Description: "I awoke early this morning, distraught over how little sleep I had managed to garner through the restless hours of the night. Rubbing my dry eyes blearily, I shuffled in a zombie-like fashion to my desk. Stifling a yawn, I cracked my knuckles, and set to work on half-assing a narrative description of a Saturday Night Fight Log pertaining to my character, Maxima, and his opponents, Frei and Himeko. I typed out the winners, and then crankily went to watch a riveting hour of the Golden Girls on Lifetime." (Winner: Maxima)
Somewhere, a man who barely can grasp the english language manages to utter an accented: 'Eendeeyah'. AND HOW! SNF is worldwide, and is certainly shows, while this particular part of India may not exactly express the most 'indian-y' culture visually, it's just enough for people to know 'It's not Japan!'. And oddly enough it is a very nice day, perhaps about three in the afternoon, just a little bit of a breeze, the sun shining bright and the sky a blue of all blues, not a cloud in the sky.
So what do we have today? Tons of stones, plenty of stones, lots of trees but pretty much all an open area in front of the temple-like structure with a little water thrown in there it'd seem. And just before the walkway is where the battle is planned to start, but may not necessarily finish! Lots and lots and lots of people stand within the green areas, the crowd's already been warmed up and worked up by a bilingual announcer whom introduces each fighter by screaming at the top of his lungs while thrusting his hips for no real reason, after making clear what the matches stipulation is first.
The first introduced though, is -not- a certain pink clad heroine however. It's someone else!
Normally in this sort of event, Frei Renard is front and center when it comes to wacky hijinx. Somewhere on his fighter card at Howard Enterprises there's probably a note scrawled in red Sharpie and circled a few times, reading: "wacky hijinx". Sadly, his 'real life' is intervening this week, and while he felt a little better after some human contact (even if that contact was K'), the looming spectre of his brother's ominous visit to Southtown is keeping the monk preoccupied this week. It shows, as he sits on a folding chair off to the side in the production area, sipping a chai (it IS India) and looking out over the many reflecting pools on the Taj Mahal complex.
He didn't even show up in costume. It MUST be bad.
However, he's determined to use this week's SNF to try and raise his spirits, if nothing else. A little research found, for example, that his *other* new 'coworker' is in fact his opponent in this battle... an interesting little factoid. And the premise does sound fun, if challenging. The monk is actually secretly thankful that he's not the evasive type of fighter, since that could turn very quickly into a Daffy Duck-as-Robin Hood nightmare scenario. Thrust! Parry! Spin! HaHA!
At least he's getting in the spirit of it as he gets up from his chair. "Sipping the last of his too-expensive tea, Frei stares into the depths of the cup! Turning, he arcs a shot into the nearby recycling bin..." Swish! "...and completely misses, pelting a production assistant in the face with the empty cup!"
Oh dear.
Taj Mahal, a building known worldwide and considered to be one of the manmade wonders of the world. Many people come to this place simply to view the splendor of it. This particular area is known as the Chahar Bagh gardens, beautifully laid out with flora and clear, sparkling water. It's truly a sight to behold, though... most of the people here? Didn't come just for the sights of this world wonder. They came --
"And so begins a new, riveting chapter of the epic saga, Saturday Night Fight!"
-- to see people kick the crap out of each other.
And isn't that really more important than manmade wonders of construction?
The calm, yet imposing voice of a certain Canadian booms out from a distance, just beyond the entrance to the gardens. He stands calmly, fists against his hips, head tilted upwards so he can stare dramatically into the air. Apparently, the cyborg enjoys this sort of scenario. Who knew? His stoic expression is quick to dissolve into something more lax, a grin splitting his lips as he strides front and center to where the match should begin.
"Striding front and center to where the match should begin," Maxima helpfully narrates, "the mysterious Canadian dynamo known only as -/MAXIMA\- makes his presence known with a confident grin and an easy posture. 'Can I overcome these odds?!,' he thinks to himself. Slowly, he comes to face his first opponent, dark eyes focusing in. He lifts his right hand, and waves.
"'Yo,' he says, in a manner suggesting he is far more friendly than his appearance would suggest." He pauses.
"Not that he's ugly, or anything."
The life of a high school girl is never a simple one, every day presents new challenges to overcome, new rumors to disprove, and most importantly.. Another book to read. Just what exactly should one expect when they see the name 'Hurricane Hime'?
"She.. Is a girl of Honor.. She.. Is a girl of Duty!!" Comes a voice that easily carries into the sky.. Because it comes from speakers, of course. And while it's difficult to hear, there are then footsteps racing along the stone floor.
"Here comes: HURRICANE HIME, 16 YEARS OLD!" A dark-skinned girl, clad in a dark pink bodysuit nearly explodes out of the crowd with a jumping, flippy kick with a certain amount of jump and flip that only a bookworm heroine can do, microphone in hand! And she continues to flip until she ends up to the side of her fighting partner, in which she drop to a crouch, and points her free hand dramatically toward the.. The... Very large canadian man! "I cried as I lept out of the unsuspecting crowd and to the side of my butterfingers teamate who's name I couldn't remember. But so long as I kept that thought to myself, there's no way he would ever know. As for my opponents? I was shocked.."
Hime stands up straight, tossing the microphone over her shoulder and places her hands on her hips. "They were a team I had never seen the likes before in my life. Something inside me said it'd be wise if my partner handled -/MAXIMA\- while I fought the sideburns. But I hadn't fully decided if that would be the wisest strategy. Instead, I waited quietly.. Calmly.. PATIENTLY for the announcer to start the match."
What.
Maxima and Himeko make their entrances with flair. Oh yes, lots of flair. Enough flair to get hired at that bistro place in that one movie I didn't like. The spotlights are crazy, focusing everywhere, colored flashes, streamers! It's big and exciting! Maxima claims he's not ugly! Himeko thinks Frei is clumsy!
The spotlight swivels to Frei, who has his back turned and is apologizing to the production assistant. The heat of the lamps catches his attention and he turns, glancing into the crowd with a sort of deer-in-headlights expression for a second.
There's the sound of mic feedback for a moment.
"I'm... on. Right, yes! On. Thank you. Yes." He jogs over to the arena and gives a little wave to his SNF co-competitors. "Confused and probably suffering permanent retinal damage from that SPOTLIGHT," he grits out, the spot suddenly dimming a little, "the mysterious monk takes slightly to the right of center stage, caught between a large Canadian and a young girl who should cut back on psychotropic drugs before public appearances," he throws out, glancing at Himeko with the o_o? face.
Clearing his throat, he turns back to Maxima. "Thrusting a fist forward in defiant and melodramatic aggression, he asserts that his opponent is nothing like that other guy he met the other night and apparently likes to talk! It's... actually sort of too easy to do this stuff! I actually don't think I can stop, the monk thought aloud. Inside voice, INSIDE VOICE."
Abandon hope, all ye who enter.
"'Hey,' Maxima noted, a bit forlorn.
'The sideburns are stylish.'"
And indeed, the titanic Canadian does look just a -bit- forlorn. Lips pull into a small, thoughtful frown as he regards Himeko. Well -- she's certainly -unique-. He, of course, does NOT monologue the fact that his mind is currently sifting through a massive databank of fighting information, pulling up any info he can find on the enigmatic 'Hurricane Hime.' Brown eyes roll to the side towards Frei as he approaches, dark eyes squinting.
"Maxima recalled distantly that the monk known as Frei Tsukitomi-Renard was a new peer of his, part of the Young Fighters Community Center (which he had recently applied to, but that's a story for another time)! He turns to regard his fellow-employee-turned-opponent, lifting a hand to his chin to rub -- -thoughtfully-." And so he does, gloved hand scratching at his chin.
"'These odds,' the Canadian thought, 'are against me. But, I'll give it my all!' And, resolved, Maxima prepared to fight, thrusting a finger out towards both Himeko and Frei in a dramatic display! 'Prepare yourselves!' he exclaimed! 'For I am about to bring the proverbial 'pain train' upon you!'
"Distantly, Maxima thought, 'Man, was that lame.'
"As the announcer screamed and thrust his hips in a way signifying the beginning of the fight, Maxima ripped forward, intent on testing the skill of his new associate, Frei! His right hand extending, the Canadian sought to make a solid grip on the front of Frei's attire, hand bunching the cloth between his fingers before, with single-minded determination, he would fling the monk forward and towards the glistening pools with a mighty roar!" A respite --
"RAAAAGH!"
COMBATSYS: Maxima has started a fight here.
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Maxima 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Maxima has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
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|-------\-------\0 Maxima
COMBATSYS: Frei has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Frei 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Maxima
COMBATSYS: Himeko has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Frei 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/-------|
"'Egads!' Hurricane Hime, or Hime for short, thought to herself. Somehow, someway, Maxima could tell, perhaps it was just by looking into the heroines eyes, that she was talking smack about the sideburns. Perhaps she should be more careful from this point on.." Hurricane Hime. There isn't much to know, she's a rookie in the circuit whom claims she is the next prodigy of the saikyo ryuu style!
She seems to use her chi to manipulate paper and is pro-education.
"The drug-free, tabacco-free, and alcohol-free Hime mimiced her partners fist thrust, for additional dramatic flair, and insisted, 'Hey, I didn't say a thing, y'hear!'." the small girl outburts before the matches official start. Completely and quite blissfully unaware of what kind of relationship Frei and Maxima may have, she's going to go ahead and try and beat the heck out of this meat wall. "I had a feeling that -/MAXIMA\- would attempt to make a sold grip on the front of Frei's attire. Little did he know, Hime posessed an ancient kick that made mortals tremble. Slipping behind the man, she dashed, she leapt, and struck forth with a flying reverse roundhouse kick to his back as she cried, 'MORTALS!!' with two exclamation points!"
COMBATSYS: Maxima successfully hits Frei with Quick Throw.
- Power hit! -
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Frei 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/-------|
That Maxima is going for him first isn't too unexpected. They do have that semi-coworker relationship, after all... and if Maxima's personality is even half of what his body type and, well, narration type suggest, he's probably going to be focusing on the monk rather than trying to beat down a little girl.
"Hm," he notes, eyeing the Canadian's approach. "I shoulda said that out loud."
"Bracing himself for the worst, Frei does his best to even the odds a little, turn the tables! Why fight it, he asks, offering himself up..." And indeed he does that, planting his feet, waiting for his chance. It's not as if Maxima is attempting to completely destroy him or anything, right? So he can probably walk right into the h--
There is a gap in the narration as the following happens: for starters, it may be that Maxima miscalculated the force required to throw someone of Frei's weight. Frei for sure underestimated the amount of force Maxima would be bringing to bear. And he would certainly be saying all of this out loud if he had not just overshot the reflecting pool he was going to land in and in fact landed *past* it, on his head, on the concrete.
For a second, it looks like Maxima may have just silenced the monk forever.
Slowly getting up, Frei doesn't attack. Instead, he woozily heads back to the fighting area, walking in a sort of zigzag pattern. "Though his body rattles with ataxic incredulity, the monk is determined to inform his sideburned opponent that no matter how hard he hits, he's not taking my parking space."
COMBATSYS: Frei focuses on his next action.
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Frei 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Himeko successfully hits Maxima with Light Kick.
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Frei 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/-------|
"'Uh,' Maxima begins ... ... awkwardly, as Frei is flung like a ragdoll -- clearly having underestimated his own strength in a rare blunder, '... Sorry about that!'"
Maxima does turn an apologetic stare towards Frei as the monk manages to drag himself up; he hadn't expected to hit the other man quite -that- hard. But it doesn't last long as-- "MEANWHILE! Unexpectedly, the mighty Hurricane Hime joins the fray?! Maxima is aghast at the speed at which the diminutive girl moves, taken completely by surprise as--" WHUD! "--WHUD! She strikes him solidly in the back. Maxima lurches forward a single step, before he reigns in tightly. 'NO!' he shouts, voice -booming- with authority. 'I will not be taken down by the likes of you, no matter how strong you may be!'
"In a similar act of defiance to his statement, Maxima took a sudden spin to face Himeko. Looming over the smaller girl, he leaned forward, and, with ALL his effort -- snapped a single hand forward and sought to flick his index finger into Hime's forehead with titanic strength?! 'HO!' he declared mightily as his large finger thrust forward towards the mighty Hurricane Hime!!"
Yeah. BRING IT ON.
COMBATSYS: Himeko blocks Maxima's Quick Punch.
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Frei 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
Holy crap! "'Holy cow!' exclaimed Hime. Not once, but twice! -/MAXIMA\- proved that his mass wasn't just for show, he was as tough bodied as he was strong. Suddenly Hime wasn't so certain that her opponent.. Was at a disadvantage. That is until she remembered she was a Saikyo prodigy! Whom does not have a driver's license yet. Capital d, colon!"
It was clear to the heroine both fighters would have to put the pedal to the metal here. "It was like David versus Goliath, the moment he then stood over the little Hurricane, but =/MAXIMA\= forgot about one thing.. Hime's prized weapon: EXCALIBOOK!" Hime reached behind her and withdrew a textbook sized paperback, just in time to take the brunt of the mighty flick, that curiously enough refuses to bend! Though she still went tumbling back like a little blue hedghog. And her arms were suddenly screaming with burning pain. "A flawless defense, but at what cost, Hime wondered! Managing to get to her feet, she dashed toward the giant again and dropped to the ground, sliding between the goliaths meaty legs! As she stood she reached into her thigh-holster! She whipped out a handful of trading cards which stayed stuck togeather like a rope, quickly shaped into a lasso and slung about Goliath's neck! Or so she hoped, so she could give a good old-fashioned strangle!"
"Thankfully, the spots and the little dancing Yoshis in the corners of his vision cleared up by the time Frei returned to the... whoa... battlefield," the monk narrates, coming back into the 'ring' even if he is swaying a little. Remember, kids: when you get a head wound, it's important to stay conscious and upright so you don't get an embellism or some other terrible bloodflow-related nonsense.
The more you know. ---===*
"Marveling at the battle already in progress, the monk carefully thought out his next plan of action. How does a short, wimpy sort of guy deal with such a massive meat mountain, he alliterated?!" Coming along Maxima's side, keeping clear of Hurricane Hime, Frei just smiles. "The answer, he said, is to play to his strengths. Charging the yin and yang energy in the air, he reaches out with one hand, palm aglow with a haze of violet lightning...!" Well, you read it. Do I need to tell you again?
COMBATSYS: Maxima endures Frei's Charged Throw.
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Frei 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Maxima dodges Himeko's Reading Rainbow.
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Frei 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
"Hoping to win points with the crowd through his internet meme reference, the monk grins once he gets a grip, and then says with a grin, 'I gotta tase ya, bro!'." Which is exactly what he does: he pumps Maxima with serious voltage, and then spins him off to the side and hopefully off-balance!
"Whoever thought knowledge could be this dangerous!?"
Maxima wonders this aloud as per contract, even as Himeko's book refuses to break under the immense strength of his finger flick. "Impressed to say the least, the mighty Canadian wheeled back in shock and preparation! How could such a book withstand the giant force of his index finger?! 'This is perplexing and bamboozling!,' he announced aloud even as the Hurricane Hime went flying back for the effort. All seemed clear, but what of Fre--"
Maxima gets his answer as Frei propels forward, attempting to grip Maxima! "'Woah!,' said Maxima, stunned by the speed at which Frei was suddenly upon him. Unable to do anything else, the giant of a man accepted the assault full on, noting the sudden charge of electricity in the air -- 'Chi, no doubt,' he mused to himself, 'and plenty of it--!'" Maxima is cut off as Frei charges him full of that electrical chi, body shuddering ever-so-slightly from the force utilized. "A-a-as F-Frei c-charged his opponent with m-m-mind-numbing amounts of electrical c-c-chi, Maxima... suddenly ducked -downward-?! Even as the dimunitive monk put forth all that effort, the Canadian dips low, narrowly avoiding -- perhaps by coincidence?! --" probably not since he narrated it-- "that sequence of rope-like cards! And, as Maxima swung his right fist forward in a -SEEMINGLY INNOCENT- uppercut... his wrist, by some unknown power, expanded into a series of armcannons?! Frei would have little chance to move before a gout of compressed air was shot forth from the wrist cannons, attempting to clobber him clear out of the air! Oh no!"
"Hime grinned a bit to Goliath's obvious confusion. She knew it wouldn't be long before he conceded, before he buckled under the pressure and admitted defeat, especially after getting shaken up by Frei's not so wimpy.. Uh.. I think that was a glowing joy buzzer!" the heroine chirps.. But notices something -very- unusual.
"'Be careful, partner!!' Hime cried to Frei, because she still couldn't remember his name for the life of her. It was something simple, it had to be four letters, yet it's always the hardest that way! While Hime managed to wiff her attack, she was in the position to see that what Goliath had in mind wasn't just a punch. But a punch of some sort of futuristic danger. 'Woah! I am fighting the future... TODAY!!' I sputtered in suprise after giving my warning that may.. or may not have made it in time."
"Hime sprung back into action, with no qualms about striking from behind the girl lept into the air, and hopefully onto his back, so that she could lock in a devestating sleeper hold while there was an opening. She would clinch it in, with strength neverbefore see... Uh wait.. She.. Ok she kind of gets her arms around his neck there, give me a sec!"
COMBATSYS: Frei blocks Maxima's Vapour Cannon.
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Frei 0/-------/=======|====---\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
Alrighty then. "He knew it was too easy!" Frei says frantically, trying to narrate and NOT DIE at the same time, which is impressively hard even for a chatty cathy like the monk. "Even as Hime's warning resounds in his ears, Frei throws his arms up in defense, gritting his teeth against the pain of the... ow... air burst!" Which IS a surprise. What kind of people is Alma hiring at the YFCC?! First the one that can create real, not chi, flame... and now someone with wrist-mounted cannons.
The narration continues as he touches down on the ground. "Not for the first time, the mysterious monk is filled with respect for his mighty foe... who is mysterious in his own ways." Better to leave it at that. Plenty of time to grill poor Maxima later. "Drawing on all his strength, Frei pointed at his opponent," like so *point* "and began to gather together a swirling mass of chi energy!" Again: read the dialogue, people. "Bringing his hands to his side in the traditional posture, he again plays to the crowd by using a move that's sure to get everyone in the stands shouting:"
And then there it is: the swirling, prismatic, person-high Sakura-style shockwave that can only be called: "HAAADOOOOUKEEEEEEEN!"
COMBATSYS: Maxima blocks Frei's Hadou Souran.
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Frei 1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Himeko successfully hits Maxima with Quick Throw.
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Frei 1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/------=|
"With tremendous reaction time, Frei managed to narrowly evade the full brunt of the Vapor Cannon, absorbing much of the shock through a solid guard. 'Impressive!,' Maxima exclaimed, genuinely impressed." And he really is. "'This might be even tougher than I thought,' the massive Canadian mused, 'I'll have to be a bit more careful--hrklkgrk!"
That would be the sound of Maxima choking, which puts a bit of a hinderance on his narration. As much as he doesn't really need to -breath- anymore, it's still surprising when Himeko smacks onto his back and starts to clench around his throat. "H--hrk... Maxima... strained to try to breath and speak at the same time as... Himeko put him in such a tremendous stranglehold -- grk -- but he couldn't let it hold him down! Stubbornly, Maxima persisted, especially as he sensed--" courtesy of literal sensors installed into his largely machine body, "-- the sudden swell of power within Frei. 'HAAADOOOOUKEEEEEEEN!,' Frei exclaimed--wait. Whu-- Hadouken?" Maxima looks around, just in time to see the prismatic mass of chi hurtling his way.
"'Ah, crap,' Maxima bemoaned.
"While still struggling with the diminutive mass of Hurricane Hime grappling with his neck, Maxima displayed tremendous response to the incoming shockwave. His entire body lurching to the right, his arm thrust out, palm presented to the incoming conglomaration of chi--" BOOM "--aagh! Ow! And -- gaah -- deftly dispersed the spherical mass of power with a -- jeeez -- distinct burning sensation coursing throughout his arm. -Ow-. Err -- 'Ow,' Maxima thought to himself.
"But he couldn't stop for that! And, even as his right hand thrust out, his left reached behind him, seeking to grip the back of Hime's pink bodysuit! In a display of a titan's strength--" Maxima doesn't mind padding his own ego, "--he sought to rip the small girl off him, and then fling her through the air. You know... ... helluva far."
COMBATSYS: Himeko blocks Maxima's Strong Throw.
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Frei 1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/----===|
"'Justice Hold!!!' Hime cries, as the giant found himself in trouble, he was being choked out by the tiny superheroine! 'Is -this- all the future has to offe- WOAH!" The little Hurricane is also shaken up by Frei's blast, shutting the heroine up for a moment, at least monologue-wise in favor of 'Waaaah!'ing from the shockwaves result.
This would also loosen her hold so she could try and make a great and daring escape.. Though Maxima says otherwise, managing to snatch her up and then WHOOSH! The heroine flew into the air with the greatest of ease.. But with somewhat decent air control, she does hit the concrete rather hard, but then rolls up into a ball with the rest of the impact. Soon.. She will perfect the art of rolling.
"YAHOO-OOF! Hime uttered as she managed to not only withstand the brute strength, but shake it off like it was nothing! (Ow ow ow my back!)" Hime rubbed lightly at her spine, and naturally was back in action, albiet seeming a bit more breathless. "Hime was back in action, and she had to close the distance quickly! Her only option was to borrow a technique a friend had taught her long ago! She leapt into the air, and suddenly she was a pimp, and gravity was her sugarbaby!"
"Curling into a ball and rocketing forward, Hurricane Hime was instantly a shooting star of rolling Saikyo terror!"
Frei brings his hands back to his sides, fingertips trailing wisps of multicolored energy. It takes a lot of it to pull that attack off, after all. "'I'm pretty impressed; you're really tough,' Frei said, though it wasn't certain if he meant Maxima or Hurricane Hime... possibly both!" Yeah, that's the ticket. "'But don't let that go to your head! I'm in no way done here!' he added, secretly wishing he could go and have a lie down after that smack to the noggin."
Such a thing as too honest, Frei.
There's a second while Frei cracks his knuckles, preparing for the next bout of... odd-sounding narration. "An yea, even as the mighty Hime does some crazy rolling spinny pink attack thing like she's Sonic the freakin' Hedgehog over here, Frei continues to do a series of attacks he's seen on TV and has no real idea how to do in any way, hoping that their inept humor will take Maxima off-guard!" Again: Perhaps too honest? "Diving forward with all his might, the furious Frei flies a flaming fist fiercely forward! BURN KNUCKLE!" And he does just that, fist extended and surrounded in crimson fire. It's a cheap knockoff, but really, what isn't.
COMBATSYS: Maxima blocks Himeko's Medium Punch.
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Frei 1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Maxima Toughs Out Frei's Fierce Punch!
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Frei 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\1 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/----===|
"Maxima pulled back a single step as Hurricane Hime went flying, a bit more cautious than before," Maxima narrates, "He knew it was only a matter of time before Frei struck again. And what of Hime? Surely such a meager blow could not stop likes as powerful as her! Maxima thrust backwards, his left arm snapping to the side with a grin to accompany the motion.
"'C'mon!!' he shouted, 'Let's see what you've got!'"
And so they do. First, Himeko -- "Maxima powered forward as the Hurricane of Justice beared down on him, rolled into a... uh..." Maxima squints, "... a human cannonball of some sort! Fearing for his very life, the giant Canadian pushed forward with his left hand, stamping it against the small body of the Saikyo user! With terrifying strength, he -- hnnnng!! -- stopped her motion completely, and -- grah! -- pushed her away harmlessly, allowing her to sail in the air, just as his next opponent made his appearance!
"'BURN KNUCKLE!' Frei shouted, and the familiar call caught Maxima's attention. 'Burn Knuckle?,' he questioned, concerned, 'Are you some sort of catelogue of attacks?!' But before his question could be answered, the Canadian barrelled forward at that fiery fist! Oh, the suicidal tendencies! Yet, as it struck his chest -- jeez, that kind of burns -- Maxima stood strong, his right hand thrusting forward despite the fury of the assault?! 'Wow,' he remarked, 'that was pretty strong!'
"With no further preamble, the Canadian seeked to grasp Frei by the head. From there, he would lift his opponent into the air -- and then SLAM him into the ground, with strength only a Canadian could posses!" Probably the other c-word, but he doesn't explain that. Instead, he just seeks to slam Frei down with force enough to powder the ground.
"OH, the horror!!"
"Hime bounced off of Goliath's guard, as if she were just a pebble being thrown at Mr Anderson's window! It was crazy! However judging by his monologue, which I couldn't actually hear, I'm just powergaming for a brief moment, it was incredibly powerful anyway, and that is something you can't take away from me!"
Hime skidded back a little once standing upright. "Hime also just happened to notice that her partner's 'Burn Knuckle' was actually a little flat. 'Perhaps it was the korean brand 'Burn Nuxxle'!', Hime thought to herself. It made sense to her at least!"
"But more importantly, Frei was in trouble again! Now that the fact that Goliath was Canadian was out, Hurricane Hime knew for certain that nothing good would come of his grab-head-and-slam technique. Feeling she had little choice, Hime once more collected then slung a rope-like extension of cards toward Maxima's ankle!"
"If all went well, the rope would wrap itself about his ankle, and the heroine quickly draws up and whips down her arms, sending an amazing, concentrated wave outward. And once that wave reached the other side in an inhuman feat, would sling Maxima into the air and violently back to the ground! How, I say! How!"
COMBATSYS: Frei endures Maxima's Bulldog Press.
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Frei 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\==-----\1 Maxima
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Himeko 0/-------/----===|
"I GIVE MY LIFE SO THAT OTHERS MAY LI--" Frei starts. From there, narration becomes difficult. Mainly because Maxima's hand is directly over his face, for one. For two, oh god the pain. Perhaps it's for the best that Frei can't speak as he's slammed into the ground so hard floor tiles go flying everywhere, *facefirst*. This may put a strain on his future working relationship with Maxima, dear friends. There are for sure people representing the Indian government flipping out about how they're going to have to regrout after this. You're a wicked blasphemer, Maxima!
However.
"By... all rights... that attack... should have finished... Frei..." comes the monk's voice from ground level. "But slowly, he rose... to his feet... and declared to... the Canadian bruiser that... he is not... left... HANDED!" Yes, the line is cliche. But it IS Frei's right hand that gets the focus, and it's 1.) in very close proximity to Maxima and 2.) glowing really, really brightly with a flash of rainbow colors. "FREI HAS STUDIED HIS AGRIPPA, AND ALSO HIS CHI TECHNIQUE!" the monk bellows, throwing his hand forward.
The world between him and Maxima appears to compress to a single point for a moment before exploding outward in a soundless, invisible shockwave that ripples the air. Boom.
COMBATSYS: Himeko successfully hits Maxima with Picture Pages.
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////// ]
Frei 0/-------/---====|=======\===----\1 Maxima
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Himeko 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Frei successfully hits Maxima with Fukami Reikai.
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > ///////// ]
Frei 0/-------/---====|=======\======-\1 Maxima
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Himeko 0/-------/---====|
"It would seem, Loyal Viewers..." Maxima begins somberly as he lifts upwards from his strike. He felt the give, after all.
"... That everyone's hero, Maxima, is in some deep trouble.
"Brows furrowed with worry as the monk withstood the brunt of his tremendous assault like a true warrior, Maxima was completely unprepared for what came next--"
He sure was, as Frei moves so fast that Maxima can't even complete his DRAMATIC ONGOING MONOLOGUE! Egads! Himeko certainly doesn't help, whipping that wave outward with enough force to send him crashing downwards. Before he can, though, Frei helpfully assists him back up... with a sudden pulsating MASS of invisible chi. He's felt force like this before. Invisible power that ripples the very -sky- around him impacts the Canadian cyborg with a familiar feeling, rocketing him painfully off his feet and bringing him to a crash-landing into the waters. SPLASH goes the clear pool of liquid as he rolls around, smashing through a walkway and conveniently coming to a final stop.
"--and he... guh... feared for the worst.
"Slowly... slowly, Maxima rose to his feet, though he was in a lot of pain and his leather coat was a bit ruined -- idly, he noted that this was a bit inconvenient for him. But, as he stood, something odd happened. His feet... began to glow?! Helpfully obscured by the water, the reason for this could not be discerned, but soon enough... Maxima was ROCKETING through the air like a human missile! A wonderous act of power sent the Canadian literally flying through the air--" at this point, Maxima flies too far up to be heard. All that can be heard, is a faint:
"'buuuunkeeeeer--'"
And then his form begins to descend. Rapidly. Upon both Frei and Himeko like a human meteor, his entire mass DRIVING into the ground in a horrendous explosion that tears up tile and sends a shockwave of -- as Frei might notice -- artificially generated chi ripping through the area like a mass of intensive pain.
"'--BUUUUUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!'"
COMBATSYS: Himeko fails to interrupt Bunker Buster from Maxima with Ghost Writer.
[ \\\\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Frei 0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
[ \\\\\\\\\\ <
Himeko 1/--=====/=======|
"W- Woah woah wait a minute!!" Hime suddenly blurted out, breaking her monologue for a moment. "First of all, everyone's favorite hero is -me-! But it is agreed you're in deep tro-"
And bam lookit that! A big ol' two on one combo that'll rattle even the beefiest of beefy fighters! Remembering what she was supposed to be doing though, Hime bops her fist lightly into her open palm, and then just looks UP once Maxima shot upward.. And then tear down like a massive Canadian Meteor! Her eyes wide, she has no choice. "Brave or Grave!! Hime withdrew the mighty Excalibook, and as its surface glowed with the mighty power of the decendents of its past weilders, Hime crouched and rocketed up into the air- BLAHGHOABVNMMNGHALPH!"
This would be a good time to swap the footage to a massive mushroom cloud. Somewhere within that explosion is the young heroine not quite doing what she was hoping too, and with a trail of black smoke tailing her she flies back and takes -her- turn into the poor of water causing a massive splash! But contrary to what most folks may think she is not dead! As seen by her floating to the surface with the most dazed expression she had put on all day. "... Mommy.."
COMBATSYS: Maxima successfully hits Frei with Bunker Buster.
[ < > //////// ]
Frei 1/----===/=======|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
[ \\\\\\\\\\ <
Himeko 1/--=====/=======|
Looking up at the sky, Frei is able to give... well, a true and impassioned account of what's going to occur here. "Though he bravely stood his ground, our travelling monk knew that his days were numbered. Remember, children: look to the sky..."
Then he is silent as Maxima smacks into him like a colliding comet. Unlike Hime, he doesn't go flying quite so far, but also unlike Hime, the monk is clearly out of the fight; he was barely standing after Maxima's last absurdly powerful hit, and now he's too dazed to even narrate much. Struggling to stand, he grins at the Canadian with one eye shut. His right hand glows once again, but this time it's a less overpowering gold-orange hue. "Hehe... I guess it's checkout time for our hero. I hope you've enjoyed Masterpunch Theatre. I'm your host, Mickey Mouse..."
Throwing both arms forward, Frei gives one last-ditch attack, a spiralling beam of sunlight-like chi that is... well, slow, thanks to his physical condition, but is going to hurt a hell of a lot if Maxima can't get out from in front of it.
"Good night... and good luck," he adds, then topples on his face.
COMBATSYS: Frei can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Himeko 1/--=====/=======|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
COMBATSYS: Maxima blocks Frei's Hizashi Ronde.
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////// ]
Himeko 1/--=====/=======|======-\-------\0 Maxima
"Slowly, from the depths, emerged a lone figure. Who... who could it be?! Likely by the narration, you already know...
"-/MAXIMA\- burst forth from the rubble!!"
In slightly poorer shape than earlier, Maxima still -valiantly- continues his monologue. What a class act. "Despite the -- uuugh... the pain inflicted on the noble Canadian warrior, Maxima still maintained his ground. Eyes full of what he assumed to be resolve, he lifted himself up into a standing position -- despite how much it pained his legs just to get up. It would seem the Hurricane's gambit did not pay off, and Frei... appeared worse for wear. Yet, he still had one last ditch effort?!"
Sensing that sudden spike in chi-- "Maxima suddenly spun to face Frei, just in time to see the-- Ah, cripes. -- he said, astonished, as he thrust his arms forward, and--" His voice is cut off for a moment as Maxima uses what little strength he has remaining to -smash- through the bright, brilliant beam of chi that Frei slings at him--
"Even though it stings something -horrible-, Maxima braved the storming spiral of sunlight!! And though his arms felt like they should just very well fall off, and he distinctly felt his coat was in a state of utter disrepair, Maxima still stood proud!
"... though he took a minute to catch his breath, because, whew, that stung something terrible. 'Don't worry,' said Maxima to Hurricane Hime, 'I'll... uh... give you a small break.'"
COMBATSYS: Maxima gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////// ]
Himeko 1/--=====/=======|====---\-------\0 Maxima
Though it's only for a moment, Hurricane Hime is out of commission.. Things do not seem to bode well for the young heroine, and yet.. Something inside of her tells her to stand up! The fight is far from over after all, she's yet to reveal the ultimate winning technique of saikyo ryuu!! The girl in pink straightens up, slightly slouched forward and dripping back into the water as she looks around a moment.. Hmn, it looks like Frei is down. It's going to take some -serious- power to pull this off and she knows it. If Dan were here, what would he say?
In a thought bubble, Dan Hibiki is running on a treadmill with an apple juice box in hand and listening to his walkman. 'I'm a maniac maaaaaaaaaaniac that's for sure!!!!' he sings.
".... OF COURSE!!!" the heroine then cries, with renewed vigor. She stands up straight, one gloved hand tightened into a fist and a sudden burst of wind circles her, causing the water to splash outward and her oversized scarf to flap wildly. "Why didn't I realize that before! Hurricane Hime cried, the thoughts of wisdom from her teacher clear in her mind! With.. Slightly heavy breaths, Hime stepped from the waters and onto the floor, facing her massively multiplayer online opponent! Hime was near the peak of her maximum potential, but she needed but a moment more before she could go all out. And so with a hand on her hip, the other pointed to Goliath and she said calmly. Firmly.. And yet with Gusto, 'Your mother wears combat boots!' and added it with a Saishu-esque.. 'Ha-HA!'."
COMBATSYS: Himeko gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////// ]
Himeko 1/---====/=======|====---\-------\0 Maxima
"... ... 'Wh... what?' Maxima asked, aghast. He stared in mild horror.
"'-How do you know my mother wears combat boots-?!'
"Horrified by the prospect that the Hurricane Hime might have been stalking him all this time -- or even worse, was a -psychic- -- Maxima takes a single step backwards, far too horrified for words! -- beyond the narrative! His gloved hands trembled. He was in trouble here. If Hime could read his mind, what else could she know?! Could she -- had she -- realized... he thought pink was a -terrible color- for a bodysuit?! Maxima could only imagine the pain he was in for if she did!
"Yet, gathering up his strength, the mighty Canadian resolved himself to pit himself anew against this terribly mind-bending foe. Standing tall and proud, he struck out a single hand towards his opponent, declaring:
"'I won't let you read my mind anymore, fiend!'"
Perhaps Maxima is getting a bit too into this. But whoever said he had to keep the line between reality and fantasy clear? Certainly not the SNF legal team!! "Stepping past the rubble he had created and hopefully would not have to pay for, Maxima broke into a run, bringing himself bearing down on the Saikyo-user with great speeds!! His right leg pulling back, he snapped it forward like a lightning bolt, seeking to jam his knee into Hime's midsection with the terrifying power... OF CANADA! 'HARUMPH!!' he exclaimed, with -extra exclamations-!!"
COMBATSYS: Himeko fails to interrupt Light Kick from Maxima with Neighborhood of Make-Believe.
[ \\\\\\ < > /////////// ]
Himeko 1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0 Maxima
What the.. Maxima's mother actually does wear combat boots? The little Hurricane had to admit she didn't quite see that one coming. Her expression actually goes blank for a moment as she lets that one register. Psychic? Hardly! It was clear to Himeko at that moment that Maxima truly did not know whom he was fighting against. "Hmph!!" the heroine huffs as Maxima makes her out to be some sort of.. Some sort of villain! And badly dressed at that?? HARDLY!
"It seemed Maxima had made a mistake. A BIG mistake. It left the heroine in pink NO CHOICE, but to tell him her name after he was done with his shpiel!" She withdrew her trusty book and struck a pose like none other!! "Allow me to tell you my name! I am she... Whom does not allow ILLITERACY!!" Hime strikes several power ranger like poses as Maxima continues to barrel forth like a freight train. "The Virgin Saikyo Fighter who is as cool.. AS STAYING IN SCHOOoo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!!"
Himeko bends right over Maxima's outstretched knee, eyes butting out slightly, and the girl rockets back, skids along the flooring on her back and flops onto her stomach. ".. Nnnrrgh..." She's not done just yet! She shakily gets to her feet, spitting out a bit of dirt, and holds her side as she continues to pose. "The.. Champion of.. Justice! Defender... *wheeze* of knowledge...!" And finally she raises one hand to her ear as she drops to a single knee, "NACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! LIBREE!!"
..............................
"..........." "... 'W- Wait, that's not it! I- I blew it!!!' Hime suddenly thought to herself! How embarassing!"
WHAMMO! BLAMMO! KAPOW! Himeko goes flying, and-- "For a moment, Maxima looks concerned. Did he strike the Hurricane of Justice too hard?! Did the heroine take too much damage??! Was this the end of NACHO LIBRE!? But apparently not, as the great hero in pink managed to get up just to announce her name in a bellow of resolve! Maxima was concerned -- this unstoppable monster was still going! Could he overcome the odds? 'I must...' he muttered.
"'I must beat Nacho Libre!'
"Sadly, he did not know Hurricane Hime had 'blew it,' as it were."
There's a pause in the narrative here as Maxima stretches his leg in a wince of pain, his monologue halted to both catch his breath, and work out some of the kinks in his joints. There is a long, awkward pause of silence, where the air had previously been filled with a conflict of speech-fury. The Canadian blinks, looks around him. And then, he remembers-- "Oh! Right. Where was I? Uh... Maxima gritted his teeth in determination--" pause for gritting here "-- and lowered his body into his typical fighting stance. 'I'm afraid, Nacho Libre...' he growled out, '... that this is THE END OF THE LINE!' And like a rocket, he flung himself forward, making a grab for Himeko's shoulders! With unrelenting fury, he'd fling her through the air, bending backwards at a--" CRACK "--nng, odd angle as he sought to smash her into the ground--OOF! -- in a suplex of tremendous proportions!!"
COMBATSYS: Himeko fails to interrupt Dangerous Arch from Maxima with 3-2-1 Contact.
> ////////// ]
|======-\-------\0 Maxima
COMBATSYS: Himeko can no longer fight.
> ////////// ]
|======-\-------\0 Maxima
"Wha- WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??? No!! No that isn't my name!!" Hurricane Hime manage to wail through gasps of obvious discomfort. This was a disaster, a complete and utter disaster, and in her thought bubble, Dan Hibiki is just shaking his head.
"Hurricane Hime was in trouble. No, make it double.. *wheeze* She wasn't going to last much longer that she knew for sure, the only way for her to regain her momentum, and her dignity, was to make the most explosive upset her little.. Nngh.. Body would allow."
Would you believe she was just kneeling there throughout the awkward pause and everything? She'd never been on the receiving end of that before.
And then Hime just POWERS UP! You can't really see it too well but she does! Unfortunatly Maxima gets to her first, and once picked up and taken for a ride, well the saikyo student was up to SOMETHING, but with that echo-ey crack, the young fighter just.. Just OW! How can she even narrate that? Like a rubber ball she bounces off the ground from the impact.
She crashes onto her back a final time and this time.. THIS time... She doesn't get up. But she can't. She can't make an exit like this, not without a monologue of some sort, and so she just blurts out the first thing that comes to mind. "I was in my room, and I was just, like, staring at the wall thinking about everything, but then again I was thinking about nothing! And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there and she called my name and I didn't even hear it and then she starts screaming MAI! MAI!! and I said 'What's the matter'! and she goes 'What's the matter with you!' and I go 'There's nothing wrong mom!' and she goes 'Don't tell me that YOU'RE ON DRUGS!' and I go 'No mom I'm not on drugs I'm ok, I was just thinking you know why don't you get me a pepsi!'............................."
And that was pretty much wraps it up in a nutshell.
"... ... ...
"... Maxima found himself at a... loss for words?"
Really, he is. For a long time, the Canadian Cyborg just stares blankly as he lifts up from his crouch. Himeko's last monologue was... ... well, it was stunning, really. In a manner of speaking. He just stares at the girl's prone form for a long and silent moment before he ultimately manages to clear his throat, massive right fist bumping against his chest.
"Err-- ahem! Maxima stood poised over the two fallen fighters, staring amidst the ruin he -- err, all of them, he didn't share sole responsibility -- had made of the Taj Mahal's gardens. A little distraught over the damage caused, and still in pain from the beatings, Maxima took a single step back, clasping his arms behind the back of his head. He grinned easily though, and gave a parting word to both fighters: 'You two did very well. I'm impressed. You're both pretty skilled.'
"And with that, Maxima turned to stride confidently out of the Taj Mahal, offering a thumbs up to the cameras and a grin to accompany. Truly, a riveting fight!
"The End!"
Whew.
COMBATSYS: Maxima takes no action.
> /////////// ]
|======-\-------\0 Maxima
COMBATSYS: Maxima has ended the fight here.
Log created on 19:43:24 12/08/2007 by Maxima, and last modified on 03:33:58 12/10/2007.