Rotten Tomato Fling!.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Billy
But is Todoh idle while Haru is thrown against what would be certain death versus a vastly superior foe?! Well... no. Unlike the amateurs here at Fightyat, Howard Arena officials have started to wise up over the stupid things Todoh gets away with when he's pretty sure nobody is watching him very closely. He has a very keen sense of knowing where cameras are looking. There is a good reason why, to this day, he has never paid for a single admission ticket to the much beloved and closely guarded Howard Arena.
But you can not fool a tomato.
Ryuhaku takes off a short ways after Haru with a keen sense of timing in his mind - the poor boy, threatened by an elite assault, to be saved at the nick of time from an old trick he hasn't used since Ryo proved such a tactic to not usually work out in his favor, heedless of the sirens or promise of further humiliation!
"YAH!" Todoh's voice is loud and clear as he bounces up against a wall in one bound, outstretching a foot as he kicks off to, what else, jump kick Billy. "DAH!"
Then rotten tomatoes fly at him from the catapults, and a good number of them rain Todoh with such velocity and force that proves not entirely harmless as he twists about in the air from his disrupted posture, a gagging noise from one of those tomatoes ending up in his big mouth. Yuck. Rotten tomatoes taste rotten.
End result, AWESOME MARTIAL ARTS KICK turns into OLD MAN OUTSTRETCHED FLOP. But in the heat of the moment, the difference between the two is very slight, ambiguous, and only able to be discerned by a true master indeed.
COMBATSYS: Billy successfully hits Haru with Blazing Whirlwind Cane.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Haru dodges Starscream's Rotten Tomato Fling!.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|-------\-------\0 Billy
There is no need for gory details, but everything goes at 10x speed, so this may take a little recapping:
For starters, Haru isn't a complete fool and he knows without his weapons he's basically screwed, so he thankfully yanks back his yoyos *quickly* once he realizes that Billy's powering through his technique is inevitable. However, in doing so he also loses precious time he needs to think up a defense against the storm of fire coming his way, and those extra seconds are very, very necessary; Haru's attempt to throw his arms up and block is a total disaster, and the wheel of flame slams into him like a mack truck.
However, there is a slight bonus here. Haru is fairly light and that attack hit very, very hard... so hard, in fact, that Haru goes flying through the air at the wall, landing against it with a very LOUD crack-smash noise and then slumping to the floor... while rotten tomatoes scatter around the other fighters, Haru just kind of lies there for a moment before eventually yanking himself to his feet, groaning and holding his gloved hands to his slightly singed face. "That... was unpleasant," he murmurs, taking the time to pull himself back together, mentally and physically.
COMBATSYS: Haru gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Billy with Rotten Tomato Fling!.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy fails to counter Strong Kick from Todoh with Fire Dragon Pursuit Cane.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 1/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Billy
A few tomatoes impact Billy. He reaches down and grasps some, looking at the crimson fluid with eyes widened as if it were blood instead of awful smelling ichor. He begins to tremble, and rage flows through him. So much so that his capability to predict is completely gone, and he just wants to hurt someone. Todoh is nearby, but manages to escape such with the power of martial arts passion, foot slipping past the staff and slamming him in the face. Billy crashes backwards, getting even more of the tomato on him. He just remains upon all fours, panting heavily, white knuckled grasp upon his bo staff. It's... too late. There's nothing more he can do. His clothes...
Are ruined.
"HRRRRRAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!" is roared to the heavens, pain and anger lacing his loud tons, fists thrust upwards with staff clenched between both. He then begins to slam his weapon into the ground, again and again, creating a startlingly deep dent in the stage. Shadow washes over the contours of his face, eyes shining crimson for a split second as he looks at Haru and Todoh. "..." Slowly, like some zombie, Billy rises to his feet, stance loose and intention...
Murderous.
It's not a most pleasant landing for Todoh either, his MIGHTY MARTIAL ARTS KICK disrupted from rotten tomatoes and landing rather roughly against his hip. His old man hip is not brittle. But it is enough to give Billy space. Just enough space to deliver anger, angst, rage, and disgust for just how ruined his clothes are.
It's when the stage starts getting slammed over and over, multiple times, that people should be running away as far, far from the rage of the King of Fighters. But Ryuhaku Todoh, rising as he does, rises as though unfazed by being pelted by tomatoes. Even with the rotten taste of expired produce in his mouth, Todoh's posture is... disconcerting, maybe.
Back on his feet, Todoh's arms go up once more, summoning... what, more of that chi that Billy is familiar with? Maybe. It might be better to define what happens from here with just the one response no fool should ever tell Billy Kane.
"QUIT CRYING, BOY!" This substitutes the proper kiai as his arms swing downward. No chi? Oh wait, the blue-ish chi blades that look a lot more like Kasumi's suddenly rise from the ground, fanning out in a conic shape with the chi blades growing taller the further it fans out, the elder Todoh simply leaning into it with a frown on his face as though /he/ were the one to suffer a great offense by Billy yelling so loudly.
Old men are strange that way.
Taking a break as he had, Billy's sudden change in demeanor doesn't go unnoticed by Haru. To say that he is unwilling to get in close with the King of Fighters at this point is an understatement; he might not be the best at reading people, but if Todoh is willing to take the hit for him Haru is more than happy to let him do it. As it is, the Gedo student stands back warily, one yoyo gripped in his palm. He's watching, waiting... and also breathing heavily, not noticing a line of red across the side of his head that could be tomato, or something less savory (pun unintended). "Not sure if that's wise, but better you than me," he says grimly of Todoh's assault.
The truth is that he's afraid, and likely because he's never had to fight anyone on Billy's scale before. The most a Gedo student might do is beat him up, take his stuff, wedgie him. Daigo doesn't let them do anything more serious... well, not a lot more serious. Billy really does look and act like he could kill someone and *not care*, and the fighting circuit newbie is suddenly wondering if it was such a great idea to do this after all... and any observer trained in fighting can tell. The jerky stance, the inordinate amount of sweat on his brow...
COMBATSYS: Haru focuses on his next action.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy blocks Todoh's Cho Kasane Ate.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
All of that malice and desire for vengeance now focuses directly upon Todoh, although the insult doesn't seem to make anything better or worse. His forearms cross, bracing himself as the flash of energy rushes past him, yet dissipates beneath some unseen wall; his own heated fury offsetting it a fair amount. Haru is completely ignored at the moment, rushing forward before shooting out the end of his staff... trying to catch Todoh by the throat before hefting him in a broad arc overhead, to slam his head into a spotlight before crashing him into the ground. It's time to finish this!!
COMBATSYS: Todoh dodges Billy's Fishhook Throw.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Haru 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Billy
"Hmph!" An ambiguous grunt of mysterious mood indication sounds from Ryuhaku, arms pointed forward in about the most serious Haru may have seen him hold himself tonight. This will not last very long. But sometimes, a man just wants a pig. He wants that pig so much it becomes impossible to hide just how much he really, really wants that pig.
The staff misses largely from the old man crouching at an opportune time, throwing his lower body forward with just enough momentum that he tries to go inside of Billy's defenses and plant a raised foot somewhere against his breadbasket. Competent martial arts without any scathing commentary?!
In transit, he shoots a glance up. "WHAT'RE YOU SITTING THERE FOR?!" Oh well.
"Because I'm not a fool who rushes in toward an angry opponent," Haru says mildly, without too much obvious rancor. It's not that he dislikes Todoh; he really has no way to form an opinion of him one way or the other. He just finds Ryuhaku's sense of strategy... a little lacking. Of course, there may be a perfectly valid reason why he's going at it like a crazy man against someone who looks like he's about to explode any second. "That said, I can't stay out of this forever..." Hoping that Todoh will give him at least some degree of either cover or distraction, the Gedo student rushes in from a complementary angle to Todoh's attack, suddenly lashing out with one yoyo toward Billy's stomach. If it hits, the blow doesn't aim to hit him backwards, but *up*... and is followed by a series of alternating blows with a yoyo from each hand, the final blow being both of them swung simultaneously to bat Billy away.
COMBATSYS: Haru successfully hits Billy with Garnet Intensity.
- Power hit! -
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|====---\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy counters Sweeping Kick from Todoh with Water Dragon Pursuit Cane.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/----===|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|====---\-------\0 Billy
The blow strikes Billy dead in the stomach; and his eyes shift, to take Haru in. He manages to spread his stance, remaining upon his feet while enduring the lashing blows -- in order to thrust out his staff downwards, catching the foot and then twisting into a vicious single-segment strike across the face with just a trace of laugh, somewhat manic, to floor the old man. He's beginning to think a little more clearly, realizing what he has to do in order to win. The pig... Todoh wants that pig more then anything... that will make it more simple. HE WILL TRIUMPH, TO DENY TODOH ALL THAT HE WANTS!!
Gripping action!! Intense twists!! The host of Fightyat! looks gripped with suspense as he watches the fight, a sentiment echoed in all his audience. His mustache practically bristles with anticipation with what may happen next!! And what happens next... is truly brutal. Billy staffs Todoh full of staff, even as Haru knocks him silly. Acke Almquis, runs his hand through his greasy black hair, before something dawns upon him. He lifts his right hand high into the air--
"Is... HAMMER TIMER!!"
And then SLAPS a hand upon a large red button nearby reading 'HAMMER TIME.' With the sound of a gong being struck, another panel from a wall nearby Billy opens up, and down swings a GIANT HAMMER!! ... fortunately made of completely harmless NERF material, to strike Billy solidly -- but harmlessly -- on the head. If it should hit? Tacky *BWOOOoooOOOOoooOOOng!!* sound effects will ensue, even as the announcer suddenly pipes up.
"This episode of Fightyat! is brought to you by... NERF!! The fun-for-the-whole family extreme fight toys all your kids will love!!! It's NERF or nothin'!!"
*BWONG!!*
Todoh slides with a foot in, and the staff slides in with its own kick. To the face. The oldest one among the fighters here contorts his face into an exaggerated gape, skin on his cheek persuaded to being shoved in a lump as blood flies out of his face, and probably some words for Haru about him mouthing back to Todoh (by Ryuhaku's perception, pretty much everyone does even if they're agreeing with him, it is the right of cantankerous old men).
In fact, the hit is so solid that he slides across the floor of the set with the illusion of so little friction as to be somehow sliding backwards until he hits a wall with a soft impact, lowering his head as he shakily leans up against the wall to get up. "Yeh... hah hah hah! Well then, how about we... we..."
His eyes narrow. A fist clenches so tightly the bones might break just trying to bend that far. Then it all just goes to hell, Todoh yelling like a bloody moron and not the fairly decent martial artist he sometimes appears to be, dashing towards Billy through the rotten tomatoes and the slimy gunk to bring his other hand up for Billy's throat. The other fist is drawn back as he makes the attempt.
Because sometimes, beyond any elegance or tactics, choking a bitch and feeding your pimp hand into them proves juuuuust as effective a tactic. (lies)
"I hope this show is cancelled, forever," Haru says placidly as he brings his weapons back to his hands. Does he mean Fightyat!, SNF, or both? It was a lucky shot, a good shot... and Billy weathered it like he didn't even feel a thing. Not encouraging for longterm combat, but certainly better than not connecting at all. Still, he has momentum he needs to capitalize on... and the NERF hammer gives him an opening to do so. Leaping upwards and hopefully over Billy's reach, he aims a second yoyo grab like before for Billy's throat or arms, hoping to pin them tight and give Todoh the opening he needs to do... whatever the hell it is he's doing. Haru will think about landing, and/or not getting smacked by the Nerf hammer, later.
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Billy with Harmless NERF Hammer.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|====---\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Todoh's Strangling FACEPUNCH.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Haru 1/------=/=======|====---\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy counters Medium Throw from Haru with Random Weapon.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////// ]
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|-------\-------\0 Starscream
[ < > ////////////// ]
Haru 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Billy
Oh, that was the last straw for Billy. The huge hammer falls down and whacks him in the head, and like that the straw just broke the camel's back. He twists around, gripping the shaft and /tearing/ it in half, now wielding a gargantuan hammer. "HRRRRRRAUGH!" is repeated, lacking any of his dwindling composure as he skips backwards from the attempted grapple from Todoh. And then he swings it double-handed, slamming into Haru dead on. *BWOOOOooooOOOOooong!*
But Billy doesn't stop. He contines relentlessly pounding the poor Gedo youth, letting out a savage cry as the sound echoes, trying to imprint itself upon his very nightmares, body taut with sweat from the exertion.
*BWWWWWoooooOOOOOOOOOOong! BwooOOOOOOOOOooong! BwOOOOOOOOng!! Bwooo... ooOOo... nnn...*
He literally broke the NERF hammer beating it on Haru, the end disheveled and malformed, whatever caused the effect shattered. Well, it'll show just how harmless it is.
The dislodged nerf hammer is beyond the notice of Todoh! The adoration of the cheering crowd, perceived or otherwise (notably otherwise), he's at the level. But he wants to save up the cheers for the children he shall corrup-- I mean, introduce, into the great martial arts world of his family art through the centerpiece of his petting zoo to be!
Why did this idea ever leave the drawing board?
With so much forward movement, he narrowly avoids falling flat on his face when Billy deftly avoids the initial grab. And it would appear that Haru would be the one to take the fall for all of Todoh's blustering and posturing and name calling, but let's be honest, he probably intended to.
This does not halt his approach while Billy works on beating poor Haru into a bloody pulp with the off chance of ending his prize fighting career. No, for Ryuhaku Todoh has the audacity that often only the youngest of fools with no idea about the idea of 'consequences' would pull.
He kicks his left foot out for one of Billy's shins. "Harrumph!"
There is one minor flaw in Billy's plan.
The beatdown is indeed merciless; in fact, the Gedo youth's constitution is nowhere near able to take that kind of punishment, and even with a fighter's resilience he's looking at a hospital stay for sure after this. But the body doesn't land far enough away, and Haru's first professional fighting experience has been altogether negative. Useless and outclassed, paired with a screaming lunatic, food and god knows what else thrown at him, suffice it to say that even his minimal expectations were completely shattered. Billy's rage and inarticulate screaming aren't helping either.
He barely has the energy to stand, so at least the former KoF champ has plenty of time to get out of the way... but as Haru, covered in blood, pie remnants, and god knows what else rises to his feet, glitters of deep cobalt blue are flickering around his body, describing a circle that eventually becomes an orb-like sphere of deep blue around his whole body.
His voice, once he opens his mouth, is thick with injury yet somehow echoes: "Get... away... from... ME..."
The orb shatters into innumerable shards of blue, like a million knives of pure sapphire, each one intending to spear through Billy's body with merciless fury. However, that is far and away Haru's last gasp; before the shards even vanish he is on the ground, thoroughly unconscious.
COMBATSYS: Haru can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Haru's Quiescent Diamond.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Billy dodges Todoh's Light Kick.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
Well, that part of Haru's demand was done; The ruined hammer is discarded as Billy lunges away, skidding to a stop just shy of the chi onslaught. This has the handy secondary effect that Todoh instead kicks a pie. Nothing special comes of it, really, but it had somehow survived intact until this point. Mayhaps he has supernatural perception and wished to spread the seed of carnage. Once more he swirls with heat, hefting up his staff and grinning. "You've no chance of winning, old man..." And then he leans back, the crazy lights casting him into a demonic visage, spreading his arms amidst the heat of his hellish aura. "When I win that pig... I'll EAT IT."
COMBATSYS: Billy gathers his will.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
"I... ... uh..." The announcer pauses mid-NERF advertisement as Billy begins to ruthlessly beat Haru into submission with the hammer.
"... Warning!! NERF's harmless, safe fun for the kids is not a 100% guarantee! ..."
Acke Almquis is forced to look on in mild shock as Billy beats Haru into a pulp and then goes on to proclaim he is going to EAT THE POT-BELLIED PIG. Mouth agape, he looks left. He looks right. And then, slowly, the audience begins to chant:
"Slimeyat... Slimeyat... Slimeyat... SLIMEYAT!!"
"... Ah, err, yes! Slimeyat times!! For every bodies, ya!!" Snapping back to reality, Acke adjusts his turtleneck once more. From there... more panels in the ceiling open. In fact, -every- panel opens, releasing a practical DELUGE of slime falling from the ceiling like some sort of horrific, gooey rainstorm that covers nearly the entire set, much to the joy of the audience, who all proudly cry:
"SLIMEYAT!!!"
It's a time-honored tradition.
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Todoh with SLIMEYAT.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
Boy, isn't Billy rather on the ball today. With that poor kid out of the picture, it's now down to Billy Kane and Ryuhaku Todoh. Billy Kane is called the King of Fighters. Ryuhaku Todoh... well, that name speaks for itself.
"No chance?! Yeh hah hah! Hah! Hah!" So he laughs before the gathering heat, the signature tell-tale of imminent doom for those so many that are beneath Billy's level of skill! A man of humor, even in the face of sure-fire defeat?! Sweat gives Ryuhaku's hair a perfect pass for the set of a shampoo commercial. Blood trickling down his mouth will attract the attention of prospective overpriced dentists. Idiocy oozing out of him... well, that goes without saying.
The slime descends upon the stage just as Todoh takes to the air off his less injured leg, arms reaching for the sky as the SLIMEYAT apocalypse happens. The disgusting but harmless material splashes off the old man's back into a beautiful lotus shape for that split second before it all becomes muck on the floor. The forward movement is maintained, a narrow horizontal strip of space above Billy fanning out the slime outwards under the protective umbrella of three segments of chi that, for some reason that will no doubt amuse, becomes splashed in slime itself. So it's really three slime-encrusted chisicles that descend upon Billy with the thunderous kiai of one determined Ryuhaku Todoh, even in the face of exhaustion.
He will have that pig.
COMBATSYS: Starscream successfully hits Billy with SLIMEYAT.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Billy blocks Todoh's Kasane Ate.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|=======\-------\0 Billy
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Todoh 0/-------/----===|
The slime gouts over Billy, slipping into places that has not felt the touch of goo for ages. If ever. Only his wild eyes and peeks of color are seen through the slime, and he reacts by slashing out his staff, dissipating the Kusane Ate into flickering motes of energy. "...!!" He's beyond words, as he rears back his arm and then shoots it forward, staff held at the very end. It suddenly breaks apart into three pieces, chain whistling between as he tries to slam it into Todoh, just before he hits the ground... and burst into flames, to drive him into a wall with vicious force before retracting as he laughs madly, sauntering forward with the green bile dripping off him. This is the final round!! Nothing but a savage, pig fueled brawl! As well it should be.
COMBATSYS: Billy successfully hits Todoh with Blazing Cane Thrust.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Starscream 0/-------/-------|=======\==-----\1 Billy
[ \\\\ <
Todoh 1/------=/=======|
Todoh leaps into the face of danger with the intent to get out a sharpie and give it a funny face. Billy enforces that danger does not need a curly black moustache today when his staff breaks into three pieces. It is three segments of chi versus three segments of staff and chain, and between the two, the chain seems to win out by hitting the already airborne Ryuhaku in the chest with such an explosive force that it sends him flying with only a gasp and the promise of more ratings for Fightyat!
In fact, he hits that oft-desecrated sign that is now just a random collection of large letters begging to be ripped off, collapsing on an 'a' and hitting the slime, face-first. So humbling...
A hand rises up from the muck, grasping the 'a' so very tightly. Todoh's face shoots up, his expression hidden under a thin layer of slime that not even a furrowed brow could overcome. He takes the 'a' in both hands and simply dashes forward to Billy, not missing a beat from the very fact that this entire floor is now a slipping hazard and will continue to be until someone mops this place up like thrice.
"THE WAY OF TODOH NEVER LOSES! Sometimes, sometiiiiiimes... it takes pity on you!" That's right, keep telling yourself that, Ryuhaku. Bludgeoned, beaten, battered, none of this matters in the face of the ultimate prize - the pot-bellied pig.
And once he is within striking distance of Billy, he lifts the 'a' up, ready to strike a risky blow that by absolutely no chance of fate should ever strike against someone so capable of reacting to oncoming attack that they deftly move themselves out of the way.
But then he removes one hand from his newfound weapon and just tries to palm Billy in the nose instead, without rhyme or reason for such a dramatic change of already dramatically appropriate tactic.
COMBATSYS: Billy interrupts Jab Punch from Todoh with Red Lotus Requiem.
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Starscream 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Billy
[ <
Todoh 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|
The feint would of mattered, if Billy had been paying even the slightest attention to his method of attack. Instead he spreads his stance, already twirling his staff in one hand during the descent, eyes wild as he charges forward with a snarl, feet slipping across some thoroughly whipped cream. And then sweeps it upwards, impacting Todoh dead on, his palm crashing into his face in the same moment. For a split second, they are deadlocked.
"That pig..." is grunted out, muffled by old man slimy fingers.
Before he unleashes a vicious uppercut, using every ounce of force and stance as it spirals madly in a rotor blade. "IS MINE!!" His staff then erupts into fire, sending spotlights and strobe lights raining across the shattered stage, popping into broken glass and electrical hisses of sparks. Billy falls thereafter, landing heavily before slipping and falling right on his ass, painting his formerly green exterior. He's panting heavily, ignoring the acrid smell.
He's... won...!!
This is going to be an image that will be replayed on Saturday Night Fights for a good long time to come. A light palm against an uppercut that makes such a loud, deafening crack that anybody and everybody would be safe to assume that this is a blow that might have snapped the old man's neck in half. It doesn't sound like anything less than something that could hospitalize someone for life. To say nothing about the fire and the explosive destruction of the stage itself.
Todoh doesn't even leave the ground, the blow so fierce that his body recoils as though it were completely invalid in resisting the blow. But just as he falls to his side, his arms stretch out in a most surprising way given that he does that very gesture a lot. But not from this angle. A long line of chi, perhaps the only way to put it, is obscured by the destruction and the slime and the pie fillings that those from the audience can't really tell what will happen. It's not even eye level, it'd be sweeping for Billy right on the ground.
What color is it? The chi segments are connected as ever, but remain hidden from debris and the wave of slime and pie goodness that joins the horizontal wave that is completely and utterly perpendicular to how anything Todoh throws should be moving. It does so right at the point of impact against the ground, where the almost certifiably gravely injured Ryuhaku Todoh looks as though he's trying to grab at a knee that clearly wasn't hit but comes up short before he just falls unconscious.
He has that childish thought of 'if I can't have it, nobody can' run through him, and this - the sweeping wave of chi of a vague color - is coming at Billy like a midget tsunami while he's on his bum. Don't you wish you weren't on your bum? You lazy bum.
COMBATSYS: Todoh can no longer fight.
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Starscream 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Billy
COMBATSYS: Billy fails to slow Meiou Ken from Todoh with Large Thrown Object.
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Starscream 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Billy can no longer fight.
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Starscream 0/-------/-------|
Billy manages to roll over, debris obscured eyes squinting towards what he hopes is the ruined form of Todoh. And then realizes, stiffening up, the surge of chi rushing at him instead. He attempts to stand, but his foot slides beneath him. His staff is in an awkward position, unable to be brought to bear with any sufficient chi to bolster him. Through the corner of his eye, he sees his salvation.
The F.
He grasps it, and in a savage burst of energy, lets loose the phrase alluded to the entire fight. "F*** YOU!!" But his desperation marks his own undoing, as he's instead plowed and blown backwards, knocking a camera over as his staff clatters away. Slowly he rolls, pushing himself to his feet. Legs spread for balance, limp upper body lolling about limply.
And then a red boxing glove on a long spring shoots out of the floor, and smacks him right beneath the chin. His tentative struggle with consciousness is lost, concentration shattered, as he lands limbs askew on the ground.
When he wakes, he is burning this place to the ground.
//EPILOGUE\
Acke Almquis stands amidst the prone forms of the fighters, stroking his chin in deep thought. He looks to Todoh, then to Haru, then to Billy. And then...
"POT BELLY PIGS FOR ONE OF EVERYS!!!"
Acke throws his hands into the air, the crowds roar. Seizure-inducing light displays begin again, as FiGhTyAt!'s campy theme begins once more.
"And every bodies get one free jar of SLIMEYAT!!"
"SLIMEYAT! It's the slime that keeps on sliming!
"WARNING: Slimeyat is not for everyone. Please consult your doctor if you develop hives when in contact with Slimeyat.
"And thanks for watching... FIGHTYAT!! (And Saturday Night Fight!!)"
COMBATSYS: Starscream has ended the fight here.
Log created on 21:22:30 03/09/2008 by Haru, and last modified on 18:09:12 03/10/2008.