Description: Crazy Zhin's Candy and Pony Emporium gets the best advertisement of its life as Momo tries to run Alan R.B. down with the Pony Express! CHAAAAARGE! (Winner: Alan)
Oh, Crazy Zhin, you so crazy! Letting a little girl like Momo run wild in your candy shop? That's just an accident waiting to happen!
Currently, everyone's favorite Momo is stuffing a backpack full of jelly beans of almost every concievable flavor-- but not Every Flavor, because some flavors are kind of gross. Seriously, jalepeno-flavored jelly beans? Yeeeech. After all, it's not stealing if SNF covers the costs, right? Whether stick-in-the-mud Alan is taking advantage of the situation as well, she has no idea, as the tennis star is wholey engrossed in her petty larceny.
Alan R. B. really fucks around in completely inappropriate places. His voice can be heard from over there by a thatch of ponies in the stables, the words themselves not really understandable but loud nonetheless. There is a snicker, an offended noise - apparently there's a girl over there - and then the furious whicker of an adorable pony.
Hoof-prints stand out lividly on the leather jacket he was wearing over his vest as Alan comes flying into the camera's view, flying right through a stand of candy and rolling to his feet amidst of shower of gumballs. Even though he was just kicked by a goddamn minihorse, he seems fine, rolling his neck like it was just a dramatic entrance, throwing his jacket aside. "I'm cool, it's cool." The boxer shakes out his vest, redoes a button, and glances over to Momo.
"Jeez, are you going to eat all those? You'll be like a tiny ball of lard."
Momo can appreciate a dramatic entrance, but that's just ridiculous. She squeals in surprise as a nearby display explodes and gumballs rain from the heavens, dropping her backpack o' goodies and covering her head. As the sugary precipitation ends, and the taunting begins, the tennis player's cheeks puff as if biting back a remark. "That's a mean thing to say to a girl, you meanie!" she declares eloquently, shaking a finger in a scolding manner. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"
But Momo is a smart girl, at least relatively so, and realizes that the only way a jerk like this would be here would be if he was forced. And considering that he's far too much of a jerk to have landed himself a wife and kids, this can only mean he's her opponent! Taking off her tennis racquet to make room for her backpack, lest she lose it in the ensuing confusion, the Taiyo student bounces cheerfully on her heels, waiting to see her suspicions confirmed.
COMBATSYS: Momo has started a fight here.
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Momo 0/-------/-------|
The blonde nonchalantly brushes hay off of his vest, then lifts his hands as the announcer starts calling the names for the cameras. "I haven't felt any shame for years, kid." Alan holds out his left hand, making a small 'bring it' gesture with his index and middle fingers... and then flips it around, legs hopping to step down on some scattered gumballs, turning his boots into impromptu roller skates!
"And if you think that's mean, just keep talking, I'm sure you'll give me plenty of ammo!" There's no hesitation from Alan, which Momo may not entirely be used to, being the adorable little girl that she is. He crouches down to bring his fists in line with her face, electricity trailing from the iron rings on his fingers as he levels a somewhat awkward straight right for her forehead.
COMBATSYS: Alan has joined the fight here.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Momo
COMBATSYS: Momo dodges Alan's Medium Punch.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Momo
Here we go, thinks Momo as Alan gestures for the fight to start, shifting her weight to better dodge whatever his first attack may be. Unfortunately, moving her foot puts it right on top of a fallen gumball, and with a startled cry the girl slips over backwards. The punch misses by a mile as a result, though Momo still rubs her bum and groans from the landing.
Clearly, it's going to be dangerous to fight in this gumball-strewn area, so the little tennis player takes the initiative to move them. She gets into a crouch and then leaps at Alan's knees, hoping to sweep the older man off his feet (shut up) and into the relatively cleen licorice section of the store. And maybe crack his head against floor in the process.
COMBATSYS: Alan dodges Momo's Quick Throw.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Momo
Maybe dangerous if you're not CUNNING and FAST and EXPERIENCED. Alan's most likely more the last than Momo is, and judging from the way his legs /blur/ as he darts to the side, scattering gumballs in his wake, he might be more of the second, too. "Ha! Watch your step, kid!"
The boxer's foot comes down once, sending a shockwave of chi that conveniently knocks gumballs right out of his way. Then he whips forward, ridiculously fast, stepping in circles around Momo. He's moving so fast he leaves outlines of himself in the air, electrical Alans crackling about and making it hard to figure out just where he is. Punches fly in at Momo from all directions randomly, in a steady rhythm: Straight, hook, hook, jab, straight, hook, uppercut, jab, jab... assuming he lands the first one, of course. If Momo gets out of the way he's not going to stand there and flail like a fool!
COMBATSYS: Alan successfully hits Momo with Storm Front.
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Alan 0/-------/------=|==-----\-------\0 Momo
Unfortunately, Momo is still getting to her feet when the shockwave comes in, and is bowled over by the larger man effortlessly. Further efforts to get to her feet are stopped by the flurry of strikes that Alan rains down from all directions, squeals of pain and surprise escaping from the tennis player. "Stop it!" she cries helplessly. Or not so helplessly. With another cry of, "Stop it, stop it, STOP IT!" she swings out her racquet to try and bat away the man. It's not much of a strike, but it's not meant to actually hurt him, just make him take a step back.
That's when she REALLY goes at it, leaping to her feet and spinning with sugar-induced speed, her tennis racquet charging with bubblegum-pink energy as she whirls around the displays, hopefully blasting back Alan and his lightning clones.
COMBATSYS: Alan has saved the state of this fight.
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Alan 0/-------/------=|==-----\-------\0 Momo
COMBATSYS: Momo successfully hits Alan with Spin Smash.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Momo
Crazy afterimages only really help when the next attack doesn't hit everything at once - which this does. Electric chi gets cut right through, images collapsing as the /real/ Alan gets knocked several feet back, only managing to twist in the air an instant before he'd land mostly on his face. "Oh, stop whining. It's a fight, you're going to get punched!" He does another sweep around him with his foot to clear the area further of gumballs, then sets out all a'sneering.
Alan R. B. takes his time coming in, fists up in front of his face, legs telegraphing a few moves that never happen. He tests Momo's defenses with a few slow, lazy left jabs decidedly designed to fail, then suddenly darts to the side, electricity flaring around his left hand as he comes in close and hard, ducking down enough to throw a short uppercut at the side of her face. "You know, if you weren't so damn short, this'd be a lot easier!"
COMBATSYS: Momo dodges Alan's Fierce Punch.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Momo
Momo easily evades the slow punches, bouncing to the left and then to the right. "Momo expected punches, not a gang-beating!" she counters. When the man bolts to her side, fast as the element he calls his own, the girl is surprised but not stunned. She leaps back and away from the uppercut, letting Alan punch air once more before she ducks down another aisle, out of sight. Should the man decide to follow her... well, he's in for a nasty surprise.
"I like being short!" the girl says as she tosses a jawbreaker into the air-- it's easily as large as her fist, the kind of jawbreaker you need to use four quarters to get out of a machine. "All of the good stuff is on the low shelves!" Her tennis racquet is swung, and with a mighty THWACK the mass of hard candy is sent flying straight for his forehead.
COMBATSYS: Alan overcomes Whale Serve from Momo with Lightning Strikes Twice.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0 Momo
Alan R. B. reacts as the jawbreaker starts going up, taking a step back and pulling back his own right hand. A little orb of lightning forms in his right hand. "You know, I really can't even respond to that." His hand lashes forward as the jawbreaker comes flying at him, and he snaps his fingers. "Strike!" A bolt of lightning cracks out, blasting into the candy and setting it a-spinnin' in place in mid-air. But that's not enough for Alan, his hand lashes back up and to the side, fingers snapping again. "Twice!" This bolt blasts the jawbreaker right apart, soaring hot and yellow straight for Momo.
"It was just so stupid, bantering against that was like trying to climb a glacier with greased hands!"
COMBATSYS: Momo reflects Lightning Strikes Twice from Alan with Racket Return.
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Alan 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0 Momo
Momo yelps as Alan shoots friggin' lightning from his fingertips, stopping the jawbreaker in mid-air, raising her racquet in preparation of it being sent back at her. Instead, though, he shoots MORE lightning, exploding the jawbreaker and splashing molten candy across the aisle.
The tennis player yelps in surprise, and focuses her will into the racquet. A pink heart glows in the middle of the net, and it is here that the lightning strikes. It courses through the weapon, sparking between the rivets along it's edge. "That doesn't even make sense!" Momo calls back. She swings the racquet, and the electricity leaps off-- and back at Alan! "If you were climbing a glacier, you would wear gloves anyway, they're really cold!"
COMBATSYS: Momo successfully hits Alan with Reflected Lightning Strikes Twice.
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Alan 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Momo
Alan's mouth pulls into a thin line as Momo reveals herself to be capable of some kind of Adorable Chi, smacking his huge manly lightning bolts right back at him. He tries to dart to the side, but zigs when he should've zagged and impacts a pony that wandered from the stable. It brays in surprise and gallops away, leaving Alan to get his own chi washed over him. He staggers back.
"Tch!" Alan takes a moment to collect himself, folding his hands to tighten his rings, cracking his knuckles, and then completely dropping his stance. "Right... time to really bring it home." He relaxes, energy just pulling itself out of the air to run through his body, a corona of crackling electricity surrounding him. He remains at ease in the eye of the storm, taking the time to pop his shades off, brush them on his vest, and slide them back on his face.
COMBATSYS: Alan gathers his will.
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Alan 1/-----==/=======|=====--\-------\0 Momo
"Uh-oh," says the Momo as Alan drops his stance to dust himself off. Either he's really vain, or about to get serious. Clearly, this is the perfect opportunity to hightail it out of there. She bolts down the aisle and turns the corner, vanishing from sight again.
When she returns, it's from the other end of the aisle, trying to sneak up on Alan... not that yelling "Yaaagh!" as she tries to leap onto his back is very sneaky. A long line of licorice, looped over on itself several times to form a thick band, is held in her hands. She tries to bring it over Alan's head and tug it back into his neck as hard as she can, hopefully asphyxiating the man and bringing him to the ground with the force.
COMBATSYS: Alan blocks Momo's Throat Racket.
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Alan 1/---====/=======|======-\-------\0 Momo
It's a classic move - the assassin appears to garrote the spy, the spy jams both of his thumbs up in the nick of time. Then, a struggle ensues. Alan loops his thumbs around the band of licorice, the corona of electricity sinking back into his body as he tenses up. "You ain't even seen the... beginning of the 'uh-oh,' kid." He gives one hard buck, flipping Momo up and over him. It's not a combat maneuver by any means, and it'll be easy to recover out of it. But the question is whether that'll happen in time to get away from this one.
Alan R. B.'s fighting style isn't nearly... "loose" enough to allow for grabbing candy and using it as weapons. The audience is probably enjoying Momo's side of things a bit more because of that aspect. Alan, however, has really big, flashy attacks. People love really big, flashy attacks. He starts his move while Momo is still hopefully in mid-air, leaping into the air, balling his fists togther and keeping them close to his body. Thunder rumbles like an oncoming storm as chi starts to swirl around Alan's fists, everything just forcing outward as he somersaults toward Momo. He comes out of his spin as he nears the student, expanding out, fists held over his head, just streaming power. Packets of pop rocks quake dramatically in their boxes, ponies snort and stamp, a man buys a stack of taffy and leaves without even giving it another look, because some people just aren't fight fans and don't even care.
"Now this is the real uh-oh!" Alan's hands come down at Momo in a powerful hammer blow, throwing a huge wave of electricity out ahead of them, knocking things all over the place and blowing out a good portion of the floor. The roar of thunder is deafening, but Alan can still be heard over it.
"MJOLNIR!"
COMBATSYS: Momo endures Alan's Mjolnir.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|=======\====---\1 Momo
'Uh-oh' cannot even begin to describe it as Momo is flipped over and thrown off of Alan, She sees the brewing stormclouds as she flips through the air, everything moving in slow motion for her. The energy crackling-- nay, SURGING around her opponent as he leaps into the air after her. She attempts to brace herself, but really, there's no bracing again a man trying to spike you with DEATH.
The fists impact, energy coursing through the tennis player as she cries in pain and is blasted HELLA FAR, crashing through several aisles and clear through a scale model of the Empire State Building made of Juicy Fruit, which promptly collapses.
For a while, everything is quiet. There is no sign nor sound of Momo-- is it possible that Alan has one the match?
Hell no!
Without a warning, a pony suddenly LEAPS over the collapsed pile of gum, a slightly frazzled Momo riding atop it. "CHAAAAARGE!" she yells, slapping the horse's rump with her racquet and thoroughly agitating it. Rearing back dramatically for a moment with it's appropriately-sized rider silhouetted against a large window, it drops its head and gallops down the path of destruction, aimed to trample poor ol' Alan.
COMBATSYS: Alan dodges Momo's Random Weapon.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|=======\=====--\1 Momo
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Alan 0/-------/-------|=======\=====--\1 Momo
The energy blows Alan up and back, setting him twisting through the air until he lands perfectly straight on his feet, a wave of excess electricity blowing out in a shockwave. For once, electricity is no longer surging around Alan's skin, and his movements are clearly slower as he methodically pulls a cigarette from his pocket along with a small lighter, putting flame to tobacco in a more traditional fashion than he normally does. The blonde exhales a plume of smoke, and then takes a surprised step back as Momo RIDES A GODDAMN PONY AT HIM. "Jesus Christ!"
Unable to rely on his speed as he usually does, the boxer has to react fast. He kicks out to the side, hooking his boot around a massive novelty chocolate rabbit and bringing it down. The horse hesitates for just an /instant,/ just enough for Alan to dive out of the way, the move lengthening as electricity starts to crackle back into his body. He comes back to his feet, diving up at her atop the passing pony.
"Let's get this over with!" Alan's left hand lashes out to wrap around Momo's neck and drag her down off the pony. Chi floods from his hand along with the brief chokehold, crackling out into Momo's little body fiercely. Alan doesn't try to bear her all the way to the ground if he manages it, instead flinging the tennis...ist down in mid-flight.
COMBATSYS: Momo dodges Alan's Dynamo Grip.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|=======\=====--\1 Momo
The slight hesitation in her pony's step clues Momo in early that something is wrong, and glancing around the not-so-great beast's head reveals that Alan is moving out of the way. Clearly, this leaves her at a disadvantage, because he'll be able to blindside her as she rides past him. This must not happen!
And indeed, it doesn't. Glancing up, the tennis player sees one of those whirly airplanes attached to the ceiling. You know the kind, the ones that are attached by a thread to the ceiling and spin around in a circle. Nobody really knows why they get hung up in the first place, maybe to attract the chilluns. Whatever the reason, it's clear to Momo what she must do. Standing upon the pony's back as it gallops across the ruined aisles, she LEAPS off of it's back, just barely evading Alan's grip, and grabs onto the toy plane!
Of course, it's really not meant to have anyone hanging off of it, and the string attaching it to the ceiling promptly snaps. With a "Whoops!", Momo falls down into the next adjacent aisle. An "Ow, my butt," soon follows.
But once again, the girl is down but not out! Looking around, she finds herself in the peppermint aisle, with rows upon rows of candy canes on either side of her. In particular, some hefty peppermint sticks leap out at her-- candy-cane striped and easily large enough to club a man with. The girl looks at her racquet, looks at the sticks, then looks at her racquet again.
...
A fearsome battlecry of "EAT DELICIOUS CANDY!" echoes across the room as Momo races around the end of the aisle and back to Alan. Her tennis racquet is stuck into her backpack o' candy, and she now wields dual peppermint sticks. "Rar!" she yells as she leaps into him once again, trying to viciously beat him with her sugary weaponry.
COMBATSYS: Alan dodges Momo's Strong Punch.
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Alan 0/-------/-------|=======\=====--\1 Momo
Electricity stabs out from Alan's hand hungrily, curling around nothing but air as Momo manages to jump up and over. His legs snap and twist, the momentum pivoting him in the air so that he doesn't end up getting hit in the back of the face.
That's where you're hit /through/ the back of the head.
Heavy boots scatter fallen candy - this place is a damn wreck by now - and an eyebrow creeps up over shades as Momo comes flying at him like a whimsical Drizz't. "Oh come on, this is ridiculous." He pulls up his fists and just tenses up, reducing his profile as Momo starts swinging candy. He darts left and right, ducking under swipes and weaving through horrible red-and-white blows. Finally, he picks his moment, and steps inside the range of the sticks, dropping into a low crouch. Power flares dangerously around his right hand. "Who do you think I am... Daniel Stern?" Making a reference just barely before Momo's time, Alan shoots up, fist viciously leaping for Momo's chin. The force of the swing carries Alan up into a leap, where he opts to sail forward to put himself behind Momo.
COMBATSYS: Momo fails to interrupt Uppercut Punch from Alan with Momo Crush.
- Power fail! -
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Alan 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Momo can no longer fight.
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Alan 0/-------/-----==|
"Hold still!" Momo says as she whiffs again and again. The taunt, as is expected, goes right over her head, and she counters with, "If he's someone that gets beat up with candy canes, then yes!" Finally, Alan chooses his moment, and the tennis player aims to take full advantage of that. She winds back her own fist, aiming to stab him square in the face while he's crouching, and continue on with MASSIVE MOMO MAYHEM... but is just a hair too slow.
Alan's fist impacts Momo's chin with a satisfying crack. She's carried up with him for a few feet before sailing off on her own, flying in a gentle arc over several aisles of candy and into the pony stalls. Damn her light weight.
A splash greets Alan's ears as his opponent lands in a trough of water that should probably have been changed out a week ago. But this time, there is no pony coming out of nowhere, no candy kamikaze. No, mighty Momo has struck out.
Wait, no, that's baseball. Well, whatever, what matters is that the girl is down for the count.
Alan R. B. passes through his own arc of lightning dancing in the air as the uppercut carries himself forward, though Momo flies ahead faster. He whips his arm to the side at the apex of his jump, throwing off an arc of electricity, and then lands easily. He didn't even notice Momo's attempt to stymie his punch with violence, though he probably will laugh about it when watching the tape. He always watches his fights, win or lose.
Alan's bruised up, but he's come out of fights much worse before. He flicks the butt of his cigarette forward, causing a slight hiss as it hits the trough next to Momo, and bends down to scoop up one of the candy canes. Crunch.
The smirk burning fiercely on his face with the cocky heat of a thousand suns that are really full of themselves, Alan gestures out at Momo with the cane. "Was that all you could bring to the table? Easiest buck I ever earned!" He chucks the cane over his shoulder and heads toward the camera crews, to give his insult-laden post-fight interview.
COMBATSYS: Alan has ended the fight here.
Log created on 16:57:27 08/20/2007 by Alan, and last modified on 06:22:01 08/28/2007.