Description: What was originally supposed to be a match pitting Drake and Tessa against Akira in a James Bond-themed Saturday Night Fight event turns into something completely different when the would-be Bond and the night's Bond girl call and cancel. Some drastic changes are made to the script, and we end up with Akira playing Bond instead of the villain, and her friend Zaki taking the role of the evil Xenia Trapjaw, entertaining the folks here at St. Mark's Square in Venice. (Winner: Akira)
Akira paces through Italy, helmetless, and looking a little nervous. This may be because she's wearing a tophat and monocle or it may be because Drake apparently chickened out--had she known he was so damn upset over fighting him with a handicap--she wouldn't have given him one! It was Takuma's edict anyway.
"So..." She tells the SNF producers, "What now? The crowd's getting a little restless, should we cancel?"
"We don't cancel!" The producer responds, "We'll merely have to find another way to do this... let's see... fighters usually watch other fights--we'll just have to nab one from the crowd." And so said, he starts scanning for someone violent and painful looking.
Zaki is of course RIGHT THERE IN THE FRONT ROW. And she's got her arms crossed and she's looking all gangster as usual so there's really no contest given what the SNF promoters are looking for right now.
"Eh? The hell are you looking at me for?" The director just kind of snaps and sends a ton of guys at her and they drag her off before she can even start swinging. A few moment's pass, and then she's pushed back out into the Square in a Soviet military uniform looking nothing like herself at all. They even took her damn mask! But when the announcer introduces her as 'Xenia' instead of Zaki or Himezaki or anything anyone would recognize, she sighs and decides to just let it go for once.
"Just... just don't look at Yurika.. " But where did her chain go? All she gets is a whip!?
COMBATSYS: Zaki has started a fight here.
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Zaki 0/-------/-------|
Isn't it wonderful how things just come togeather so nicely when the situation calls for it? And it's all so smooth that the audience is none the wiser! That, or the people think whoever booked this match decided to cater to the uh.. Folks that like them young.
Yurika Kirishima just so happened to be about as well, and before she knew it she was dragged off as well, resistant at first, but then going completely star-eyed seeing a photo of Akira looking like a Turk- er, dressed as Bond.
The producer nods his head as it seems things are finally all set up to go, "All right!" he cries into the megaphone, "A quick recap for the watchers at home! To the left, Akira Bond is in a pickle! He's gone through many enemies to reach the dangerous mastermind, Mistress 'Xenia' Trapjaws!" and he points to the right where Zaki stands.
"'Where is Lolly??' Bond demands, and Trapjaws laughs as she replies, 'In the tower, Bond! When the clock strikes on the hour, the gong will strike the bell.. As well as Lady Lolly Mantara!"
Against the clocktower is a projection of 'Lolly Mantara' whom is dressed in a deep-black catsuit (zipped up completely, thank you), which wouldn't be so bad if her hair wasn't done up to look like a giant manta ray-style, even with the tendrils in the front dangling in front of her forehead. The projection shows her taking a deep sip from a teacup (instead of being tied up by the clockbell), and when she lowers it and realizes the camera is live, turns her head to the side to spit the tea out.
The projection cuts off immedietly after as the crowd laughs, and the producer shakes the megaphone at the two fighters, "All right then, action!! Fight! Fight!"
"Um," Akira comments, "This is pretty unusual..." She removes her monocle and tophat, as they aren't very in character for Akira Bond--she does kind of look boyish sometimes--"But it seems a lot of my friends somehow got involved coincidentally."
Oh ho, if only she knew.
But has to put on a bowtie(!?) and a tux, and nice pants. Akira wonders if she can ask for the outfit for her prize--it's probably worth more than the prize money for winning.
Not that she is sure about that, not against Zaki--she's tough! She completely doesn't heed Zaki's advice, and looks at Yurika in a catsuit. She stares.
"Ah, alright, I'll...try not to look at ... at Lolly." She rolls her arms back and tries to look aggresive. She half succeeds. "You'll never succeed at this Xenia Trapjaw!" Boy she sounds hokey, "For I Akira Bond always gets his--her--am I a guy this time or what?--gets his or her woman!"
"...And so... Hiyah!" She throw a quick punch for Zaki as the Bond Battle begins!
COMBATSYS: Akira has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
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Zaki 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "mind a PUNCH, miss Zaki?"
[OOC] Zaki says, "Go ahead."
[OOC] Yurika laughs. xx
COMBATSYS: Zaki Toughs Out Akira's Quick Punch!
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "!"
Wait, what? Did Zaki just get dubbed over when she was trying to curse like a sailor? Sonuvabitch! That was a terrible line, too! "I- I'm just not going to open my mouth again." They won't have to dub her that way, and even if they continue to do so regardless it's gotta be at least a little bit less embarassing. Hopefully.
Clearing her throat and uncurling the whip, though, Zaki tries to do what she can to start playing her part, by smirking and trying to look menacing. That much she knows how to do. And she seems to know how to take a punch convincingly and then laugh it off as well, in that way that Yurika often does, with her hand in front of her mouth. She probably learned it elsewhere, though. Bondage gear and all. And yes, she's familiar with whips too. Otherwise she wouldn't be able to lash the end of that one to a nearby pole and start swinging off of it in an attempt to kick 'Bond' to the ground.
COMBATSYS: Akira blocks Zaki's Gankou Geri.
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Akira
Yurika is so embarassed she can't even say anything. She'll stay in the clock tower until the day she dies.
"Your, uh," Akira manages weakly, "Your days are numbered villain. Da dadada, da dada dadadada..." She doesn't put much heart into it. She seems to actually be trying to play along, however, even if she's not good at it. She brings up her arms as Zaki moves in in a flying kick--taking the strike in her arm. She winces--but manages to handle it alright.--and she throws herself into a quick counterstrike, flying in a powerful spinning jumpkick for Zaki's body--trying to catch her in the chest and send her flying back into that pole over over there!
"I will save Lolly even if I have to beat...uh... a hundred of your best men!"
There's a boo from the crowds.
"Okay, okay, a thousand!"
COMBATSYS: Akira successfully hits Zaki with Dancing Cyclone Kick.
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Zaki 0/-------/-======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
And right after the boo there's a sharp wince from them as well. 'Xenia' didn't even manage to land before she got caught in the stomach with a spinning kick so hard it threw her all the way back into the cheap seats. Nobody gets hurt except for her, as the chairs aren't the nailed-down sort and the people are quick enough to scoot to one side of her, but it was still a close one!
"Rrrgh... " The villainess kip-ups back to a standing position after a moment of glaring indignantly, and then lashes out with the whip itself. She was clearly outkicked, after all!
COMBATSYS: Akira dodges Zaki's Hakai no Tessa.
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Zaki 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
Akira knows Zaki's fighting style better than she does most people in the fighting circuit! She slides to the side but hops back--knowing full well that the whip might wrap around her anyway if she stays too close to it! "Don't be...uh... don't be mad, villainess--you'll have plenty of time to contemplate your defeat in prison."
She thinks about this, "But Bond doesn't really arrest people does he...?" She waits for the whip to move back from the apex of its strike before moving in very close indeed. This isn't just a fight anymore, it's to save the heroine! A heroine...named Lolly.
Akira grabs for Zaki and intends to chuc her a little farther away from the audience. It's for their own good.
COMBATSYS: Zaki fails to interrupt Quick Throw from Akira with Kuuha no Tessa.
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Zaki 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "you know, it occurs to me, that you can't spell Bondage without Bond."
[OOC] Aislinn...
[OOC] Akira says, "...I'm fighting Zaki!"
Well, a whip isn't quite as heavy as a chain, so perhaps Zaki is swinging it a little bit too hard. Overcompensating, one might say. She looks pretty surprised when she misses completely, and as she's sumarrily thrown away from the crowd and back out into the Square itself, she even fails to lash out and drag Akira with her the way she wants. She meant to make the whip wrap around her arm as she went sailing away, but the damn thing wasn't holding the way her chain would have.
"Oomph!"Man, whatever they paved this place with was a lot more murder on the ass than other stuff she's fallen on.
"Ah--" Akira glances to the whip around her arm. It being a whip, means that she can pull her hand away before it wraps around that well. This reminds Akira of her own fight with Makoto--namely, she was obliterated. "Careful--" She tries to remember the Villainess's name but can only remember the last one immediately, "Trapjaw. I won't fall into your... trapped jaws that easily!" She hops forward and tries to give Zaki a pretty vicious elbow drop--but it's a bit slow, perhaps Zaki can get out of the way--or take advantage of the opportunity! "I only hope Lolly... hasn't been licked!"
COMBATSYS: Zaki dodges Akira's Strong Punch.
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Zaki 0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
Zaki tries not to facepalm when she's referred to as that, and then has to suffer the horrible puns that follow. Sure, jokes like that might be in character, in moderation anyway, but this was Akira, here! How much more of this could she listen to before she snapped?
"Ahhh you're doing it on purpose! Cut that out!" 'Xenia' says, covering her face with both hands and rolling out of the way of the descending elbow before rising to one knee and trying to catch her breath, with her fingers twitching at her hip where she's holstered the whip.
COMBATSYS: Zaki gains composure.
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Zaki 0/-------/-======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
"Huh?" Akira says, "Stop doing what?" She blinks twice, "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be--ah... really bad about it." she looks around, "But doesn't he say things like that?" SHe finds a vacated chair--and then picks that up, and another one, and oomphs as she holds them up, stumbling a little as she turns back to Zaki. "This is the end of the, uh, line?"
She doesn't think that's too punny anyway--as she chucks the pair of chairs for Zaki!
COMBATSYS: Zaki full-parries Akira's Large Thrown Object!
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Zaki 1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "nice."
Zaki takes a deep breath, and then shakes her head at her tuxedo-clad friend. "J- just nevermind. He does do that, yeah, but you were kind of doing more of a Austin Powers impression for a sec there. That's all." she says in a stage-whisper, since they're far enough away from the crowd at this point.
And then 'Bond' goes and grabs two of the folding steel chairs that were abandoned for whatever reason and comes after her with them, so she tries to flip and kick them up to a different angle when they're swung since it's obvious Akira was already having trouble holding them both over her head. This plan actually works, and she's able to avoid getting chaired. At that point the crowd starts shouting for 'Xenia' to use her trademark from the movies. The 'sexy leglock thing'! No doubt that's why they named her Trapjaw. But will Zaki be able to get it right?
"Oh FINE! Here!" she calls back, rolling forward into a handspring and trying to throw herself onto Akira, to wrap her legs around her waist and start squeezing like a vice while pushing her to the ground!
COMBATSYS: Akira fails to interrupt Chain Strangler EX from Zaki with Aikido Flip.
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Zaki 1/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Akira
Akira brings up her arms to try and catch Zaki before she can wrap her legs and do a sexy leglock thing. Unfortunately, this doesn't seem to be working very well.
She goes down with a HOOMPH and makes a strangling noise. It's very hot if you're into that sort of thing.
Yurika has reconnected.
Yurika has dropped a connection.
Well, the crowd seems pretty happy. They're cheering and whistling and making cat-calls now. Zaki doesn't... really know how she feels about it. She expected Akira to avoid that one like everything else, and especially since it's not a move she's practiced before! But then maybe that's actually the reason why it worked. She didn't know what Zaki was trying to do until it was too late, maybe?
In any case, the crowd's reaction is making her blush, and it makes her want to climb off as quick as possible and distance herself from her classmate. However, she seems to want to try the whip again, just to keep herself from dwelling on what just happened. And when she swings it this time, it's electrified! Isn't Bond supposed to be the one with the crazy gadgets?
COMBATSYS: Zaki successfully hits Akira with Hissatsu Denkou Tessa.
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Zaki 0/-------/-------|======-\-------\0 Akira
Akira is still rather dizzied by Zaki's sexy strangle! She might not be so sure how to deal with this herself, she's getting buttwhupped all of a sudden! She certainly doesn't know how she feels about that herself! She was doing so well. Guess... it's fate!
She tries to block the latest whipping--but the shock makes even her thrown up arms not help much. She jolts and lies still. IS THIS THE END... FOR BOND?!
"Nffh..." She mumbles, pulling back up to her feet slowly... "I'm not ready to quit just yet, Xenia Trapjaw..." And she throws another fierce punch for Zaki's stomach.
COMBATSYS: Zaki parries Akira's Strong Punch!
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|======-\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "stop that!"
[OOC] Akira shakes a fist!
[OOC] Yurika says, "Teach me how to do it. xx;;"
It's just supposed to be a dramatic struggle, is all. If it was too one sided then people would just get up and leave! The event staff was over there biting their nails about that for a while there, thinking Zaki was gonna get knocked out way too fast and they'd lose money. But now there's dollar signs in their eyes, and they' almost look like they want to dance with each other.
As for Xenia, she gives something of a forced cackle as she coils up her bullwhip and uses it deflect Bond's powerful punch to one side of her face before hopping back out of range and unfurling it again, making it seem to come alive like a snake and leap up at Akira's backside!
COMBATSYS: Zaki successfully hits Akira with Dokuhebi no Tessa EX.
- Power hit! -
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\1 Akira
[OOC] Akira says, "aiee"
[OOC] Akira says, "Zaki"
[OOC] Akira says, "you have... like..."
[OOC] Akira says, "the best luck ever"
[OOC] Yurika says, "Supervillian Powers."
"Oh man, Zaki... you're doing really well." Akira manages, "It looks like this might end on a cliffhanger!" She doesn't try to avoid the massive strike from Zaki (she was hoping for real ultimate power by just tanking it--but she doesn't get that either) and instead just falls forward onto her hands and knees as she takes in deep, pained breaths from Zaki's multitude of strikes. She doesn't resume her assault. "But what about Lolly...?!"
COMBATSYS: Akira gains composure.
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0 Akira
What about Lolly indeed. Miss Mantara isn't going anywhere anytime soon if she has any say in the matter. Seeing as the 'spy' is so high up in the tower, though, she has to watch the fight like the viewers at home, but the moniter she's watching is much smaller. Obviously she's quite concerned with 'Bond' whom doesn't seem to be having very good luck against her/his nemesis. Being the neutral party, she hopes both of them win, "I wonder if I should be suprised that Zaki handles a whip so well," she murmurs to herself.
'Xenia' clears her throat at that, and tilts her chin up in thanks, the gangster way. "Just don't say my name where people can hear, okay? I don't want everyone to know my face.. " the redhead stage-whispers again, adjusting her beret and trying finally to mimic the voice she heard dubbed over her own earlier on.
"What of her? You'll never see her again, Mr. Bond!" Oh man that accent is hard. But she glances over toward the tower a moment, and then narrows her eyes att Akira, as if trying to give her a cue that she should probably try running toward it. Maybe she can save 'Lolly' before Xenia can get her legs around uh... 'him', again.
COMBATSYS: Zaki focuses on her next action.
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0 Akira
"If I can't defeat you..." Akira murmurs, "Then I'll have to rescue ... Lolly ... instead!" She is at least trying to be a showman. She punches a hole into the ground, and rips her hand up, drawing out a large section of the tiled ground--which she promptly chucks at Zaki--but it's merely a delaying action! For Bond cannot fail Lolly--Bond must rescue her!
Right, Akira thinks? He's a hero, isn't he?
So Akira turns and starts RUNNING UP THE WALL of the tower, trying to get up to Lolly and free her! Hooray!
COMBATSYS: Zaki dodges Akira's Large Thrown Object.
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Zaki 0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0 Akira
Shingo has arrived.
Zaki has to raise an eyebrow at that. She knows Akira is strong, but damn. Same tile she fell and bruised her rear end on earlier and she's ripping it up and chucking it at her? That's some solid stuff, so she's pretty sure it's heavy too, piece that big. "Ah shit!!"
Xenia just barely manages to dive out of the way in time, and as expected this slows her down quite a bit. Bond is already running, and she still has to get back to her feet before she can even begin to try and catch up.
"G- get back here, you!" she shouts, sprinting as hard as she can.. But when she sees Akira starting to run up the wall she has to sweatdrop a little. "Okay yeah that's... out of character but whatever." She won't make it worse by proving she can do the same thing, or, possibly jump that high in one leap. She's just gonna attempt to get her whip to reach all the way to Akira's foot and try dragging her down to her level.
COMBATSYS: Akira blocks Zaki's Medium Throw.
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Zaki 0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\1 Akira
Lolly blinks a couple of times, and can't help but snicker a little bit. There's a little mix of everything in this 'episode' isn't there? And she has to restrain herself from leaning out of the tower and crying 'Help me, Lupin!'.
She did like Lupin.
What happens next, she wasn't aware was part of the script. There's a sudden explosion, making her jump from her seat, especially when from the outsiders point of view black smoke is spewing from the top of the tower. Suddenly having a harness strapped onto her, 'Lolly' is thrown right out of the clocks toward, and she lets out an ear piercing shriek as she not only drops but makes a beeline right toward Akira, effectively crashing right into 'him' and sends them both tumbling right back toward the ground.
Unknownst to Yurika, there was a bungee cord that was strapped to her, so she ends up ending her decent a few feet away from the ground, bounces back up and then back down again, clung to Akira like a dobermans jaws on ones leg. Even still, it shouldn't be difficult for Akira to break free.
"I managed to escape, Bond!" her dubbed voice relays, despite looking half-conscious, "Thank goodness you were there to catch me, but we've still got to deal with Trapjaw!"
Akira normally thinks that doing things like 'throwing the ground at your enemy' is pretty showy and not at all very useful since there's no way that'd work--but Kyokugen is a corrupting influence. And more importantly, Akira is trying to put on a good show now that defeat is, probably, close at hand. "Oof." She comments. "This is tough... alright and--"
A couple things happen. The whip snags her leg an she's tugged down--she manages to get a grip on the tower with her hands--it's all very dramatic--but she can't quite reach 'Lolly'!
Then the window explodes and Arika finds Yurika practically thrust into her arms as she tumbles to the ground.
"Uh. Are you sure you're okay, Yurika?" Akira asks--wondering whether she should believe the dubbed voice or not. She manages to pull up and carry Yurika off to the side. "Uh, yes, we have to defeat..." She squints, "Are you sure you're okay? Take some time to uh... recover. I'll hold Trapjaw off?"
She thinks this is what she's supposed to do, anyway.
She turns to look to 'Trapjaw' and smacks her fists against each other. "You can't hope to succeed in your evil plot to...uh..." She thinks, "To... remove all the peanuts from peanut M&MS! If my name isn't... Bond, Akira Bond."
She blushes terribly as she brings her hands back in preparation and starts saying things like 'ooooooooh' as if she was charging up, "Prepare to face... my BOND BEAM!"
And she thrusts her hands forward--sending a series of flying bursts of SKULL CHI for Zaki's body. "BOND BEAM AWAY!"
"I feel really silly."
COMBATSYS: Akira successfully hits Zaki with Kikou Kai.
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Zaki 1/-------/=======|-------\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira sagenod. The Bond Beam is deadly
Wow, that was pretty fast. Zaki figured she'd at least have time to run up the stairs, and since they're no script she had no idea about the special effects explosion that'd throw Yurika out the window. And it looks like she's still pretty confused at what's just happened when Akira turns and starts spouting that nonsense about the M&M's. "...huh? I mean.. N- noooooo!" and then she gets blasted away in slow-mo by skull chi. That one always did hurt, so she's not even faking when she says "Ahhh it burns!"
Eventually though, she crawls back to her feet and out of a nearby wastebasket that she fell on, and tries to rush Bond and tackle him to the ground. "Y- you'll pay for that, Bond!"
COMBATSYS: Zaki successfully hits Akira with Medium Throw.
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Zaki 1/------=/=======|==-----\-------\0 Akira
"Well," Akira notes, "I mean, I have a hard time imagining you doing a -really- evil scheme, so I thought that'd be fun... I mean, maybe we'll get M&Ms..."
Akira is very practical about the universe.
She tries to move out of the way--but Zaki is tougher than first appearances indicate and Akira goes down! "Yagkk.." Akira hits her head against the ground, her vision dizzies! She may have just evened up the fight--but Zaki just unevened it! Still, Bond isn't out yet. When it's down to the wire, the TRUE POWER comes forth!
"My Bond Beam... may not have been enough, but I won't give up, Trapjaw!" She brings one leg back, even as she's pinned, and throws it in a kick for Zaki's stomach--aiming to throw her off her body with a burst of wind chi--it's hardly as painful as it was last time--assuming Zaki doesn't see it coming!
COMBATSYS: Akira successfully hits Zaki with Dancing Cyclone Kick.
- Power hit! -
[ \\ < > /////// ]
Zaki 1/--=====/=======|===----\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Zaki says, "Well damn, endure! C_C"
Okay, so Zaki can't help but laugh, after the tackle. And it's not a cackle, it's a laugh, so it ends up looking weird. But this is the end of the show anyway so who really cares!? Akira wanting free M&M's at the end of this is just too cute not to laugh at.
And she's still laughing as she gets kicked, too. She couldn't have gotten out of the way even if she wanted to, and since all of her breath is already coming out as laughter, when she gets kicked in the stomach it REALLY HURTS. Pretty much the same as last time.
"Hahahahaha- OOF!!!" Xenia goes rolling off to the side, holding her stomach, and then plays dead for a minute or two. But she's just waiting for Bond to turn his back so she can get her legs around him at the last minute! Look out, Bond!
COMBATSYS: Zaki can no longer fight.
> /////// ]
|===----\-------\0 Akira
COMBATSYS: Akira dodges Zaki's Chain Strangler.
> /////// ]
|===----\-------\0 Akira
[OOC] Akira picked that because the chances said '69' and I figured since I was fighting the bondage queen...
[OOC] Yurika spits her tea.
Yurika comes to after a little while.. Yes, she missed Bond's spiel of what she was defending and wondering if Lolly was all right but it was beyond that point now. Freed from her harness, the catsuit-clad musician has taken a very awkward moment to just crouch not far off to where she's pretty sure she's off-camera, knelt to the floor with her arms hugging her chest and her face red as a beet. Oh the poor girl, but playing the part best she can, she does manage to cry a, "Bond! Look out!!"
She turns around to throw a wave to the cheering crowd when--BOND! LOOK! OUT!"
Akira backflips away from Xenia's last ultimate legcling and lands behind her. "Not this time, Trapjaw!" and points her hand at her in a 'pistol' form and adds, "You're under arrest and we will put you in... UN custody, or something!" She looks to Lolly and tries to sound gruff and stoic, "Thanks Lolly, I owe ya one!"
And then she holds Zaki a hand to help her up to her feet, "Nice fight, Zaki--I was really expecting to get trounced!" It was definately a close one!
Xenia of course falls flat on her back when Bond flips clear out of the way of her falling legs, and then the exhaustion really kicks in and Zaki decides that she really doesn't want to move anymore. It's actually pretty hard to keep her eyes open and it's hurting to breath with her abdomen as bruised as it is right now. She's lucky she didn't get kicked in the ribs, or they definitely woulda got broken!
"Fine, you win! Don't shoot! I give up!"
And then after that, she just lays there, and while the cameras are moving back to Akira and Yurika for one last shot the med crew rushes over to help the gangleader up and take her back to where they left her real clothes. "Y- yeah. Was pretty fun. I'll talk to you later. Oog..." she calls back over her shoulder, one eye squinted shut.
"Ah---see you later, nice fight." Akira is pretty woozy herself, and chooses to slump against the Tower...of Terror?!
Yurika gives a weak laugh to Akira, and waves her hand dismissivly, "O.. Oh it was nothing.." she replies as she cringes, just knowing the camera is on her again. She's forced to stand at this point, but she still has one arm across the chest and the other trying to cover her lap, completely unable to hide the blush on her face. But finally the whole thing is over, and she rushes by Akira on her tip-toes to zoom back into the tower, "Ok, bye!"
She'd like her own clothes back as soon as possible too!
Log created on 21:48:13 05/25/2007 by Zaki, and last modified on 09:45:31 05/27/2007.