SNF 2006.09 - Cat vs Bunny 2! Frei vs Nanako

Description: Bats are warm-blooded mammals, much like rabbits and cats. Unlike rabbits, they do not chew all the time to wear down their teeth. Unlike cats, they do not steal men's souls and make them their slaves. (Winner: Frei)

Still frame #1: Frei, bunny costumed, crouches on the ground, looking injured. Yuri, cat suited, stands above him with a wicked air. A big red arrow points to her, reading "KITTY". Another one points to Frei, reading "BUNNY".

Still frame #2: NekoYuri letting loose with her Nekoshoukouken.

Still frame #3: Cloud of dust! Kitty triumphant!

Still frame #5: Frei's blast erupting from the cloud and KOing Yuri to give the bunnies a narrow win. Huzzah! For this whole schtick to work you kind of have to envision it as a sepia-toned slide show. It fades to black.

(Press Start!)

Sitting on a retaining wall near the impromptu ring the SNF people have erected outside Asahigakouen near the business district is Frei Tsukitomi-Renard, happily munching down on a hot dog from a PILE of them sitting next to him on top of a spread piece of tin foil. The weather is pretty damned lovely right now, the last throes of summer being nice enough to be ouside but mild enough to enjoy without the heat haze. Occasionally the monk's swinging foot knocks a duffle bag at his feet.

In the background, the afternoon bell strikes four. The kiddies must be just getting off cleaning duty.

Envision an anime-type rendering of Frei's face over a rectangular text box, superimposed over this image.

FREI: "Man, I hope she gets here soon. Getting kind of late."

Now, envision a huge pile of dust kicking up in the near horizon, the large brown cloud growing larger and larger with each passing second. Creeping along quickly, said cloud consumes the skyline as it gets closer and closer...a dust storm??

Not likely. It's just that Nanako is running late to her fight.

"Waaaaaaah!" the cloud of dust cries, barreling forth across the streets before said cloud comes to a sudden, noisy halt just before the retaining wall. When it all clears there stands a tiny schoolgirl, Frei's opponent for this evening, wearing what seems to be a poorly-made, over-sized white cat costume, complete with an oversized (and painfully cute) cat head that wobbles about to and fro. In its mouth is the face of one Yanagimura Nanako.

Without hesitation the girl suddenly bows forward, that large head flopping forward as she exclaims, "Sorry sorry sorry!! I'm late, but I have good reason! I was finishing my costume and..." Pausing, the girl straightens her back a little, staring at the food at Frei's side.

"Hey, are those hot dogs??"

Shortly thereafter the screams of children erupt from the nearby school, a horde of tiny children rushing toward the designated SNF arena. They want to see the amazing battle between Bunny and Kitten, ROUND TWO!

Nanako blinks once before she hops back, a hand lifting up--though it's now more or less a shoddily done paw. "NYAHA!" the girl shouts. "Today I shall avenge my kitty brethren! Bunny-nya! You will not win today, nya!" Leaping back again, the catsuit-clad girl assumes a sentai-style pose as she cries, "Face me, but I assure you victory won't come easily, nya!" Another pose! "I have vegetables and have drunken lots of milk for strong bones and a healthy body, nya!"

It's best not to ask. Really.


Frei just... blinks as Nyanko arrives on the scene in a whirlwind of movement and faux fur. He stares at her blankly for a moment, hot dog trapped in his mouth. Time has stopped. But eventually he recovers, beginning to chew again and finishing his hot dog in the hands-free way that's so popular with the lads and lasses these days.

He was prepared for another battle with a kid audience -- he's not STUPID, he LIVES in Southtown -- but he wasn't prepared for DESTROY ALL SESAME STREET MONSTERS like his last fight against a school-age girl. Never let it be said that Frei Renard couldn't adapt on the fly, however. "Um, yes. Would you like one? I'll just be a moment." He shoves the foil full of hot dogs at Nanako and snags the duffle bag, rushing off toward the production team's van. A production assistant is vaingloriously pushed out of it and the door slams shut.

A tumbleweed rolls by.

Finally, bursting from the back of the van, Frei arrives. "Alright, Kitty Kat!" he shouts, vaulting off the rear bumper and landing in the ring just as the kids are starting to gather around, a nervous crew of teachers attempting to herd cats. And, uh, bunnies.

The major problem with this scenario is that Frei did not pack a bunny costume. He packed a BATMAN COSTUME.

"I come on defense of truth and justice! And bunnies! Which are mammals just like bats, warm-blooded you see, and rodents besides only they don't chew all the time to wear down their teath!" Thank you, Biology Professor Frei.

COMBATSYS: Frei has started a fight here.

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Frei             0/-------/-------|

Would she like one? "WOULD I!?" she exclaims, eyes wide and cheerful as she all but salivates over the prospect of getting free food. The hot dogs are then thusly presented, but that seems a thought of the past when the children arrive. Nanako's already assumed her sentai stances and declared this to be a glorious day for revenge! Revenge for her kitty brethren!

But...where'd he go?

Blinking as she stares forward, one arm held up high and the other pointed at the spot where he once sat, Nanako seems lost, only stirring to turn and face the van as its door slams shut. Staring at it, the girl in the oversized cat suit tilts her head to one side, the cat's head flopping again to the side as she watches and waits. Did he just disappear into the van?

"SCARED, I SEE!" she shouts, wagging a paw at the van. "NYA HA! Bunny is afraid of Kitty, nya!" Yeah, that's right kids. Bunnies are afraid of losing to kitties! That's when she turns, facing the crowd of children before she sweeps her arms up and assumes another ridiculous pose. "Have no fear, children! Kitty saves the day, nya! You kids like cats, right!?" Half the children cheer.

But, what's this!? Dramatically spinning around to face the new arrival, Nanako gawks from within the cat costume's mouth, hoping back in surprise at her opponent. " aren't a bunny! You're a bat! And bats are nasty creatures, some of which drink the blood of animals! How dare you show face, nya! I, Kitty Kat, will fight and do my best to prove that cats are superior to bunnies AND bats, nya!"

That's when kitty assumes another ridiculous pose, one ‘paw' stretching out, taunting her Batman costume-clad opponent to make the first move!

COMBATSYS: Nanako has joined the fight here.

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Frei             0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0           Nanako

COMBATSYS: Nanako focuses on her next action.

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Frei             0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0           Nanako

You'll have to walk a long mile before you can break Frei's dramatic stride, that's for sure. Without missing a beat, he grins triumphantly and jumps back, standing on the ropes (somewhat unsteadily but he's pulling it off) and putting hands on hips. Apparently he's got some grace to him after all. "Oh yeah? You think bloodsucking's bad, you ever see a hairball, lady? Kitties are only good and nice when they want to be! Don't be fooled, kids!" Sadly, he is perhaps overshooting the maturity of his target demographic by a WEE mite.

Reaching into the costume's utility belt, the monk grins and produces a Batarang (kinda) with a flourish. "They steal men's souls, and make them their slaves! But enough talk!" His hand glows blue-white for a moment before the monk hurls the batarang at Nanako at speed. "Have at you!" Of course, what's not obvious up front is that the thing is charged with chi, making it a very live ice grenade... when it gets close to the young kitten it explodes in a shower of ice shards. Scratch one batarang, but hey. There's probably twenty of them in that belt.

COMBATSYS: Frei successfully hits Nanako with Hyoushou Rengeki.

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Frei             0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0           Nanako

The girl in the suit looks aghast as he speaks ill of her cat brethren, mouth agape and eyes wide with disbelief. How. dare he! Furrowing her brows thereafter, the girl curls her hands into small fists, features stern as she exclaims, "And bats are just plain gross! Who owns a pet bat, huh? Huh!?" A smirk fills her face thereafter, wide and Cheshire-like before she chortles. "Nyohoho. Don't be fooled? The bat is the one to look out for!"

Really, though, she outta look out for herself. Scrambling to move out of that chi-laced boomerang's way, Nanako is too slow (thanks, cat suit!) and gets caught in a storm of icy shards! It hurts and stings, but damned if she's gonna give up so easily. Holding her ground, Nanako lifts a paw to dust her costume off before she points a paw at him, shouting, "Cheap tricks!" But that said she doesn't do much, if anything. Instead she holds her ground and reconsiders her options. That freaking HURT.

COMBATSYS: Nanako gains composure.

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Frei             0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0           Nanako

Well, that worked better than Frei could have ever hoped. He leaps down into the arena and points a finger as Nanako decides to get herself back under control. He points with one finger at her and grins wildly. Not that you can see it, because... cowl. "And that's why Catwoman robs banks and stuff! While Batman... mostly broods in his Batcave and works up a load of sexual tension!" A few of the teachers clap hands over the kids ears; some of the more mature kids giggle under their breath. And the Howard Enterprises PR department prepares for the storm of letters.

However, Frei doesn't attack; instead, he stands his ground, keeping that hand up. In the wake of the chi he begins to summon, his Batcape flutters dramatically behind him. "Bats may seem icky, but they're also pretty dang smart, and good hunters too! Plus... it's not what something looks like that's important! It's what they do that counts! And Miss Kitty... this bat don't stand for tyranny!"

COMBATSYS: Frei gathers his will.

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Frei             0/-------/-======|==-----\-------\0           Nanako

"Wh...what!?" Aghast again, Nanako stares in disbelief as ‘Batman' makes such a saucy statement and bold claims. A brow ticks lightly, features pulled into a comical scowl before the girl hops up in place, that large, oversized cat head atop her head flopping wildly about. "How dare you make such horrible accusations, nya! I'll make you take back those words and then some, nya!!"

How does she plan on doing such a thing? Well, she scampers over to a garbage can and hefts it high overhead, her paws attempting to grip onto the object (the faux fur and felt makes that a touch hard, you see) before she spins in place and releases it, sending it flying toward Bat-Frei. "NYA!! Kitties don't stand for tyranny!"

COMBATSYS: Frei blocks Nanako's Large Thrown Object.

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Frei             0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0           Nanako

"I don't take back nothin', lady!" Frei says sharply, but he's grinning. As the garbage can comes in, he does something... fairly unorthodox: he snaps a kick out and basically punts it out of the way, cleverly hiding the slight amount of pain it causes by grinning even wider. "See, a real hero would never attack with garbage!" he says, and now Frei's got the little girls of the audience clear on his side. Not using garbage is a pretty important hero thing.

Rushing toward the cat-suited girl, Frei gathers a sphere of golden-red energy in his hands. "Real heroes attack with big shiny light thingies and scream attack names and stuff!" To demonstrate, he thrusts both hands forward and attempts to explode a burst of yang chi right in Nanako's face. "SUCK GAS, EVILDOER!"

...wrong costume, you idiot.

COMBATSYS: Frei successfully hits Nanako with Hizashi.

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Frei             1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0           Nanako

"I was just tryin' to put you back in your place, nya!" she counters swiftly, pointing a finger at the villain clad in Batman's sweet duds. "Evil people such as yourself belong there, right kids? Because it's trash that makes society a scary place to live!" Another sentai pose.

Clearly off her guard, that blast of chi erupts in her face, sending the girl flying back quite painfully. Does she fall? Hell no! Standing her ground, catsuit-wearning Nanako lifts her head and again points a paw forward, crying, "Bats are just big bullies, nya!!" That's when she rushes forward and attempts to snag Bat-Frei around the waist from behind...

COMBATSYS: Nanako successfully hits Frei with Nyanko Crusher.

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Frei             1/---====/=======|=======\-------\0           Nanako

Snagging him in a psionically-enduced bear hug, the tiny, catsuit-clad school girl HEFTS the man up and holds him high above, her grip sure. "Children! Be sure to eat those five food groups so you can be big and strong. NYANKOOOOO!!" Her cry issued, the girl's back arches, and with her goes Frei, caught in the midst of a schoolgirl's German suplex. "CRUSHER!!"


That didn't go as planned at all.
Frei attempts at the last second to gently push Nanako's hands... er, paws... out of the way at the last second, but it doesn't seem to do him a lot of good, as he is not expecting the extra boost of oomph the girl gets from her Psycho Power. Good thing the cowl masks his look of surprise, and then pain as he's rammed into the dirt.

However, it doesn't take long for him to recover. Frei's a pretty resilient guy, overall. Staying in a crouch for a moment, he holds one hand behind him to steady himself. "I've never bullied anyone in my life, ma'am," he says evenly. "But if someone picks on me, I don't take it lying down." Beat. "Not that I'm encouraging any of you kids out there to resort to violence when you're being bullied."

And a beat after the unexpected PSA, the monk suddenly leaps forward and back, somersaulting backwards and aiming a crescent kick right at Nanako's jaw, hopefully where and when she won't be expecting it. The burst of crimson fire in the path of the attack is just for extra oomph.

COMBATSYS: Nanako fails to counter Kouen no Tsurugi EX from Frei with Auspicious Hand.

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Frei             1/---====/=======|=======\=------\1           Nanako

When all is said and done the tiny girl rolls aside, though she has slight trouble, as the bulbous cat head currently residing on her crown makes that quite a chore. A few grunts and mumbles are issued before she scrambles up to her feet, dusting herself off. When ready, a hand points, her ‘paw' aimed for Frei.

"You're bullyin' me!" she protests, wagging a paw about. "And you've bullied my kitty brethren! I'll punish you, y ‘hear!?" Her lips crack into a huge smile, eyes bright. Hey, she's having a bit of fun here!

Too much fun, maybe. Try as she might to step in and catch that foot she's smacked heartily, sent flying back with a ‘WAGH' and landing in the dirt. Down, yes. But she's not out yet!

Springing to her feet, the tiny girl dusts herself off before she pulls her hands into fists, hidden beneath that abundant amount of crudely sewn cloth made to be like paws. "Man, gotta focus and get my act together, nya!"

In a weird way, Nanako's comment actually rings true a little bit. Frei's either been very lucky or particularly on his game this afternoon. Either way, the kids are liking it... somewhat. Kids love an underdog, and Miss Kitty is getting quite a cheering section, in fact. They don't want to see her lose after she put in so much effort... rather interestingly, the same cheering section Frei had as Mr. Bunny.

Pausing a moment to back off, Frei nods and steps back a little, once again gathering his strength (and making for another cool cape flutter). "I'm not bullying you because you know how to fight. That's what's important, I think." He grins at Nanako, making a 'bring it' gesture. "Cats are cats, and bats are bats. What's most important is being the best of who you are regardless." A few of the kids look puzzled at this odd statement, but some of the teachers look pretty pleased. Maybe there won't need to be a lawsuit over the sexual tension thing after all.

COMBATSYS: Frei gathers his will.

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Frei             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\=------\1           Nanako

Looking up when she's properly dusted off, Nanako's features peer curiously at her opponent, lips pulling into a thin line across her face. Well, he has a point, and she can't really argue with that, now can she? So she grins, her smile broad as she hops up and points a paw his way. "Very well, then! This is a friendly fight, because we're both fighters that know our stuff!" Well, sorta. Nanako's looking pretty unskilled here it seems. But that's OKAY!

Rather than outright attack the girl stands her ground, legs parting shoulder's width as she holds her hands up and out in another ridiculous sentai pose. "For cats and children everywhere I'll do my best, nya!!"

COMBATSYS: Nanako gathers her will.

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Frei             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\=====--\1           Nanako

That's what Frei likes to hear. Grinning back, he adopts a similar stupid sentai pose, hands in front of him and suddenly flickering with a prismatic light. "Me too! For... well, I guess 'for Batman cosplayers everywhere' is a bit stupid." The energy reaches a fever pitch and the monk moves his hands to his sides, cupped there. A few kids in the audience who are of the particularly perceptive bent recognize this attack from the last time, and a few of them even start to mimick Frei's movements.

"But... I will do it for every kid out there. Yeah, you guys!" He grins at the crowd, a huge sphere of roiling rainbow energy tightly compressed between his hands. If you want to go the whole nine yards you need to go through the motions sometimes. "So you can grow up to be what you want. A kitty or a bat or a bunny, or a wolf or a whatever. The point is to just... be, as good as you can." English teachers cringe at the grammar, but the sentiment is getting through. Kids start mimicking their favorite animals.

And something clicks inside Frei's head.

When Sakura challenged him to find his own path. When he fought Kain and was preoccupied with how being someone else had hurt Jiro so much. When Aislinn had asked, 'why do you fight'? The times when Frei's attack changed into something other than what he usually made of it, when the secret of the Hadou he was chasing became a little clearer.

They were all times when he was forced to think, or acknowledge, or really test his knowledge of his self. Of opportunity, of identity. When he had to think about what made Frei, Frei... and realized the vast elements within him. Something his strongest attack had always used.

"I am vast, I contain multitudes..." he mutters under his breath, then grins at Nanako. "Well, quoting Whitman isn't really fight-worthy though, so, I guess I'll just say..." And the monk dashes at Nanako with lightning speed, his hands thrust forward and the prismatic energy expoding in a huge wave of color and light, as the monk shouts: "HADOOOOUKEEEEEEEN!"

COMBATSYS: Nanako blocks Frei's Fukami Reikai.

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Frei             0/-------/---====|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2           Nanako

"Yeah, for the children!" Nanako cries, pumping a fist into the air as she hops in place and beams. Not one for many words, she lets Frei do the talking, because...well, what he says is actually pretty good and good enough to get a point across. She, however, sweeps a hand toward the children, eyes serious as she states, "But don't forget to brush your teeth and do what your parents say, ‘cause you've gotta respect them, nya!" Or somethin'. She doesn't have time to worry about that. For, you see, Frei's getting ready to hurl a copyright-infringing fireball right at her.

Blinking widely, Nanako makes a horrified face before she lifts her arms up and blocks the oncoming blast, a good portion of her catsuit's sleeves shredding and fraying as the blast tries to barrel through. Holding her ground, Nanako keeps her face stern as she stays put. Only after it has dissipated does she drop her arms and assume a serious expression. Time to give it HER all!

"I won't hold back, nya! ULTIMATE ATTACK!" A sentai pose is assumed, the girl crouched low, one arm before her and the other high and back. "SUPER CAT ATTACK!" The ground beneath her erupts with pink Psycho Power, her form (catsuit and all) shimmering pink before she lurches forward and drives right at him! And when she's close? BOOM. A column of pink energy erupts all around her, to buffet Bat-Frei all around!

COMBATSYS: Nanako successfully hits Frei with Purifying Light of Dawn.
- Power hit! -

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Frei             1/-----==/=======|====---\-------\0           Nanako

Ultimate attack? It... really is pretty much exactly as advertised.
His arms fainty glowing with energy, Bat-Frei makes an attempt to block that column of energy... and is totally unprepared for the ferocity of it. The real terror of it isn't particularly physical, though Frei's certainly taking plenty of punishment, but from that same irritating mental encroachment that Alma's attacks cause.

Frei... really HATES that sort of thing, though he'd never admit that to anyone except under pretty intense duress.

The pink column completely obscures the monk from view for a good long while, and when the smoke clears Frei is crouched on the ground, the Batman costume pretty much shredded. Luckily the monk thought to wear a set of normal clothes -- a loose white tank top and jean shorts -- under it just for such an occasion. He grins as he straightens, though. "Well, so much for that. But maybe it's for the best. No cats, no bats. Just Frei."

Holding his hands in front of him, palms turned inward, Frei begins gathering a small, baseball-sized sphere of golden-red energy. "I can't be out-special effects-ed, though, just so you know. When it comes to shiny nifty energy attacks of all flavors..." And with a quick motion he hurls the sphere at Nanako with impressive speed. When it gets close? The deceptively tiny attack bursts into a HUGE display of fireworks-like blasts of enery in gold, red, and orange. "...I've got the patent!"

COMBATSYS: Frei successfully hits Nanako with Hizashi Ronde.

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Frei             0/-------/------=|=======\==-----\1           Nanako

When the proverbial dust clears and that cyclone of Psycho Power disappears from sight, it leaves poor Frei to fall rather unceremoniously to the ground, and leaves Nanako to roll clumsily back and hop to her feet, panting. Man...this guy is way too tough!

As he rises the girl beams, hands peeking out from the tatters of her catsuit sleeves. Rubbing a finger idly under her nose, Nanako seems quite please with her girly display of Psycho Power, eyes alight with personal pride. "Nya! You've done good too, y'know!" Perhaps...too good. Not that she'd admit it.

Now fireworks? Looking utterly surprised as that ball hurls at her, the girl scrambles comically, arms pinwheeling as she tries to dodge that blast, only to get caught and stuck in its explosion of brilliant red and gold. A cry escapes her, her catsuit's gut tattered up, her school uniform showing beneath as she flies back and hits the ground.

"N. ..not givin' up yet!" she cries, hopping to her feet! Hands pulled into fists, the girl's features are stern, self-assured as she rushes forward, attempting to Psycho-imbued punch for his gut. But, should that connect, that's not the end of it...

COMBATSYS: Nanako can no longer fight.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Frei             0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Frei blocks Nanako's Seven Sacred Strikes.

[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Frei             0/-------/---====|

...and that's where it ends, Nanako's catsuit-clad body buffeted back and stumbling to the ground clumsily. Oof.

With a last-ditch defensive effort, Frei goes on a sort of affirmative defense, placing his hands palm-out in front of his stomach and sucking up Nanako's punch on them. And it's a good thing she falls over, too, because the Psycho-empowered force of the blow leaves the monk's hands feeling pretty damned numb. Unceremoniously, he falls back a step and then down on his backside, landing in a sitting position.

He gives Nanako a goofy smile as the kids all cheer for the pretty pretty light show. The costumes are gone, true, but the fight remains alive in the kids heads... and they all start talking at once about what kind of superhero they'd be if they learned how to fight. Cats and bunnies are gone, but what they left behind was imagination. All in all, it's probably a safe bet that Frei and Nanako both would be pleased with that.

"Ow," Frei adds, eloquently.

Log created by Nanako, and last modified on 19:36:47 09/16/2006.