Description: Two people who would never in their life be caught playing Dance Dance Revolution are told not only to do so, but also to fight while doing so. If you can't figure out what happens to the DDR machines by the end of the fight, you should probably reread the title again. (Draw Match)
Male high schoolers. Aren't they supposed to be video game geniuses, locked in their bedrooms playing Halo 3 with fast fingers and laser-precise hand eye coordiation? Yeah... that's the stereotype anyway. The truth is, however, that Batsu Ichimonji -- who fits the demographic of the typical gamer pretty well -- can't play them worth a damn. Which isn't to say he hates them; in fact, he actually really digs fighting games, as one might assume. But in terms of actually pulling them off, he's somehow a little maladroit. It probably has something to do with devoting all that energy to learning how to, say, kick through someone's face.
As it is now, though, Batsu's having fun with some schoolkids from Metro that are at the arcade before the match starts. He's playing the latest version of Neo League vs SNF and just lost to a 15-year-old who's an expert with Aislinn, apparently. Grousing, he fehs and turns away from the machine. "Man, that Frei guy sucks. He's all projectiles and that spinny motion I can't do without jumping."
<phil ken seben> Haha...! Meta. </phil ken seben>
After talking with the kids for a bit, though, he gets the news from the SNF coordinator that the fight's about ready to start, and after giving the kids a goodbye (he even gets a dap out of it, 'cause Batsu is so fucking street) he trundles over to the massive area they set up on the first floor, and just stares. It's like Dance Dance Revolution and the Beanstalk, with massive pads and a 'TV wall' instead of a screen for each pad. Gingerly stepping on to one, he furrows his brow. "Oh man, what the hell is this..."
Bison stomps into the arcade, immediately offended by the loud noises and flashing lights. Not that he's a man of peace and quiet--far from it--but man, this is just offensively raucous and the KIDS... at least most of them are getting out of the way of the boxer. It's hard not to notice him; he's stamping an' stomping, and he looks pretty pissed off. "Goddamn first one on one fight and it's got some DUMB SHIT THING GOING ON!" he roars, as he stomps up to the 'DDR machine'.
The big black man glares at the SNF officials gathered there, and it is a glare that makes clear that he is NOT HAPPY about this. "My opponent better be fuckin' balls or I'm gonna come after YOU next," he growls, pointing at a random SNF official who is about as thin as a rail. That said, he surveys them all, then steps onto the mats. What is this shit.
Turning towards the officials, he glares at them again, standing on his own left arrow, which dutifully lights up. Then he turns and -looks- at Batsu. "Bitch, I ain't here to play games, you got me? I don't care what those shits said, I'm here to fight. So you better understand, you got me? I ain't playin' this goddamn game."
Ghh. He wants to hit something NOW. Turning towards the faithful reproduction of the machine, he walks over to the steel 'support bar' that lines the 'back' of the machine... and starts punching it, bareknuckle, leaving some dents in the thing as the officials hiss, "Goddamn, quick, -start the show-!" The machine goes through its startup rigamarole while the announcer quickly shouts for the fight to start and Bison stomps back to his place, glaring at Batsu now, his nose flaring.
Basically just like the bull he's named after.
COMBATSYS: M.Bison has started a fight here.
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M.Bison 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Batsu has joined the fight here.
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Batsu 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 M.Bison
COMBATSYS: M.Bison gathers his will.
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Batsu 0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0 M.Bison
Batsu was just about to ask an SNF person how this ridiculousness all works when Bison effectively... explodes behind him, the Taiyo fighter's eyebrows going up at not only the complete vehemence against the gimmick but also his really... offensive use of language. Not that Batsu himself is known to be Mr. Clean or anything like that but he's always had a soft spot for not subjecting kids to that sort of stuff. It's a shame, 'cause it means the Burning Fighter is *already* not going to be predisposed to this guy. But at least the SNF producers will get exactly what they asked for as a result: lots of violence.
"Oi..." Batsu calls, turning around as he gets into place and rolling one shoulder in its join. "Trash talk is fine, but you gotta use that sort of talkin' around kids? It's just a TV show, man." Cracking his knuckles, he tilts his head a little. "Think of it as, like... good footwork practice. S'a boxing thing, right? Need to be quick on the feet..."
Then the music starts. Chirpy, chirpy pop music. 'One two three four oh oh seven, all the rest can... go away!'
And predictably, Batsu has... trouble. He misses the first couple steps, even on an *easy* song, and starts getting some boos. "Che!" he grunts, and then gets the next few before he realizes Bison isn't attacking... or rather, isn't attacking him. And believe it or not, he's actually making a few of the steps. Why? Because he just planted both feet and then, completely in defiance of strategy, swings one leg high overhead and then looks to just slam it down onto Bison's head and shoulders, *hard*. He considers it telegraphing to make a point. Bison might not feel the same way. "You wanna fight, let's FIGHT THEN! GRAGH!"
COMBATSYS: M.Bison Toughs Out Batsu's Strong Kick!
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Batsu 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 M.Bison
Yeah, SNF gets kudos for thinking up cute setups for their fights. It's really too bad that Bison is prone to ignoring the hell out of them in favor of pure violence. The boxer sneers as Batsu starts dancing to this prissy-ass song that is goddammit NOW GOING TO BE STUCK IN HIS HEAD, and then in comes Batsu with that heel drop kick.
It's like egg drop soup, only pain, as Batsu's heel -cracks- into Bison's head. A solid strike, enough to down a Great Dane if not an elephant, and yet... Bison doesn't move until just after the heel impacts.
o/~ Tell me do you know 'bout the seven the seven, tell me do you know 'bout the seven jump? o/~
Then Bison sneers. He surges forward a step, taking advantage of recovery time; his goal is to get his big hands on Batsu's shoulders. If he can, he'll lift the kid up about a foot--and then start headbutting once, twice, three times, maybe four or five, before he tosses him backwards back to his pad.
"C'MON!!" he roars, spittle flying. Really, can you ask for a more picturesque brawling bad guy than Bison?
COMBATSYS: Batsu endures M.Bison's Head Bomber.
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Batsu 0/-------/----===|=======\-------\1 M.Bison
Whoa, dude. He just took that kick to the face. Batsu's eyes widen, and he is indeed pretty impressed. Which he doesn't really have time to actually express, since the big bald boxer is already looking to dish out pain... and in such close quarters, what the hell can Batsu do about it? He's grabbed, each note of 'Seven Jump' punctuated, probably accidentally, by a headbutt to Batsu's own thick skull. The issue is that toss away... Bison hits like a freight train, but when it comes to having an impenetrably thick skull, you can't beat Imawano ninjas (well, you can, it just doesn't help). As he's sailing toward his own pad, Batsu's not dazed... he's aware. And if you look close, his hands are glowing blue, too...
'Gimmie 1... on the 2... step 3... this is your 4! Take 5... move 6! And make it seeee-eeeeven!' Completely out of the beat, Batsu lands with legs spread apart, and that blue glow around his hands is getting really, really bright now. Considering he was just not in contact with the pad for a while, the game is already saying 'Oh man, are you sure you're not asleep?!'
The timing is awfully bad.
Bellowing "SHUT UP!" at the machine, Batsu turns to Bison and grins. Normally getting this attack off would take more time, but walking into the boxer's attack -- even if it was by accident -- gave him JUST enough time to make this to his advantage. "Not bad! This might actually be fun!" Throwing both arms forward, the gathered power suddenly leaps from Batsu toward Bison as a massive screaming bullet of cerulean blue. "ZENKAI! KIAI DAN!"
COMBATSYS: Batsu successfully hits M.Bison with Maximum Guts Bullet.
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Batsu 0/-------/-------|=======\===----\1 M.Bison
UGH!! Bison lunges forward, even as Batsu's gathering power, heedless of that glow... he doesn't give a good goddamn about that chi--he's going to reach past it, he's going to blow Batsu's face off with his FISTS--
...and then it impacts. Bison actually resists it at first, for one half-step, and then the energy overwhelms him and he's flung backwards, skidding across the oversized DDR pad that's 'his side'.
And he doesn't seem to give a damn. Almost immediately he's up, his chocolate brown skin steaming with residual energy. "Not bad, bitch... not bad..." And then he lunges again, making up the distance as best as he can, slamming a fist out for Batsu's chin in a right cross. He is bound and determined to destroy Batsu now, extremely determined. The goddamn machine is ignored now, even with that goddamn monkey announcer, to wit: "YOU'RE DANCING LIKE A MONKEY! C'MON!"
He'll destroy that goddamn machine later.
COMBATSYS: Batsu interrupts Medium Punch from M.Bison with Head Drop.
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Batsu 0/-------/---====|=======\======-\1 M.Bison
Hey! The game insulting him is enough, does he need it from Bison too?! ABSOLUTELY NOT. Thus when the next song starts -- "Where's my samurai?" demands the chirpy JPop voice -- Batsu has entirely forgotten the game. Or rather, he hasn't, but he's going to make damn sure he smacks this loud-ass boxer in the face beforehand. Of course, said boxer is driving right at him with a right cross, but once again Batsu's thickheaded durability (of a sort) is coming to help him. The punch slams into his face with all the force that Bison can muster... and believe me, kids, it's a lot.
The problem is that Batsu just doesn't seem to want to FALL OVER like should happen after an absurdly powerful blow like that. Instead he just grins with the one eye he can keep open. "I think... I'm gettin' the hang of this," he offers... and then springs into action. Yes, it's time for Appropriated Nonsense Ninja Technique #4: the Izuna Drop. Snagging Bison around the waist before he can get away, Batsu is now shouting: "IT'S LIKE TWISTER!". Then he and the boxer are airborne, and then inverted, hurtling back down toward the pads headfirst. Right, in fact, toward the 'right' arrow on Bison's pad, which he actually impacts WITH BISON'S BODY on time with the game, which cheers. "RIGHT HAND RED, JERK!" the Burning Fighter shouts as he rebounds away and lands on his own pad in a crouch.
What a persistent kid. Still, Bison's enjoying himself now, at least. Batsu's a brutal fighter, and Bison can accept that. However. Bison casually gets up, not letting his expression betray the pain he's in... Yeah. He can appreciate Batsu alright. If he weren't Bison possessed of an inordinate amount of ego and arrogance, he would acknowledge Batsu. But... he's Bison. So instead...
Bison cracks his neck, left then right, spitting out a bit of tooth. Huh. Have to have the docs look at that later. "Sheeeeeeeeeeeit," draws the boxer, almost conversationally, as he turns towards his pad again, back to the part he already damaged. He gets his hands on it. His biceps bulge, and with a shrieking sound, the steel bar is torn free of its housing, the squared cee shape as wide as a man.
"I THOUGHT YOU HIT HARD!!" he bellows, as he swings that piece of metal to his right side, steps forward, and hurls it at Batsu's chest, his breathing getting even harder.
COMBATSYS: M.Bison successfully hits Batsu with Large Thrown Object.
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Batsu 0/-------/=======|=======\=======\1 M.Bison
Sometimes, in a fight, you can get the advantage by doing something so totally unexpected that the opponent has no other option but to stand there, dazed, without knowing what to do about it at all. This is one of those times. Did he expect trash talk, and maybe a little more fist? Sure. Did he expect the man to start trashing the venue and then chuck it at his head? Absolutely not. And thus when the metal bar comes flying at Batsu he makes his evasive attempt way, way too late; the thing cracks into his face and knocks him over, clattering to the ground behind him with a mournful wail of steel on the floor.
Whoa.
Grimacing, Batsu pulls himself back up and wipes a hand under his mouth, blood spattering away as he does so. That hurt a *lot*. "Not bad yourself," he spits out. "I thought you were a boxer, though, not a javelin thrower." That hurt. But damned if he's walking out of this fight just yet... it's a good challenge. If only that damn machine would shut up.
Case in point: smile.dk's somewhat popular 'Butterfly' is being mournfully interrupted by mass booing from Batsu's side as he misses steps, and the announcer's ceaseless prattling about how bad he sucks. 'Did you have breakfast this morning? Oh man, this is a terrible dance! My blind quadraplegic grandmother in a wheelchair does better than you!' Hey, that last one's not factory spec. Were the SNF people tinkering with these?
You can actually SEE the vein suddenly throb on Batsu's forehead. "SHUT UP!" he bellows, throwing a fist sideways and shattering one of the TVs on the video wall before looking at Bison. "Man, now I'm pissed..." And with that he's running forward, and then vaulting into the air. At the apex of his jump time seems to stop as Batsu inverts himself and then dives at Bison like an arrow, foot extended and surrounded in cerulean chi. "RYUUSEI KICK!"
COMBATSYS: Batsu successfully hits M.Bison with Shooting Star Kick.
- Power hit! -
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Batsu 1/------=/=======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 M.Bison
Alright. Here we go. Bison's ready. He's going to take this hit and then he's going to -crush- this fool. Or...
... or he's just going to take the hit, that chi-enhanced kick cracking into Bison's jaw, likely denting if not breaking the bone. Bison is literally stomped into the machine; his thick head breaks the pad, smashing the plexiglas cover as his body is bounced up and over by the impact. He lands flat on his back and for a moment he isn't sure he can get up. But c'mon.
This is Bison.
He gets to his feet and his glare is deadly-intense... as he pounds his hands together. "Aight kid. You done earned it. You gon' feel this one. I guarantee it," he promises, popping the knuckles on his right hand. He takes his time in setting up for it, as he pauses... then screams forward, his body blurring, almost, as he cocks his right hand back for a vicious, powerful straight punch. Picturesquely, his fist seems to be literally ripping the air around it as it whistles forward, its target Batsu's -heart-.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" is the only sound anyone in the arcade can hear for these brief few moments, the sound of Bison's anger finally overflowing.
COMBATSYS: M.Bison successfully hits Batsu with Gigaton Blow.
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Batsu 1/=======/=======|===----\-------\0 M.Bison
Earned it, huh. Well, that's one way of looking at it. And if Bison wanted to totally destroy the DDR machine, well... he got his wish. He braces himself to try and weather the storm, but Batsu doesn't have the reflexes to deal with the ultimate punch from a man who, even if he is kind of an ass, Batsu respects as a very, very powerful and durable fighter. The Giganton Blow lands, as the name suggests, explosively; even for his stocky frame, Batsu flies backwards like a rag doll, INTO the DDR machine, which breathes its last in a squeal of static over the speakers. Ah, Howard Enterprises. It's like you ENJOY paying out money to venues.
For a second it looks like Bison wrapped this all up with a bow, the Burning Fighter slumped into the remains of the thing like it's an upright coffin, blood trickling down the right side of his face just below the cross-shaped scar on his prominent forehead. However, slowly, one brown eye opens, and he trains it on Bison. "Pretty... good," he admits, and he begins the torturous process of extricating himself from the wreckage. "Your personality... sucks but your punches are... top notch."
A glow starts to hum around Batsu's fist. Initially it's a dark blue, but that quickly becomes a fiery orange-red of flame as the Burning Fighter lives up to his name. "About to check out... but... gonna leave ya..." And then he is somehow streaking across the distance between the two. Slowed by injury and fatigue, but still moving at a decent clip, Batsu throws his all into one last strike... repaying his debts, as it were. "...SOMETHING TO REMEMBER ME BY!"
One blazing punch drives downward, looking to slam Bison toward the ground... but then it rises, and when it does an explosive geyser of flame and punch looks to send Bison into the SKY, which may be kinda painful in a 5-story location. "GUTS! UPPEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"
Regardless of what goes down, however, Batsu slumps forward into unconsciousness after that.
COMBATSYS: Batsu can no longer fight.
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M.Bison 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: M.Bison fails to interrupt Maximum Guts Upper from Batsu with Gigaton Blow.
COMBATSYS: M.Bison can no longer fight.
"One of these days, Alice, I swear--!"
*BANG* *ZOOM!*
"--I'm gonna go to the moon!" continues the earnest young amn talking to his true love, in the corner of the arcade... as Bison gets HELLACUTTED. It isn't even an uppercut, it goes past that, it's a HELLACUT. Literally, he is uppercutted so hard he impacts the ceiling. He doesn't have any words for Batsu. Because he is UNCONSCIOUS.
Fortunately, so is Batsu. In about five seconds, the ground is going to shake, though... because that's when Bison comes down.
Right onto the DDR machine. And if you think an arcade machine is tough, it's not as tough as Bison--who gets the last laugh in silencing the announcer. Hah, take that, Batsu.
There's a moment of stunned silence, and then the announcer shouts, "DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!" ... kind of like a Mexican 'futbol' announcer, actually, except this guy stops to draw breath every few seconds.
Log created on 12:38:45 03/02/2008 by Batsu, and last modified on 14:21:22 03/06/2008.