SNF 2019.04 - SNF: Break a Leg!

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Description: Velvet Blue throws down with La Huesuda in the Laff Stop comedy club. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll tear your quadriceps laughing! With special guests!

The Laff Stop. While comedy is part of Velvet's repertoire of skills, along with MCing, he never expected to have a show like this--down in Houston, of all places. Maybe afterwards he could get some barbeque or chili--or maybe some chick-fil-a! That is if they didn't chase him out first!

"Oh my my my, look at this place--and for that matter, look at me--where'd they dig this one up, eh?" Velvet casually walks right up on stage, next to a mic-stand and a small wooden stool. That was about all these sorts of places really gave to the entertainers, after all. He was clad in a silver rhinestone jumpsuit and a pair of long-white boots and gloves, something sufficiently flashy but still not too garish--he didn't want to blind the poor people, after all. And of course, there was a diamond-shaped cutout in the back for his tail. The darkstalker pushed his long black hair back, taking the mic off the stand. They were more comfortable carrying them, than having them just sit there. He needed freedom of movement.

"I hope you guys didn't expect this to be clean--it's going to get real filthy here tonight! Especially with the likes of us around!" he grinned and gave a big wink to the crowd.

"So many folks are blind to the subtext in things these days, you know, like all of the homoerotica in Bram Stoker's Dracula--it's very camp! I also found out recently my favorite song, Wolf Moon, is not actually about werewolves--it's about a woman's menstration cycle! I think in that case I'd prefer my girlfriend /was/ a werewolf! D'ohoho~"

Yes, Velvet is actually launching into a comedy set, like he wasn't just here to throw down.

The doors to the comedy club, that once heralded the entrance of many rising stars in the stand up circuit, open once more - but no comedian enters. The soft thump of cowboy boots heralds the entrance of La Huesuda, wearing her chaps and her leather jacket as she strides inside. The patrons all turn to regard the newcomer; a fight was promised tonight, after all, and the skull masked woman looked like a fighter. Perhaps it was in the way she walked, not taking her eyes off Velvet.

She doesn't announce her arrival, nor does she immediately make for the stage to try and crack some jokes. Instead she looks with her pale eyes at the Darkstalker, tilting her head left, then right, immediately noting the tail that indicates his nature.

She does, however, slowly raise her finger towards the second floor overlooking the stage, where the ring has been set up.

The doors push in, and La Huesuda enters, rather like an old western. The outfit probably helps.

"Uh oh, guys--a lady in a mask and chaps is here to see me, looks like I'm in trouble," the performer hooks a clawed index finger into the collar of their jumpsuit and tugs on it, gulping at the same time. It's cheesy pantomime, but it seems to work. He also doesn't go for the low-hanging fruit available here, comment-wise, because really, he could do much better.

"Well, it's either that, or Michael Myers!" he notes the tilting head and fixated stare coming from 'Suda, stepping back a bit on the stage. It /was/ fairly unnerving, even for him!

"Are you sure we can't talk about this--I can show you my Lightning Spangles trading card collection--" Velvet is still stepping back and giving Suda room for when she is likely to storm the stage, the tail on him is pretty obvious--the bat-like ears and yellow eyes even more so, plus the fangs on him. Not that he didn't look adorable when he wanted to.

"This is where she starts screaming like in body snatchers!" he is still managing to quip despite the fact Suda is giving him a deathly stare and pointing right at him. Shit's gonna go down!

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue has started a fight here on the right meter side.

                                  >  //////////////////////////////]
                                  |-------\-------\0      Velvet Blue

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0      Velvet Blue

Suda slowly walked forward, not taking her eyes off Velvet even as she climbs onto the stage and faces him uncomfortably close. She is silent for a few more seconds, and then grabs her jacket and flings it off, tossing it into the crowd. It lands on an awestruck trucker which covers his head and spills his drink. No one seems to make a fuss. The crowd has a full view of her exposed back, bearing the elaborate tattoo of Santa Muerte, the death saint, clad in holy robes and clutching her scythe in one hand and globe in the other, thorny roses trailing around her.

Suda plucks the microphone from Velvet and holds it to her face. "I hunt your kind," she begins. Her voice is low, slow...solemn, as if at a funeral. "But I don't sense murderous intent. Her Holy Death does not wish to see justice done on the I will see your character in the ring."

She then drops the mic.

Immediately after, she backflips, soaring through the air as she spins several times, finally landing on the edge of the ring, clutching the ropes before vaulting over it. She backs up further inside, waiting for her opponent to join her.

"Well, looks like you /will/ be getting a show tonight, gentlemen--but maybe it's not the one you were expecting," Velvet gives a wink as Suda's jacket gets flung off, moving to put the mic back on the stand when Suda snatches it away. He lets her have it. If the mic gets dropped or flung around it'll just be ear-rape for the audience, and he doesn't want that.

He inclines his head towards her voice however, and listens with interest, as if he's interested, nodding a bit.

"No problem, hon--we'll see the color of your spirit tonight on stage, too!"

Velvet is already hopping back from where Suda jumped into the ring and vaulting after her, standing as he cracks the knuckles beneath his gloves.

"Go easy on me, now~" he darts toward her, attempting to shoulder-check her away from him after closing in from the side!

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue successfully hits La Huesuda with Battle Dance.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-----==|=------\-------\0      Velvet Blue

Velvet is faster than Suda anticipated; the wrestler barely makes an attempt to block his charge when he slams into her, forcefully shoving her back until she hits the ropes. She grunts from the impact on her shoulder, crouching slightly as she presses a hand to where he hit. "No," she replies to his request. Evidently not much of a banterer.

She jumps onto the top ropes, with her back to Velvet. Then, she does another of her backflips, but this time it's to position herself above the Darkstalker, pressing down with her full body weight to slam him onto the mat.

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue dodges La Huesuda's Mournsault.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-----==|=------\-------\0      Velvet Blue

"You took those ropes like a diva! You're a wrestler too? Oof," Velvet seems impressed, also a bit intimidated--his own style followed a bit of pro-wrestling as well, so this was going to be tough. Suda would find herself coming down onto the mat, however, as her attempt to goomba the darkstalker fails, for the moment! He managed to use the momentum he already had to swing himself into the ropes as well, cushioning his fall against them. Bouncing back, Velvet puts out an arm to attempt to haymaker Suda as they return to them--aiming more for Suda's chest rather than some more vulnerable part, like their neck.

"Heads up!"

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda dodges Velvet Blue's Quick Strike.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

As the haymaker comes, the luchadora weaves around the punch. She twists until she is behind Velvet, reaching with one arm under his armpit while the other arm reaches across his neck. She then attempts to lift him up and apply a three-quarter nelson choke while standing, hoping to sap some of that whimsical spirit right out of him. "Hmm," is all she replies to his question.

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue blocks La Huesuda's Choke Hold.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

Knuckles impact skin, clashing of sinew--there was a rough aspect to this kind of fighting. It definitely wasn't ballet--even if it was in the vein of professional wrestling--that wasn't ballet either, as any wrestler could tell you. Velvet finds his semi-clutched fist glancing off he luchadora's fist, inflicting not as much as a scratch as she reached for him--grasping him and able to lift him right off his white-booted feet, choking him.

"Ack--guess we can't talk about this--" he croaked, finally able to wriggle out of her grasp and drops through the woman's arm, rolling to their side to spring up and grab for Suda's waist.

"Alright, lets go--" they attempt to pull Suda back and with them into a kind of suplex, though Velvet might not have the muscle to pull her the way he wants.

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue successfully hits La Huesuda with Strange Duet.
Grazing Hit

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Velvet Blue

Suda finds herself pulled forward, then suddenly suplexed into the mat. She rolls with the impact, however, avoiding any impact to more sensitive areas and managing to roll and leap to her feet. Still smarted. She was slowly realizing this bat boy creature wasn't all bad jokes and glitter - there was real strength there. She would have to step her game up regardless.

She slowly wags her index finger and shakes her head at Velvet. Then, she sprints right for him. She leaps to latch onto him, but begins to show off her luchador training by spinning all around him in a confusing series of movements, making a guessing game of when precisely she will strike...until she is in front of him upside down, wrapping her legs around his neck tightly as she plants her hands on the floor and pulls him forward to slam him into the mat, the classic hurricanrana.

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda successfully hits Velvet Blue with Death Rattle.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/--=====|=======\-------\1      Velvet Blue

Suda was heavy alright, seemingly all muscle--Velvet struggled to get a grip on them as the Lucha was brought down--but seemed to fall correctly so most of the shock of it was cushioned--then bringing his hands up again as the Lucha began to circle around him, trying to find an opening.

"Shit, you're strong--been eating those wheaties I see, girl--Eek!" Velvet actually yelps when Suda gets a hold of him with her legs, getting thrown and winding up headfirst into the mat. It's not what happens to his face it's more the resulting impact on his neck and back--the performer pulling themselves up and staggering afterwards.

Jumping into the air, Velvet attempted to give Suda a snap kick to the forehead or shoulder--whichever came first.

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda fails to interrupt Light Kick from Velvet Blue with Blooming Lily.

[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1      Velvet Blue

La Huesuda thinks back to her last few fights against opponents with flying techniques. A tactic she has yet to fine tune her counter for, but an attempt must be made. As Velvet jumps, so does she, reaching out to try and grab him around the neck and pull him down in an RKO...but the kick is longer than her reaches. With a loud SMACK, she catches a foot to the face, flying backwards as sweat flies from her head, landing hard on the mat enough to bounce.

Groaning, she twitches and rises, cricking her neck and tilting her head at Velvet again, still staring with her piercing gray eyes as she resumes her slightly hunched, open armed stance. She flexes her fingers.

"Yeowch--are you okay--" Velvet has to ask after his boot connects with Suda--getting both feet back on the ground and cringing a bit. They honestly hope the luchadora is alright there. They didn't mean to hit them that hard.

Once she rises, however, he can tell--oh shit--she's mad!

"Hold on now, it's almost time for the fireworks--" Velvet spreads an arm wide--prismatic chi energy coming off his arm in the shape of small fluttering things--they might be birds, bats--hearts, it's a rather eclectic shower of particles and projectiles!

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda blocks Velvet Blue's Neon Carnival.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-======|=======\=------\1      Velvet Blue

Suda grunts in reply, still waiting to see what Velvet does. She seems annoyed by the question - this is a ring after all, and she is a fighter. Then he starts showering her with...weird stuff that seems like they'd be out of a high school girl's notebook. The luchadora raises her arms to block the ones that strike her and burst in showers of energy, but the dazzling lights make her rapidly blink; her vision suddenly was marked by bright spots.

Undeterred, she focuses her own chi to cut through the bs; Dark purple, almost black, chi forms in her hand. She lashes forward in a vicious chop - but trailing the chop is a sweeping crescent of shadowy energy to cut through at Velvet.

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue blocks La Huesuda's Reaper Scythe.

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1      Velvet Blue

"Phew, this is rough, I need to do more cardio," Velvet looks a tad bit tired after all this excitement, it's true. He wipes his brow and the long black hair is slicked back against their scalp.

"Did you like my sparks--guess not!" Velvet has to bring up his arms to try and fend off the chi-based weapon that Suda brings down on them--tearing a few rhinestones off their jumpsuit. That's gonna leave a mark!

"Since we're down to weapons--try mine--" Velvet grinned a bit viciously and his eyes flared with a pale blue light--bolts of energy surging from them and racing across the mat toward La Huesuda!

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue successfully hits La Huesuda with Wishmaster.

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
La Huesuda       1/----===/=======|===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

La Huesuda looks unamused; then again, she's seemed pretty unamused for the entirety of the fight. Velvet is more or less a one man show for this club. Her expression finally changes when she senses his energy flaring up. Her eyes widen, momentarily startled. This was not expected. Her attempts to guard are in vain, as the fast flying bolts from his eyes slam into her and impale her.

Well, not actually impale her, as chi has its own certain property. But it FEELS like it. She yells from the sudden onrush of pain and is flung backwards, caught by the ropes and then slumping down, dazed.

Then she twitches, and like she was rising from the grave, slowly pulls herself back up, groaning. She still felt dazed, but evidently not too much, as she finally speaks. "Cero miedo."

Her eyes flash and she dashes forward, aiming a super kick to Velvet's head with enough force to send him to the ropes. If successful, he will find the ropes are also enveloped in that same shadowy energy - causing them to bend MUCH further than normal, like a slingshot. Which is precisely what happens when they fling him forward and into the air. Huesuda will leap to meet him, grabbing his head under her arm and falling back in a vicious DDT drop that will shake the whole club.

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue dodges La Huesuda's Day Of The DDT.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

"Sorry babe," Velvet pants as he reels from the immense energy put into the explosive chi attack, hands on his knees as he gasps for breath, before pulling himself back up to react when Suda dashes towards him again. He is able to duck the kick to his head--though nearly falls over as he puts too much weight to one side in the process.

"Woahh--low bridge--" instead bounding back against the ropes momentarily--before finding them pulsing with energy.

"Yikes--that is a good trick, didn't know you were a chi-user too--" Instead, Velvet attempts to counter by dropping low and sweeping at Suda's legs as they're still on the mat!

COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue successfully hits La Huesuda with Quick Throw.

[                         \\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
La Huesuda       0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

Suda is swept, caught unawares due to her commitment to the kick. She hits the mat hard, and lets out another groan, the energy rapidly leaving her. She slowly crawls to the corner post and hoists herself up, turning to face Velvet. "Enough," she says. "You have shown me your strength. I sense no malice in you; you are not like the ones I hunt." She pauses, lifting her mask slightly to spit some blood, but is careful not to show her face. "Go; be sure you don't stray the path into evil, or I will find you and destroy you." Of course, this coming from someone who just got their ass kicked, but regardless, her wisdom is dispensed.

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda takes no action.

                                  >  ///////////////////           ]
                                  |===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

COMBATSYS: La Huesuda can no longer fight.

                                  >  ///////////////////           ]
                                  |===----\-------\0      Velvet Blue

"Well, I can't argue with that--good night everybody!" Velvet picks up the mic again, before beating a hasty retreat, sliding beneath the ropes and hurrying back to his vehicle.

"Phew, gotta stop and get some water or something, maybe I'll find a gas station out on the road somewhere--" Velvet was already heading out to the suburbs, though, and the smaller towns around Texas, which there were quite a few. And already quite lost.

4 hours later!

"Whoo, who knew picking up a hitchhiker like this could make for such a night!"

Velvet found themselves sitting around a homemade kitchen table, in a very old house out in god knows where. Around them, was a trio of southern gentlemen, cackling madly--one of them over 6-feet tall and wearing a black rubber apron. Also what appeared to be a leathery hood or mask, the eyes and mouth smeared with women's makeup.

"Well, you know--one good turn deserves another, am I right, people?" Velvet grinned, in the background, a chainsaw could be heard revving up.

"Is that L'oreal, or Chanel? It's very nice--love this chili too, what's in it?" Velvet tasted the small cup in front of him.

"The secret's in the meat!" the hitchhiker leaned over and chuckled. Velvet blinked.


Log created on 20:29:41 04/19/2019 by Velvet Blue, and last modified on 22:08:40 04/22/2019.