Description: Tenma! Alan! A hedge maze! Thrill as Alan reclines and is Alan while Tenma runs around cutting holes in things! Then they knock each other unconcious again! (Winner: NOBODY IS THE WINNER)
Ah, scenic Germany. Birthplace of numerous cultural marvels, as well as several bids at world domination, and also Luc Schroedinger.
In the mind of one Tenma Kiryuu, it's hard to tell which export the country should be more ashamed of. It's a close, close race.
But, Tenma has other things to occupy his thoughts right now, standing as he does at one entrance of the massive hedge maze, observing the tall foliage in front of him with one blue eye, his other shut as he huffs a resigned, long-suffering sigh. This seems like a lot of rigamarole to go through just to get into a fight with somebody, doesn't it? But, he knows what the rigamarole is for; the cameras. The cameras which seem to be everywhere, filming every possible angle, probably even placed discreetly in the hedge maze itself, and certainly filming them from overhead in distant helicopters.
And Tenma knows somewhere, at the opposite side of the maze, is his opponent.
"This is dumb," the Guardian King mutters to himself, the slightly curved length of his bokken slanted against his shoulder, held almost negligently in his right hand. Red, red blood drips from his left hand, the violent aura of crimson already alight on his sword, chi and blood raging. But then, a voice booms throughout the park, first in English and then followed shortly thereafter by an even louder and scarier German translator. "FIGHTERS!!" calls the voice. "YOU MAY NOW ENTER THE MAZE!!"
Grumbling to himself about the noise, one of the speakers having been /right behind him/ and giving him a startle, Tenma takes his first step into the hedge maze. BUT WHAT OF ALAN?!
OF COURSE Alan is also here you GIANT DORK. He rarely misses his fights, and when he does it's usually because he said something inappropriate at either Vice or Mature and is busy paying the price. Today he has avoided their tender ministrations, and steps into the hedge maze at the same time at Tenma. He boredly chews a fingernail while observing his surroundings. He asides to the cameraman following him, "You know, I've always wanted to get a nice hedge-maze going, right, then put a delicious banquet in the middle of it, and then release fifty starving homeless people into it and tell them only one could get to the banquet. I, of course, would be in an observation platform to watch the fun."
Saturday Night Fight's ratings suddenly take a big dip. I mean... god /damn./
"Ha! Yeah, that would be hilarious." Alan pulls a Black and Gold from his pocket, lighting up, and picks a direction seemingly at random. He doesn't seem particularly irritated by the whole maze business.
How can Tenma's sass even hope to compare to Alan's? Mouthy as the Gedo swordsman is, he at least has /morals/. A hidden camera zooms in close on the Japanese teenager as he continues to pick his way through the maze, finally hitting... A dead end. Well, this sure isn't a pain in the ass. Sighing a little to himself, Kiryuu palms his face with his left hand, leaving a little smear of blood on his cheek from his thumb, and finally decides... "Ahh, screw this noise."
Lashing out, the red aura on his wooden blade seeming to... Sharpen... Tenma just plain cuts his way through the dead end, stepping through bloodied, severed hedge and continuing on. At least, that is, until he turns a corner... And finds himself face to face with Alan R.B. And... A cameraman?!
COMBATSYS: Alan has started a fight here.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Tenma has joined the fight here.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Tenma
The viewers at home are treated to a very well put-together on-the-fly scene. Tenma, charging through the hedges, his dark blood crying out to destroy!! Alan, smoking casually, glancing over toward the noise. A view from a helicopter, showing Tenma's inexorable progress on a blonde with a cameraman near him! Then they cut to a commercial.
Then they return! Tenma bursts through the hedge to find the pale blonde man, a crumpled Marlboro in his mouth, dark brown eyes wide with fear. Wait just a--! "Oh God! Oh Jesus please God don't hurt me-" The false Alan falls on his ass, scrambling back against a hedge. He's a bit too tall and isn't at all toned. Also, not crackling with electricity, which really gives it away! "Shit they said I probably wouldn't actually see one of the fighters just don't----" His voice collapses into incomprehensible terrified whining.
Elsewhere in the maze, Alan has pushed over some hedge, climbing up into it and reclining. His cameraman appears somewhat uncomfortable, as Alan is still just rambling. "--'s when I slapped a $20 on his table and said 'Here, it's on me, no retard should pay to eat...' he was /so pissed/ and his girl was /so hot for me.../"
Now, if Tenma had never met Alan before, he'd probably just attack the guy anyway. But, he /has/ encountered the boxer on two different occasions, and up close this is clearly not the right guy. "What the hell is this crap?" the youth wonders, and his irritation at the whole /maze/ thing only spikes higher at the presence of an /Alan Impersonator/. This leaves Tenma with precious few options but to move on.
But not before kicking the fake Alan in the stomach as he cowers on the ground, and pushing the cameraman into the hedge on the other side. It makes him feel a little bit better.
So Tenma goes back to stalking through the maze, choosing his direction seemingly at random, and continuing to cut his way through whenever he runs into a dead end. He doesn't feel like jumping through hoops today! Which is doubtlessly going to cause the people who /maintain/ the maze no end of aggravation tomorrow.
"...around and slipped both thumbs right up-" Alan breaks off his ramblings as he relaxes on his hedge seat, completely subverting the idea of the fight in a completely different way - but just as drastically - as Tenma over there is. He glances over in Tenma's direction, as revealed by the new aerial camera to the viewers, and quietly slips down, smirking. He palms a rock from the ground.
Alan waits quietly for his moment, puffing a cloud of smoke every now and then. Finally, it comes, as Tenma passes right by a smal gap in the hedge wall, just big enough for someone very accurate to throw a rock through! "Hey, you've got a face only a rock could love!" Alan barks out, before doing just that, with alacrity. It's probably going to be pretty easy to figure out where Alan is after that one!
COMBATSYS: Tenma overcomes Thrown Object from Alan with Dharmapala.
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Tenma
...You know what, it sure is!
The shout draws Tenma's attention first, of course, followed by the rock headed his way. Twisting, the younger man's right arm moves reflexively, sweeping through the air in a broad arc, the weapon in his hand leaving a trail of red energy behind it. From that trail springs forth a crescent of roiling blood, that tears forward and cuts Alan's rock right in twain, the fragments passing to either side of Tenma and missing him by a hairsbreadth, while the bloody attack itself continues forward, right at the boxer from whence that rock came.
Tenma doesn't do this quietly, of course: "That's no way to talk about your mom!" is his reply.
COMBATSYS: Alan overcomes Dharmapala from Tenma with Lightning Strikes Twice.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Tenma
"Clearly you haven't met her, she's like Zangief with less hair!" The cameraman gets the hell out of there as the wave of BLOOD CHI COME ON comes ripping forth, tearing right through hedge and bearing down on the boxer. A boxer who... doesn't seem to care. Alan pops an eyebrow up, reaching up with his right hand. Electricity surges into a small orb, and he whips his hand forward, snapping his fingers. "Strike!"
The bolt of lightning sears forward into the wave, impacting into a bizarre crackling ball of red and yellow. "Twice!" The second bolt speeds forward, dragging the combined ball of chi and tiny powdery bits of rock with it.
Behind the mess, Alan nonchalantly flicks ash from his cigarette, and after a brief thought, shrugs out of his vest so it doesn't get caught by all the hedge everywhere. "Yep, still doing /that/ crazy shit, and still not doing it well."
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Tenma with Lightning Strikes Twice.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Tenma
But even as the crescent of blood speeds forward, Tenma is moving /after/ it. Just what is the kid up to, anyway? "Really?" he says, at Alan's description of his own mother. "That explains a /lot/." And then, he runs right into Alan's electrical chi. This... Doesn't work quite how he was planning it, but Tenma continues forward regardless, hissing through clenched teeth at the brief surge of pain caused by the attack. Sometimes you just gotta roll with what you got.
Which is why as he gets closer to the boxer, Tenma's run turns into a lunge, and he sweeps his bokken out again in a horizontal slash, this one aimed right at the side of Alan's head. But really, how much harm can hitting the foulmouthed boxer in the head do by this point?
COMBATSYS: Alan dodges Tenma's Medium Strike.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Tenma
Alan sways to the right, dodging around the diving weapon. "I saw that coming from a mile away, kid, and we're in a hedge maze! I can't see most things from four feet away!" He keeps things in close, crouching down and swaying beneath the weapon quickly before Tenma pulls it back, laying out a strong left-handed punch for the side of the student's face.
As he does so, his sleeve snags on the wreckage of maze wall that Tenma had just charged down, ripping it halfway down the forearm. "Ah, damnit."
COMBATSYS: Tenma fails to interrupt Hook Punch from Alan with Head Breaker.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/------=|==-----\-------\0 Tenma
As Alan dodges the attack, and of course has to make a remark about it, Tenma just snorts. "Just keepin' things easy for ya, old timer," he replies, twisting on a heel as that left-handed punch comes his way. What's he trying to do?! Nothing that's actually going to work right now, unfortunately. His free hand snakes forward to grab Alan by the front of his shirt, but before he can actually /do/ whatever it is he's planning, that fist clouts him right in the side of the head, good and hard.
Staggering to the side, and coming away with a handful of Alan's shirt, Tenma seems briefly surprised by this turn of events, trying to get his footing under him as quickly as possible. "Th' hell, when did you stop punchin' like a granny, Sparkplug? That was damn near /effective/!"
Alan frowns deeper as Tenma comes away with more shirt. At this rate, he's going to have to go through a redesign when the next game comes around! "Man, are you /trying/ to get me naked? If I knew you had ulterior motives I'd've never agreed to this one." Instead of responding to Tenma's baiting, Alan just keeps on pressing in, hands sweeping forward, crackling with electricity.
He brings them together directly in front of Tenma's staggering face, creating a burst of sound and a great deal of concussive force. Leaves burst off the hedge around them, and hopefully, even more will come off if Tenma goes flying into them. "Thunderclap!"
COMBATSYS: Tenma blocks Alan's Thunderclap.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/-----==|====---\-------\0 Tenma
"Yeah, well," Tenma says, dryly, "I just can't resist an ugly idiot with a bit of a paunch." And /then/, Alan tries to kill him with some kind of hand-slapping attack. The burst of force and sound hurts, but the younger fighter manages to hold his ground by tensing and pushing back against it with his chi, enough to at least blunt the main force of the attack.
And then, quick as he can, Tenma is lunging forward at Alan again, getting both hands on the long hilt of his bokken as he swings it diagonally downwards, aiming a vicious slash across Alan's torso... Which, if it hits, is followed up by a quick stab from the same weapon, the bloody aura around it flaring up again to drive Alan into - and maybe through - the hedge behind him.
COMBATSYS: Alan blocks Tenma's Fierce Strike.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Tenma
"Oh, man, you saw that guy? It's too bad I didn't run into whatever slouch they got for you. He'd probably have clear skin and ladies hanging off of his shoulder, we are talking a completely inaccurate doppelganger!" Alan punches down at the weapon as it comes slashing down, driving it to his hip and taking much less of a blow. As for the stab, his other hand comes down to /catch/ the weapon, electricity flaring against the red haze, but the force ultimately shoves him back and through the hedge. More bits of his shirt come tearing away.
"Ah, screw it." Alan reaches down, grabbing a handful of shirt and pulling it away. The cloth, already compromised, tears right away, crackling chi all around his exposed skin. The blonde backs up a bit, takes a few dancing steps to either side, and strikes both fists together with a clash.
Then he's a blur, whipping forward to step around Tenma. A line of electricity follows his path until he leaps up, pivoting around and driving several hard blows at Tenma's back.
COMBATSYS: Tenma endures Alan's Fierce Punch.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////// ]
Alan 0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\1 Tenma
"Aaah, what the hell!!" Tenma says, overdramatically looking away and putting his free hand up in the way of seeing shirtless Alan. "You pasty white asshole, what do you think you're doing?! This isn't the gay bar!" And /then/, he gets punched in the back a bunch.
Tenma doesn't even try to avoid it, though maybe he should've, getting quite solidly blasted by the repeated strikes and driven forward, tumbling through the already treacherous hedge - which puts some tears in /his/ shirt, not like the electrified punches didn't do their thing too - and landing in a heap, slowly pushing himself up, his shirt barely hanging on.
Slowly enough that he seems like he's lost any advantage he might've gotten... But not really, as it soon becomes clear he's driven the point of his bokken into the ground underfoot. Alan has seen this before.
"GO TO HELL, TRASH!!" bellows the Gedo swordsman as cracks spiderweb quickly out from where his sword has met the ground, and gouts of blood erupt out of them, forming into serpentine shapes that zero in on Alan from different directions, all trying to smash into the boxer in a torrent of chi and blood!
COMBATSYS: Tenma successfully hits Alan with Hell of Blood.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Alan 1/----===/=======|-------\-------\0 Tenma
Alan smirks as the bloodsnake things come at him, lean muscles flexing as he tenses up... and darts to the side at the instant they would have hit him, easily evading the strike. "Ha! I've seen that too many times tpfuugh!"
What Alan didn't remember is how many different directions they came in from! Another one comes bursting up, knocking him into the whole mess, leaving his skin seared red and then covered in blood! Once it's all said and done, he's looking significantly worse for wear, though that electricity never stops crackling. Slowly, he straightens up, rolling his shoulders.
"You're just jealous that the ratings went up right there." Slowly, he puts a cigarette - they survived this one - into his mouth, letting his body relax.
The blood clinging to his skin suddenly bursts away as chi floods his body, waves of electricity crackling outward from him. Eventually, a stray bolt lights his cigarette. "Heh... bet you can't do it again."
COMBATSYS: Alan gathers his will.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Alan 1/=======/=======|-------\-------\0 Tenma
Snorting as he gets to his feet, Tenma looks down at himself... Yep, shirt ruined. Great. So now he too tears off /his/ shirt, baring his own lean muscled torso, with its smattering of faint, faded scars. "Yeah, I don't doubt you're testin' real well in the 'girls with no self-esteem' demographic," the teenager responds, frowning a little as he watches the sudden flare of chi around Alan. He can /feel/ it, too, even before the electricity itself becomes palpable. He can feel that there's some bad news on the way. But that's fine; Tenma Kiryuu isn't the sort to back down.
Instead, he straightens up, resting his chi-emanating bokken on his shoulder again, hooking the thumb of his left hand in his pants pocket, the blood-red beads of his prayer bracelet glinting faintly in the electric light. "Oooh a /lightshow/," Tenma says, dismissively. "Never seen one a' /those/ before."
COMBATSYS: Tenma focuses on his next action.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////// ]
Alan 1/=======/=======|-------\-------\0 Tenma
"Well, then this next one's really gonna sh..." Alan trails off. "You know what? You don't even deserve the bad pun!" He gives Tenma a cruel grin then, charging forward and leaping into the air. He twists, beginning to spin as he crosses through the air, hands locked together.
Electricity surges down his hands as he spins faster and faster, gathering his chi up into a single massive wave. Thunder roars as he nears, snapping out of his spin, bringing a massive axehandle slam...
"MJOLNeeerrrrrrd!"
What?! Alan has suddenly snapped out of his attack, the electricity snapping back into his body as he digs his hand into the top of Tenma's head! What a twist!
COMBATSYS: Tenma fails to interrupt Jab Punch from Alan with Weapon Jab.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////// ]
Alan 1/=======/=======|=------\-------\0 Tenma
...A twist far too twisty for Tenma to deal with. He's ready to totally deny Alan's attack once again, but when he suddenly changes tactics, the younger fighter is left trying to keep up. It's not really been Tenma's best fight ever, you know? The punch-noogie or whatever it's supposed to be comes down, and the Gedo gang member thrusts his bokken forward in an attempt to stab Alan right in the neck, but he doesn't quite manage it, the weapon just grazing, not close enough to do any real harm.
Okay.
Now Tenma is mad.
For an instant, Alan channels a man with a heart on his neck as he keeps his hand digging there onto Tenma's head, electricity still whirling around his body as he performs a one-handed pushup, his downward compression knocking the sword away. "Ha!" Then he shoves up hard, launching back into the air.
Alan curls up once again, dumping his power back into his hands. The wave builds up again immediately, rotating around him as he spins, lighting up and throwing the hedge maze below into sharp relief. "Alright, I really mean it, this time--"
The blonde boxer comes down like a ton of bricks, driving both hands back at Tenma. Lightning and thunder surges forward ahead of his fists, sound crashing everwhere. The force is just as tremendous as ever.
"--MJOLNIR!"
COMBATSYS: Tenma endures Alan's Mjolnir.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > / ]
Alan 0/-------/---====|======-\-------\0 Tenma
Today, it seems, Alan just plain has Tenma's number. Things just haven't gone his way; not that it's going to dent the Gedo swordsman's largely baseless ego any, don't worry. A sensible person would probably try to avoid Alan's mightiest of attacks, but nobody would ever call Tenma Kiryuu 'sensible'. Instead, for the third time, the Guardian King charges right into the Mjolnir, with a wide grin on his face and a wild light in his blue eyes. "STOP USING THE SAME TIRED TRICKS!!" he bellows, as if he were trying to match that thunderous roar with his words - which he is - and then he gets hit dead-on with the fists and lightning.
This time, though, he doesn't /quite/ shrug it off.
The brute force drives him back, the lightning sears his body, but Tenma doesn't stop, oh no. Not for this. Not for a little thing like this. And what's Tenma got to follow with, that's going to be good enough to do anything about this turn of events? What 'new tricks' does /he/ have up his sleeves?
None really, since he's shirtless.
But what he does have is a a foot heading right for Alan's groin, swung as hard as he can. "SHOW ME--" Then, he slashes with his bokken, hard, like he's trying to cut Alan right in half, probably because he is. "--SOMETHING--" And then, finally, if Tenma gets his way, he ends off by slamming his forehead right into Alan's face. "--NEW!!" But either way, that's all she wrote for Tenma today.
COMBATSYS: Tenma can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Alan 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Tenma successfully hits Alan with Deep Strike.
[ \\\\\ <
Alan 1/-----==/=======|
After the legendary fight with Sada (footage of which is spliced into the highlight reel for the fight, namely, the moment when she hit him in the balls at the same time the monks rang a huge gong), Alan has taken to wearing a cup. This doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, but it keeps it from being the height of agony. The hit lifts him back into the air, the slash bringing him back down as well as giving him quite a welt! Finally, the headbutt sends him spiraling back into the poor cameraman. His camera detonates unrealistically.
In the end, Alan, cigarette crumpled, bruised, with blood dripping down his forehead and hair /completely unmussed,/ isn't getting back up. He looks to the side, and what do you know, there's the giant stone head of George Washington, shaking his head and looking grim.
"Yeah, like anything about /this/ is new..."
COMBATSYS: Alan takes no action.
COMBATSYS: Alan can no longer fight.
Log created on 18:15:53 12/17/2007 by Alan, and last modified on 13:58:17 12/18/2007.