SNF 2020.11 - Thankful For: SLAM!

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Description: In the wake of a difficult reelection campaign, Haggar hosts the mother of all rallies in downtown Metro City. And what better way to celebrate his re-election than a full-forced slamfest right in the heart of the great American metropolis? Ripping off his suit in favour of his classic wrestling garb, America's Mayor is not only ready to unleash a stunning tour de force of awe-inspiring slams against Hollywood regular Johnny Cage (who is getting paid for this appearance), but also his victory speech to his supporters. But when MURDERHOUSE ascends from the depths with his third-party brooding, the after party is thrown into total CHAOS*!

For the last few weeks, American news stations have struggled to keep up with the sheer breadth of stories flooding in. Continuing troubles in the East as Japan struggles to put an end to their lingering monster problem, increased criminal activity linked to global power shifts in organized crime, and 24 hour coverage of elections both local and nation-wide. But of all these issues, none stand higher in the eyes of Metro City residents than the results of the 2020 Mayoral election.
"As promised, after tireless weeks of effort from myself and my staff, and a generous donation from our long-time supporters at the Muscle Mart grocery chain, we are all proud to announce that the Better Protein Initiative will be ready by Thanks Giving. Protein Banks will begin opening at Muscle Marts across the city starting Tuesday the 24th, and will remain open through the 30th of November. So if you've been having a rough year, or were worried your family might have to go without this Thanks Giving, there's no need to. Stop on in and pick yourself up a Turkey courtesy of Muscle Mart, because no citizen of my city should be bereft of good, healthy protein."
The rough, confident voice of Mayor Mike Haggar rings throughout the heart of Metro City, his stern, mustachioed face staring down from the massive jumbo TVs spaced around the buildings that ring Metro Square. Neon signs flash and pulse, casting techno-colored lights down upon the cheering crowds with their signs and banners. The park has been barricaded off for the event, no traffic allowed to pass through the rally held in honor of Haggar's recent reelection.
"Now. Just as I believe no family should have to go without, I also believe no friend should be left in need. As all of you know, I intend to continue offering support and aid to our sister city in Japan, Southtown."
The Mayor himself is standing before a podium on a huge stage set up in the center of the park, his hands folded atop the wooden surface as he speaks without need of notes. Beside his hulking frame the stand seems absurdly tiny, a politician play set sized for children.
Behind the mayor, a rich red curtain hangs from a large cuboid frame, the heavy fabric hanging still in the lack of a breeze. As a back drop it lends a classy touch to the proceedings, though a few of Haggar's more diehard fans have been eyeing it with a lot more interest over the past hour of talking.
"Some of you disagree with my stance on Southtown. Yeah, I know. I read the paper just as much as the next guy, and my daughter Jessica keeps me informed on what you kids are doing on the internets. I've seen a lot of people saying that choosing to help Southtown makes me weak. That because that monster Jedah set up his embassy there, we should leave them to their fate. But to those of you who say that? I say Shame On You. There are people in need, and I intend to help them. And if you think that makes me weak, well..."
Having leant forward over the microphone and gripped the edge of the podium in his flexing mitts, the glowering mayor lifts his intense gaze to stare directly into the camera. Brown eyes smoldering with righteous fury, he straightens up from his hunch, releases the creaking edges of the stand, and flexes his jaw.
"Think again, buster! Because even if I have to fly over there and handle that mess myself, we're going to show the world that we can rise above our fear and anger. That isn't weakness, its strength. And more than that, it's the right thing to do. But for all you doubters out there claiming I've gone soft, I have a gift for you!"
Reaching up with both ham-sized hands, Haggar hooks fingers through shirt collar, tie, and undershirt. Then, in one explosive motion he tears his upper torso free, buttons and bits of cloth flying in all directions. So ferocious is the suit rip that, as his muscular arms fall to his sides, all that remains is a single suspender strap looped over one shoulder, his lower half still clad in a brown belt, dark green suit pants, and brown shoes.
"With all the important stuff out of the way, I'm going to remind you why I'm called the Mayor of Slamtown. And here to help me with that, is the noted actor and skilled martial artist, Mr. Johnny Cage!"
At those words, four sets of curtains are simultaneously drawn back on the large cube frame behind Haggar, sweeping dramatically aside to reveal a full-sized wrestling ring with an unbranded white canvas, dark blue and yellow skirt, and red ropes stretched between black metal uprights with yellow pads. The heavy metal frame still stretches up and around it, consisting of 4 thick 18 foot uprights connected at their tops by 2 rows of smaller horizontal bars. But as there are no chain links stretching between them, it probably won't be much of an issue.

It might as well be a movie set or something because here comes a dope ass helicopter from the horizon. Hanging from the rope ladder beneath that chopper is, of course, none other than the illustrious interloper himself: JOHNNY CAGE.

Johnny Cage has one arm hooked through the ladder and is rocking a pair of sunglasses that looks more like it belongs on a Macho Man than it does a martial artist of his style and caliber. But either way, the leather jacket clad superstar raises his arm out as the chopper lowers to over over the ring. Of course, leaving enough room for Johnny Cage to leap off and land in the center of said ring. Cue the previously paid for pyrotechnics and the Bay shot as Johnny Cage rises from his superhero landing into a full stance of perfection. Somehow, there's a microphone in his hand. The props department must really be on point. He holds a hand up to what he's pretty sure are the best cheers ever and raises the microphone to his lips.

"DID YOU MISS ME?!" Johnny Cage flashes a big ol' grin. "I know I did!" Oh boy. This is going to be one of those fights...

Lifting one thick arm to indicate the ring behind him, Haggar wheels about to watch alongside the wildly cheering crowd as Cage is airdropped in with his trademark Hollywood Pizzazz. The thick red curtains gathered around the corners of the outer framework flap and flutter, but are unable to escape from the ties that secure them to the base of each pole. That, and the booming pyrotechnics are tribute to just how professional the staff running this event must be. Everything in its place, slick and smooth like magic.
In truth, it was Haggar's own aids that decided to work the match. Old habits die hard.
Mustache fluttering in the wind, Haggar strides toward the edge of the ring and steps one foot up, pausing there with his forearm braced across his knee as the chopper fades away and Johnny seizes his moment, giving the people a quip and a smile. All around the stage, the gathered fans redouble their volume. Some continue waving political banners of one kind or another, while a loud minority have either flipped their signs around or ditched them for new ones entirely, showing big Hs or slogans like Welcome To SLAMtown USA.
Stepping fully up onto the edge of the ring, Haggar swings his leg over the top rope and strolls into the squared circle like he owns it, arms loose at his sides and shoulders relaxed. Even still, it is hard for the mayor not to loom over Cage as he strides forward to meet him in the center, rugged face splitting into a big, white-toothed grin.
"Glad to have you here, Johnny."
The warm words cut roughly through the crowd noise, just able to be picked up by the mic as he offers his oversized paw to the actor for a pre-match shake.
"Wrestle your heart out kid, I'm not going to go easy on you even if you're doing me a favor."
Opening exchange done, Haggar lumbers back four long strides, sinking into a ready crouch in his corner of the ring. Arms wide, feet planted, the hulking old man seems to engulf the space around him, dwarfing the space with a combination of raw mass and larger-than-life personality. The ring vibrates slightly as he sways his shoulders from side to side, shifting his weight and preparing for the bell.
Bing BING!
The opening notes are still hanging in the air as Haggar launches himself out of his corner like a beefy missile of pain. Big shoes pounding the mat, he charges forward without breaks, attempting to hurl himself shoulder-first into the smaller man and carry him backward into his corner, crushing his spine painfully into the padded metal post. Then, if he can trap him there, Haggar will loop one massive arm through Cage's own and surge violently into reverse, yanking him out of the corner and clean off his feet as he spins once, twice, whipping the actor around with ever-increasing momentum. Only after a third spin, with Haggar once more in the center of the ring, will he release the smaller man to send him flying away toward the corner that the Mayor originally came bursting out of.

COMBATSYS: Haggar has started a fight here.

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Haggar           0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has joined the fight here.

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Haggar           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0      Johnny Cage

COMBATSYS: Haggar successfully hits Johnny Cage with Wild Swing.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Haggar           0/-------/-----==|====---\-------\0      Johnny Cage

Leave it to Johnny Cage to make sure that this entire match is about himself. Which is why he takes the time to grin for all the pre-match niceness with Haggar for all those that may be taking pictures or what not. There's quite a bit of posing for shots as well because what is Johnny Cage if he's not making sure that every camera out here is catching his good side?

Not that he even has a bad side.

"Charity's charity." Johnny quips in Haggar's direction. "Say, do you know if Jessica's still hanging around with that jailbird? Because, if not..." Johnny even takes a moment to pull one of his business cards out of his jacket and flings it off in Haggar's direction. "If she wants to upgrade." Oh boy.

Johnny backs off to his own corner and it doesn't really register what's been said until after the bell rings. "Wait, what?" Johnny's attention wheels away from the crowd and kind of in the direction of Haggar in the next moment, "/Wrestle/?!" But it's too late for those arms of his to do much of anything to block the arrival of the Haggar en Masse. His body gets rocked against the corner from Haggar's shoulder of doom. Whatever sound comes out of Cage is likely not added in post because then he's snatched up and taken for a trifecta of spinning before being sent sailing toward the opposing corner. Cage crashes with another horrible sound before he comes stumbling out of the corner, looking already worse for the wear.

"Um. Okay. So this isn't as fake as I heard. Noted." Johnny's wobbly but he's trying to get his bearings enough to gather up his green chi into a force ball which he hurls across the ring in Haggar's direction. "Good thing I brought my own special effects!"

Everyone was cheering the show in front of them, yeah maybe Metro City needed a show like this after what it's been through, they need to see their hero acting larger than life opposite a genuine celebrity. The kind of megastar that Dan Hibiki tried to see in the mirror, Johnny Cage was in real life. But not everyone was impressed, it seemed.

Out from the sea of people, a giant emerged shoving his way to the forefront, and hopping the thin railing barricade separating the onlookers from the Fighters. Seven feet of muscle, black hair falling around that thick dull hockey mask even as evil eyes regarded the two in the ring. 'MURDERHOUSE' Mick made his appearance, but he wasn't sliding into the ring just yet, wasn't even talking. Instead the masked menace in track suit, wifebeater and unzipped hoodie just stalked around the arena. At one point he kicked one of the steel ringsteps, breaking it apart from the arena so that it could be more easily weaponized later. And when he gets close to a fan, he palms their head and throws them aside, so that he can grab the steel folding chair they were sitting in. Not using it just yet, but holding it as an insurance policy just in case. The whole time, he was glaring intently on the mayor and the actor.




COMBATSYS: MURDERHOUSE has joined the fight here.

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MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0           Haggar
[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/---====|

COMBATSYS: MURDERHOUSE Mick thinks this is beneath him. Prove him wrong.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0           Haggar
[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/---====|

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage successfully hits Haggar with Out Take.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////////     ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-------|====---\-------\0           Haggar
[       \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/--=====|

Standing tall in the center of the ring, Haggar stares toward Johnny with a slightly furrowed brow, any trace of a smile long since melted away from his craggy features. Feet planted shoulder-width apart, the Mayor of both SLAMtown and Metro City takes a moment to absorb the last few things that the actor has spouted off.
"Son, wrestling is about as fake as the martial arts you do in your movies, and it'll be a cold day in hell before you date my--"
An incoming ball of glowing green energy cuts him off mid grumble, one broad palm lifting to swat at it as it arcs by and slams into the bare expanse of his chest. Rocked back onto his heels by the solid impact, Haggar grunts, brilliant green chi splashing across his tan skin and boiling away to nothing. All that is left in its wake is a quickly forming bruise and a very annoyed Mayor with a darkening scowl on his face.
Thundering forward two quick steps, Haggar lunges the last bit of distance between himself and Johnny and reaches out to try and grab the smaller man by both arms. If he can secure that grip he will drag him in close and loop both arms around his back, sweeping him up off his feet and crushing him against the flexed wall of his rock-hard abs. Then, just as quickly as he is grabbed, the actor will find himself accelerating forward as the big man falls backward toward the mat, sweeping the actor up and over his head on a violent trip toward the same.
Hit or miss, the big man will roll to the side and come up on one knee, the looking back over his shoulder as the tone of the crowd begins to change. Where once there had been only cheers there are now added boos, calls, and angry shouts. Sweeping his glowering gaze around the ring he seeks out the source of the shift in mood, Cage temporarily forgotten.

COMBATSYS: Haggar successfully hits Johnny Cage with Medium Throw.
- Power hit! -

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MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-------|=====--\-------\0           Haggar
[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/-----==/=======|

Johnny Cage barely has time to see who's stealing his thunder before the likes of Haggar comes forth and obliterates him in such a way that by the time Johnny Cage actually realizes the way in which he has been taken down, he doesn't even know what hurts. Because his entire body does, that's for damn sure.

Johnny's first and immediate movement is to reach up and make sure his sunglasses are still intact. Whew.

It's also about this moment that Johnny Cage realizes he's upside down and half in one of the corners and half sprawled onto the mat. It takes him a moment to drag himself up to his feet, hands using the ropes to do so. He spots some blood dripping from his face because it lands on his jacket. When he tries to take a step, he realizes he better keep a hand on those ropes. "Okay. Not fake." Cage concedes.

Cage turns his attention to Haggar even though he's been forgotten and stumbles after him, looking as though he's fallen into drunken fighter mode. He trips over his own feet but somehow rolls into a split, aiming a vicious fist between Haggar's legs from behind! LOW BLOW?!

Mick was paying attention to the back and forth tussle, but he also knew that hesitating wouldn't work with the bloated Mayor of Meat up there now. As much as the 'funny' man in the glasses annoyed him, it was far more important to make an impact, and what better way than at Old Man Haggar's expense?

For a big man, he could move quick when he wanted to. Sliding under the bottom rope, the masked man sprung to his feet and swung that steel chair downward overhead, and aiming the 'seat' right for the politician's skull. If it connected, the impact would be heard throughout the entire city block, an impact that would really make the jackasses in the crowd wince and grimace.

"Heya, Mike. We've never met."

COMBATSYS: Haggar blocks Johnny Cage's Nut Punch.

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MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-------|=======\-------\0           Haggar
[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

COMBATSYS: Haggar counters Random Weapon from MURDERHOUSE with Hammer Thru.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////        ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-======|=======\==-----\1           Haggar
[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

Haggar has enough of a breather to give one half of the surrounding stage his attention while Cage picks himself up off the mat. However, he hasn't quite figured out just what is bothering him when he feels the vibration of stumbling steps charging him from behind.
Knee joints popping loudly, Haggar surges to his feet and begins to turn, Johnny's fist blitzing up to hammer him squarely in the thigh rather than the unprotected target he had been aiming for. Thick muscle flexing beneath his suit pants to absorb the worst of the blow, he pauses in place, head turning to frown down at Johnny with all the stern disappointment of a father to his son.
"Gentlemen don't hit below the belt."
The words are part admonishment, part warning, delivered just before MURDERHOUSE impacts the ring and every fan in the place roars their own personal warning for the Mayor to look out.
Whirling about right in the nick of time, Haggar manages to get his hands up and catch the garbage wrestler's wrists just before the chair can make contact. Strength to strength, muscle to muscle, the shorter but no less powerful old timer locks the chair in place, mustache bristling as he glares through the gap toward his masked assailant.
"Mr. Mayor to you."
With those words grunted up into the face of Murder, Haggar steps back and jerks the younger man's arms sharply down, one knee rising up to slam the chair free of his grip and right up into his chin. That done, he twists on the spot and whips the newcomer off of his feet, turning a tight 180 and flinging him over Cage's head toward the ropes on the far side of the ring.

"I've never been a gentleman."

Johnny Cage flips himself backwards, rolling across the mat to pull himself up to his feet. With a bit of a wobble. thanks to both Haggar and MURDERHOUSE being all up in the ring right now, the celebrity backpedals as well as he can towards the nearest corner.

"You know, thanks for the assist but I'm pretty sure I got this." Johnny tries to explain but only to save face within the view of the public that's come to watch this action packed brawl. And with that said and recorded for the cameras, Johnny Cage decides to jump back into the fray.

By reaching into his pocket to come out with his old school camera and raises it up to take a quick photo of Haggar. Or, well, actually to just make the flash go off. "The camera loves you, baby!"

COMBATSYS: Haggar endures Johnny Cage's Say Cheese.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-======|=======\===----\1           Haggar
[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/---====/=======|

Mick went flying, hitting the ring ropes and almost tangling up in them before falling head-first on to the outside. He hit in a slump, slowly sliding down while his eyes rolled around in his head like billiard balls. The big man twitched like a zombie, and after a few moments, rolled over and pushed himself up to his knees where he could watch the action in the ring in a daze. But already, he was snapping out of it, already he was glaring at the target in front of him. And as Johnny Cage recovered and relied on his own unconventional tactics, the patron saint of MURDER was grabbing another chair from the audience, this time launching it head-over-heels like a missile, letting it arc in the air even as it threatened to come down and bean the mayor right in that skull of his.

"Shut the fuck up, funnyman. You're next on the list if ye piss me off!"

COMBATSYS: Haggar dodges MURDERHOUSE's Angry Chair.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-======|=======\===----\1           Haggar
[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/---====/=======|

COMBATSYS: Haggar issues a challenge!!

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-======|=======\===----\1           Haggar
[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/---====/=======|

A brief moment is taken by the Mayor to stand and watch as MURDERHOUSE slips free of the ropes and drops out of sight, chest expanding with long, deep breaths as he reaches down to absentmindedly massage his left thigh. He doesn't have long to catch his breath, however, because even as the rival wrestler is gathering his wits outside the ring, Cage's voice slices through the crowd, spouting off about his lack of manners.
Releasing his breath in something half way between a grunt and a sigh, Haggar glances down and notices the actor's discarded business card lying beside his left shoe. Stooping down to pluck it up between two thick fingers, he straightens, turns it over to squint glowering brown eyes at the text, then turns to face the snarky man.
Eyes briefly dazzled by the sudden light, Haggar acts entirely on instinct. Throwing himself forward toward the last place he saw the sarcastic martial artist, he just misses being clocked in the head by MURDERHOUSE's thrown chair. Charging out from under the projectile, he leaves it behind to bounce and clatter across the ring and launches himself at Johnny, leading with a lightning quick left jab for the center of the smaller man's chest.
If that opening blow lands, he will rear back, right hand swinging back behind his head, and bring the massive mitt swiping down in a brutal bear paw strike to the side of Cage's head, attempting to send him staggering sideways into the ropes.
"Not a gentleman, eh? Well let me impart some wisdom that I've picked up over the years."
With the crowd roaring, cheering, booing and hissing, Haggar blinks the dazzle out of his eyes and glances over one shoulder toward the masked wrestler outside, then back to the smallest of the three fighters before him. Lifting his left hand, he uncurls his fingers, shows Johnny the crumpled mess of his card that got crushed in the scuffle, and flicks it side-handed toward his chest. Then, despite the fact he has no mic, his volume rises, mighty lungs working to project his voice out across the open air park in a colossal bellow.
Lunging forward and down, the Mayor of Muscle attempts to scoop his hands behind Cage's knees and hoist him up off the ground, body flung back to dangle over his right shoulder. If he can secure that hold he will keep him suspended there, knees apart and feet dangling, as he throws his head back to roar out the finishing line.
That said, Haggar attempts to jerk cage down off of his shoulder, core flexing as he brings the famous man crashing down groin-first across his knee. There is enough force behind the slam to set the entire stage to juttering, ropes vibrating as Haggar leans back, still holding Cage by the legs, and swings him up and around to hurl him shoulders-first toward the center of the ring.
"I've whipped tougher men than you two before breakfast!"

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage fails to counter Power Swing from Haggar with Sweep The Leg.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0           Haggar
[                      \\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

Johnny Cage is pretty much 98 percent style and 2 percent skill. Anybody that's a Johnny Cage fan knows that. Anyone that watches any of his movies or his fights understands that. Which is why he comes with all these props... especially the nostalgic ones. It all gets used when he's doing battle because that just makes the fight that much more fun.

Usually for everyone but Johnny Cage. It tends to be more painful for him. Since it usually results in him getting his ass handed to him in a myriad of different, violent ways.

This time is no different.

Johnny Cage eyes the chair as it bounces across the mat and the ring. "I didn't know we could bring weapons. I got so many guns at home...!" Johnny looks down at the crumpled business card bouncing off his chest. "Hey! Those weren't cheap, Mayor of Jerktown!" Johnny spots the lunging of Haggar and moves to try and sweep one of those legs...

Insert Text: BIG MISTAKE

Cage is scooped up with all the dramatically appropriate strength of Mayor Haggar! There's quite a bit of flailing and whoa-ing that happens as Haggar turns him into a ragdoll celebrity... and then makes sure that there will be no children sequels to the Johnny Cage Dynasty.

The results of which are Johnny Cage crumpled into the most fetal of soprano positions when his body is flung to the center of the ring.

"... I prefer brunch." Johnny Cage flattens against the mat as uselessly as his first audition monologue.

Johnny's style and his two percent skill didn't seem to be helping, so the masked man on the outside of the ring decided to see if his pure unfiltered rage would improve the situation. Sliding under the ring and rushing toward Haggar, the seven foot butcher angles his body to let Johnny fly over and past him before committing to a full onslaught assault. His intention was to bumrush the mayor with hard vicious forearms, big heavy short punches and numerous kicks and stomps to the stomach and chest, in an effort to push the big man against the corner of the ring, to push him against the turnbuckles. If this worked he'd just continue the the barrage even as his left hand held on to the top rope for balance, just so that he could put all of his muscle and all of his body weight into every single vicious attack.

Finally, if this all was working, if he was able to overwhelm the mayor, then he'd reach out with a hand(or reach down a boot if he was sitting) and crush the man's windpipe and try to literally strangle the life out of him. There was no referee here, there was no risk of disqualification, so he just kept going until he was stopped. All the while, he was glaring at Mr. Mustache with hatred gleaming in his freakish eyes.

"It'll count as assassination when I'm done with you. You son of a bitch!"

COMBATSYS: Haggar blocks MURDERHOUSE's Fierce Combo.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////             ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0           Haggar
[                      \\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

Breaths coming faster now, tanned skin flushed faintly red with the blood thundering through his veins, Haggar is too slow to stop MURDERHOUSE's opening blow, the big man's sudden arrival beneath his discarded opponent catching the Mayor off guard. As a result, he eats a big right hand square to the mouth and stumbles back into the corner of the ring, arms coming up to guard against the barrage of blows that follow.
Three heavy forearms are parried aside with meaty thumps, bone striking bone as he knocks the last one away before it can take him in the throat. Slipping slightly to one side, he catches a hooking punch against the bulging muscle of his tensed bicep, ducks beneath another hooking forearm, and flexes his abs into a wall of iron just in time to catch a rising boot to the gut.
"I don't know who you are," Haggar grunts warningly, "or what your problem is. But son..."
Surging forward through another punch that glances painfully across his already bruised pecks, the Mayor of SLAMtown reaches up to try and clamp his right hand harshly around the base of the taller man's neck. If he can get that grip he will pivot his heavy bulk out of the way, muscles flexing all along his body as he makes to hurl the Irish wrestler face-first into the padded turnbuckle. Only then will he turn his head to one side and spit, bloody saliva splattering the mat from cuts inside his lips.
"Keep this up and you're going to make me angry!"
As if to drive that point home, Haggar attempts to pull the angry man back and ram his head home once, twice more, the crowd roaring with each blow, before finally dragging him out and reaching down between his legs to get a solid grip of crotch and throat.
Unless MURDERHOUSE can stop him, the hulking Mayor will heave the giant off of his feet in another display of raw power, hoisting him up to chest level, then thrusting him overhead at full arm extension. He will hold him there for only a moment, turning away from the corner and tossing his head back to bellow toward the sky. Then he will drop to one knee and bring the big man crashing down to the mat in a thunderous body slam.
Fortunately for Mr. Cage and his potential singing career, the Mayor has his hands full at the moment.

COMBATSYS: MURDERHOUSE counters Rebound Throw from Haggar with Cemetary Gates.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0           Haggar
[                      \\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

Mick was starting to get tunnel vision, his sense of sadism starting to overpower his normal senses and training as a fighter. He's practically grinning under that hockey mask, and as Haggar reaches out and grabs at the back of his skull, MURDERHOUSE lets it happen. Because that leaves Mr. Mayor wide open for a pale, giant hand to grasp his throat tightly even as Mick glared unblinkingly into Haggar's eyes.


All his life, Mick had a power that he never realized he possessed. And here now it manifested itself, not in any obvious way. Nobody glowed with any color, nobody spontaneously caught on fire. No, instead Mike Haggar's mind was flooded with horror. Doubt, shame, the fear of a father when his daughter's missing. The fear of a man when his city is falling. Every nagging doubt that prevents a man from getting to sleep late at night. All just swirling around his mind like a tornado of negativity.

In the meantime, Mick still had the man around the throat, and was walking him away from the turnbuckle, toward the center of the ring. That tornado would be dissipated by MURDERHOUSE himself as he hoists the man up into the air, and slamming him down into the mat so hard that the ring shook violently. It would be up to Johnny whether or not he wanted to scramble out of the way, or whether he'd rather be squished. Hey, different strokes for different folks.

Top tier levels of pain are coursing through the body of Johnny Cage at the moment. It's actually somewhat difficult for him to pay attention to what's going on. However, there are some kind of natural fighter instincts that just work in his favor. There's a moment where he's rolled onto his back and manages to catch sight of the much larger bodies of Haggar and MURDERHOUSE doing their wrestling thing in that ring and he does the only thing a sane person in his situation would do.

Rolls The Eff Away.

Johnny Cage uses the ropes on the fall side of the ring to pull himself up to his feet and takes a moment to straighten up his glasses and make sure that he still looks as cool as he should. He's still wincing every other second but it looks like he's trying to get his bearings and maybe even compose himself.

"Hey, if you two wanna' handle this amongst yourselves, I can call my ride. Really, it's no trouble." Not that he's scared or anything. He's just trying to make like a tree and get outta' here.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage checks his pager.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/--=====|====---\-------\0           Haggar
[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/-----==/=======|

In the veteran mind of Haggar, the plan was simple. A few dazing bashes of MURDERHOUSE's head as setup, a dazing slam to finish, and then he could check on Johnny. Unfortunately for the old legend, his Irish Nemesis throws a wrench in that plan almost immediately, grabbing him by the throat and forcing him around so that they are eye to eye, dark brown staring into eery black pinpricks.
It shouldn't effect him as much as it does. The grip around his throat is strong, but not that strong. However, as he gazes into the eyes of MURDERHOUSE, Haggar's knees grow suddenly weak. Staggering forward, he is guided into the middle of the ring, shame, fear, and loss crashing through his mighty heart like a tidal wave. His daughter taken. His city under attack.
His dead wife.
Hefted off of his feet, the beefy old timer is slammed to the matt with more than the weight of his body. He hits it with the weight of every bad moment of his life, arms flopping out to his sides as he stares up toward the flashing lights of the square with sorrow-stricken eyes.
Eyes that blink once, then narrow.
Fear, loss, and pain. The wounds might be freshly opened, but the Mayor has dealt with them before. He knows how to overcome them.
Step one, find his loved ones. Is Jessica safe? Should be.
Step 2, bring down his unholy vengeance upon those who would threaten that security.
Two more rapid blinks later and Haggar's craggy features begin to shift. The look of shocked horror melts away. His heavy brow furrows and darkens. Blood thunders in his ears, face and chest flushing with color as his eyes ignite with rage.
The enraged Mayor's fists strike the mat like stone mallets, ring jumping as he hurls himself bodily to his feet. A single glance is cast in Cage's direction as he straightens up to tower over the surrounding ropes, every muscle in his impressive form flexed with visibly pulsing veins.
"Moment son. Something came up."
Voice a grumbling growl, mustache quivering with rage, he swings around to face MURDERHOUSE square on, lowers his head, and charges.
Diving in low, Haggar attempts to tackle the taller man at waist level and scoop his feet out from under him, carrying him up onto one broad shoulder before whipping around a tight 180 and slamming him shoulders-first into the matt. Back to the nearest corner, he does his best to keep hold of the Irish monster's legs, hiking them up toward his armpits as he glares angrily down into his masked face.
"You just rolled the dice on my patience, boy. And they're Snake Eyes."
Then, with all the weight and power in his massive form packed into the motion, he hurls himself back-first to the mat in an attempt to catapult MURDERHOUSE up and over, flinging him over the ring, over the top turnbuckle, and head-first into the black metal poles that support the cage-like framework of the heavy metal curtains...

COMBATSYS: Haggar knocks away MURDERHOUSE with Gamble Slam.

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
MURDERHOUSE      1/=======/=======|=------\-------\0           Haggar
[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/-----==/=======|

With the deep, metallic bell of skull on metal still vibrating through the frame, Haggar surges back to his feet and whips around, stomping forward in the wake of the air born giant. Stepping up behind where he is hanging over the corner ropes, he wraps both arms around him from behind and begins to step up the ropes like a ladder, dragging the masked monster up with him.
Balanced with one foot planted on either top rope, he lifts MURDERHOUSE higher, cradling him in his arms, and bounces once, twice., then springs high into the air, arcing up and back toward the center of the ring.
In mid air, Haggar rotates Mick so that he is upside down, back to belly, and clamps his head between powerful thighs. There he holds him, arms around waist and thighs around head, as they begin to spiral down to the mat, the oldster finishing the brutal combination of slams with a spinning pile driver from the top rope that the surrounding crowd can feel, the impact quivering through their guts and forcing out a loud 'OOOOOOOOH!'.


Johnny Cage is sitting on a director's chair (the back of which reads: CAGE, of course) in the corner of this ring and it looks like he's maxing and relaxing. Composing himself has come in the form of kicking back and watching these two muscleheads go to town on each other. He's got a small bag of popcorn which he's munching on right now in the midst of all this chaotic performance art.

2 Legit 2 Quit plays from the inside pocket of his jacket and Johnny leans his popcorn bag against him to dig around in his pocket for his phone. He flips it open and takes the call because of course he does. "Talk to me, Jenny. What? What do you mean they don't like me for the part? I'm Johnny Cage." Johnny hops up from his chair and holds a finger up to Haggar and the SNF Viewers. "They don't think I can pull off a Buddy Cop vibe?! Listen, just because I bring Gold to the Silver Screen doesn't mean I can't share the spotlight? You tell those producers to get Fei Long in for a chemistry test and I'll show them what I can do!" Johnny slams his phone closed.

"Sorry about that, Haggis. Producers, am I right?" Cage then winces as he watches what goes down between MURDERHOUSE and Haggar in that next moment. "Oof. I better help this dude out before the Mayor of Pound Town puts him in the Ground. I can't have people dyin' during my fights. It screws with the algorithim." Johnny Cage takes off in a rush towards Haggar while his words are sent in MURDERHOUSE's direction. "Hey Random Act of Violence Guy! How'd you like to ride Johnny Cage's coattails? One Night Only!" Johnny reaches out to grab at Haggar, "Follow my lead!"

Johnny's movements slide into a quick combo that he's been prepping for the Mayor as he raises a leg for a quick axe kick. "Nothin' personal, Haggy Baby." Johnny steps back to offer a roundhouse next. "Just tryin' to give the people what they want." Cage reaches for the back of Haggar's head to bring his face down to his knee. "Me." There's a moment where Johnny Cage beams for the cameras before he goes up and backwards with a vicious Flippy Kick aimed to take Haggar into the air via the chin!

"Ladies and Gentlemen... JOHNNY CAGE!"

So much ego in such a small man. Weird. Either way, this set up's going to look amazing on his reel...

He met Haggar in the middle of the ring, but unfortunately for the sultan of slaughter, the bishop of barbed wire, it seemed that Haggar was on a whole different level at the moment. Mick was thrown and suplexed, smashed into turnbuckles and the ring, and finally went flying through the air only to go crashing into the mat skull-first. It was a miracle he wasn't paralyzed or killed outright, or perhaps it was a result of something tough deep inside himself. In either case, he was immediately moving after such a violent piledriver, but it wasn't as impressive given that it mainly involved him crawling, and scrambling over to the bottom turnbuckle, resting his shoulders against it even as his head slumped and his hands and legs were continuing to twitch. If this were a one-on-one his days would be numbered and the writing would be on the wall. But luckily for the Deathmatch artist, opportunity came a-knocking in the form of Mr. Johnny Cage.

The second he saw the Hollywood actor blitz into frame and throw those powerful kicks, all thought of pain left his mind as Mick grabbed the middle ring ropes, and braced and prepared himself. When Johnny threw that last kick that hypothetically might launch Haggar into the air? Mick was launching HIMSELF through the air like a seven foot meat missile, grabbing Haggar by the knee and the side of the head, as Mick rested Mike's ribs across his shoulders. And with the Mayor in position, MURDERHOUSE started to fall like a meteor, aiming for the outside of the ring.

Now, why on earth was there a table, outside the ring? It wasn't a snack table, the commentary or broadcast team wasn't part of it. There were no camera equipment on this table. Even if there were, they'd be ruined since this table was on fire. Who approved -THAT-?! All these questions went unanswered, even as Haggar's skull, neck and shoulders were aimed for that thick wooden rectangle of Hell.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage and MURDERHOUSE successfully hit Haggar with Hot Take.

[                    \\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////                         ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0           Haggar
[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/------=|

Tailbone aching from his thunderous impact with the canvas, Haggar has a brief moment to reflect upon his growing age, and whether or not he will be able to keep this up for another ten years. Twenty? Every man reaches his limit at some point.
But then he remembers that he is Mike SLAMMING Haggar, and he comes up off of the matt with a roar, allowing MURDERHOUSE to crawl off toward the corner while he thrusts both thick arms over head and turns in a slow circle, playing to the crowd. Predictably they go wild, their cheers shaking the windows of the businesses surrounding Metro Square. Between himself and Johnny they've worked the viewers up to a fever pitch, and that doesn't abate in the slightest when he finishes the circle and comes face to heel with Cage's descending foot.
The opening axe kick impacts Haggar's forehead with bone-jarring force, rocking the huge man back on his heels and causing his eyes to go slightly crossed. The follow up kick then sweeps in to catch him on the side of the jaw and whips his head to one side, sending him stumbling off to his left with a woofing grunt of pain. It is about that time that his survival instincts begin to fire and he swings a huge forearm up in time to intercept what he thinks will be another kick, but Johnny's hands dance around the block and loop around the back of his head, dragging him forward into another stumble that ends with a knee bashing him squarely between the eyes, blood fountaining from his nostrils as his determined eyes go blank.
Seeing only stars, the dazed Mayor surges back upright, swaying like a tree in a storm as his scrambled brains attempt to drive him forward, meet the demands of a soul that still burns with righteous fury. Unfortunately, all he manages to do is stagger forward a step before Johnny's final kick sweeps up to hammer him under the jaw, throwing his head back and lifting him clean off of his feet to soar up and back through the air.
Right into the clutches of a vengeful MURDERHOUSE.
Stunned, dizzy, and not entirely sure where he is, the Mayor of muscle plummets out of the sky like a stone, riding the Irish monster's shoulders down into the flaming table of hell with an all mighty splintering SMASH!
Bits of flaming debris spray in all directions as the massive government official's head ploughs through the wood, snapping the sturdy piece of furniture in 3 different places. But the pain doesn't end there, for beyond the table is the reinforced wood of the stage, which Haggar impacts with a shuttering CRASH, skull cracking the surface before his bulk flops free of MURDERHOUSE's grip to lie still in the smoldering remains of the table, flames licking across his bruised and battered body.
Lips smashed, scalp split and drizzling blood, lumpy bruises beginning to potato across his recently kicked face, Mayor Mike Haggar stares blearily up toward the flashing city lights as they spin dizzyingly through the sky. It has been quite a long time since anyone managed to hit him so hard, even that big armored fellow at the wrestling tournament falling second to the combined efforts of his masked attacker and Johnny Cage. But even now, with consciousness fading in and out, there is enough sense shaking around in his rattled brain to realize the obvious.
"GRHK," he grunts, once more testing the limits of his battered mouth and jaw, "Young man..."
Right hand casting about, he closes thick fingers around the jutting leg of a section of table, the once proud furnishing reduced to little more than a solid metal club capped by a heavy chunk of flaming wood. Dragging it toward him he lifts his head, peering blearily around for the humanoid shape of Mick.
"Flaming, Tables," he pants, still woozy, "are not..."
With a Herculean effort, the Mayor of muscle surges up to a sitting position, both hands gripping the table leg as he brings it whistling around to smash into whatever part of MURDERHOUSE he may be able to recognize. The attack isn't as accurate as it could be, ore as powerful, but even a weak blow from the mighty Haggar can be an intimidating prospect to face.
The last bit explodes from Haggar's mouth in a bellow of supreme effort, the crowd all around roaring their approval, urging him forward. Urging him up...

COMBATSYS: Haggar can no longer fight.

[                    \\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
MURDERHOUSE      0/-------/---====|=------\-------\0      Johnny Cage

COMBATSYS: MURDERHOUSE fails to interrupt Random Weapon+ from Haggar with Enter Sandman.
- Power fail! -

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: MURDERHOUSE can no longer fight.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/------=|

Haggar hit hard, but then again, so did MURDERHOUSE. Haggar lie still and broken for a moment, while the masked man slowly untangled himself and rolled, and crawled away from the carnage in an effort to catch his breath. Edges of his hoodie were still on fire even though most of it was torn and mostly threads, pink spittle oozing from the mouth-holes of his hockey mask even as blood trickled down his left arm. This match really took its toll on the man, and it seemed that he was going to have to pay even more before the day was done.

By the time he worked himself back up to a vertical base, he was clutching the ringpost and hunched over with his back to the slowly rising mayor, seemingly not paying attention to the big man's words. But as his opponent approached with weapon in hand, it seemed Mick had a similar idea to Mike. But whereas Mike's weapon was crude and simple and entirely improvised, it seemed MURDERHOUSE had been planning this attack in advance. From under the ring tarp, a weapon was quickly grabbed, and it was a common sight in modern wrestling: A thick, bamboo training sword, designed to deliver blunt trauma and specifically meant not to be fatal. But definitely meant to be furious.

Even as Haggar was closing the distance to strike, the masked man was throwing out wild powerful two-handed strikes with that weapon, the sound of impact echoing crudely and awfully throughout the makeshift arena and making some nearby audience members wince even as others cheered it on. Truth be told, though, despite the impact and ferocity, this weapon wasn't likely to do a whole lot to a man like Mike Haggar, and as the bamboo sword eventually splintered and broke into uselessness, that table leg smashed and splintered against a dull white hockey mask, the impact so vicious that MURDERHOUSE dropped to the floor outside like a carcass, mostly unmoving save for the twitching of his fingers as he sprawl face down.

That was probably good news for Johnny Cage, actually...


Johnny Cage stands in the middle of everything that's gone completely wrong in this particular moment. He watches as the results of the Hot Take put Haggar on the ultimate defensive. He takes in the sight of MURDERHOUSE trying and failing to deal with Haggar's Last Stand. It's all a blur that Johnny Cage stares at from behind his stylish sunglasses.

All with a smirk on his face.

Maybe the SNF Crew just knows how to do this because the camera work is impeccable in this next moment, As Johnny Cage stands in the center of the chaos falling around him, he manages to look as cool as he does in his flicks. His back turned to MURDERHOUSE as he falls to the floor. He doesn't need to see the results of all this madness. Cool Guys Don't Look At Explosions... Or Falling Enemies.

However, Johnny Cage does turn with the camera angle so that his good side can be caught upon his viewing of Mayor Mike Haggar.


Johnny Cage takes in the moment, lips shifting into a half-smirk as he takes steps towards Haggar with the intent to reach him before he figures out if he's going to be on his feet or not. Which gives him the opening he needs to drop one of his signature bars. Hopefully, the Boom Mic can pick it up.

"This is the part where you fall down."

With that said, Johnny Cage straightens out his sunglasses and walks past Haggar, his stylized Cage Wear jacket all that the cameras get to see as he makes a swift stride towards the path back to his helicopter. As he goes, an 8x10 is thrown over his shoulder, snatched up by the wind to land right on top of Haggar's fallen body. It has, of course, been signed.

To Jessica,
%Sorry about your Dad.
Call Me, 555-2243.
Johnny F'N Cage!


COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has ended the fight here.

Log created on 20:44:06 11/22/2020 by Haggar, and last modified on 16:09:40 11/29/2020.