Description: A one mile long oval track. An extremely long 'Pit Row'. One car. Two fighters. The only race here tonight will be one to see which fighter can KO the other first, or if either of them can survive Chaos Agent Dr. Tran and his crazy driving in the Chevy Monte Carlo pace car! (Winner: R.Mika)
Today, is a wonderful day to be alive! In the heartland of Alabama, the Talladega Speedway is all ready to go. It's another beautiful day on the track, one that you couldn't ever imagine to be better. The crowds are rearin' to go. Packed, like any race is, already a dull roar can be heard over the horizon. But there's only a single car on the raceway.
Pit row, however, is buzzing with activity. Cameras are placed up and down, left and right, at every angle possible. A sea of cameras as far as the eye can see. As well, microphones. Microphones like reeds in a swamp.
Still this doesn't stop a huge fight to be held there, with all the cars removed but a few, and for a crazy amount of tools and other things to use, it can really get nasty on this perfect speed way day!
BUT SUDDENLY, ANNOUNCER. "WELCOMMMMMMMMMME TO TALLADEGA SUPERSPEED WAY! I'll be your announcer for the fight, Bob McBob, and I'll be here to introduce the two fighters! In this corner, BIRDIE, hailing from England, he enjoys both beer and kittens, and fighting!"
Upon hearing his name, Birdie, already in place, cracks his neck, and flexes his muscles. Oh, he's ready for anything. Even getting ran over by a car if he has too.
Oh yeah. As long as he gets back at R. Mika. That's why he even came.
NO HAGGAR THIS TIME LITTLE GIRL.
Hey! Just because Haggar was there doesn't mean that Rainbow Mika wasn't fighting at her best! At the end of it all she was still standing!
Barely.
Like her opponent, she too is in pit row. Pigtails nice and tight, cerulean mask covering baby blue eyes, and normal wrestling outfit worn! They may not be fighting in the ring, but she is who she is. The only variance in her costume of preference is all of the marketing stickers upon it. Normal racing stickers, ads for different sodas and any other things she could find! Oh yeah! The buxom blonde is ready to wrestle!
But she looks quite shocked when she spies Birdie. Maybe she should start reading the papers they send over, telling her who her opponent is going to be. It would really help things.
"YOU!" An accusatory finger points at him and she pouts before slamming her fists on her hips.
Bob McBob blasts onto the airwaves again, crackling across loudspeakers throughout the speedway. "And in this corner.... RAINBOW MIKA, hailing from Japan! She's trained with such greats at Yoko Harmageddon and Zangief! Let's see if she can handle the kitten loving Brit!"
And just like that, Rainbow Mika tosses her arms up in the air, clasping her hands together and she waves cheerfully at the cameras. She's got a fight, even if it is an odd one.
Can't be worse than the trampolines...
COMBATSYS: Birdie has started a fight here on the right meter side.
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|-------\-------\0 Birdie
COMBATSYS: R.Mika has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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R.Mika 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Birdie
It's time to do a quick check, to make sure everything's in order. White helmet, dark, impenetrable visor? Check. Leather gloves? Got 'em. Thin, overly long scarf? Checkaroonie. The man behind them, the baddest man to ever drive a race car during a Saturday Night Fight? You better believe.
The car skids to a halt, tires squealing in protest as the vehicle goes a full 360. It comes to a complete halt directly in front of pit lane, facing it dead on. The engine revs. Inside the helmet, Dr. Tran grins. This is gonna be good.
COMBATSYS: Tran has joined the fight here.
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Tran 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Birdie
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R.Mika 0/-------/-------|
Jumping about three feet up in the air as the squeal of tires penetrates the area, Rainbow Mika twists her head around to find out where it's coming from. There's a brief moment where she gulps. Once. Very loudly as she realizes the revving engine is angled directly at them.
"Uhh... h-hey... Birdie? You expecting company?"
Answered or not, she uses her momentum to spin her around all the way and then hops toward him. Buttocks flying through the air, she attempts to take the large man down. Pigtails flap about in front of her as she moves. Whether she winds up hitting Birdie in the chest, or landing on the pavement once everything is said and done, she rubs her tuckus.
COMBATSYS: Birdie Toughs Out R.Mika's Shooting Peach!
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Tran 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0 Birdie
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R.Mika 0/-------/------=|
Birdie looks up to see R. Mika call YOU!! at him. He offers her a nice, big grin. "Yup, it's me. Your old, bloody friend. Haggar ain't here now, so this is going to be great." He begins to move himself, only to be distracted.
BY THE REVVING OF A CAR. When Tran turns it up and screeches in there, Birdie begins to chuckle. "Hahaha. Oi, this'll be bloody messy." And when R. Mika asks him about friends, Birdie just shakes his head. "Maybe. But not that." But that's when R. Mika jumps towards him, once more, like she did last time. Birdie knows something like that's coming.
You can tell when he really puts his chest out there, ready for her to smack. And when she does, she nails him back a few feet.
Which then Birdie uses to his advantage, charging like a bull towards Rainbow Mika, trying to catch her on the horn in a quick, but powerful, stab with his head. It's SHARP. That's for sure. "Eyyyaaahhh!"
Oh, isn't that cute. They're getting a little nervous. Or, well, one of them is, at least. Perhaps this is the perfect time to charge ahead and turn them into road paste. But, then again...Dr. Tran doesn't want to do this too fast, doesn't want to end the fight before it even begins! He, in his benevolence, shall grant both R. Mika and Birdie just a bit more time to brawl amongst themselves.
in the meantime, though, the engine is revving. It's like the car itself is getting impatient. Thirsty. FOR BLOOD?!
COMBATSYS: Tran switches his Mindset.
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Tran 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Tran gathers his will.
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Tran 0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: R.Mika blocks Birdie's Bull Horn.
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Tran 0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/-----==|
Ooh! She hit! But it feels like he's just taking it... like a brick wall or something. Bouncing on the ground a few times, Rainbow Mika rubs her rear and starts to push up to her feet.
Then there's a crazy man with a sharp head stabbing at her skull. Even though she manages to slide her arm up to stop the pain, the attack cracks against bone and causes the blonde to wince sharply. Baby blue eyes dart over to the pace car and she blinks a few times.
Deciding that her best course of action might just be something simple, she rushes in toward Birdie. Doubling over as she runs in, she attempts to launch him backward toward the vehicle in tackle.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika successfully hits Birdie with Fast Throw.
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Tran 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/----===|
Rainbow Mika obviously knows how to throw herself around. That's for sure. Birdie literally goes flying as she hurls him across the field at the car, but unfortunately for her, he stops short, bouncing off the asphalt infront of it, Birdie has no intention of getting smacked by the truck. So instead, Birdie pushes up and away, rolling towards the side.
When he gets up, he just waits for R. Mika to get up. And even if she doesn't, he's coming after her with hi big meaty hands, attempting to literally deliver her a pummel, here and there, as he throws himself around, and in a bad way. "Oi, your a little ruffian aren't ya. Well, I'll teach you to throw others in traffic!"
And so, Birdie tries. However, R. Mika may also have tools of destruction! Who knows. BIRDIE DOESN'T.
There we go. Now it's time to go. It's like the moment Tran's been waiting for. Go Time. The engine revs, one last time, and then Dr. Tran does not just shift into gear. No, that would be a pale, empty description of his magnificent, action-packed feat. Dr. Tran kicks it up into gear, slamming it home!
The tires squealing again are perhaps the only warning given, as the car rockets forward immediately afterward, leaving only a dark patch and the pungeant scent of burning rubber behind it. It's moving toward the both of them - WHO WILL AVOID THE IMPACT, AND WHO WILL BE TURNED INTO A PAVEMENT PIZZA!? Dr. Tran doesn't even care, that's why this is great!
COMBATSYS: Birdie successfully hits R.Mika with Medium Punch.
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Tran 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: R.Mika dodges Tran's Random Weapon.
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Tran 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/---====|
Rainbow Mika does have tools of destruction! Only, she's forgotten to use them! Attempting to get out of the way of the pummeling -and- the speeding vehicle, she's got to go with the lesser of two evils. So! Instead of avoiding the fists, she throws herself -RIGHT- into them so that she can take the punches.
Eh. At least it stops her from getting run over!
Dusting herself off once she gets to her feet, she rubs the side of her head. "Man, you hit hard!" Whatever happens to Birdie with that car, she's situating herself in front of him. An attempt is made to hook both her hands around his head and her feet on his hips. Shifting her weight if she manages to snag this position, she falls backwards toward the asphalt and attempts to flip Birdie up and over her.
COMBATSYS: Birdie endures Tran's Random Weapon.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Birdie fails to interrupt Medium Throw from R.Mika with Bull Spike.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/---====|
As Dr. Tran literally moves to mow them both down, well, Birdie's not getting out of the way. Unlike R. Mika, he feels like taking the blow HEAD ON. And he sure does.
As Tran moves to run him over, Birdie just gets ready to move. He jumps, at the last second, only to get plastered by the front of the car. It hurts his legs, almost breaking them in some places, as he throws himself towards R. Mika, head first with the bull spike, trying to impale her off of the momentum the car gave him.
But it doesn't happen. Instead, R. Mika gets her hands around his neck and sits backwards on the asphalt with him. It hurts, but less than the car. He feels some of his bones creaking and back beginning to protest.
He's still not giving up.
Aw, man. Dr. Tran's windshield just got cracked. Birdie's a big guy. Seriously, it's like a legion of spiders just took a crap all over the doctor's field of vision. Well, that's shitty. Tran slams the brakes, and the car skids to a halt, doing a complete 180. Tran leans out the window, and then flips his visor up.
"Hey, jerk! You're supposed to go under the car, not over it! Do you know how much of a pain in the ass this is?" He fips his visor down again, and then mashes the 'go' pedal down again, trying to catch Birdie again for daring to partially wreck his ride.
Avoiding car? Check. Avoiding Birdie? Thankfully she doesn't have to just yet. That bull spike doesn't quite hit her, because she's moving just a little bit faster.
For a second, she thinks that the mad driver in the car is yelling at her but he's actually looking in a different direction. Good thing too, because upsetting a guy that's got a bigger weapon than you do? Really sucks. Thankful that he's not gunning the engine at her, she leaps up into the air and grins. Then she dashes off to grab an impact wrench. Lifting it up, she glances at it and blinks at it a few time. "Uhm... huh... no clue... but it looks STURDY ENOUGH!" Brandishing it like a club, she leaps at Birdie and attempts to bash him on the head a few times. Working out some frustration? Tension? Just trying to keep him from slamming his head into hers again?
COMBATSYS: Birdie endures Tran's Random Weapon.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|=======\=------\1 Birdie
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R.Mika 0/-------/---====|
COMBATSYS: Birdie interrupts Random Weapon from R.Mika with The Birdie.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 1/------=/=======|
CARS?! BIRDIE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO CARS. As Tran calls at him, saying that he should go UNDER the car, Birdie just ain't having that. Instead, Birdie literally throws himself forward, exploding off of the back of the car once more, breaking his legs EVEN MORE. He really shouldn't, but DAMN if he's listening to you. THIS IS IT. ALL OR NOTHING. Well, close. Don't tell Birdie that.
Firing off, he's sent hurling towards R.Mika, but this time, she's grabbed an impact wrench, but when she leaps at him, she bashes him in the head only a single time. It pains him, but hell, he's flying through the air right towards Rainbow Mika, so all the wrench does is to serve as a momentary distraction, only for his true HEAD BUTT comes to fruition, the cutting bull horn of Birdie finally landing into the chest of one R. Mika.
Taking her to the asphalt, he grabs a tire jack and begins to beat into her afterwards, because he's not having any of that.
"Cheep cheep!" Birdie manages through his bleeding visage, since well, DAMN is he hurting. But damn if it isn't worth it.
Man, what's wrong with this guy? Dr. Tran's run him over twice now, and each time he's just thrown himself into it! It's pretty hardcore, but...kind of worrying, too. After all, Tran's supposed to be working with him later...what if he's retarded? That would be kinda suck.
Oh, wait, that's right. Tran's supposed to be on his side. Kind of. It has been pretty skewed up to this point, come to think. The doctor keeps driving, making a slow, leisurely turn at the end of the pit, in order to properly line up again. The car accelerates, as Tran pushes it To The Limit, leaning halfway out the window to see, scarf flapping wildly behind him. As the car rushes toward Mika, Tran shouts something. He's also waving his arm wildly at Birdie. That means get out of the way, stupid!
COMBATSYS: R.Mika dodges Tran's Random Weapon.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 1/------=/=======|
Apparently Rainbow Mika didn't have enough oomph added to her impact wrenching ways. When she only manages to hit him once, she's able to flail her arms about randomly in the seconds before the head butt comes to fruition. The poor air gun goes flying across pit row and nearly lands on a pit crew member.
The buxom blonde turns to yell an apology to the guy, but she hears a car sneaking up. Yeeking extremely loudly she runs across the asphalt in order to avoid the vehicle. Both pigtails and arms are flying about wildly, and the teeniest of sweatdrops can be seen at the side of her head.
Wait! Why is she running away from the car? It's the perfect tool! Dashing back toward it, she jumps atop the hood. There she balances for all of two seconds before she's leaping off of it again, this time toward Birdie! A hand shoots out to smack him across the head before trying to lock him up in a headlock. Upon landing this, she attempts to squeeze his neck a few times before performing a running bulldog.
COMBATSYS: Birdie endures R.Mika's Rainbow Dynamite.
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Tran 0/-------/----===|=======\-------\0 Birdie
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
R.Mika 0/-------/------=|
Birdie's not getting run over this time. Oh no. Instead, it's something much worse. Oh and boy does it come. Getting out of the way of DR. TRAN and his MAGICAL CAR MACHINE, Birdie gives him a thumbs up. Rainbow Mika gets out of the way because she's chicken. Birdie likes cars. And getting hit with them only stands to make you manlier.
And when he does, oh he enjoys it greatly. But no car.
Instead, it's Rainbow Mika, slamming him upon his head, before locking himk up in a head lock and squeezing his neck, and even into the running bulldog. Man. Birdie is just getting thrown around. But you know what?
He's trying to. Once thrown around a great deal, Birdie tries the next best thing in his arsenal. Going with it. When she performs the running bulldog, he performs the Holy Crap you can't be, by aiding in with the strike, running through it, getting slammed, only to use what's left of that momentum to try to stab her in the stomach, suddenly, with his Bull Horn.
And it might be for the FINAL TIME.
"EYAAAAAAAAAAAH!" He grunts, and if he hits it or not, he falls flat on his face, done with this fight. He's outta here!
COMBATSYS: Birdie can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
R.Mika 0/-------/------=|===----\-------\0 Tran
Oh, well, there goes Birdie. Truly, it is game over time. The battle is finished. And yet, Dr. Tran feels a sense of sadness...wistful loss, as though a great time in his life has come to an end. He has to admit to himself...yes, yes this was pretty radical. Perhaps it is time for one last hurrah, a finale for his part here today.
The car swings around again, knocking over a camera (not a cameraman, who is evidently quite quick on his feet), and then blazes toward Mika once more. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAW!" Maybe nobody can hear Dr. Tran's exultant cry. That's fine, because the real important thing is how he just hit a conveniently placed ramp, letting the car go arcing gracefully upward into the sky...
It hangs there, frozen in time, one glorious moment.
Then it crashes down in R. Mika's general vicinity, in a huge crunch of twisted, broken metal, the car twisting and tumbling across the pavement. AWESOME.
COMBATSYS: R.Mika blocks Birdie's Bull Horn Final.
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R.Mika 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Tran
COMBATSYS: R.Mika dodges Tran's Random Weapon.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////////////]
R.Mika 0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0 Tran
Oh, sure. It's all great for Birdie to want to be manlier... but Rainbow Mika? See, she's quite happy being female! It'd be kind of hard to become the WORLD'S BEST FEMALE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLER if she was in any way male. Does this make her a chicken?
Nope! It just means she's getting out of this fight with no broken bones!
Confused as he seems to be moving -with- her running bulldog, the buxom blonde blinks those baby blues several dozen times. At the last second it dawns on her what he's doing, and she has just enough time to get her hands in the way of that nasty Bull Horn attack he's attempting to stab her with. "YEEEEOW!"
Birdie falls on his face on the pavement, but she's left standing and shaking her hands, a pained look in her face as the car swings around. Squealing tires and flying camera men are her only notification that the crazed driver is coming at her again. "ACK!" Luckily it gives her just enough warning so that she can scream her way down pit row and hide under the ramp before the car crashes down on the ground. "AIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE~!!!!" Flailing arms and body as she gets away, only to jump up when the vehicle crashes and crunches, and knock her head on one of the support bars of the ramp.
"..."
"Ow."
COMBATSYS: Tran endures Tran's Random Weapon.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > //////////////////////// ]
R.Mika 0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\1 Tran
Meanwhile, in the crashed wreckage of the car, Dr. Tran crawls out, and gives a thumbs up. He's hurt, but okay! Hooray!
COMBATSYS: R.Mika has left the fight here.
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Tran 1/------=/=======|
Log created on 22:05:26 09/22/2007 by R.Mika, and last modified on 19:34:15 09/23/2007.