Neo League 826 - #829: Adon vs Birdie

Description: BIRDIE and ADON fight for what is RIGHT in the middle of the NIGHT for PARTTTYYYYYYYYY. Also a lot of things are destroyed in this BEAVER WORLD PLAYTIME ADVENTURE like ALL OF BEAVERTON. ( Winner: Adon )

Beaver World. One of the largest theme parks in Canada (and one of the primary sources of tourism for Manitoba), the park is a monument to everything wonderful about Canada. Primarily, Beavers. The national animal, plant, and pop song ('Leave Her A Beaver' by Celine Dion), the park garners over 600,000 people a year (more than the entire population of Canada). Ken Masters, with promises of tobacco and protection against the evil mountain queen Sarah of Palin, was given access to the park for his kombat between mortals. While violence was normally a criminal offense (earning you 3 weeks of stern talking), here in Beaver World, it was now a common sideshow.

In the official Beaver Battle Pit, Adon stood in his beaver corner, eyeing his maple & beaver stew he bought out of whim. Combining beaver gravy with maple syrup, he considered it too thick for his tastes. And yet, as he dipped a french fry in it, he found that if he used the POWERS of MUAY THAI, he could endure it. The match judges stood by Beavis the Beaver, the mascot of Beaver World and the former Prime Minister of Canada from 1867 to 1891 (where Beavis Eh' Macdonald lead his Beaver comrades to overthrow the British after being denied the State of Washington.) Beavis was overviewing the official rules of the Neoleague as the tourists began pouring into the stands. The Emperor just stood there, mulling about his opponent. Birdie. The former champion. A true prize, and maybe a difficult one.

Or maybe not.


Yes, here at beaver world out of everywhere, Birdie had decided to show up to fight off this Muay Thai Master. To once more return to his former title and glorly!? Perhaps, Birdie was the ruler of the final Neo League group, and that could possibly have its benefits in todays world. Put it on a resume? You're gonna be noticed.

The question is... after so long of not fighting in the Neo League... will he still be as good?! There is only one way to tell! And that is to fight ADON of MUAY THAI HIMSELF.

A challenge for Birdie. Birdie, however, likes challenges.

Standing in his Beaver Pit near Beavis Beaver while Beaverland tourists begin to BEAVER their BEAVER GEAR into the BEAVER STAIUM to watch two TOP BEAVERS BEAVER it out for KING BEAVER.



Beavis calls out to the crowd as they pour in. "ABOOT WHAT, BEAVIS!" Is the reply as waves and waves of laughter pour in. Beavis had his own TV show, "Leave It To Beavis,' Where that was the character's catchphrase. Naturally, the man in the Beavis suit wasn't the real Beavis, but it helped with the audience. And yes, I mean the original beavis. Like most Beavers, they never die, only grow larger and more aggressive. Yes, the dark secret of Beavis was truly a terrible one. The mood disorders. The very rage that Canadians seek to destroy consuming their carnal Canadian God. And yet, Beavis lurked in the underground sanctum of Beaver World, sleeping away the nightmare. One day, should he awake, the time of the Beaver Ones would rise up, to seize their kingdom.

Unless Jaguars stopped them.

"BIRDIE!" Adon howled as he threw his Beaver Cup of Beaver Stew at a kid wearing a Beaver Hat. "SO! The CHAMPION of the NEO LEAGUE has come to face ME! ADON! The EMPEROR of MUAY THAI!" The man stomped towards Beavis Beaver and the Bird, eyes burning. The Beaver notices the Jaguar coming, so he immediately continued the match progression. "WELL, DONTCHA KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE ADON IS READY TO GIVE A WHIRL AROUDN WITH BIRDIE! ADON IS THE BOSS OF MUAY THAI, EH! AND WHAT ABOOT THAT BIRDIE! A REAL SHARP SHOOTER, AND FROM ENGLAND, TOO! MAY HIS ENTRAILS ROT IN THE SOUL OF THE QUEEN, HYUK HYUK!" Beavis stepped away, the giant suit squeaking as he shuffled faster. Adon, on the other hand, did only picked up speed. "GO! Beavis! And START the FIGHT before I KILL YOU!"

Beavis complies with a whimper.

And with that, Adon fires forward, knee first, pouncing on Beavis with a flying kick. With the entire crowd screaming, the Jaguar of MUAY THAI takes Beavis's head clean off, destroying the magic that Beavis gave. Forever, children would have their Beaver World experience ruined.

All because of Adon.

COMBATSYS: Adon has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Adon             0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Birdie has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Birdie           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Adon

Birdie just stands there, a fat shit eating grin firmly burned into his face. "Heh-heh. Yeah, that's why I'm here. Ain't nothing to do with anything else. Just wanted ta try out my strength, you know? Heheheh." Birdie announces with a grin so wide it threatens to overtake his face. Oh how wide is his grin. His pearly white teeth and crazy hair style added with him denim everything, Birdie looks like he's in the last generation and was left there.

Mohawk and chain and all. Leave it to the British Brawler to be far behind eveyone else in STYLE.

Though, something inside Birdie stirs when Adon crashing through Beavis's head, kicking him to pieces. "Haw haw haw haw!" Birdie cries with a terrible laugh, "That's the funniest shit I've ever seen!" Birdie announces, "All those bloody children is gonna be scarred dats for sure." Birdie states, the head landing clear upon his feet, rolling to a stop while looking up at him.

"Well, lets see if we can't give this git his revenege, hehe." Birdie announces, picking up the head of the Beaver before hurling it directly towards Adon, attempting to whack Adon in the head with BEAVERHEAD.


COMBATSYS: Adon parries Birdie's Large Thrown Object!

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Birdie           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Adon

If everyone thought Birdie's grin was big, Adon's must have just been massive. As he plowed through the Canadian symbol of Beaver World, he was just smiling ear to ear. Of course, the kids were being traumatized. It wasn't so bad that he took Beavis's head right off. But the intensity of the knee-butt managed to bloody the nose of the poor teenage boy wearing it. So from what every saw, there was the decapitated body of Beavis with blood running from the orfice. But there was no pity from the Emperor of Muay Thai. If there was one thing that Adon knew, it was this.

Never leave your beaver exposed.

Adon turned over to Birdie, turning up his nose at the laughter. Lips closed, he judges the man. And as he picked up the Beaver Head, the Jaguar suddenly bursts out in an high-pitched cackled. "GYA HE HEEE HAAAAA! The EMPEROR of MUAY THAI IS AMUSED at the BEHEADING of BEAVERS! You are a MAN of TASTE!" The Emperor briskly marches towards the giant of a brit, gauging him. Great sense of humor, excellent choice of hair, truly this was a man of great respect. With that, Adon picked up speed, and leapt through the air.

He hated respectful people.

Even as the Beaver head is spiked towards him, he simply brings his arms up. As it comes, he simply catches it with perfect form, and tosses it right at Bertha Beaver, Beavis's wife. "OH MY GOODNESS!" Bertha howls as she falls to the ground.

As everyone saw the most beloved couple in Canada being destroyed, Adon was springing into action. The Emperor of Muay Thai was trying to leap over Birdie and grab his shoulders. If he managed to get a grip, he would use his incredible Muay Thai power and momentum to hurl him over his head, and to the ground.

Or maybe right into Baby Beaver, Bertha's and Beavis's child.

COMBATSYS: Birdie endures Adon's Jaguar Carry EX.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Birdie           0/-------/----===|==-----\-------\0             Adon

Explosive tendencies!

Even as Birdie ptiches, it looks like the Muay Thai Man's not going to be having any of that any time soon. Adon explodes forward, grasping hold of the beaver in mid air as he came through the air towards Birdie, picking up speed.

Birdie's a large man. Maybe a little crazy due to his own somewhat powerful muscles, but no more crazy than any other man.

His eyes swivel towards Adon as he comes right through, the head send towards Bertha Beaver. Birdie's got no idea wht the hell is going on anymore, except that Adon is coming over really quickly.

Well, Adon does get a handle on Birdie. But Birdie also allows himself to be grasped, hurled over and towards the ground, right into Baby Beaver, the monsterous meteor of meat crashing down onto the helpless child so much that Birdie crushes him underneath his monsterous feet. So much that it explodes on Birdie as he lands.

Birdie is fired back over towards Adon abruptly, his lips flapping in the air as he heads forward, dangerous hair out as he moves to ram right into Adon's explosed NOTHING. But everything is a viable tactic for Birdie.


COMBATSYS: Adon blocks Birdie's Bull Horn.

[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Birdie           0/-------/----===|===----\-------\0             Adon

Fortunately for Birdie, he did not crush and explode a child. Because it is illegal for Canadian Children to find work, in the Baby Beaver suit was a small French-Canadian dwarf. Cratered into the ground, Canada truly regretted the day they agreed to Ken Master's blood matches.

But at the same time, Alaska's raging hoards were preparing to retake the Yukon.

As Birdie blasted back to Adon, the Emperor of Muay Thai had little time to react. His offense was too fast, too aggressive, and overextended himself. As the giant hair-do comes, he does the only thing that makes sense.

Block with with his own hair.

Sparks fly over the entire arena as gel strikes gel. A single spark falls on Bertha Beaver, which quickly bursts into flames. "BWAAAAAA!" The woman cries as she runs around. And Adon? His scalp and face hurts a bit, but his hairstyle holds strong, despite it's lack of length. Struggling with the bigger man, he shoves his hair to the side. "IMPRESSIVE! The EMPEROR of MUAY THAI is again IMPRESSED! Tell me, where have you LEARN such TALENTS!" Adon's smug grin erupted again as he dove into Birdie's torso, attempting to get him into a clutch and smash his knee into the man's torso. If successful, he would then promptly hurl the bigger man into the burning Bertha, attempting to put out the poor man's flames.

COMBATSYS: Birdie blocks Adon's Jaguar Slam.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Birdie           0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0             Adon

Birdie's hair is blocked by hair!? What the hell is going on?!

Well, Birdie surely doesn't know. Hair meets hair and its a mess. Its entirely unpredictable the outcome even with the BEAVERS dying its very good and okay by all except by all of Canada.

Wham Bam Bam Bam. Birdie's shoved across the ground as the hair strikes, even with Bertha bursting into flames. Birdie gets told he's impressive, by and emperor?! SCORE. Now Vega and Rugal aren't the only ones who think Birdie is a monster of meat. What comes next though is FRIGHTENING. Birdie is put up against Adon's unsurmountable mover of DIVING INTO BIRDIE'S TORSO. Even as a knee crashing into Birdie's torso, his arms raise up to slow it, so only a bit gets struck into his torso.

Getting thrusted across the arena ground, Birdie beaver stares over towards Adon. "I ain't done yet!" Birdie announces, grasping a hold of his chain before flying forward towards Adon, weapon chain in hand, attempting to plow right into Adon chain in hand. IF IT WORKS, it might sting a little.

"I learned it by beating the bloody hell out of blokes!"

COMBATSYS: Adon fails to interrupt Improvised Grapple from Birdie with Jaguar Kick.
- Power fail! -

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Birdie           0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0             Adon

Adon wasn't even paying attention to Birdie now. He was currently focusing on all the chaos going around. oh ho ho. Silly Beavers. They would all fall to Muay Thai. As his kneecaps get absorbed by Birdie's massive pillars of beef, his toss is somewhat blunted. Oh well. Birdie's personality is what brings him over the top. That subtle charm of rottenness with not pretenses. It was a very sincere meanness, which is very hard to find these days.

As Birdie is rushing in with his chain, Adon himself is leaping from his stand still. His idea was to smash through Birdie's defense with his trademark move: Already he was in midair, flipping over. Drawing his leg up, he was lining his attack up, energy boiling in his heel. "JAAAAAAGGA KEE-


The Emperor of Muay Thai gets his leg caught in the chain. As Birdie piles forward, Adon gets his ankle caught in the chain. In what is moderately comical, he is dragged along, Birdie's feet trampling him. With no defenses, no chance to block, Adon does the next best thing: flex. Yes, his entire body was turning into like stone, absorbing the blows like leather armor. And with each smash, he lets loose a squeak.

Birdie gets a handle on the Emperor of Muay Thai by luck!? What luck! Birdie was intensely focused on the fight. Haha, alright, that's not entirely true. He did love a good laugh or two on the fault of the stupid as hell people about it, added in with the fact that those damn beavers were simply hilarious to watch explode now and then. Hey, you can't fault Birdie there! That's exactly what he was going for.

As Adon flexxes after he gets back up, Birdie mimics the master of Muay Thai, flexing something fierce as he tries to OUTFLEX adon in this MASTER OF FLEXING FLEXATHON.

"HAHA. JAGGAR. That's pretty catchy." Birdie announces, "Maybe I should say a bird and do that..." Birdie wonders. And then he remembers of other people crying out their bird names.

"HAHAHA. Hell no, I ain't no bloody raven bitch." Birdie snorts, looking towards the master of Muay Thai.




COMBATSYS: Birdie focuses on his next action.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Birdie           0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0             Adon

The answer is 200. 200 muscles.


As Adon continues to flex, his body still biting back at the rattling it took. That HURT. But Adon, his face still warped into a grin, he gauged his opponent. "If you TRULY wish to CRUSH your FOES, you should TAKE UP MUAY THAI! A MAN like YOU would TEAR MEN ASUNDER, once you picked up some SPEED!" The Jaguar of Muay Thai lowered his posture, eyes burning. "SPEED JUST LIKE-"

"Hold it right there!"

Before Birdie and Adon was the red-garbed hero of Canada: A Mountie! "It has come to my attention that you've been attacking some good citizens of Canada, dontcha know. It is against the law, and that's not good at all, eh? Really off colour." Adon sort of stares at the man for a moment, before grinning sharply. Immediately, he grabs the mountie, and with a slow, awkward swing, attempts to hurl the Canadian right into the Brit. "Clean this MAN up, WOULD you BIRDIE?!"

COMBATSYS: Birdie fails to interrupt Large Thrown Object from Adon with Bull Revenger.

[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Birdie           0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0             Adon

Even as Adon hurls a terrible Canadian right towards Birdie, Birdie does his best to not look foolish, not not stand his ground, and rule one, throw himself heartily into any situation that could possible wreck him head first.

The Canadian is thrust right at him, and Birdie, Birdie guns it. Running right towards the man even as Adon hurls it towards the Birdie, Birdie chugs across the ground even as the Canadian comes... He goes directly towards Adon and then!

Then Birdie actually catches the man with his head, giving him a terrible head butt as he's sent falling backwards, unable to fight anylonger. Or at least, unable to fight without catching his breath and shaking the knots out of his head.

"What the hell. Go on a bloody diet to fat bloated canadian." Birdie snorts, pulling himself up from the ground.

Ah yes. The secret weapon of the world. Canadians. As any brit with a sense of history would tell you, the Canadians are secretly the British version of the Americans. Wild Frontiersmen. When they are not downing great ale brews of fermented beaver pelts and snow, they are single-handedly saving the entire army by throwing snowballs.

But Thailand has Muay Thai.

"OH BEAVER CHRIST!" The mountie squeal as he smashes into Birdie's head. While Birdie may have been sent back, it was a much better condition than what the mountie was in. Why, he was so shaken up and knocked asunder, the mountie felt like supporting Stephen Harper for another go around! As the mountie staggered away from the melee, he is stopped suddenly. It seems that the Emperor of Muay Thai was charging towards the stunned Birdie, and decided that the mountie was a good weapon. "THANK YOU, CANADIAN! You have PLEASED the EMPEROR of MUAY THAI with your TALENTS."

The mountie loses his hat when Adon swings him around, attempting to smash him into Birdie again. If Adon was successful, he would use the brief stun to trip both of them up, turning them into a giant Canadian British Charlie Foxtrot. And with that, he would start playing the mess-up game with both.

COMBATSYS: Birdie fails to interrupt Improvised Grapple from Adon with Murderer Chain.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Birdie           0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0             Adon

Mighty Birdie struck out... again! Even as the Canadian is used as a weapon over and over again, it just means that Birdie can't get any closer than he already is. Birdie is struck pitches and bashed, even as the mountie is swing around, sending Birdie stumbling backwards before getting thrusted even further backwards.

Birdie doesn't seem to really have a chance anymore, but like that's stopped him any time at all.

Birdie huffs, getting back up as he looks towards Adon. "Put down the fucking mounting and fight, you bloody git!" Birdie snorts, "Can't get a damn handle on you if you're using another fucking guy!" Birdie cries, once more putting himself out into the fray. Why?

Birdie just loves puinishment.

The poor mountie is just knocked out cold by the time Adon and Birdie are through with him. He just gotten handled like a man. At least an AMERICAN would be able to endure it. Heaven knows that there is no such thing as a strong Canadian. All Canadians are WEAK BETA MALES. Except the women, which are just waiting for the hoards of Alaskans to run across the tundra, with their Barbarian Queen leading them.

By now, Beaver World was ruined forever. With Adon and Birdie wrecking everything, it just wasn't fun. People came to Canada to get away from the real world! But now, the Emperor of Muay Thai was dancing around, and then in place. Leering at Birdie, he just twists his nose up, and places his hands on his waist. "Come on! What's the MATTER? Is the CHAMPION UPSET that the FIGHT isn't GOING YOUR WAY?" With that, Adon just tilts his head back in an high-pitched bout of cackling. "KYAAAA HEE HEEE!"

As Birdie just begins to stabilize himself, Adon takes this moment to exploit another moment of weakness. He springs through the air, bringing his arms wide. Yes, Birdie was a mass of meat. But Adon was a jaguar. He was a beast. He was going to take down his massive prey. Closing in on the big Brit, he attempted to tackle the bigger man to the ground. If successful, he would make sure that he landed, he would smash that elbow right into the former champion's throat, trying to mangle and shatter the man's windpipe. Why?

Because that would cripple him enough to win the fight.

COMBATSYS: Birdie Toughs Out Adon's Jaguar Stab!

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Birdie           1/-------/=======|=======\=------\1             Adon

Exploit weakness of BIRDIE?! How /dare/ you. How dare you! Being taken advantage is something that Birdie does not like to happen to him. And that in itself is something which drives Birdie even harder on the brink of this loss.

Even with Beaver World done Birdie wasn't happy with that. He needed to be sated. And he wasn't sated yet. Adon continues to egg Birdie on, is the Champion Upset and all that nonsense. Birdie, the train he is, is taunted.

Uh oh Adon you taunted the bull NOW GET THE HORNS. Thats what Adon gets too, even as Adon pushed forward, attempting to end this by finishing off Birdie once and for all, Birdie fights back, snorting as the blow comes down upon him. Adon tackles but Birdie fights, the elbow crashing in. It strikes, and Birdie even releases a powerful breath.

Then, right after, he comes towards Adon with a cry, his body wilting all over.

"Bloody hell bloke, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you!" Birdie sneers, as he does one head butt. That head butt is followed by another and another of terrible headbutts aided by his terribly terrible HAIR. HAIR of HADES. PECK PECK PECK PECK PECK THE JAGUAR.

COMBATSYS: Adon endures Birdie's The Birdie!

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  /////////////                 ]
Birdie           0/-------/-------|=======\====---\1             Adon

As Adon brings his elbow upon the throat of Birdie, he thinks it is over. No one could endure such a powerful, crippling blow. The snort of air seems to confirm it. Adon pulls back, wiping his palms off. "That was EASY." He snickers, sneering at the downed Birdie. But then, the brute of a man gets up again.

And charges at him headfirst.

Adon doesn't have time to block. He doesn't even have time to change his face. He just stands there, his body turning into steel. And he just takes every strike of the air standing up. The lashes tear deep cuts across his body, each blow knocking the Emperor back a step. His face doesn't change until the last blow comes out. And upon that, Adon just holds there like a statue. His face still in a sneer. And then, a short, high-pitch squeal of giggling erupted as he tried to smash Birdie's hair aside.

"Hee! Okay."


Adon suddenly exploded out in a furious explosion of punches, knee butts, hooks, kicks, and elbow jabs. He was just unloading every conceivable technique on the man, as if he was holding back all his true power for the fight. Even his entire body was burning with a furious, orange energy, his inner chi boiling over with every strike. Finally, he just shifts into a direct, impossibly fast chain of rapid-fire straight punches, attempting to slowly pressure it into Birdie in order to knock him down, down, down... to the ground.

Right into Beavis Beaver.

COMBATSYS: Adon successfully hits Birdie with Jaguar Thousand.

[                                < >  ////////////                  ]
Birdie           0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0             Adon

Adon charges at Birdie. And Birdie is charged.

Thrust into the ground by Adon, Birdie's exploded backwards right into the air through butts hooks kicks and other such, lifted up into the air within moments, and kept there as the blows rain down upon him. Seconds pass and it still continues. Birdie isn't going to win this one, even if we threw himself willingly into this.

Strike after strike finally finish off Birdie's tenacious attitude to keep it going, finally the british bruiser is silenced.

Then again...

Birdie slowly gets up, focussing his vision haphazardly upon Adon some more. Even if its a long shot, Birdie, being Birdie, is gonna take it. Moving forward towards Adon with his heavy metal chain, Birdie vaults towards Adon's figure, attempting to grasp him in a paralyzing grasp with his chain and choke the life right out of him. He trips however, multiple times almost as if he was drunk.

Miss or not, Birdie falls towards the ground with a thump, choking either Adon or air. Either is good for him.

He's pooped!

COMBATSYS: Birdie can no longer fight.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Adon             0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Adon endures Birdie's Bad Scrap.

[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Adon             0/-------/-----==|

Adon lets the last of the blows knock Birdie for a spin. One champion down. Adon lets it ring in his head.

One champion down.

One champion down.

One champion down.

He doesn't even seem to notice when Birdie wraps his hands around his neck. But as Birdie begins to slip down, Adon just tenses his whole body up, and grabs Birdie by his body. Struggling with the mass of the body, Adon knew he was tired as well, But he just held him there, sneering right into the man. "Heh. Good fight. Next time though, I need to ask you one thing." Adon leans in, letting the hands slowing bruise his entire neck. Still smiling, he whispers to Bridie before releasing him, letting him fall to the floor.

"Learn not to make a complete FOOL of yourself when you FIGHT the EMPEROR of MUAY THAI."

With that, Adon walks away, turning his back to all the chaos he caused. The medical team moves in to revive the British Thug. But Adon just keeps walking. He had another victory, and a meaningful one.

One champion down.

COMBATSYS: Adon has ended the fight here.

Log created on 17:47:24 02/06/2009 by Birdie, and last modified on 14:38:01 02/12/2009.