Description: Rock "Old Fart" Howard and The Skeleton King go at it. WARNING: Midgets were harmed during the making of this fight. We sincerely apologize. (Winner: Rock)
This fight took a long time. It's no wonder that now, with the gears finally turning, that Rock is an old man by now. He's at least sixty-three, hobbling into the ring on a cane. Despite his long beard, he's still clad in his usual outfit, complete with his red jacket, albeit slightly large on his skinny, shrunken frame, at this point.
"Grun," he says, making perfect sense only to himself. "Whossere? Whassgoin' on? S'it fight time? Oh good. ... can I take a nap first?"
COMBATSYS: Rock has started a fight here.
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Rock 0/-------/-------|
Damn right, this fight took forEVER. In fact, if Rock's over sixty, that would make King... Dead. Yes, folks, the skeleton of King is going to fight here, in this strange arena floating over Tokyo like a bird waiting to drop it's payload on a car. The skeleton remains dressed in the clothing she was well-known for, the dapper tuxedo-esque outfit, and it shakily makes it's way towards the center of the area. For some odd reason, the Grateful Dead's 'Touch of Grey' plays on the sound system instead of her usual theme song...
COMBATSYS: King has joined the fight here.
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King 0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0 Rock
Rock begins to hobble towards his opponent, before coughing a little bit, uncomfortable. "Alrighty, alrighty.... young whipper-snappers wantin' things be done on time... .yeach." And then Rock drops his cane to the floor, and is suddenly made of grease lightning. Almost immediately, Rock hurls a wave of energy right at King's skull and bones, fingers trembling. "Reppu--*cough*--ken!"
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits King with Reppuken.
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King 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Rock
Like a softball hitting a house of cards, King's skeleton explodes under the force of the old man's Reppuken. As the last of her bones settle onto the ground, a team of fifty midgets come swarming out from the grandstand, furiously working to put King back together. It takes a few moments, but they work fast, those little people. Now, though her skull is upside-down, it would appear King is ready to fight anew!
COMBATSYS: King focuses on her next action.
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King 0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0 Rock
It appears that King has her own personal squad of Kobun. But that's fine, because Rock is slow, staggering, and--wait, that's not a positive at all. Rock's sticking to this strategy, though, and he once again sweeps his hands from side to side, hurling /two/ waves of chi right into his opponent, each one racing across the floating island and into his opponent.
COMBATSYS: King slows Double Reppuken EX from Rock with Venom Strike.
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King 0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0 Rock
Oh, snap! King's bones lurch to life, as if controlled by strings or stop-motion photography, as the big-honkin' wave-o-doom comes sidling towards them. Spinning around comically, one leg is lifted into the air and a ball of energy is fired out of the heel like a cannon, blowing a hole in the wave, but not negating it.
*BAM*
Again, here comes the midget army, trying to quickly put the woman's bones back together. It's a jigsaw puzzle, and each time, they seem to get something wrong. Now her femurs are attached where her humeri should be, and vice versa. Looks slightly odd.
Rock lurches forward with one swift, staggering step, a cane in his hand as he makes a simple manuveur -- use it to sweep King's legs (arms?!) out from under her, and drop the skeleton to the ground with one quick movement. "Goshdarned Clash of the Titans bullcrap young whippersnappers -- why I oughta kick the snot out of all y'all and then some--git yer lil midgets pals too, don'tchaknow it--"
COMBATSYS: Rock successfully hits King with Quick Throw.
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King 0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0 Rock
Rock successfully jumps King's bones.
Hilarity.
However, the throw doesn't quite go off like expected, as King spins around in a rather odd fashion, apparently getting caught in invisible strings. As they quickly become untangled, one of King's legs comes flying off, spinning it's way towards the old man with considerable force. A voice from the ether says, "Oops."
COMBATSYS: Rock counters Tornado Kick from King with Joudan Crack Counter.
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King 0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0 Rock
"Ooooooora!" Rock's can flies like lightning, catching King's flying foot and neatly deflecting it off to the side. But it's more of a calculated motion than it looks; the poor old codger's timed it just right to catch King on the backswing, striking her across the cheek(bone) with the thing. "Why! Won't! You! Stay! Dead! Daggitall!"
As the legbone is caught by one of the skeleton's miniature attendants, King's skull is taken for a quick spin around... and around... and around... and around... Oh, boy. With a quick jerk, King's other leg is raised up, flipping the skeleton over in mid-air, jamming it towards the old man's beard. One of the other midgets presses 'Play' on a small boombox, causing it to suddenly spit out a prerecorded vocalization, "TRAP SHOOO-*clk*-*clk*-OOT."
COMBATSYS: King successfully hits Rock with Trap Shot.
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King 0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0 Rock
The midget that caught the leg comes rushing up to Rock, slapping him in the face with the foot bone a dozen or so times before spinning one last time to baseball-bat him across the beard. He then turns quickly and puts the legbone back in place before running off from the carnage.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! You dat-gum-whipper-snappin' punks, I oughta--" Rock gets the snot beaten out of him by midgets, but that doesn't prevent him from lurching forward in an attempt to slam what's left of King with a hard right delivered to the spot where her nose once was. The intent is simple: Knock her head off, quite simply, and start cutting some puppet strings.
COMBATSYS: King interrupts Fierce Punch from Rock with Hold Rush.
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King 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Rock
*CLACK*
King's head tilts back just as she is hit, causing Rock's fist to miss it's target, and instead punch her in the spinal column. What this does is twofold. One, it lets Rock succeed in knocking her head off, and also causes King's head to therefore be attached to the old man's arm. Proof that this thing is under some strange level of control is evident as the lower jaw starts gnashing against Rock's arm, chewing it's way up the limb with sharp teeth.
And, as a distraction of sorts, a skeletal hand grabs Rock by the beard and twines it's fingers into it. It's gonna hurt something fierce to get dem bones out of that beard now.
Painful. This whole thing is painful. But that's okay, because Rock is used to pain. Arthritis, and whatnot. Once the midgets are done with him, Rock gets back onto his cane, limping King's way. "Eh--eh--eheh you're pretty tough, ain'tche... I've seen worse than you, skin and bones... whippersnappers... I used to fight! In the snow! Uphill! /Both ways!/"
COMBATSYS: Rock focuses on his next action.
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King 1/-------/=======|=======\-------\0 Rock
King's skull continues to chew it's way up Rock's arm, until if can finally chew up no further. From it's eye sockets, two rose petals suddenly fall... They drift slowly to the ground, resting before Rock steps on them in his shuffling.
A pinpoint shadow appears. Slowly, it starts to grow in size, then becomes much larger, much faster. A whistling sound, like the days of the air raids on Britain by the Luftwaffe, is heard... And about fifty bunches of roses comes hurtling from the sky at Rock!
COMBATSYS: Rock interrupts Surprise Rose from King with Raging Storm'.
- Power hit! -
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King 1/---====/=======|=====--\-------\0 Rock
"Grrr... doesn't matter how old I am... I can still take you on! Nyaaaaaar!" Rock explodes with chi, spraying energy in every direction and all but scattering flowers in every direction like shrapnel. Some of this shrapnel, no doubt, catches the midgets, breaking skin and tearing muscle with its sheer explosive power.
The skeleton is VAPORIZED! Whoa! All that seems to be left is that damn skull, which sits there, trying not to be noticed as the midget army skitters away. The fight seems to be over, non? Only, it's not. Those midgets return quickly, pushing giant fans into a circle around Rock and turning them on, quickly dropping the temperature. Ice water is sprayed into the fans as well, dropping it even further. It's like they're trying to make his arthritis act up something fierce! But why?
Well, the answer comes soon after. A ghostly apparition of King in her prime suddenly appears, wearing a ball gown. She curtsies to Rock, who, apparently, has reverted back into his more youthful self. Taking the young man's hand, she starts to tango... And if all goes well, he will take the lead. Only it's all an illusion, and that arthritis will get him once it fades.
COMBATSYS: Rock counters Illusion Dance from King with Gedan Crack Counter.
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King 0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0 Rock
"Arghod that's creepy," Rock mumbles, as he starts to--dance. "Oh," he rambles. "These old bones of mine. I haven't danced since I was just a lad. I think I remember how," the old man says, pathetically. "One... two... er.... four?" And then he stomps on King's phantasmal foot. "Grugh, that's not it--" Again. And again. And again and again and again. And then, just to be complete -- a few guys burst in in tan jump suits.
"Holy crap, Ray! Do you see that?!"
"It's an ectoplasmic manifestation linked to the remains of the deceased. It's got to be a class four--"
"Whatever, boys. Let's hook her and cook her!
With a shriek, King's skull explodes as particle beams cut into the illusory dance. Though shrapnel may or may not injure Rock, the damage is done. The King is dead. Long live the King.
The trap is set, and everything, from the midgets to the fans to the water itself, gets sucked into the trap. Seems those midgets were manifestations as well. A fat, clown-faced one gives Egon the finger on his way into the trap. "Bite me, assjacket!" The Ghostbusters, now triumphant, gather their gear and head out of Tokyo to Metro, where they have their storage system.
Oh, and Rock... You still have metacarpals and phalanxes stuck in your beard. You should know that.
COMBATSYS: King can no longer fight.
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Rock 0/-------/--=====|
COMBATSYS: Rock catches Thrown Object from King with Joudan Crack Counter.
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Rock 0/-------/-======|
The shrapnel buries itself into Rock's body, digging messily into his skin. The blond flexes, however, inhaling... and exhaling. And then he /explodes/, old man flesh flying everywhere. Everywhere! In its wake there is only Rock, once again young and vital, like some sort of logic-defying vampire. "I am whole again," he yells. "Whole again and ready to feed on the blood of the innocent!" And then he flies away. Why not?
King wakes up in her bed in Southtown, covered in a cold sweat. "That's it," she says, shaking her head. "I have got to cut down on the alcohol."
Log created by King, and last modified on 19:32:58 01/07/2006.