Description: The titans known as Mr. Big, Ralf, and Urien clash on Mount Olympus in arguably the beefiest SNF bout ever. TOGA PARTY! (Winner: Mr.Big)
Viewer Warning, this segment of SNF may be unsuitable for younger viewers. Exposure to this fight may cause premature puberty in preteens, especially in young girls. Viewing of this program by pregnant women may cause miscarriages or premature births, and women who are ovulating should avoid viewing this fight, as there may be a danger of spontaneous conception.
GREECE! Lovely, stinking, wet-ass Greece. It's a fine country, full of mountains and freshly-oiled busboys that don't make their best money cleaning up tables, if you know what I mean. Oh, there goes the rating for this little get-together.
The air is clear and cool, bordering on the cold even. Bright blue skies stretch across an expanse of mountainous land, peppered with brushstrokes of greyish clouds here and there. Foliage is EVERYWHERE. Nearly, anyway. Sheer rock cliffs all over the place means dangerous footing on the paths less-travelled. Equally so is the 'ring' for the grandest of the grand matches, the battle of the beef, the--well, no alliteration can truly do justice to the display that people are going to see today.
The ring is set at the top of the rocky hills, a flat stretch of earth no more than a hundred yards long before it drops down a forty-degree slope. About two-thirds as wide from side to side, these boundaries are far deadlier, as a steep cliff with plenty of outcroppings on which to hold makes for a very strenuous re-entry. Still, there are nets below, so nobody has to worry about dying or anything. That is, unless they nail their head on a sharp rock on the way down, but how likely is THAT to happen?
The viewing station is set atop another hill in the distance, where cameras and binoculars-equipped people can watch the action live. The scant few referees/judges/assassins/whatever hold walkie talkies, gesturing the fighters up to the top before they tie up a rope at the top of their slope. No stepping outside the ring! Sure, you won't be disqualified, but it's a loooong, long roll to the bottom. That rope's sure to stop them. Pff.
Finally, the announcers begin their introductions! A man mostly out of action for almost a year now, the most awesome of mercenaries, the craziest, most foolhardy member of the Ikari team is RALF. <scrambled garbled censor beep> JONES. The aforementioned man steps up onto the hill, lifting his arms and waving madly at the crowd so, so far away. His attire, to fit with the theme, looks like a bedspread tied at the shoulder. Which means...he's spot on! White in color, except for pale yellow stripes and the seams at the head leave one shoulder and one AWESOME pec bare, hiked up to mid-calf. He's still wearing his thick leather boots, though; no sense in walking up the rocks barefoot. That's just crazy. CRAZY.
Ahh, lovely Greece, the land this Adonis among men calls home. The tall, bronzed and notably not toga-ed fighter is on the platform along with Ralf and most likely Mr. Big, ready and waiting for the fight to begin. Present at the top of the hill long before the other fighters--and possibly even the other SNF officials--he looks like a mannequin someone left behind more than a fighter in the upcoming match.
Speaking of the lack of toga, Urien is wearing not the designated attire but instead a business suit, grey, blue tie, looks expensive. Sunglasses conceal his unnatural eyes, but not the bizarre light blue oval on his forehead. Hands shoved in his pockets, Urien has a little a frown on his face, his expression less than amused. Staring directly at the ground in front of him, he seems to be either contemplative--or a very life-like statue.
His announcement is probably equally enthusiastic, although there's less to be said about Urien. Mysterious native? Tall, dark and immobile? Whatever the case may be, he's likewise introduced, and the sound isn't enough to wake him out of his silent, still trance.
"Haha, check it out!" Mr. Big exclaims as he flexes his well muscled biceps at the camera for the viewing audience at home. Taking full opportunity of the match's suggested apparel, Mr. Big is sure not to let the chance to show off 'the goods' pass him by. "Now this is what gods are made of. Enjoy ladies!" Dressed in a well tailored brilliant white linen toga of the finest quality, the Gangster Adonis does his best impression of Mr. Universe as he runs through a variety of flexing poses. Having been dropped off by a Howard Enterprises helicopter a short while before the fight's start, Mr. Big has had some time to amuse himself before the fight begins in earnest.
As the time draws near, the Glittering Sultan of Southdown lets the cameraman off the hook and takes his place with the other combatants. "Nice threads," he says to Ralf with a smirk from across the ring. Somewhere there is a very cold frat boy.
Briefly bending down to tighten the leather laces that crisscross his calves of the period authentic sandals on his feet, Mr. Big then straightens and gives Urien an appraising glance. Some white haired chump in a business suit. Hmm... that's a familiar sight. The gangster's thoughts are drawn to a young man that he ran into near the shrine some days back. What was his name? Lysol? Lycos? Eh. Just some crazy kid with a god complex, really. Though, it is kind of unsettling that Mr. Big should be here standing on Mount Olympus dressed like a Greek god after the brief and bloody conversation he had with the kid some days ago. Eh. Whatever. There's a fight to be won and Mr. Big looks too damn good to waste time being all introspective and crap. "Let's get the show started!"
Okay, so Ralf's attire is...not quite as good as Big's, but it's WORLDS better than Urien's. Jones turns his back to the audience and peers at his opponents for tonight's little rumble. His features range from slightly amused to thoroughly disgusted, then to outright horror. His mouth is agape, lips curled, brows furrowed. And that's only Urien's outfit he's seen! What sort of man would dress in a man-panty? A thick arm points out, finger extended directly toward the bronzed native. "H-hey! Hey, where's your toga?! You can't wear that kinda thing on television! Come on, have some friggin' courtesy here!!" He looks between him and Big, looking for support from the latter. Sure, he's also scheduled to get beaten down, but he can at LEAST back him up on this. Right? Right??
When it's made apparent that he has to fight...ugh...a mostly-naked thong-bonger, Ralf just puts his hands to his head, screwing up the store-bought crown of olive leaves that ended up being mostly obscured by his thick hair. No bandana today! No, today, he's dressed the part, as strange as the rule was. JONES IS IN A TOGA. BIG IS IN A TOGA. THERE WAS NO MENTION OF PANTY PLAY. GOD!!
Still, the Ikari slaps the sides of his head a bit, breathing in deep, rolling shoulders and bouncing on his heels a little. Fine. Fine! He's going to do this! Never let it be said that Ralf Jones was a wuss! How bad can it be? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Keep thinking like that. His arms drop, fingers extending before pulling into tight fists, one extending in front of him, the other pulling back with a wide stance. "Okay, you frathouse rejects. Let's get this sausage festival done and over with!"
COMBATSYS: Ralf has started a fight here.
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Ralf 0/-------/-------|
think
COMBATSYS: Urien has joined the fight here.
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Ralf 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Urien
Oh, and all of Ralf's bitching is about Urien being in a suit while he has to wear a TOGA. THAT'S NOT FAIR.
COMBATSYS: Ralf focuses on his next action.
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Ralf 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Urien
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big has joined the fight here.
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Ralf 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Mr.Big
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-------|
Urien still isn't moving, even though Ralf is pointing and shouting at him, or maybe not. Either way, the antics of the other fighters are not reacted to by the fighter, who's probably bonding with his homeland or something silly, if most source material is followed. Realistically it's more just him not having anything specifically to do, and not having any need to move for the moment.
Ironically, Urien's rippling muscle--concealed by a suit--and emotionless demeanor might not make him the most man of the men assembled. He doesn't even have giant pecs exposed. Heck, right now, aside from his unusual height, he looks like he should be trading stock, not standing on a hill, mentally preparing himself for a glorious(?) battle against a pair of guys in togas. Right now, it looks like he isn't even aware the other two are there, yet, the only motion on his character sprite the flapping of wind against his suit.
COMBATSYS: Urien focuses on his next action.
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Ralf 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Mr.Big
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Urien 0/-------/-------|
"...What the hell?" Mr. Big utters in disbelief as the other fighters stare each other down, or yell about phantom man-panties or suits or whatever. "I guess I have to be the one to ask the girlies to dance," the gangster mutters as he turns to Ralf, who is still in the midst of his obsessive suit (manthong) rant. Well, at least he's wearing a toga. That other guy? Kinda creepy. "Alright Bluto, commin at ya!" he yells at Mr. Jones as he pulls two golden rods from the waist belt of his toga. "The fire of the gods!" he adds with a grin as he swipes one of the golden batons towards Ralf, a bright orange plume of promethean chi traveling in it's wake straight towards the merc.
COMBATSYS: Ralf Toughs Out Mr.Big's Ground Blaster!
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Ralf 0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0 Mr.Big
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-------|
Breathe in, breathe out. Wax on, wax--whatever.
Ralf's head turns toward Big at the awful, awful insult, body turning a bit towards him. Seems he's got the man's attention, so he's the first to start taking the punishment! Fair enough! Jones makes a quick 'come hither' motion with his extended hand, then beats his chest twice with it. "Bring it, PopEye!"
Oh. And it's another fireball of some sort. Well, NOT THIS TIME. After getting shot up to hell by rockets, bullets, and head-on collisions with what he thinks were alien spacecraft, the Ikari turns fully toward big, feet spread and knees hunched, leaning slightly forward with arms out at his sides. And then, he FLEXES. Teeth grit as the heavenly arc slams into his chest, ripping a slight tear in his bedspread, but thankfully, the thing holds. His feet slide back an inch or so, but fall well short of tumbling over the precipice. HARDCORE. Ralf's arms drop as he lowers himself further, now in a full crouch, a shit-eating grin plastered on his maw. "Forgot your spinach or something?" He leans forward, and then VAULTS off, but not toward Big! No, his sudden adrenaline rush sends him toward Urien, body twisting as he assaults the man with a vicious drop kick! Time to knock this guy out of the fight early!
"RALFU KIIIIICK!!!" Yeah, so he sounds like a tard, hush up.
COMBATSYS: Urien endures Ralf's Ralf Kick.
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Ralf 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-----==|
Ahh, now things are escalating, and Urien might have to move a muscle or something. Rumor has it, that's a good thing to do in a fight! But he doesn't, when Ralf comes to kick him in the chest meats. The kick is solid, and walks Urien up, that's for sure. The man takes a single step back, looking up at the person who just attacked him. "Oh." He grunts out, as though just realizing the fight has begun or something. Throwing arms out to the side, Urien flexes so hard that his jacket and the shirt under it shred, tatters on the wind. His pants remain. Still no thong Ralf, sorry, though his bronzed, fully defined muscles are exposed now. More importantly, though, is that his skin seems to darken--dramatically--revealing something is not-quite-right with Urien, as if that wasn't already obvious.
The showmanship out of the way, a hand lifts up, pointing straight at Ralf. A fist is directed at him, electricity starting to form around his arm. "You are inconsequential. Get out of the way." Urien says, and then, like a shotgun blast, metal shards charged with electricity form, attempting to blast Ralf away from him. Fortunately there's a long way between him and the opposite end of the arena, since his back was close to the edge anyway.
Well, that didn't exactly go according to plan, but at least it got the ball rolling. "Popeye?! Dammit, haven't you seen Animal House? What the hell! At least call me Dean Wormer or something..."
Scratching at his goatee in thought as Ralf and Urien begin to duke it out, Mr. Big glances around the ring casually, apparently not feeling the need to interject himself into the melee just yet.
"Hey, camera man, get over here!" the Southtown Syndicate Lieutenant shouts to one of the many camera men standing outside the ring. "Make sure you get some good shots of me. Don't bother with those other guys. Gotta keep the fans happy, ya know?" he instructs the man as he tucks some money in his pocket. (Where does he keep his wallet in that toga?) Flexing into the camera yet again, Mr. Big winks and mouths words at the television audience back at home. Sadly, he wasn't able to bring his 'entourage' to this fight.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big gathers his will.
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Ralf 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-----==|
COMBATSYS: Ralf dodges Urien's Charged Metallic Sphere.
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Ralf 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-----==|
Ralf lands on his front with a loud "HOOMPH!", apparently expecting Urien to get knocked back a BIT further than that! It was quite like kicking a meat wall...and he's usually said wall! He scrambles to pull his legs up under him and get a little distance between himself and the semi-suited one. Unfortunately, he totally missed the BADASS display shedding him of his precious jacket and shirt! Perhaps, if he'd stayed in and kept swinging, he'd have seen it, but alas. It's time to take the guy a LITTLE more seriously. A scant moment is afforded him to prepare before the fist, charged with what is likely to be Greek Fire and bleach mix with the flecks of iron in the earth, which in turn align their particles to--
Screw it. Ralf sees a blast starting, and he DROPS. Getting as close to the ground as he can, he covers his head with his hands and just barely misses being perforated. What a fine choice, leaving his jacket behind! It would have been USEFUL! Sigh. Okay, time to reevaluate threats. He looks to Big, who's busy posing, flexing, and generally making an ass of himself. Diagnosis: squishier. Use: human shield? Bonus. This time, Jones pushes himself up to crouching, then hauls off toward him, slinging hooks and backhands and uppercuts in a furious combo!
Meat indeed, and now it's iron. With a heavy sigh as his shotgun blast of metal shrapnel and electric chi--both created from the very air around his fist and dissipating after a short distance--Urien decides that it succeeded in its intended objective, roughly, of getting Ralf off of his chest.
So, he adjusts his posture, stance adopting one more appropriate for fighting, perhaps, though his arms are still at his sides. Heavy breaths are drawn in and out, as a hand drifts up to remove his sunglasses, throwing them off the ledge and down the hill to their dooooom. His eyes are closed. Concentrating. Focusing. Just inwardly, this time. After all, no one is attacking him right at this very instant.
COMBATSYS: Urien gains composure.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > ///////////////////////////// ]
Ralf 0/-------/-----==|======-\-------\0 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/------=|
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big Toughs Out Ralf's Gatling Attack!
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Ralf 0/-------/---====|=======\-------\0 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/------=|
Tipped off by the sound of footsteps racing towards him, not to mention the fact that the cameraman has retreated rather quickly, Mr. Big spins just in time to see the Ikari racing towards him, homemade toga flapping in the wind. "Ah, Bluto! Decided to fight a real man, huh? Toga to toga! Go ahead Bluto, give me your best shot!" Causing his toga to jump and ripple manly as he flexes his legs, chest, and arm muscles, Mr. Big stoically endures the combo unleashed on him. Twitching slightly as the punches are thrown, the brunt of the force is absorbed by Big's pecs and lowered forehead, leaving him almost unharmed.
"Meh. Not bad," he aknowledges unenthusiastically. "My turn." Taking a step towards Ralf, Mr. Big moves his left baton up towards his own face in a guard position. With another quick step forward, Mr. Big begins to windmill the baton in his left hand around in a figure eight motion, looking like some sort of sadistic taiko drummer, striking out toward Ralf's face, neck and chest numerous times as he advances forward.
COMBATSYS: Ralf interrupts Crazy Drum Dram from Mr.Big with Super Argentine Backbreaker.
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Ralf 1/------=/=======|=======\==-----\1 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/------=|
Urien be damned! His new target is Mr. Big himself, and Jones isn't gonna make the same mistake that he did with the other guy! No, his fists feel like they're practically bouncing off of the pimp's RIPPED BOD, but there's no reason to let him step back and recover, no sir! Another swinging backhand is sent off-course by a pop in the head, knocking his crown of leaves right off. The Ikari stumbles once, feet hitting the ground heavily, shakily, as another club beans him right in the neck. Oh! Oh! It's on! SCREW THIS!
Braving the barrage of blows, Ralf opens his mouth and, with a hearty yell, drives into the storm! It proves to be much harder to hit him when he's RIGHT ON YOU, isn't it, 'Big'? Well! Large hands grab the pimp by the sides and send him skyward with a grunt! No, not off the edge of the cliff. Ralf has scruples. Instead, the spinning flight through the air is halted with a painful collision between spine and hard skull, and then a careless toss down to the ground.
Immediately, the big lug walks to pick up his crown, then leans over Big, arms flexed and a loud "HNNNG!!" to taunt him! Who looks good now?!
Hop, hop, hop. Something riled up Urien, and although nearly entirely motionless aside from a few movements when Ralf attacked him, he's apparently really fast when he wants to be. As he prances along towards the other fighters (what? Look at his dash in SFIII), it's not long before he's within range to take advantage of the situation.
With Ralf leaning over Big, he becomes a prime target in this situation--and if the three, maybe four loud thuds--as Urien takes long, leaping strides towards him, long but low jumps more than a run--isn't enough for Ralf to turn and face whatever is coming his way, then he'll be getting barreled in to from behind, the man of iron colliding with him with his shoulder with the force to tip over... uh, something really big and heavy. Will Ralf become wise to the imminent crushing, or will he be flattened?
"Gah!" Mr. Big gasps in surprise as Ralf grabs him. Toga on toga contact between two dudes. Not cool. Rolling away after being slammed into the ground, the gangster springs to his feet and makes a vain attempt to slap the dirt off of his designer toga. "Damn. This is why I don't like wearing white," he mumbles. "Alright, it's getting serious now." Out of danger for the moment, Mr. Big takes a bit to gather himself and pump himself up for the real MEAT of the fight to come. Bouncing from foot to foot, he slips an arm out of the toga, letting the upper half fall to his waist, leaving him quite bare-chested. "Oh, it's on now!" he yells as he slaps his meaty and somewhat hairy pecs with the batons.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big gathers his will.
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Ralf 1/------=/=======|=======\======-\1 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Ralf fails to interrupt Chariot Tackle from Urien with Galactica Phantom'.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ < > /////////////////////// ]
Ralf 0/-------/-======|=======\======-\1 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-----==|
No sooner does Ralf stand back up and put his leaf-crown back on his head than the ground shakes. And again. Is it...is it an earthquake?! Is the whole mountain gonna blow?! Quick as a flash, spider senses tingling, etc etc and so on and so forth, Ralf spins around, planting his left foot hard onto the unforgiving rock beneath the boot. SOLID. STANCE. His upper body wrenches, right hand already clenched and slung out, fully intending to put Urien the hell down with his favorite, mighty punch, the MOTHER OF ALL HAYMA--
"Hrrrrgl!!!" No, that's not how it's supposed to go! Urien's shoulder digs deep into the man's gut, sending a spray of spittle of what used to be his lunch on the guy's good--well, his shirt and coat are all cashed out, so it must be down Urien's back. SUCKER. As for Ralf, he goes FLYING back, over the edge of the cliff! "AAAAAAaaaa--" Well, it seems that the Ikari has fallen to his doom.
Or not, as he catches a rocky outcropping, hanging on with one hand FOR DEAR LIFE. And, assuming he doesn't get like a boulder thrown at him or anything, he'll start climbing back up.
Flattened indeed. With Ralf sprawling down the hill--his meat is meaty but unfortunately not enough to deter Urien's iron--the Greeks' attention turns to Mr. Big. The other one. "Despair, mortal. You stand before a god." Urien says, staring Big down, glaring at the man with those white, sans-pupil eyes of his. Arms are raised up, and for the first time he finds himself in his full fighting posture. Behold, the stands of the Secret Fighting Techniques of the Mysterious Organization. Ooooooo, spooky unknown voodoo~
Urien waits, for now, however, holding his ground. Drawing deep breaths. Chest rising and falling. He contemplates as he glares, wondering what Big has in store, if anything. Pondering if he's going to get groped in the back by Ralf in a round or two. Wondering what the hell Ralf had for lunch that feels so damn greasy. Can you see the thought?
COMBATSYS: Urien focuses on his next action.
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Ralf 0/-------/-======|=======\======-\1 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-----==|
"Standing before a god?" Mr. Big asks with a grin, the sunglasses covering his eyes kind of ruining the theme of his whole getup. "Yeah, I've been getting that a lot lately." Scratching his goatee thoughtfully, Mr. Big smirks as he slowly slides his foot across the dirt. "But what makes you think you're the only god here today?" As if on cue, Mr. Big springs into action and streaks across the ring, his bare chest glistening in the sun. As he closes the distance, Mr. Big swipes at Urien's chin with his right handed baton and quickly follows it up by stepping through and thrusting towards the metal man's nose with the baton in his left hand.
Don't think Ralf's taking his sweet-ass time, either! Rocks tumble down far below as he climbs, and when he gets his arms over the edge and he's halfway to safety, he lets out a huge, huffing sigh. "Made it! God." Oh, Urien will pay for that. Nearly send him out, will he?! More rocks break off and clatter down before Jones can get fully up, and when he does, he gets up running. FROM BEHIND THE BRONZE GOD, of course, the man between himself and Big. With no idea what the pimp-but-not-pimp is up to, the fight's hero has only one plan in mind: grab, throw, hurt.
It's a simple thing, really. While the G-Project leader's attention is elsewhere, Ralf just wants to rush up, slip his arms other arms and behind the neck, and hold his opponent in a full nelson. Ideally, he'll hold him still for Big. If not, hey! He can just pick the big bastard up and SLAM him, with a half-turn and a touch of lemon, mind you, back-first into the rocky arena.
COMBATSYS: Urien blocks Ralf's Strong Throw.
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Ralf 0/-------/-======|=======\======-\1 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/----===|
COMBATSYS: Urien interrupts Medium Strike from Mr.Big with Violence Knee Drop.
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Ralf 0/-------/-======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-======|
Ahh, between a baton and a hard place or something like that. As it turns out, Urien is pretty hard, too. So first comes Ralf sneaking up behind him to hold him steady for Big. And he does, at first. Big's batons connect with Urien, although he moves to ensure it's not quite as damaging as desired. Then Ralf goes ahead and slams him, and hey, Urien doesn't stop that either! But he does brace himself for impact, drastically reducing the damage that could've been done, no doubt.
Then he stands up. "You can't defeat a god like that. If you want to harm me, perhaps you should try something more like this." Leaping in to the air--and man, he sure can jump high for someone that size--a moment later he comes crashing down on Mr. Big, both knees connecting straight in to his chest at an unnaturally high velocity, at a sharp angle. Urien ricochets off, landing on his feet once the damage is done.
Pow! Right in the chestmeats! Slammed by Urien's knees, and probably leaving some of his chest hair at the scene of the crime, Mr. Big is sent stumbling backwards and rubbing at his chest sourly. What's with all of the interrupting? So rude! "Sonnova..." he mutters taking a few more steps back. Gotta rethink his strategy, this ain't goin so well.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big focuses on his next action.
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Ralf 0/-------/-======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-======|
"A god?!" Woah, nobody told him he was fighting a GOD. This is serious business!
Luckily, Jones knows how to defeat gods. Or, at least, otherworldly visitors! A punch is usually good enough for that, but not this time. No, no. This needs something EXTRA. Urien, this god-wannabe, he needs some tenderizing!
And seriously, enough with the gay imagery. You know what he means.
Apparently, the Ikari likes going in from behind, because he just leaps up, left arm out as he tries to simultaneously catch Herr Diety's neck in a lock, spin and make it a FRONT facelock, and with any amount of luck and straining of sweaty, glistening, slick--okay, with some effort, pull Urien up into a totally, totally sweet bomb. The idea is to slam the guy against the rocks enough that his delicious candy shell will crack!
COMBATSYS: Ralf successfully hits Urien with Northern Lights Bomb.
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Ralf 1/-------/=======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 1/------=/=======|
Urien is pretty serious business. But as Ralf goes for him, he tries to get out of the way. Not a good call, as he's "sweet bombed" as Ralf desires. Oof. Urien picks himself back up off the ground, letting out a heavy breath he'd held in through the throw. But, the man of iron hasn't had his shell cracked just yet, though progress is being made.
Standing once again, staring over at Ralf, before growling out suddenly, "AEGIS REFLECTOR!" A fast, giant, pink wall of energy flies out from Urien, first colliding with Ralf and repelling him back. He then has to deal with a giant pink rectangle slowing his progress for the next few seconds, hopefully giving Urien time for a breather. If the attack gives him his window as desired, he'd add on, "Behold, one of the 66 undefeatable techniques I have access to!" Key word, access. He doesn't actually know them all, sad for him.
Huh. Wow, that's was actually pretty good thinking on Ralf's part. Hitting that Urien guy with stuff doesn't seem to work too well, but hitting stuff with -him-, the ground mainly, seemed to work out just fine. Mr. Big will have to keep that in mind. It seems like there are all sorts of things you can learn when you actually -pay attention- to a fight.
Speaking of paying attention, there's something else interesting going on right now. A huge pink (?) wall of energy flying right at Ralf. "Heh. Good idea," Mr. Big murmurs. "GROUND BLASTER!" he yells out as he sends another orange flare of chi racing along the ground towards Ralf. Hey, Urien did it too.
COMBATSYS: Ralf endures Urien's Aegis Reflector.
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Ralf 1/-======/=======|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Mr.Big
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Urien 0/-------/-------|
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big successfully hits Ralf with Ground Blaster.
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Ralf 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2 Mr.Big
[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ <
Urien 0/-------/-------|
Hoo! After dropping Urien to the ground, Ralf is quick to get back up, feet spread, slapping his face to keep his focus! There's no way he'll give the guy a chance to retaliate. NO SIR! Why, he'll just reach down and--and...god, he gets up quickly. Still, Jones runs right forward, when...BAM! He's struck by a wall of fairy pink! Oh, but he doesn't get driven back, no. The man is so UTTERLY hardcore that he digs his boots into the ground and pushes back against it! It's insane! A low bellow starts out in his throat, growing louder as he tries to push THROUGH it instead. Does he know no fear?! His right hand is already curled up, pulled back, waiting for that instant that his unstoppable force overpowers Urien's immovable object. IT WILL HAPPEN! IT WILL--
The yell rises in pitch slightly as a swatch of chi hits him right in his behind, thanks to Big's meddling. No! Not meddling! It fuels Ralf's rage! Yes, something like that. The pink wall finally fades, shatters, whatever...and there's the man plowing right ahead, the force of his entire body behind his legendary punch! Two in one day!!
COMBATSYS: Ralf can no longer fight.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0 Urien
COMBATSYS: Urien blocks Ralf's Galactica Phantom'.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
Slightly amazed that Ralf, through sheer force of will, pushed back against his Aegis Reflector, the resistance slows the attack that follows that Urien can lift up an arm to block the attack, the mighty punch. Impacting against a metal forearm, the attack still seems to harm Urien somewhat, but not enough! And now Urien's eyes are focused on Mr. Big, the only threat remaining for the time being. Urien crouches, grabbing a rock as he rises, looking at Mr. Big with the rock in the hand, this look that just screams 'I'm gonna throw this thing at you.'
And then he throws that thing at him. This is definitely a technique that real gods use.
And here, Ralf just topples over, the effort apparently too much! And by 'over', he means 'down that slope'. Oh, he's gonna hurt tomorrow.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big dodges Urien's Thrown Object.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
"Pfft. Come on now. You got better than that," Mr. Big chides as he steps out of the way of the thrown rock. "Bluto put up a damn good fight, but it's just you and me now. Give me everything you got. Last god standing, am I right?" he says with a chuckle. Massaging his shoulders casually, Mr. Big looks around at the scenery, the beautiful crags of Mount Olympus all around them. "Well Icarus, what do you say? Why don't you test out your wings and see how close you can get to heaven!" Hmm... what the hell is wrong with Mr. Big? The thin air must be getting to him.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big gathers his will.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
Oh, you're a tricksy one. Arms thrown out to either side, Urien gazes outward at Mr. Big, not making any moves to attack the man just yet. Instead he breaks in to monologue. "I will make you a deal. Rather than subject you to another of my numerous god powers, why don't you start worshipping me right now and perhaps when the time comes for me to assume my place at the head of this world, I will make you my hand. You're used to service, seeing as how you're already Geese's servant." Urien taunts, seeming to be trying to goad the man in to attacking first in this standoff of big, bad, shirtless men.
COMBATSYS: Urien focuses on his next action.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
"Hmm... interesting proposition," Mr. Big admits, taping the tip of his nose thoughtfully. "But I'm going to have to turn you down. The last guy wanted me to be a cult LEADER, after all, not some follower. Soo.... I'm gunna have to go with the god powers thing." Apparently Mr. Big is choosing to ignore the whole 'Geese' comment. "So how about you stop trying to chicken out of this fight and put your god powers where your mouth is, punk?"
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big focuses on his next action.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
"Very well." Urien concedes, deciding to show Big something he hasn't seen this fight, Urien dashes for him. Two long hops later and he's right on top of the SouthSynd warrior, a long arm stretching out to deliver a solid punch to his opponents cranium. It's light and fast, almost as though trying to blind him for a followup. Gods use the one two punch, everyone knows that.
COMBATSYS: Mr.Big endures Urien's Jab Punch.
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|==-----\-------\0 Urien
Ducking his head as the punch closes in, the blow glances rather harmlessly off of his forehead. "Psh. Wow. Well that was a letdown. SORRY FOLKS!" Mr. Big yells out to the spectators gathered on the viewer's section. "DON'T WORRY, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU GET YOUR MONEY'S WORTH..." That said, the ersatz pimp charges the metal godling. Batons shooting foreword, Mr. Big attempts to catch Urien around the thick metal neck using the batons like chopsticks. If he's able to catch the Greek he'll lift him into the air and toss him backwards through the air, where he lands, Mr. Big don't really care.
COMBATSYS: Urien interrupts High Lift Throw from Mr.Big with Medium Punch.
- Power hit! -
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Mr.Big 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0 Urien
The two was slightly belated--but nevertheless, as Big goes to grapple Urien, he does move, and does go up an over. The move is slightly deterred, however, when Urien punches his opponent in the head during the middle--presumably distracting him enough to weaken the throw somewhat. He lands heavy, dirt flying up around him as he hits the ground with enough force to cause a crater, but he's back on his feet in not too long, standing tall and prepared for whatever Big might have next. Or is he?
Shaking his head slightly to try and catch his bearings after the punch to the ol' chrome dome, Mr. Big nods. "Okay, that's a -little- better, but you've talked up your game quite a bit, and I haven't seen much backing it up yet. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to end this thing and collect my prize money. Hey, maybe after this they'll start callin me the God Killer," he muses with a grin. "Anyway, DOUBLE GROUND BLASTER!" Mr. Big shouts, cutting the air with both of his batons, one after another, and sending -two- flaming razors of chi streaking along the ground towards Urien.
COMBATSYS: Urien negates Double Ground Blaster from Mr.Big with Charged Metallic Sphere.
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Mr.Big 1/=======/=======|===----\-------\0 Urien
Urien holds motionless as the attack is sent his way, Mr. Big on the offensive once again. "Kill!" Urien growls out as an arm lifts, fist balled. Similar to earlier in the match, shards of metal fly out, blowing away the ground blaster--but dissipating as well, with the force of it. "I don't need to use my full power for the likes of you." There you go, Urien, find some quick quip that covers up the fact you have no reserve or super.
think
"Dammit," Mr. Big mutters. Double Ground Blaster. Always fails. "Alright, this is getting ridiculous. No more talk. I have a hot date later on tonight and I don't want to keep the girls waiting." Rushing in on Urien, Mr. Big tries to catch Urien around the neck yet again. If he's able to grab hold, he'll shake Urien around like a dog tearing up the morning paper, then throw the Greek into the air. Once in the air, Mr. Big will juggle him with numerous painful baton strikes, finishing up with one final jab of his baton while striking a Saturday Night Fever-esque pose.
COMBATSYS: Urien fails to interrupt Raging Spear from Mr.Big with Aegis Reflector.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Mr.Big 0/-------/-======|
COMBATSYS: Urien can no longer fight.
[ \\\\\\\\\\\ <
Mr.Big 0/-------/-======|
Tension builds, Big deciding to take Urien out. The call rings out. "AEGIS REFLECTOR!" Unfortunately, Urien hit PP, instead of just jab, and the pink barrier flies up in to the air, well away from Mr. Big, a threat to noone but low flying birds. Problem is, Urien is still threatened by Big--and takes a severe battering from the man ultimately. When it's all said and done, the god rolling down the hill, hitting rocks and other hazards along the way. Bigger they are... Big is declared the winner, and Urien will rush off to safety once he's hit rock bottom and is no longer unconscious from the descent. Good fight, good night!
"Heh," Mr. Big grunts as Urien falls. "Like there was ever any doubt." Waving to the fans, Mr. Big grabs on to the ladder of the Howard Enterprises helicopter and blows kisses to the cameras as he flies off to his date.
Log created by Mr.Big, and last modified on 02:43:00 02/13/2007.