Neo League 751 - #772: Mai vs Skullomania

Description: Neo League madness as Skullomania and Mai tackle each other in the unlikeliest of unlikely unlocations! ( Winner: Mai )

Skullomania walks into the dimly lit, and opium smoke hazed confines of the brothel. He's carrying several bags of groceries and following a cute little Chinese girl, we can probably safely assume she's a prostitute, but tonight, it is late and we can be above such crass classifications and namecallings.

Skullo blinks as he looks around, "Why is it so dark in here? And why are the lights Red? I mean, I said I'd be happy to take your groceries all the way home ma'am, I mean I'm just moonlighting at the Co-Op as a bagboy and load escort so I can pay the bills, and you didn't need to offer to 'pay me extra' for the walk home, I was happy to do it. But..." He peers about, there's grubby chinamen in the waiting room, there's strange noises coming from behind all closed doors. "This place is really weird."

The chinese girl shrugs and winks demurely at Skullomania, presenting him with a note before taking the bags from him and disappearing through a door which while open reveals several people chained to beds and no fridge in sight.

. o O ( Strange considering all the refrigerated desert toppings she had bought ) Skullo thinks to himself, and then reads the note. It tells him he is scheduled to fight Mai Shiranui here today, right now, for the Neo League. "Oh jumpin' jeezums!" He cries in surprise. "This is an unexpected surprise." His overall demeanor brightens though, "At least this means I'm getting a paycheque and not a disease!"

Mai was actually standing right in front of the door waiting for Skullomania -- but unfortunately, because she dresses like a whore, she blended right into the scenery (that is, all the whores). "Who knows, Skullomania, the night is still young!" the young ninja proclaims as she runs and leaps, flipping over the skeleton fighter and spinning around to face him. One of her tails is in her hand, and she twirls it smugly.

"I paid that girl to lure you back here, my friend," Mai says, "because the last time I told my opponent that we urgently had to do something physically grueling that I would make a lot of money from in a red-light district, well -- I've gotten cleverer than that since then!" She flicks a fan open and wafts some of the smoke-thick air toward herself, before breaking into a coughing fit.

Skullomania thinks about this for a moment. His learing skeleton face and his smarmy chuckling belies the seriousness of his pose, as he contemplates MAi's words. "Well you are a wise woman. I think even I like you more than last I saw you. And furthermore I have learned, because now, I am more powerful than I was 15 seconds ago!"

He laughs and laughs his chest heaving up and down from real meat lungs hidden behind the caricature of empty bones. His scarf unfurls, and flaps in the door where it is caught, then released as someone leaves the brothel opening it again. He then puts a leg foreward and crouches slightly, fists at the ready, orangey chi power glowing around his fists.

He tilts his head to the side, angling his brow ridges in a distinctly Bruce Lee like challenge above his genuine but also fake and printed on his costume: irreverant smirk.

Then he snaps his fingers, "We need some appropriate fightan music!" He declares, and in the back someone can be heard placing Marvin Gaye on the turntable. "Let's get it On" begins to play. Skullomania nods to Mai and beckons for her to bring it, completely serious.

COMBATSYS: Skullomania has started a fight here.

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Skullomania      0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Skullomania gathers his will.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Skullomania      0/-------/---====|

COMBATSYS: Mai has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Skullomania      0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0              Mai

Mai assumes her fighting stance as the smooth, deep soul of Marvin Gaye filters into the room. The prostitutes and johns all clear a circle in the middle of the room, watching the two size each other up. Mai's stance is tense, her body swaying, as if charging up a store of momentum with which to hurtle herself -- and hurtle herself she does!

Mai leaps into the air, spinning and, as she begins to descend, swinging a stiffened leg toward Skullomania! It's not a very powerful kick -- more to feel out her opponent -- but Mai's got strong legs and a flippant, bubbly attitude, two things that unite to form a ninja like no other. "Hyaah!"

COMBATSYS: Skullomania blocks Mai's Light Kick.

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Skullomania      0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania giggles, the leg shoots straight for his face. But he tilts his body out of the way, the foot catches his collar bone, there is a quiet, muffled crack, and Skullomania twists under the pressure. He does reach up with his greedy hands though, and wrap them around his opponent's ankle. "It was very nice of you to bring me here, a pleasant surprise even, I needed the work."

Skullomania also grooves to the deep groovey soul music, totally into it, totally feelin' it. He leaps into the air, tugging on Mai's ankle to suck him up into his reverse gravity well with him. "But, the choice of venue is a little strange." He spins, he swoops, he throws Mai towards the ground and tries to land on top, he just can't resist the urge to take advantage, a decidedly anti-heroic habit.

"This song probably won't even be finished by the time we are. But Sexual Healing is on side B. If *You* need it." He winks.

COMBATSYS: Skullomania successfully hits Mai with Skullo Space.
- CRAZY Hit! -

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Skullomania      0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0              Mai

When Mai's ankle is caught, she tries to swoop a kick toward the skeleton, but it goes wide and she just ends up spinning in his grasp, before being slammed to earth and landed upon. "Augh!" she cries as Skullomania lands on her. "I didn't choose the venue! I thought /you/ did!" She wriggles, trying to roll free. "That had better be a femur I feel against me, too, buddy!"

Mai doesn't even think to consider how a cloth skull mask is capable of winking -- there's a fight to be had. With a "ha-AH!" she breaks free, taking a few backward gallops to reassess her tactics against the kooky mascot. Her eyes scan the surroundings -- until she spies something she can use.

Leaping sideways, Mai yanks a long opium pipe out of its users mouth, who would get angry but is too stoned and feeble at the moment. Taking the pipe, she hurls it like a javelin!

COMBATSYS: Skullomania slows Thrown Object from Mai with Thrown Object.

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Skullomania      0/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania giggles and backflips throughout the cleared area in the larg-ish but customer and working girl and also camera crew-lined area of the brothel! He leaps back onto a couch, landing on his chest and doing a WORM that'd make Grandmaster Flash proud, backing away down the couch picking up a cushion.

He examines the big cushion quizzically for a moment, as the hurled javelin continues his way. He finally shrugs and leaps up, throwing it in response to knock the pipe out of the air. "Oh ho! All that opium! Is bad for you Mai! You look tired even, you sure you don't need a nap??"

"I held my breath!" Mai protests, "And I'll take a nap when the fight is over, /thank/ you!" She makes a brief grumpy face at her hurled pipe being knocked from the air, but doesn't waste any more time than that, charging forward again. As she does, she draws her fans and swoops her tails into her hands -- and her charge becomes a spin, a hurtling mass of shining steel fans and gratuitous ass flashes heading toward Skullomania in a ninja whirlwind!

COMBATSYS: Skullomania endures Mai's Hakuro no Mai.

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Skullomania      1/----===/=======|==-----\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania nods approvingly as Mai explains herself. "No wonder you fight so strongly then! " He asserts with the comfortable reassurance of an actor on an ABC after-school special. She comes swooping in with those fans, and Skullomania allows them to cut dramatic lines on his suit, it is tight so it peels back, revealing pasty yellow skin and tin lines of red where blood is almost drawn. "Drugs will lead you no where. You are a strong and wise woman!"

He begins taking steps backwards, seemingly relenting under Mai's vicious assault, then he trips over a couch and flips over it. "Surprise! Ratchtatchatchatcha!" He yells out as he drops into a crouch on the other side. Of the couch.

Igniting with orange red chi, Skullomania seems to move in triplicate, he begins to slide on the ground, white hot bursts of force exploding from all around him, percieved doubles moving in asynchronous patterns! They blast through the couch, and it transforms into a shower of white confetti, that glitter pinkly in the red lights. Then the hero is carried through bringing his fatal feets to Mai's ankles.

COMBATSYS: Mai fails to interrupt Super Skullo Slider from Skullomania with Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi.
? Strange Hit! ?

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Skullomania      0/-------/-----==|=====--\-------\0              Mai

"What th--" As Skullomania pulls his insane tricks, Mai leaps backward, trying to keep clear -- unfortunately, the voice that says 'No, beat the crap out of them instead of playing it smart' flares up in her mind, and she listens. She leaps forward again, busting a sick handspring, and soaring forward to try and connect on the sliding Skullomania with an elbow drop!

Unfortunately, though, his orange chi is too long -- and /nothing/ can keep out... Skeleton Chi. Mai is bounced into the air by the focused energy, hurtling as if she'd landed on a trampoline designed to hurt its user, and crashing over the front desk of the brothel. She shoots back up after a moment, fixing her ponytail. "Nice chi," she says. "Is it the skull? It's gotta be the skull."

Skullomania giggles, and holds his palms out bashfully, "Well if I believe the things video games tell me! Which I certainly do!" He pauses and looks at a camera as the guy holding it tracks past. "And you should too kids! Video Games are the only unbiased media!" He waves and then snaps his attention back to Mai! "Then it is the SOUL OF THE FIGHTER that resides within my loins. I mean my bosom. I mean. Man, this is a weird place for a fight. "

He laughs like the maniac masked man he is, doing more flips and even some breakdancing moves on the floor, trailing his scarf like he was a 16 year old girl in the Olympic Ribbon competition before he rolls towards Mai and springs up! The frame freezes, his fist just inches away from Mai's navel. Despite the timestop he speaks: "But you know. I think I could get used to it." He humms a long to the music and taps his fingers on the hand that isn't a fist rhythmically along his thigh, and then with a dramatic machine gun sound and a flash of orange light, time resumes and he smashes that fist towards Mai's belly.

COMBATSYS: Mai dodges Skullomania's Skullo Crusher EX.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Skullomania      0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0              Mai

As Skullomania flips and breakdances, Mai leaps onto and then over the front counter, keeping her eyes fixed on the dancing madman the entire time. She keeps her focus right up to when time suddenly seems to stop for a second -- and when time starts again, Mai's flip over Skullomania is almost instantaneous, the trained ninja pushing her dodge skillz to the max. "Sorry, Skullomania, I know you got me a sweet deal on that Vespa, but I've got to win this tournament -- otherwise, how else will I be able to afford Elton John playing at my wedding? I think he's Andy's favorite singer. Well, he's a white guy, anyway, and Andy's mostly into music like that, you know, white guy music."

Mai loses her train of thought visibly. "Oh, uh, wait, where was I?" Suddenly, she snaps back into her fighting pose. "Oh, right! Sorry!" Mai Shiranui: possibly the first person to yell 'Sorry!' while attempting to roundhouse someone in the skull.

COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Skullomania with Strong Kick.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Skullomania      1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania laughs, "You are here! With me! And all the wonderful people at H-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOF!" He mugs for the camera, and catches a kick in the chest. The force of the blow sends him into the ring of spectators, scattering them.

Laying on the floor for several moments, almost a minute in fact, Skullomania finally bounces back to his feet as the record draws to a raspy quiet. It is immediately replaced by Electric Six's Dance-A-Thon 2005. Skullomania does a few sexy dance moves. "Huh Huh? I bet you don't have any moves like these!" He declares, then drops onto his head and begins to spin, a showoff spin kick that comes nowhere near Mai and was never intended to, before he spins onto his heels and just grooves. "Wanna dance?"

COMBATSYS: Skullomania gains composure.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Skullomania      0/-------/=======|======-\-------\0              Mai

"You wanna dance?" Mai says, throwing a steel fan over at the stereo, which immediately begins to blare "Any Way You Want It" by Journey, "SO LET'S DANCE!" She bobs her body around more forcefully to the rock backbeat as she swoops toward Skullomania, swinging up with a fan clutched in her fist, trying to clock Skullomania with it!

COMBATSYS: Skullomania blocks Mai's Fierce Strike.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
Skullomania      0/-------/-----==|=======\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania opens his eyes very wide, he giggles at the song, but his moneymaker just keeps on shaking, like instinct. He throws one of his forearms across Mai's deflecting the fan-blow across his allready marked chest. "That's the way you'll get it. Babe!"

Then more raucaus laughter the wheezing skeleton man cartwheels away from Mai, kicking his legs up over his head, then jumps foreward, dropping low and kicking straight up to try and catch the girl's chin. "Booyaaaah!"

COMBATSYS: Skullomania successfully hits Mai with Dangerous Heel.
? Strange Hit! ?

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Skullomania      0/-------/---====|=======\=------\1              Mai

Mai tries to duck under the flipping heel, but instead it just gets her square in the spine. She tumbles forward, crashing through a glass table covered with various forms of residue. "Eew! All the glass is /sticking to meee/!" Mai cries in agony -- not the painful kind, more the terminally grossed-out kind. "Okay, that's it, bucko, the gloves are officially off!" Mai does not wear gloves.

Mai produces no less than three fans in one hand -- and hurls all three at once, nearly toppling forward like an MLB player putting their all into a fastball. The fans snap open as they soar, a flurry of steel heading for Skullomania!

COMBATSYS: Mai successfully hits Skullomania with Mizudori no Mai.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Skullomania      1/-----==/=======|=------\-------\0              Mai

Skullomania is blinks again his black eye sockets turning white. "That's just the... Actually I don't know what that is." He titters and shrugs helplessly, which results in a hail of fans smacking him the hell up! His costume is torn to shreds, but chic explosions begin to go off all around him one of which changes the song to Queen's Another One Bites the Dust.

"Hahahaha! Nice try!" He says in reference to Mai changing the song, which is bullshit anyway since he did that. He runs at Mai, leaving a trail of shadow Skullo's in his wake, leaping at her with ALL HIS CRUSHING MIGHT! "BUT I GOTS TO PUT THE HAMMER DOWN!" He smashes into her with both arms, as hard as he can. And then feels the blackness of the knock out trying to overwhelm him, "Oh shit." He says quietly and then passes out.

COMBATSYS: Skullomania can no longer fight.

[            \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Mai              0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Skullomania successfully hits Mai with Super Skullo Crusher.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Mai              0/-------/---====|

The SKULLO CRUSHER smashes into Mai, knocking her backward -- her body bends into a 'U' as she launches like a bullet, smashing through a wall and landing in a very unthemely kind of steam room. "Oh-- oh dear!" Mai says, turning deep red when the canaries stop flying around her head. "Sorry! No! I didn't see anything! Really! Oh my god! Sorry!" Mai hot-foots it the hell out of there.

She walks back toward Skullomania's prone form, hefting the skeleton -- whose scarf is still fluttering -- and putting him on her shoulders. "Sorry, I'm taking him with me. I mean, normally I'd leave it up to you guys to give him a bed, but... you're all opium smokers and whores, so please understand that I don't trust a single one of you. Thank you for hosting us, though!" Mai bows with Skullomania still on her shoulders, and turns to walk out.

She was the only person in that main area whose thong was so consistently exposed.

COMBATSYS: Mai has ended the fight here.

Log created on 04:01:12 09/25/2008 by Mai, and last modified on 12:20:15 09/25/2008.