Description: Hotaru and Joe barely put aside their differences long enough to give Ralf a good fight. Only, they don't really put aside their differences. They do give the Ikari a hard fight though resulting in a catastrophic failure of the fighting stage! (Result: Draw Match)
God. DAMN. It's cold up here! Whatever slack-jawed, retarded yokel of a hillbilly that decided people should fight way up in the Arctic, where not even Judas himself would have been force to suffer. It's some negative Stupid degrees Fahrenheit (because only commies and Canadians use Celsius), with a windchill of "Your ass cheeks freezing RIGHT the hell off", and not a degree higher! It's so cold that the only cameras set up are spiked into the ground, left on their own save for the officials' watchful eye...from the safety and warmth of their Winnebago. Wussies.
Oh, but Ralf, he's too good to sit in the heat. Senor Jones is wearing winter wear, sure, but only because he doesn't want to lose important body parts: legs, arms, nipples, etc etc. His parka is well-oversized, a thing of dark blue with fake fur trimming the entirety of its hood. While it covers his arms, even a bit beyond the retardedly thick gloves he's got on, he's still FREEZING HIS ASS OFF. Arms are tucked and folded against his chest tightly, his back arched in a slight hunch. "...Swear I'm gonna kill that stupid Howard..." he grumbles, not to anyone in particular.
Well, maybe to the little friend he has waddling next to him. For SOME reason, this version of The Arctic Circle has penguins, and an adult of the species follows mister Jones right along, left, right, left, flopping its big-ass orange feet without nary a care. "Don't you look so smug, you little bastard!" Reaching out, he snatches the little wooden mini-keg off from around the penguin's neck, pulling out the cork and pulls a short sip from it...because everyone knows that liquor helps keep you warm.
At least, when Ralf gets to the cameras, to the point where his cleats start scraping against the edge of the large ice bridge he was directed towards earlier today, he's not talking to the little black and white bird anymore.
Once again into the wacky adventures of the weekly SNF extravaganza. In an ideal world, where everything is organized and operates smoothly from start to finish, Hotaru would have been told about where her fight was scheduled ahead of time and who she would be fighting and who she would be paired up with. It seems things are so very rarely that organized, however, and unfortunately for her, some of the obfuscation is deliberate. If she knew ahead of time who her partner for this fight was supposed to be, she might have pulled a Yamazaki and boycotted!
'Dress warm.' was the only warning she was given before embarking on the trip. For the Southtown native used to sweltering summer heat, 'dressing warm' meant something on the order of bringing a jacket, showing up in a full deep winter survival kit. Which is why at first she thought her blue Chinese styled long coat would suffice. That is until the plane kept flying further and further north.
As the the terrain visible outside the young fighter's window changed from city-scapes to vast, ice flecked tundra... which eventually gave way to the endless frozen expanse that is the Artic, the girl began to realize that this was looking to become the most miserable SNF ever conceived! The SNF staff, realizing that there had been a mixup in communicating the locale of the fight to the Kenpo artist tried their best to make amends before sending poor Futaba out to fight. Which is why she has an ordinary black headband that goes over her ears. "T-thanks," she had murmured before being dropped off.
Arms folded tightly in desperation, the frozen kid gets let off the nearby parked helicopter to fend for herself. Pacing back and forth on a small, low arch made out of ice, she glances up to see the penguin that brought a tag-along human and Hotaru's eyes widen. Ignoring Ralf all together and for a moment forgetting the cold, Hotaru hurries over to his black feathered friend, "Oh! Mister Humboldt!" she gasps, bending down to hug the bird around the neck, "You're looking very distinguished today!" Maybe this trip won't be all annoying after all.
Where is Joe Higashi? It's a question on the minds of the event organizers that are frantically scrambling to get a status update on the helicopter that was supposed to be delivering the fighter to the venue. After about ten minutes of frantic phone calls and screaming at interns, the helicopter appears on the horizon and lazily touches down nearby, sending waves of dry snow and ice crystals flying up into everyone's face. The first person to step out of the helicopter is Joe's manager, the ever illustrious Chaz Periwinkle, the man who, in the spirit of the grand SNF fight tradition, has worn his best gold lamé suit that blinds anyone who happens to look directly at him. He flashes his best 'Chaz Smile<TM>' at the event organizer and finger guns the man enthusiastically as he appologizes for the delay. It seems that Mr. Higashi didn't own any real winter wear and had to make a quick pitstop for a change of clothing. It's all good though... right?
This day was a mixed blessing. In one hand, Joe was once again cruising the SNF circuit and getting his name back out into the fighting world, something his reputation and his wallet needed badly. On the other hand, the only heavy winter outfit he could find at the last minute was an overstuffed hot pink parka and some lime green oversized winter pants that might make people mistake him for MC Hammer at any moment. No skullcap could possibly contain that might hair, so all Joe has on is a pair of behind-the-head earmuffs and some stylish ski goggles. He looks ridiculous and he knows it. Oh well, if he wins today, he won't care!
Chaz, knowing what's good for him for once, takes shelter with the rest of the SNF Officials and gives a thumbs up to Joe, who waddles off towards the ice bridge, where it looks as though the other fighters had already gathered. Even under ten layers of clothing he was still cold, and worse than that, he couldn't move! How the hell was he supposed to fight in this crap anyhow? It didn't matter, Joe was psyched, and when he's psyched, there's nothing he can't do!
Today's match was a 2 on 1, and Joe was supposed to have a teammate, Chaz didn't know who it was supposed to be, or at least he said he didn't, which is probably how he got Joe to do the fight to begin with. If only Joe had known who his partner was supposed to be, he probably wouldn't be on top of the world, freezing his butt right off. The only person he could see as he started up onto the bridge was Ralf, and even though Joe couldn't see his face, he knew who he was. Large slabs of meat like Ralf are unmistakable at any angle. The other fighter was kneeling down and messing with some sort of stumpy bird, but it didn't take long for Joe to figure out who it was. He narrowed his eyes in his best serious look, but to anyone watching it just looked like he was having trouble seeing. Well, this didn't seem like a fair fight at all, but Joe wasn't going to complain about being paired with Ralf against Hotaru, she deserved a good thrashing anyways. Joe shuffles up next to Ralf and nudges the large man with his highly padded elbow, "Two guys against a weak little girl? Think we can handle it?" Oh Joe, if only you knew.
Oh, what glorious fortune! Ralf doesn't have to wait that long for people in this god-forsaken place, because there's someone else a-walkin' this way! The young girl MUST be part of the act, because there's no way anybody else would dare come traipsing out here. But to come out so underdressed? Hotaru must be insane. The fact that she leaps upon the penguin that started following him of its own accord and acts like she knows the thing clinches it.
"Hey, HEY!" His voice doesn't carry as much bravado as he might like; the mouth-breathing of the chilly air is wreaking havoc on the poor girl's vocal chords. He'll warm up once he gets moving, perhaps, but...for now, there's the matter of his little hooch-hound! "Leggo of him, I found him fair and square!" Scooping down, he grabs the penguin in one arm, Hotaru's midsection in the other, and picks them BOTH up, trying to keep them separated. "You want a penguin, get your own! Shortround here's comin' back home with me." The penguin is jostled a little, something it OBVIOUSLY doesn't like by the way it works its flippers and feet, trying to get down. "Aren't you, Captain Rumbletum? You'll like it back at the base. You can live in my shower or somethin'."
While this is all going on, Joe comes up, and...and nudges him! Poor Hotaru and Captain Whatever, they get jerked around as the Ikari turns, giving the two bestbuds4life a good look at one another. "We? The hell are you talking about, we? The only teammate I've got today is this guy, right here!" He finally sets the penguin down, straightening the corded keg slung around the thing's neck. "Now get over there," he adds, attempting to shove Joe forcefully up the ice bridge. Better be quick, though! It can't be that sturdy!
The first thing that reminds Hotaru that she isn't in her own little world is Ralf so rudely interrupting the friendly exchange she was having with the regal penguin at his side. "Why yes, it really is so very cold here. I'm not sure how you put up with it. Would you like to come home with me? It's a lot warm-!" And then with a squeak Hotaru finds herself easily picked up by Ralf and there's not a lot the ninety pound feather-weight can do about it.
At first she makes 'grabby' gestures with her hands, desperately trying to reach out for the artic bird, "But Baron Pontmercy isn't interested in staying in some stuffy shower!" she protests as she shifts from trying to reach the penguin to working on prying herself out of Ralf's arm. This endeavor comes to an abrupt end as the powerful man turns around to face Joe and Hotaru's eyes widen, held face level with Joe's ridiculous pink parka. "What kind of stupid..." she begins to grouse, feeling a bit peeved at being denied her penguin friend by this brute. But then her eyes stray upward to the goggle-covered face of the infamous kick boxer and Hotaru's mouth hangs open with surprise. That crazy-haired idiot is ALWAYS ruining her SNFs!
But wait... maybe... just maybe the SNF officials have finally seen fit to pit her against that miserable jerk once and for all. And not only that, but to seal the deal, they gave her back up in the form of the powerful man who's holding her back from lunging for Joe's earmuffs this very second! This is going to be the greatest SNF ever! "Hey, put me down! Let's get that guy!" the pig-tailed girl flails.
Teamwork was about trust, respect, and most of all, not hating your teammate. So far, none of these requirements were being met, and that meant bad things for the coming battle. How was Joe going to fight when the person who was supposed to have his back was someone who couldn't be trusted to not punch him in the back of the head when he wasn't looking? Joe slides up the ramp as he pushed, his simple sneakers not really doing the job of keeping him stable as he flails his arms, desperately trying not to lose his balance. He stops just before cresting the top of the arch and turns around, eyeing the two fighters, "Are you sure? There has to be some sort of mixup. There's no way they'd pair me up with _her_." What Joe doesn't know, is that they most certainly would pair up two people like that. In fact, it was one of their favorite things to do.
Joe eyes the flailing Hotaru and just shakes his head, letting out an annoyed sigh, his breath crystallizing immediately as it hits the cold arctic air. "Pull yourself together Short Stuff, or I'll pull it together for you." He tried to sound intimidating, but who can sound imposing when dressed like a care bear reject? Joe flexes beneath the heavy layers of clothing and drops into a stiff stance that surely can't be good for much of anything. "And don't think I'm going to let you ruin my chance for a comeback. I'll take you both on if I have to!" Joe shivers slightly and motions for Ralf to make the first move, "Come on Meatloaf, let's see what you've got in those ham fists of yours."
COMBATSYS: Joe has started a fight here.
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Joe 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Ralf has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
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Joe 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Ralf
COMBATSYS: Hotaru has joined the fight here on the left meter side.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/-------|
A moment or five is given to looking between Joe and Hotaru, back and forth, his faux-fur-framed face full of ...something like confusion that would continue this alliteration. Try as she might, Ralf's cold-locked limb is like a meaty prison. It's almost like he doesn't notice the little thing struggling so hard! Or maybe he does, and he's just making it seem that he doesn't. It IS the sort of teasing that he would do!
"HEY! Shut up for a minute, will ya?" That's Hotaru that he's yelling at, of course! And damned if he doesn't try to grind his knuckles against the top of her head to try and drive that order home. "I'm not your teammate either! God, don't you guys read the billings before trying to beat people up? I mean seriously!" And people call HIM dense? At least he knows who he's supposed to be fighting! And, from the look of it, this...is more like babysitting than fighting. The corners of Mister Jones's lips tug downward, even as he shoos the little penguin away. Or tries to; despite not liking being held, it still seems to want to follow the Ikari for some reason. It just...sits there and makes this...this...
"MEEP."
...Yeah. That. But enough! This arguing, this goofing off, this warming up time is over! Hotaru is lifted up, grabbed by the waist and hoisted high over Ralf's head. Out of the frying pan, into the fryer, turn my brown eyes blue or something, whatever. "Now GET..." he starts, rearing back. "Over on your OWN TEAM!" There's a crunch of spikes digging into the ice, a horrible grunt of effort, and the big lug flings Hotaru head-first at Joe like some kind of human javelin!
At about the time Ralf tells her to clam up already, it has started to sink into Hotaru's cold addled mind that no, Ralf isn't her partner. Nor is he Joe's partner. In fact... She stops struggling as she puts the match up together in her head. Looking desperately toward the penguin, she asks, "Are you sure I can't just have Duke Windsor on my te-Gah!" She starts flailing again at knuckles in her head
But she doesn't have much time to plead her case as she finds herself lifted up by the waist, given a birds eye view of the icy 'paradise' that is to be the stage for their fight. "Wait, okay! I'll go-!" And then she's sent hurling toward Joe head-first. Why do these things always seem to happen to her?
But fine. Now she knows what the fight is /supposed/ to be. But that doesn't mean she can trust that no good Joe Higashi for one second. She'll have to keep a close eye on him and watch out for the inevitable treachery that he is no doubt going to spring on her at the most inopportune moment of the fight. In spite his insistance to the contrary, she bets he would throw this fight just to spite her. That's the kind of man he is!!
Hotaru doesn't really have long to think about all this though as she's on a collision course for the kick boxer. Clenching her hands and squinting her eyes, all the pig-tailed torpedo can do is make the best of it. It is some solace to think that she might be about to inflict a substantial amount of hurt on Joe... even if not entirely intentionally!
COMBATSYS: Hotaru focuses on her next action.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Ralf successfully hits Joe with Large Thrown Object.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/----===|
Ralf was a big guy, but his attacks were pretty slow and Joe wasn't too worried about getting out of the way of the Flying Hotaru. A simple sidestep would do, and then he could counterattack properly. Unfortunately, without the aid of some sort of shoes with actual traction, Joe's sidestep doesn't go anywhere at all. In fact, as the panic of him not actually moving sets in, Joe runs in place much like a cartoon character would as they were trying to run away. Hotaru slams into his chest, causing him to double over in pain. If this were the worst of the attack, that'd be no problem, but the force of the blow sends him slowly sliding to the top of the ice bridge and then down the other side, his feet moving quickly to try and stop his descent. Joe slides right down the other side and falls over at the bottom, disappearing quickly beneathe a drift of snow. Silence follows for quite some time, and indeed Joe is beneath the snow pondering whether or not it is even worth getting up, but he wasn't going to give Hotaru the satisfaction of ruining yet another of his fights.
Joe bursts from the pile of snow with renewed energy and begins his difficult walk back up the bridge, his pounding stomps sounding impressive against the ice, but doing nothing for the structural integrity of the venue. He reaches the top and shakes his fist at Ralf, "That was a low blow! You won't knock me out of here so easily!" The annoyed Higashi lunges forward and ducks down quickly, bringing his right hand upwards in a powerful uppercut that forces the air itself to bend to Joe's will. The swirling vortex of snow and ice moves toward Ralf, but not as fast as it usually does from Joe's point of view. In fact, it looks as though it had slowed down and was now heading straight for Joe! In reality, the forward lunge had sent Joe sliding down the bridge towards Ralf and he had overtaken his own attack. Well padded arms come up just in time to dissipate the vortex, but Joe had no way to avoid the collision that was soon to follow. So instead of trying to stop, Joe just begins to flail his arms in the hopes that it does something useful.
COMBATSYS: Ralf interrupts Bakuretsu Ken from Joe with Super Argentine Backbreaker.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|===----\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 1/-------/=======|
Ryu comes back from making food and holy christ
Phew! With Hotaru out of the way, Ralf is free to put his hands on his hips and gruff off at the bridge before him. Once again, it's just him and his little penguin pal. A glutteral sound comes from his throat, akin to a grunt. The black and white animal, though? It meeps. Again. "Yeah, I know. I hope they pull somethin' out of their ass too, this is supposed to be my vacation time. Won't be any fun if they just fall off already, huh?" The big man reaches down to pat the top of his pal's head, then looks back toward the apex of the bridge. Seems he's forgotten all about the cold, now that he's thrown something! He tends to ignore stuff easily...like if someone puts something shiny in front of him. But only if that's made out of glass!
ANYWAY.
While Joe and Hotaru are doing god knows what under what snow (remember kids, this is a FAMILY show,) it's time to start heading up there. If the kids think they're gonna slack off this whole match, they have another thing coming!
And then, there's Joe. Joe, who thinks running on ice without the proper footgear (see Ralf's cleats) is acceptable, and that playing with wind and pretty much becoming a tornado of punishment is effective. The sight DOES stop Ralf in his tracks however! "Oh, done making out already, are ya?" His rear leg twists as he digs in against the ice, left hand out. Fine, then! A fistfight it'll be! Or, whatever it is Joe does, which lands him a fist against the Ikari's open hand with a loud, meaty smack and the feeling of fingers, vice-like and horrible, gripping the kickboxer's entire fist.
This next part won't be at all pleasant.
A hearty tug, and Joe finds himself pulled forward, then lifted, nay, thrown skyward, sent spinning end over end in what CAN'T be good for keeping meals down! Sky, snow, more sky, the Winnebago, all pass through his vision before it all comes to a sudden stop, the man's spine colliding with a very, very hard skull, even through the padded parka! Sure, it must hurt, but that's got to be the worst of it, right? Really...how much can the following face-down slam into the ice bridge REALLY hurt?
We're talking about hurting JOE, now. The bridge itself holds firm, but creaks and pops for a second before falling silent again.
Buried in the same drift that concealed Higashi for a long moment, Hotaru is reminded quite harshly that cold snow is cold! Struggling out of the pile and getting to her feet, she wastes time brushing herself off and shaking the Chinese styped long coat she has on. The coat meant for keeping off a stiff chill not holding back the freezing death of the Artic! But Joe is off to actually do what they're supposed to do this fight. Take down that hooded tough guy (And steal his coat!).
She reaches the top of the archway as Joe goes sliding down into his own attack. "Oh jeez. Do a serious attack!" Her own shoes are hardly made for this environment but the girl is light on her feet and able to compensate for the most part, sliding to a stop. "Making out!? I don't have anything to do with that rooster haired klutz!" She falls quiet though as Ralf briefly introduces the kick boxer to the stratosphere. Oh... that didn't look good at /all/.
Breathing in a gulp of icy cold air, Hotaru leans forward and slides down the archway back at Ralf. With a quick hop Hotaru ends up using the fallen Joe as a springboard before she attempts run right up the front of Ralf like a set of stairs. If her feet can't get traction on the ground, maybe his shin, knee, stomach, chest, and shoulders will do? If she manages to pull it off, she'll spring from his shoulders into a backflip back toward the apex of the bridge, reclaiming the high ground.
It took Joe a few moments to realize what was going on as he left the ground. Time seemed to slow down as he spun around in midair, and he even took a moment to admir the view from up here. Unfortunately, he looked down and saw what his future held, and as he plummeted back to earth into Ralf's waiting grasp, Joe's 'Noooooooooooooo' could be heard echoing across the barren wasteland, as could the multiple crunches that follow. The Rooster-Headed Klutz had closed his eyes after the first crunch against his spine, and even as his body slid down the bridge once more, he looked rather peaceful. His mind drifted to warmer, more comfortable climates inhabited by people he didn't hate and weren't trying to kill him. Even as he slid up against a harsh outcropping of ice, Joe felt comfortable and decided that maybe staying her for a few moments wasn't a bad idea after all. Besides, Hotaru didn't need him to help take down Ralf, right?
COMBATSYS: Joe gains composure.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|===----\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Ralf Toughs Out Hotaru's Shin-Jou Tai!
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Hotaru 0/-------/-----==|=====--\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/=======|
"Man, oh MAN!" Ralf slings down Joe with the Justice, either mindless of or simply not caring about the inherent dangers of slamming someone against the thin piece of frozen water that's serving as one's safety net! Sure, the fall into the water is only...hell, what, a hundred feet? But hey! For someone who eats live grenades for breakfast (or at least, grenade-colored melons), such a thing is no problem at all! Just to add insult to injury, when Joe comes sliding back down toward him, the Ikari plants a cleated foot atop the brush-headed freak's kiester and lifts his arms, victorious with a hearty bellow! He seems to be warming up nicely, which, one might add, is easy to do when one dresses properly!
And then Hotaru has to come and try to stuff it all up.
The lug's brows furrow, a quizzical grunt rumbling in his throat. Just WHAT is she doing? She's--SHE'S JUMPING OFF HIS FOOTREST?! Fine! With his arms still extended out to his sides, he flexes nearly every muscle in his body, looking for all the world as if to try out for a spot in an Ironman competition. Only, it's hard to tell with that parka on! Rest assured, however, when Hotaru runs up his body, it's like kicking off of a brick wall, and it causes about the same amount of damage! The curved arms drop with a "ORAAAAAA!!" yell, and Joe is finally released to slide...whever the hell he wants. That's because there's soon the chink-chink-chink sound of metal nubs digging into ice as Jones starts SCREAMING up the bridge, his right arm pulled back and windmilling away! If she's not quick, she'll find out why letting one's opponent slug one full-force in the gut is a horrible, nauseating thing.
COMBATSYS: Ralf successfully hits Hotaru with Strong Punch.
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Hotaru 1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/=======|
As she kicks her way right up the front of Ralf the girl is forced to wonder if he has some kind of lead plating on under that coat of his because he doesn't really seem to be taking all that much HURTing from her rapid stomps. The backflip away in the end is less an act of successful triumph at that point and more a desperate move to put some distance between her and the Ikari.
Feet coming down at the height of the bridge, she braces for the incoming attack. Eyes widening at the speed the man comes at her, Hotaru attempts to scramble backward rather than hopping to the side to get out of his way, but that just leaves her in the path of the crushing blow to her stomach as she gets practically bent over Ralf's fist.
Reeling backward, she looks kind of sick for a moment, her face taking on a bit of a pale shade. But she never eats before fights, so the only thing she's at risk of is a dry heave before she crashes back into the snow bank with an explosion of white powder.
Feeling about like Joe at this point, the girl is slow to pry herself back to her feet. She doesn't feel quite so cold as before though as by now she's getting pretty heated up with annoyance! "HEY!" she yells supportively to her partner. "Quit lying around and help, you... you..." Her voice fades out as she remembers this is for the cameras and she doesn't really want to get filmed saying something she'll regret.
Ralf is considered a long moment before she goes at him a second time even though he's had plenty of time to prepare by now. Kicking off from the ground, she takes to the air from a few yards out. At least in the air she doesn't have to worry about slippy surfaces! Flipping forward into a knee dive for Ralf's shoulder, she aims to wedge her self at the side of his neck long enough for her to bring her other leg around into a kick for his head before she'll attempt backflipping away again. "Ya!"
Joe was already trying to pull himself back to his feet when Hotaru's 'encouraging' words reach him, prompting a sneer from the snow-covered Higashi as he brushes the dry ice from his goggles. He doesn't need advice some some teenaged hooligan, he was already formulating an excellently detailed plan in his mind, one that would astound even the greatest of tacticians. While Ralf was distracted with Hotaru's counterattack, Joe was going to hit him, and hit him HARD! Well, that was the plan at least, and we all know how well Joe's plans tend to end up in execution.
Joe starts off in a run from where his body had finally slid to a stop, his feet only slipping a few times on his way up, but these minor setbacks don't stop his powerful charge from closing the distance between him and Ralf. As he nears the towering man, who seems just a little bit taller with every hit, Joe pulls his gloves right hand back and propels it forward, using his own forward momentum to try and land a powerful punch against the back of Ralf's head. Sure, it was dirty, but a man in Joe's position isn't about to let a little thing like ethics get in the way of his amazing comeback!
COMBATSYS: Hotaru successfully hits Ralf with Rengeki Shuu.
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Hotaru 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/=======|
COMBATSYS: Ralf dodges Joe's Strong Punch.
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Hotaru 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/=======|
Well, well, well! What have we here? A two-pronged attack? TEAMWORK? Oh, how will these two crazy kids think of themselves after recapping this fight?
When Ralf slugs Hotaru right in the gut, he stands proudly atop his mountain, king of all frosty lands! His little penguin pal flaps its arms wildly and meeps loudly, wobbling back and forth like some kind of third-grader wanting to go to the potty. But now, there are people attempting to topple him! "That's it, a little more, you little--" When Hotaru comes flying in, Ralf ducks! But, apparently, not far enough, as Hotaru manages to grind her knee against his shoulder! It's not much, but against Mount Ralf, even the smallest chink in armor may offer an opening to greatness! While the girl is busy trying to pretty much sit on him and do whatever the hell odd kind of kick she's attempting (he'll never understand some people, honestly), he lurches about like some mechanical bull! His shoes dig into the ice as his legs spread, but try as he might, he can't buc the hippy off. But oh! Does he ever see Joe coming in! He leans FAR back, nearly tipping over himself with he gets a girly foot in the face! A sputter, a yell of complaint, and he's just about to go after Hotaru when Joe's fist goes screaming past his face, just missing the mark! "HO! Careful, kid!" But no worries, Jones is there to help. Instead of letting Higashi slide past again, he might find his wrist grabbed with those awful meat-hooks of his! And...perhaps lifted in the air once again. But this time, there's no throwing anyone up, not catching anyone on one's spine.
...But, perhaps a Brainbuster on a fragile stretch of ice isn't the smartest thing to do.
Backflipping through the air, Hotaru comes back down on her feet again. She manages to fair all right there, given how much thrashing around Ralf was doing trying to knock her free. She waits a moment to assess the situation, slowly sliding backwards without quite realizing it.
Hey, nice to see Joe's back in the fight! Nice to see he's still being largely ineffective! "You need to speed it up some," she calls toward Higashi, "This guy isn't slow!" Nor soft. In fact, she isn't really sure what the best way to deal with someone as tough as this opponent would be.
Though, clinging to him seemed to work out all right. How about giving that another shot? Finding her footing, the pig-tailed fighter takes off for Ralf again, this time leaping at him with a flip aimed to let her plant her hands on his shoulders. If Hotaru manages to do that, she'll land in a precarious handstand, each small hand on each opposite shoulder. And after a long moment of keeping her balance, she'll drop right back down, attempting to drive both of her feet into Ralf's back before flipping away yet again, sticking to hit and run tactics against this tough guy!
COMBATSYS: Joe interrupts Northern Lights Bomb from Ralf with Hurricane Upper.
- Power hit! -
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Hotaru 0/-------/=======|=======\=------\1 Ralf
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Joe 1/------=/=======|
What just happened? Joe's target moves out of the way of his punch and he goes sliding past the large man, only to have his wrist grabbed in an attempt to toss the already battered Joe around even more. Thankfully, Hotaru seems to be providing an adequate distraction and Joe wrenches his wrist free from Ralf's grip of doom. "I'm going as fast as I can! Why don't you try and hit a little harder!" Strange as it may seem, the two really were working together, even if they didn't realize it yet. Joe slams his foot down against the bridge, causing an unsettling crackling noise that goes unnoticed in the chaos. The stomp brings Joe's slide to stop and he brings his right hand back upwards once more without lunging forward like last time. The vortex of ice and snow formed by his fist's passing doesn't miss its mark this time, and it even gives Joe a small sense of satisfaction at finally hitting the mountain of a man.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru successfully hits Ralf with Ten Ranku-Tou.
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Hotaru 1/-------/=======|=======\===----\1 Ralf
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Joe 1/------=/=======|
Ah! What an upset! See what happens when people work together instead of bickering?! They can even topple the fleshy mountain that is Ralf! Far too close to avoid Joe's little hurricane, he tries like hell to grasp for whatever's closest (that being Joe) as he's swept up in the tempest! Of course, his grasps catch naught but air, and he's sent spinning and flying up, then left to gravity's horrible embrace as he slams back down on that bridge! Once more, there are multiple pops and creaks, now accompanied by rather LOUD crackles. Chunks of ice and snow fall from the bridge into the water below, followed by a shower of crystals that get shaken loose by the impact. And Ralf himself, he just lets out this rush of air! Perhaps it's the landing...or perhaps it's because Hotaru has seen fit to handstand on him and KICK OFF OF HIS STOMACH WHILE HE WAS DOWN. God! That's just not fair!
Even as light as Hotaru may be, her springing off of the big man proves to be too much for the fragile ice bridge's structure. The cracking sounds grow louder and more numerous, large lines cropping up across the structure's width until the middle just falls right out! Hope no one was standing on it, because it's got a bit of a fall until it hits the water with a splash.
And then...it's quiet.
And then...THE REST OF THE DAMN BRIDGE STARTS FALLING! Long chunks of ice, bits of rock and harder ice from the anchoring glaciers, all of it falls into the water below! That includes the part that Ralf was laying on, and even though he's wearing cleats, he can't get away quickly enough! Scrambling, scrambling, he reaches out for whatever's closest, something to land on and break the fall a little bit.
That something just might be Joe, if he's not smart enough to get the hell away fast enough.
And after all this...someone realizes that they have to go out into the cold to tilt the camera down, lest they miss the rest of the fight. They have it SO HARD!
One moment she's helping Joe wear down the Mighty Ralf then hopping off him to land several feet away. The girl takes a moment to rest her hands at her hips. It seems to her that Ralf is down for the moment. Maybe that quick thinking on the part of Joe and her own contribution to the combination attack managed to seal this fight up quicker than she had anticipated. "Maybe the coat isn't armored after all..." she muses out loud, reflecting on what she had thought earlier in the fight. They could pull this off. Maybe that kick boxing clown in pink isn't so bad after all! It's coming together.
And then it's falling apart. The girl pauses as she realizes that the bridge that has acted as the primary location of the battle thus far is making way too much noise for comfort. She hadn't really thought this was going to happen. Don't they bring in engineers or something to figure out if the crazy stages they pick for fights are /remotely/ safe?? "Uh oh. Run for it!"
And then she's turning to dash for a side, managing to stay just ahead of the spreading cracks like some kind of action sequence out of a movie. Grinning with confidence, the girl is just about to make it to the edge safely when everything in front of her drops out at the same time. "Ah-AH!" she exclaims as the whole world goes collapsing around her.
It's all she can do to hop from ice block to ice block as each one keeps spinning out of control under her feet. Not that she can hope to make it back up to the top but she can at least try to make her way to one of the larger chunks of ice... such as the one her powerful opponent AND hated arch nemesis are on! One last flip carries her a long ways into the air before she comes freefalling down. Eyes widening, the girl begins to flail her arms as she realizes she's on a two-foot-first collision course for her /partner/ instead of Ralf. But it's too late to correct for now!
COMBATSYS: Joe endures Hotaru's Heavy Kick.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\===----\1 Ralf
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Joe 1/----===/=======|
COMBATSYS: Joe interrupts Strong Throw from Ralf with Double Cyclone.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Ralf
[ \\\\\\\\ <
Joe 0/-------/-----==|
Joe is never allowed to celebrate anything for long. Almost as soon as he finally lands an attack on Ralf, the entire world begins to fall out from under him. His reflexes are pretty quick and he manages to hop off of the unstable portions of ice before they bring him down. Unfortunately, he misses seeing Ralf's hand dart out and grab his ankle, dragging him off the ledge and away from the safety of solid ground. As he falls, Joe sees Hotaru above him, trying to escape the same fate as he and Ralf, but she too begins the descent into the cold waters below, hoping from ice to ice to wait a second! The girl's feet slam into his chest as she bounds off of him in an attempt to reach safety, pushing him downward even faster than before, causing him to slam into a large, floating iceberg below.
Joe grunts with effort before standing up suddenly, both fists raising to the sky in what looks like a victory pose. However, when the wind begins to stir up violently around him, it's obvious that Joe is unleashing some of that pent up anger upon whomever might be unlock enough to be close. In his descent, Joe had forgotten all about Ralf, and he was really trying to hit Hotaru for sneaking in a blow when she thought no one was looking! Well, this will show her won't it!
A turnaround, indeed! At first, it was like Ralf was some sort of unstoppable beast. A hit here, a nick there, and his armor was broken down through the force of combination attacks! Knocked down, swept around, kicked, kicked, and kicked some more...and now, he's tumbling to his apparent demise! His attempts to punish Joe are in vain, though! Just holding him in the air wouldn't have done anything, and he never gets to smash the poor bastard into the ground. No! Instead, there's a furious rush of wind and ripping air, chi not only stopping Jones's descent, but reversing it. It feels, for all the world, like being stuck in a giant-ass drier tipped onto its back, just without the Snuggle freshness! Such a shame, too
But a testament to Ralf's sheer toughness, the scores of little wind-cuts and wind-burns aren't NEARLY as bad as what the parka suffers. Fake fur goes flying everywhere, the hurricane mixing with it, flecks of ice, and the nice, warm padding the used to make up the coat! By the time the torrent subsides and the victim is free to fall with a mighty splash into the freezing waters...there's hardly a damn thing left of it.
Duuuuuh dun.
The water's surface is roiled, but there's no sign of the mercenary!
DuuuuUUUUUH DUN.
Come to think of it, the waters in the arctic circle are so cold that a person can fall into shock instantly, left to sink to their watery grave.
Dun dun dun dun DUN DUN DUN DUN--!!
Just when the officials start looking over the edge to see if Jones can be found or if they'll be filing for obituaries...a fist comes smashing through the gentle raft under Joe's feet! The hand that all but literally exploded through the floater reaches about, trying to grip Joe by the ankle and pull him down into the abyss!
And down there, it ain't Davey Jones one has to worry about. It's a freshly-pissed off Ikari ready to pound the mortal HELL out of someone.
*crunch* Goes the girl's feet against Joe as Hotaru leaps off him, buying her precious more air time with which to make her next decision. To her good fortune, she manages to land some ways away from Joe at such an angle that his twin cyclones of fury aren't even headed the right way to hit her. In fact, from her perspective it looks like Joe quit messing around and just went INSANE on Ralf. She's seen that expression of his before. That look of a man bound and determined to wreck unholy misery on his moral enemy so much that he might even resort to hurling himself into his own attacks!
Fortunately for her, all that fierce anger ends up smashing into Ralf instead and Hotaru is left to stand off to the side and watch as the Ikari plummets into the water. Gasping, she can't even begin to imagine how cold that must be. She's already freezing half to death herself. Having worked up a sweat with all the exertion it took to survive the collapsing bridge, the frigid air is chilling her to the bone as the perspiration evaporates almost instantly.
"Hey! Someone?" she calls out, waving her hands up to the people leaning carefully over the cliffs above, "He's fallen in the water. Someone come help-!" Her cries are cut out as the nearby ice shatters, a powerful fist smashing through, hell bent on grasping a hold of one Joe Higashi.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru focuses on her next action.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
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Joe 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Ralf successfully hits Joe with Exploding Vulcan Punch.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
[ \ <
Joe 1/-------/=======|
The hole in the ice is only widened once Joe is pulled down through it. There's a moment of peace, and then the waters churn once more! The ice-raft shudders and tilts viciously, rocking back and forth like one of those awesome Viking Boat rides. The chaos lessens and finally disappears altogether...but who will climb out?! What happened under the water's surface?!
A hand, connected to a large, mostly-bare arm, reaches up onto the edge of the little floe, followed by another! As Ralf pulls himself out of the water, he takes in a heavy gasp of air, interrupted by the constant chattering of teeth. "G-g--g-d--c-c-c-c--" Yeah, yeah. Cold as hell, you know how it goes.
As his tornados finally blow out, Joe looks up and wipes the ice from his goggles once more, only to find Hotaru standing there without even a scratch. His brow furrows as he stares at the girl, his brain trying to figure out how he could have missed her. He heard a splash and everything! He raises his arm and points a shakey finger at her, "Don't think I didn't see that dirty hit of yours! I don't know how you dodged my attack, but you won't be so lucky next time!" Having posed dramatically already, Joe crouches into a stance and leaps forward just as the ice around his feat explode. In his mind, he thought that his leap was just that powerful, but then he feels the powerful hand pull him downward, away from his revenge! He's not really sure what happens next, because as soon as that freezing water wraps around him, Joe blacks out completely.
COMBATSYS: Joe takes no action.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
COMBATSYS: Joe can no longer fight.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
On his hands and knees, Ralf rests on his wonderful, semi-solid perch! "Man!" How nice it is to be out of that damned water! It's a wonder that he didn't pass right out and sink, he... "Uh..." He looks up, and Hotaru, she's right there. He stands up, all groans and hands on his knees to help him up. There's the hole he pulled Joe down through. Still harboring a few shudders due to the temperature, his arms are COVERED in goosebumps. But he's up! He fell, he survived, and he's back in the action! But...instead of running right at Hotaru, he looks at her, then looks back at the water behind him.
"...Didn't your boyfriend come out already?"
Surely, that WAS Joe he was beating! But...to think that he was knocked out by such weak hits, with the water resistance working against him! Joe's a bigger wuss than Ralf thought.
"Oh, god DAMMIT..." As if going back in to safe the man was a chore! But he's no real villain; he has to go back in for the man.
Seriously. Joe, you're such a wuss.
COMBATSYS: Ralf takes no action.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
Like a scene out of a horror movie set in the far off frozen parts of the world where humanity just isn't supposed to /go/, Hotaru watches as the arm comes up, latches hold of Joe, then pulls him right back through the ice into the water. Eyes widening a little as Ralf finally claws his way back onto the safety of an icy raft, the girl seems frozen in place herself at what she just saw. That... that's pretty scary!
Another furtive glance upward is made as she waves one hand while gesturing toward where Joe went under. "Someone? Mister Joe is under the water!" But she isn't completely unaware of Ralf getting to his feet either. Will he come charging at her even as the rooster-haired kick boxer sinks to a frozen grave? She stops to look at him pensively, not even really replying to the boyfriend jab other than to shake her head that he hadn't come back up yet.
She isn't surprised as Ralf turns to go pull the other man back out of the water. The tough fighter didn't strike her as a bad guy through all this. That he's willing to take the plunge is good, since she's skeptical she could pull it off herself. "T-thanks," she stammers as the Ikari gets ready to do what Ikari's do.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru takes no action.
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Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
And you know what Ikaris do? They jump in FREEZING-ASS COLD WATER without losing consciousness like a puss! What other bastions of manliness could swim in freezing waters without dying? What other incredibly badass superhero would do such a god damned stupid-ass thing? The only problem is...Ralf's not getting paid for THIS particular act of valor. ...Well, he is, just by being in the fight, but he's not being paid anything EXTRA for it. And that's where the problem lies! Man, after this...after THIS, Higashi is going to be buying his rescuer some rounds at the crappiest, nastiest hole in the wall, EVER.
After what feels like forever to some, but elapses a mere sixteen seconds to the magical world of video tape and heartless computers, Joe returns! Well, in a manner of speaking. He's probably not climbing out of the water as much as he's flung up onto it, left to flop and slide over toward Hotaru's feet. Then, and ONLY then, does Ralf repeat his performance of lifting himself onto the ice floe, teeth all a-chattering anew, goosebumps back with a vengeance, and a very wet, very frosty Jones rubbing his arms to try and warm himself up.
But...now's your chance, Hotaru! He's defenseless!
COMBATSYS: Docta Jones drops his guard to recover.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ////////////////// ]
Hotaru 1/------=/=======|=======\-------\0 Ralf
The Frozen Higashisicle slides across the ice and stops at Hotaru's feet. The fashionable pink parka is soaked and the hammer pants have ballooned up slightly from taking on some extra water. One side of Joe's goggles has slipped downward, revealing the black eye beneathe. Someone took a hell of a beating beneath that water, and it wasn't Ralf. Joe's pale face shifts and one eye cracks open slightly to regard the girl standing over him. "Hotaru...." Joe coughs up a little water as he reaches up with a hand weakly, "Avenge me...!" He falls limp then, his entire body lifeless as he... well... as he just falls asleep. That's what tough guys do when they're hurt right?
Hotaru waits... and waits, literally holding her breath for the quarter of a minute Ralf spends beneath the surface. What if he's too weak from the fight to fish the kick boxer out of water successfully? What is she going to do if both of them are sinking now? And why did he end up pummeling the crap out of a man under frozen water /anyway? That's kind of insane! Even if he is at least trying to make amends by rescuing him...
She kneads her hands together nervously until at long last Ralf comes back up and sends the beat down Joe sliding to the girl's feet. Crouching down to see if he's still breathing, she's surprised that not only is he still at least a little awake, he's even got a semi-last request for her, leaving the burden of ending the match on her shoulders no less!
Breathing in deeply, she stands up straight, watching Ralf catch his breath. In spite the water that's literally freezing on him as he stands there, he seems to be looking markedly better over all. Hotaru hesitates a long moment to try and steel herself to take action. She can't let Higashi's unfortunate knock out sabatoge her match, after all! She promised she wouldn't let that happen!
"Yosh. I hope you're ready!" she offers as the only warning before running forward, hopping over a gap in the ice to avoid the water below, spinning into the jump to lend momentum and speed to the rapid windmilling strikes she swings out with the moment her feet touch the ground in front of Ralf. "Sou-shou...!" she begins, attempting to probe the man's defenses for an opening with which to launch a stronger sequence of attacks.
COMBATSYS: Ralf endures Hotaru's Sou-shou Tenrenge EX.
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Hotaru 0/-------/-------|=======\===----\1 Ralf
The moment Hotaru can tell she has an opening to keep going, she swings harder, faster, each strike sparking with a flash of chi as she lends her inner strength to aid her perhaps less impressive physical power. But she can't swing forever and before too long she lunges forward into a shoulder slam before flipping forward and diving back into Ralf, a chi-encased teenaged missile, before she comes sliding to a stop on the larger block of ice, missing going right over the edge by a mere half a foot. Exhaling, she rests on one knee for a moment, "Whew!"
Cold! So cold! Ralf is just sitting there, rubbing the hell out of his arms, trying to get the shivering to stop. Calm down, man! Calm! Down! The involuntary shuddering slows down until, finally, the man straightens his posture, pulling in a long breath of frozen air. "He damn well better appreciate th--" Tha...that...what? After all that, after putting HIS OWN life in danger, Hotaru's going to try and shitbeat him?
GOOD GIRL. GOOD, GOOD GIRL.
It's hard not to see her coming, though. Another cough, a belch tasting far too much of arctic seawater, and a lack of full muscle control tells the man one thing: this is gonna hurt.
There's not much that he can do besides stand there and take it! Feet spread, cleat nubs press into ice, and he buckles down for the inevitable beating! Hunched forward, he leans into each swing, each hit, his teeth gritted and lips spread with a sneer, just short of a full-on toothy snarl! Pushed back little by little, his shoes leave little grooves in the 'floor' that lead dangerously close to the edge! His left arm clutches his stomach, right arm pulling back further and further as he weathers out the flurry of girly strikes.
Will Hotaru notice before it's too late, though? By the time mister Jones has had enough, will she be able to finish jumping away before the mother of all haymakers clips her RIGHT out of the air? Or...will there be anything LEFT of her when the Ikari looses a monstrous bellow, forcing every muscle in his body to twist and put their combined force into his trademark punch?
COMBATSYS: Hotaru endures Ralf's Exploding Vulcan Punch.
[ \\\\\\\ < > //////// ]
Hotaru 1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0 Ralf
Only, Ralf can't seem to put the usual force behind his swing! Maybe it's the fact that he's been freezing his ass off, maybe it's just because he just got sackbeat. He'll opt for the former! The first hit is much weaker than he would have liked, just enough to stop Hotaru's flight and send her back down in front of him. But she's not given any respite! No, no. Jones forces himself to keep swinging, each blow stronger than the last, and the worst part? The sudden appearance of brilliant flame accompanying the last few strikes, a wonderful(ly painful) contrast to frozen skin!
She's winded after that last assault and the freezing air is far from refreshing. But that doens't mean she isn't going to try and leap out of the way at first! And when that swing comes in she's lucky that it isn't with the full force that Ralf can bring to bear because that most definitely would've clocked the girl clean off the ice probably!
Getting slammed to the ground, she attempts to roll out of the way but the assault from Ralf's follow up is brutally fast and very precise. She worms her way around some of the blows, allowing the burning fists to smash into the ice, sending up sizzling steam from the heat. Well, no wonder he's able to keep going, she manages to ponder while getting pummeled, he's got a furance in him! But her delicate frame can't take too much more of the relentless attacks and she knows she's got precious little time left to act.
It's out of desperation that she ends up finally giving up trying to escape and simply attacks him right back, flipping backward with a kick aimed to stun Ralf long enough as she then charges right back in and starts swinging at him all over again just like before. Incoming: another flurry of girly strikes!
COMBATSYS: Hotaru successfully hits Ralf with Sou-shou Tenrenge.
[ \\\\\\\ < > / ]
Hotaru 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Ralf
The effort of swinging and swinging and swinging is a lot for poor Ralf to keep up! With the last smashing punch, he doesn't get back, he doesn't do anything to try and get some ground. He stands where he is, feet spread, knees a bit bent, and he just...leans forward. His breathing is fast and heavy now; obviously, between getting beaten on by TWO people, falling a hundred feet into icy water, punching through an icy floe, swimming back through icy water, ICY THIS ICY THAT ICY THOSE, the duo have finally managed to wear him down! The light at the end of the tunnel is finally visible!
But lord, does the man try to hold his own, even now! So tenacious! Hotaru's coming in again, and for once, he starts to doubt his own fortitude. Sure, he can SURVIVE...but to lose to a girl?! ...So what if a guy did a lot of damage? If she's still standing at the end of this, he won't live it down! ...Well, maybe not for a week. TWO, max. So, he tries to lurch back, tries to get out of the way! But it's all for naught. The 'girly attacks' strike true again, and this time, he's not ready for them. It's true: pile up enough wussy hits, and they pile up! They start to hurt! Though the older man is far too tough to start crying or anything, it's obvious on his face that he's not having too good a time with it. Hell...as if practiced time and time again, his expression shifts from pained to pissed! "ENOUGH!" Yeah, he sounds more menacing than he feels. Swing all you want, Hotaru, but what will you do when Docta Jones starts swinging back with the most...bizzare, ungainly combination of punches that he knows. One of them's a backhanded pimpslap. If only Joe were awake to see it!
COMBATSYS: Ralf can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\ <
Hotaru 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Ralf successfully hits Hotaru with Gatling Attack.
[ <
Hotaru 1/-------/=======|
She literally pauses mid-swing as Ralf makes that angry shout, hand freezing mid-way to striking him again, those blue eyes blinking as she seems to contemplate what beast she might have just awoken with those persistant strikes of hers.
Her brain says get the heck away from him but her body is slow to comply, all of the chilling, freezing weather and the painful attacks she's taken have really started to add up. When his fists come crashing into her again, the girl is unable to do anything besides just get struck, staggering completely out of control after just the first swing.
She tries to catch her footing long enough to defend herself but the backhand smashes into her cheek and that's all she wrote. "Ah-!" Spinning off to the side while still on her feet, the girl sort of twirls down to the ice where she collapses into an unconscious heap. This will be a fight to remember - if she didn't just get hit so hard she might not remember half of it anyway!
COMBATSYS: Hotaru takes no action.
COMBATSYS: Hotaru can no longer fight.
Hotaru's not the only one to fly off-kilter! When Ralf spins around for that backhanded blow, he himself loses it! It's just a second where he blacks out, but it's enough to mess up his balance. So ungraceful is he as he tumbles down onto his ass! And when he's down...so comfortable is the awful bed he's on! Why, it just...makes one want to sleep...
But damn it, the sound of helicoptors tearing in to rescue people won't let him rest. DAMN THEM. DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL.
Log created on 17:31:27 07/14/2007 by Hotaru, and last modified on 06:12:12 07/20/2007.