Description: As related to the Tekken one, the Final Fantasy series has recently been analyzed as possible integration for the MotM setting. With Dissidia being a prime example of a fighting game, the opportunity to recreate it is impossible to miss. As we sort out how to handle Blue Magic integration with MotM, we will need a test fight, the exotic Velvet Blue will battle the walking armory Bulleta. Velvet Blue will be taking on the persona of Kuja, thong and all. Facing him? Bulleta, in character as Laguna. Will Velvet Blue give Bulleta a truly climatic performance, or will he be getting the cuchi cuchi treatment?
SOME TIME AGO
A thinly frowning Bulleta clicks a link from her fight manager.
"I'm Brandon!" a man with short, blonde spikes wearing a sparkling 'PBBB' chain, a flame-patterned button-down, and baggy black jeans proclaims through laptop speakers.
"I'm Brendon!" a slightly younger man wearing a sparkling 'PBBB' chain, a black button-down, and baggy, flame-patterned jeans adds.
"And weeeeeeeeeee're: the Promo Bros!" they announce in unison.
"Today, we're here to offer you, yes YOU," Brandon continues, "an opportunity to CRUSH an upcoming promotunity on behalf of Square Enix Holdings!"
"B," Brendon stutters as the video gets choppy, "B-B-B-B-BRANDED multimedia marketing integration all up IN this piece!"
Brendon, it should perhaps be noted, doesn't look a day under forty.
"Jesus fucking christ," Bulleta mutters while scrubbing through a solid twelve minutes of the Promo Bros breaking the Final Fantasy franchise down with a level of detail and accuracy that could best be described as 'frustrating; kind of insulting, even' interwoven with marketing jargon and steeped in desperate, grasping attempts at coolness. "Come /on/-- oh, /there/--"
Dollar signs - spinning, gold and diamond-encrusted dollar signs - line the frame as the Bros finally get down to the good stuff: cash - a respectable, but not lavish sum - to participate in a fight while in costume as a character from the games. The dangling possibility of an ad campaign incorporating footage from the fight, generating further revenue down the line for interested parties.
Whether via agent, email, or mysterious DM, Velvet Blue would've received the same video, the same offer.
Blue leather jacket, check. Plain white tee, check. Baggy red pants, check. Black combat boots, check. Submachine gun loaded up with rubber for the cameras, check. A couple mags of AP rounds tucked into her wide, black belt, check.
Just to keep her options nice and open. Maybe the other guy's too tough or crazy for rubber; maybe Square Enix would like to see a little blood. Who knows? Not Laguna 'Bulleta' Loire, but she certainly means to be /ready/.
Black hair's tossed over a leather clad shoulder as Bulleta advances along Castle Illyria's ramparts to introduce herself to her opponent. A blue leather satchel sways heavily from her shoulder with each step, with one of its straps clenched tightly in both hands; she won't let go until she's a few feet from Velvet, at which point she offers a stiff wave. The costume fits her perfectly, but past that?
The tremble in her offered hand and fear shining in her wide, blue eyes suggest that someone must've made a mistake. What's the point of a timid cosplayer for a job that requires a bold-- well, cosplayer, still, but there's a /difference/. There may not be much call for theater today, but surely: attitude counts for something, doesn't it?
"Hi," she shyly says while sticking her hand out and leaning forward for a shake. "I'm-- well, you can call me B.B., but I guess my name's kinda gotta be Laguna today, huh?" After a big, deep breath, she manages a tiny smile and forces herself to meet the Darkstalker's eyes.
"What's /your/ name?"
COMBATSYS: Bulleta has started a fight here.
Some time ago, Velvet was running into a similar issue himself, at their flat in Japan--where they had received a similar kind of LUCRATIVE job opportunity. This one hadn't come mainly from their performance work, however--it more had to do with his time in the Saturday Night Fights show. Apparently someone had thought they'd be a great fit for--
"Kuja?? Final Fantasy? Do they even still /make/ those games anymore? Isn't it all just mobile garbage and that online one--which was exactly the same as the other online one and then it tanked?! What the hell are they thinking--" of course, then Velvet had seen the few zeroes that had been added to the fee associated with the job, and...
"N'yahahaha! Silly ugly mortals, gaze upon my majesty and beauty!"
Flanked by a pair of dwarf (or extremely short, it's not clear) Black Mage servants, Violet Blue/Kuja stepped out--throwing off a long full-body white mage robe, yes, with the red triangles and everything--their normally dark hair dyed a crimson red, the darkstalker's body fitted with bodypaint and skimpy attire to mimic the vainglorious and narcissistic genome's full body fur markings--yes, we were going full on Trance mode for this, they were not going to attempt to fight in pointed toe boots and a half-skirt for this. Long red fur fingerless gloves and thigh-high gaiters, plus a thong--and of course, red nailpolish and makeup. Velvet already had pointed finger and toenails, so actually the wardrobe and makeup job had worked out pretty well--their own blue spaded tail clad in a red fluffy sleeve to mimic the simian-esque tail normally associated with the character.
"Do you know who I am? hmph, all that leather, no style--not like moi, of course," Velvet grinned, their ivory fangs hanging over their painted red lower lip.
"You think /you/ are enough to challenge me?~ Out of my sight!" they snarled with a grin. Really, this wasn't that far from some of their usual shenanigans--again, they were probably a bit /too/ good at this. The black mages collect Velvet/Kuja's robe and scurry off, the battle is joined!
"N-no!" B.B. Loire exhales while shrinking back from Velve's snarl. Her hand falters, then falls; her eyes follow suit in short order.
"Of course not," she murmurs after swallowing. "But-- well, I guess because I-I accidentally won a title belt, a while ago, someone thought..." Blue eyes flick towards Velvet's for a beat. "They thought that m-maybe... maybe it'd be worth putting me out here to be s-seen-- associated with their product... but they obviously made a mistake." A shuddering breath escapes her lips as she turns her head towards the rapidly vanishing Black Mages, then there's another swallow. Velvet brought /extras/; he went to so much /trouble/ on his costume...! The anxiety's crackling in her eyes as they bounce between the extras, their employer, the camera crew, the Promo Bros set up in their director's chairs...
"I-I don't know who you are, but that's-- that's all the more reason why I don't belong here, isn't it...?"
The satchel death gripped in her hands begins to sway as her forearms subtly twitch and shift.
"But-- but it's too late to find a replacement /now/, so: even if Brandon and Brendon DID m-make a mistake, hiring me..."
Every swing travels a little farther than the last until the satchel's a pendulum at her side. Whatever's stuffed in there is heavy enough that the whole thing seems to briefly hang after each swing before violently snapping back into its arc.
"... I have to just-- just do my BEST not to let them down...! Forgive me, Kuja...! For-- aah!"
It's /so/ heavy that one of those swings actually seems to disrupt the shy teen's footing, /yanking/ her forward-- towards Velvet. Luckily for someone, the satchel seems poised to crash directly into the entertainer's gut despite the slip-up.
COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue has joined the fight here on the right meter side.
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Bulleta 0/-------/-======|-------\-------\0 Velvet Blue
COMBATSYS: Bulleta successfully hits Velvet Blue with Shyness & Strike.
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Bulleta 0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0 Velvet Blue
"Well, you do now, peasant~ It's fine, royalty must present themselves, d'ohoho," Velvet grins back at Bulleta with their yellow eyes glowing a bit in the lower light. "Feel free to gaze at me, you'll have plenty of time to do it as you recover after my performance," Velvet began stepping toward Bulleta, the Darkstalker's otherwise bare feet slapping against the hard stone floor of the castle--at least where there wasn't rugs.
"Well everyone belongs somewhere, after all--woah!" the satchel charge is a bit unexpected--blowing up and knocking them back. They're actually thrown to the ground and get up bloodied and bruised from that, flipping themselves back onto their feet with grace.
"Commoners, meanwhile, ought to die without a fuss!" Velvet then springs toward Bulleta, attempting to land near them and then flip up into the air--the ground exploding with energy beneath them!
COMBATSYS: Bulleta blocks Velvet Blue's Grand Entrance.
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Bulleta 0/-------/=======|====---\-------\0 Velvet Blue
Up on the ramparts, there are no rugs. They'd detract from the ambiance: a proper Final Fantasy exterior castle tileset doesn't have time for rugs.
"... sorry!" B.B. exclaims as she stumbles to a halt and Velvet tumbles away. "Sorry!!" she repeats after they're up and at her, hands cupped over her mouth in wide-eyed mortification. "I, I didn't-- I didn't /mean/ to-- aah!"
The satchel swings up and she clutches the blue leather weight in both hands so she can duck down and hide behind it. Exploding energy crashes against its surface, leaving a few black marks and shoving her along the ground with its sheer force. She manages to avoid being left sprawled, but still has to do a couple of backward rolls into a crouch before she's properly stable again.
"BUST A CAP IN 'IM!" Brandon shouts from the sidelines.
"ROAST HER ASS!" Brendon adds. "ULTIMA THE THAT HO!"
"S, so I guess-- I guess we should just...?"
There's no waiting for confirmation. B.B. rips the gun free from her back, takes a beat to draw a bead on Velvet and estimate where she figures Velvet /might/ go... then squeezes her eyes shut, turns her head away in fright, and sprays the ramparts with bullets while edging towards Velvet.
COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue blocks Bulleta's Medium Strike.
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Bulleta 1/-----==/=======|=====--\-------\0 Velvet Blue
"Gah!" Velvet had heard B.B Freaking Hood was a tough customer, but they were not expecting this kind of Tsundere psycho killer action! Velvet winds up taking one bullet to the arm--more of a graze, really, spraying blood--while he brings his wakizashi up to deflect the next which was headed for his ribs. Yes, he'd had that hidden down the side of one of his leg warmers. Wasn't really anywhere else for it to go, mind--he was basically in a thong and arm/legwarmers!
"Ow--jeez, little less bullets, huh?!" Velvet breaks kayfabe for just a bit under his breath, as he growls and strikes out with that bladed weapon at Bulleta's mid-section! If they're going to try and maim him, then he'll return the favor!
COMBATSYS: Bulleta blocks Velvet Blue's Armed Combo.
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Bulleta 1/-----==/=======|======-\-------\0 Velvet Blue
"Wh-what? But-- but they're /rubber/--"
SOME TIME AGO
"Bro, Square Enix isn't gonna pay for this shit if it's not REAL," Brandon Promo grouses while going over Bulleta's prospective loadout, "right? It's gotta feel VISCERAL-- we need ACTION! We need BLOOD! Rubber bullets?? They don't use rubber bullets in Final Fantasy! They don't even have RUBBER in Final Fantasy!"
"Fuckin' right they don't, bro-- hey! Idea: we slip some hollow-points in, and just /tell/ her that they're..."
It's not funny.
"-- aren't they?"
The woman with the machine gun flicks her eyes towards the blood flowing down Velvet's arm, then back to Velvet's eyes. She bites down on her bottom lip hard and shudders.
Don't laugh. Don't break. Don't smile. It's not funny, it's /terrible/--
"A-- o-oh, oh, god, they /weren't/, were-- oh /god/--!" she stammers through increasingly panicked panting. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm-- aah!"
Black brows arch when a flash of steel demands that she snap the satchel into position between her midsection and the blade. Where did...?
Her eyes briskly scan over Velvet's outfit. The mystery makes for a fine distraction from the kinetic trauma currently radiating through her arms after Velvet's expertly wielded blade sliced across the satchel without leaving a mark.
Professional respect for the Darkstalker's resourcefulness flashes in her eyes as they once again set on Velvet's.
"They," the shuddering girl sputters out, "th-they /gave/ me the gun, I... I /have/ to use it, don't I?!"
And use it she does, on that note-- as a club, after briskly flipping it around so that the barrel's a handle and the handle's a blunt surface. She specified that any weapons/props provided needed to be reinforced or face a high risk of shattering, depending on how the fight goes; in this, at least, the Promo Bros did their best to comply-- likely because reinforced weapons could only serve to amplify the bloodshed. After taking half a beat to wind up, B.B. unleashes a crushing blow aimed at the arm where she already drew blood while the arm that guided her satchel against his wakizashi hangs limp and aches.
COMBATSYS: Bulleta successfully hits Velvet Blue with Crushing Strike.
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Bulleta 1/----===/=======|=======\==-----\1 Velvet Blue
"You're freakin' B.B. Hood, lady--I'm sure you are--" Velvet coughs, displaying definite sarcasm there, but then the girl turns her gun around, effectively wielding it like a club and pistol whipping Velvet with it! Ouch!
Velvet winds up taking the handle (and by extension the magazine, lets hope Bulleta didn't use ones with pointy bits on the ends of them) Now, stamped metal box magazines are likely a bit less to yield than the hair and scalp that is underneath it, Velvet winding up with a concussion and a very nasty cut up there, on the top of his head. It leaves him... rather out of it, and in blinding pain, actually. Blood runs down the side of their hair--not that it's easy to see, mind, thanks to the red dye job--but it is noticeable when it begins to run down their sides and belly.
"Guh... you'll... never look as good... as me!" Velvet tries to stay in character, but the pain is making that a bit hard, poor Velvet~
A surge of adrenaline allows the woozy and half-blind from a pain behind their eyes they can't quite describe Darkstalker to jump back toward Bulleta, claws out and attempting to stab their clawed fingernails /into/ Bulleta and drain their energy!
COMBATSYS: Bulleta full-parries Velvet Blue's Beautiful Beast!!
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Bulleta 1/--=====/=======|==-----\-------\0 Velvet Blue
Bonnie 'Bulleta' Hood allows a warm smile after her arm-crushing blow becomes something much bloodier.
"I-I didn't know I had a /fan/...!" she stammers while lowering the gun so she pay closer attention to Velvet. A light blush spreads across her cheeks and she /struggles/ not to avert her gaze from the entertainer. "You're so /sweet/."
Not one iota of that warmth makes it to her eyes as she studies Velvet with all the care of a butcher with a steer. B.B. Hood introed herself to the world as a professional fighter by timidly challenging the late Jezebel Faiblesse to a losing title match, then proceeding to bring her unique mix of shy innocence and heavy weaponry to further bouts.
But Velvet Blue's part of another world, one that - until Metro City was overrun by the monsters of Majigen - went blissfully ignored by the rest-- and in /that/ one, the name 'B.B. Hood' has become synonymous with opportunistic brutality and grim bedtime stories.
"I-I could give you an autograaaah!"
One thing is consistent between these worlds: B.B. Hood isn't big on breaking character. Even with the possibility of recognition lingering, she still gives Velvet shy, reserved admiration-- at least, until the Darkstalker /LEAPS/ at her and demands action. With her arms still aching from deflecting Velvet's first few attacks, jerking the satchel into his path won't be it, which means evasion.
Which means swatting at the inside of her jacket while stumbling back from Velvet and hitting the ground. Those nails are /inches/ from her feet-- close enough for a couple of the smoke pellets that wind up tumbling out of her jacket to bounce off of their hand and roll away. If it weren't for them, one small adjustment is all it'd take for Velvet to snag themselves a living, breathing scourge to their kind... but as it is, they burst into plumes of blue smoke meant to obscure Velvet's vision while she finds somewhere else to be.
Any adjustments after that will leave him clutching a small doll-- of her, Laguna costume and all.
"I admit," she whispers in their ear. She didn't go /far/, just-- far enough, to Velvet's right...!
"The wakizashi? That really /was/ impressive~"
Especially compared to the knife she pulls from-- -- somewhere before leaping into an attempt to mount Velvet's back. In a low voice devoid of girlish naivete, she wonders, "Gotta be a secret to /moving/ with that thing stashed on you, right?" and if she makes it to Velvet's back?
The question will be punctuated with a vicious slash across the Darkstalker's upper body meant to draw even more blood for the camera.
COMBATSYS: Bulleta successfully hits Velvet Blue with Smile & Slice EX.
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Bulleta 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0 Velvet Blue
"That... might be nice at this point..." Velvet temporarily breaks Kayfabe again, though he quickly reverts. The smoke had blinded them, and as they descended on B.B. Hood--she was to his right--out of the way already!
"Uh huh?" he asked with a pained and questioning tone of voice at her dastardly whispering, eyes going wide. Welp, this was bad.
The knife goes into his back, spraying blood up along Bulleta's costume--and his own, for that matter, not that it's easy to see--turning himself to back his back into a nearby parapet to remove her--or at least dislodge her--before stepping back.
COMBATSYS: Bulleta blocks Velvet Blue's Random Strike.
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Bulleta 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=====--\-------\0 Velvet Blue
"Guess I'll just have to experiment 'til I figure it out, won't I?"
A beat as Bulleta's eyes flick towards the thong. Her nose wrinkles.
"With an adjustment or two," she mutters. "C'mon," comes out a touch louder, "towards that cam--"
Ramming her into the parapet is fair, especially when she barely has any purchase on the Darkstalker. She manages to squeeze out, "--era!" while clenching against Velvet's back and drawing her knees up for impact. Instead of her back, the soles of her boots hit the wall, forcing her to let go or suffer through having her legs forced into brutal angles. After tumbling free, she ends up on her belly, pushing herself up on her hands. One's still got a machine gun in it; the knife's a couple feet away from the other.
"G-gosh, sir," B.B. Hood stammers, once again full of innocence and light, "I didn't mean to cut you so /deeply/-- I just wanted to give you a nice scratch, to make it look /real/, y'know? For the cameras...!"
There's a bit of a wobble as she plants her feet and straightens, but she's up. Up and advancing on Velvet, weaving to and fro a little after they nearly peeled her off of them. Blue eyes flick deliberately over his body for a beat before falling to the ramparts.
"D'you think they're gonna /use/ any of this...? I-- I know I'm not /much/, bu--uuuuuh!"
Her slow and steady advance is suddenly interrupted by a piece of rubble chipped off by her rough impact against the parapet. Her sole hits the stone and slides. Both arms windmill--
-- and a burst of gunfire streaks towards Velvet.
"Please don't get shooooooooot!" she cries on her way down.
COMBATSYS: Bulleta successfully hits Velvet Blue with Power Strike.
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Bulleta 2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\1 Velvet Blue
They always cut deep. People know this about knives to the back. Not that Velvet didn't expect it. He did. In a figurative way, at least. Though it didn't mean he expected it in the form of a bounty hunter wearing a Laguna outfit riding his back.
"Guh--" The bullets pepper his location, bits of his costume flying as blood sprays--blood gushing out of the bullet holes riddling his arms and legs, really bad blood loss there.
"That's not possible! If I can't live, then no one can!" Velvet's eyes begin to glow a horrible white hot green color, energy surging from his eyes!
The energy begins to seem to build and eclipse the entire high wall of the outside of the castle. It grows, and grows, and grows--until the blinding hot white light is completely taking over the vision of everyone around--rocks are and pieces of the ramparts are lifted up into the air--and then it EXPLODES.
Down below, Velvet Blue's legs are sticking out of the windscreen of someone's car, the rest of them apparently resting in the back seat, one of their red-nailed feet twitching idly. Ouch. Hopefully some paramedics arrive soon! But probably not!
COMBATSYS: Velvet Blue can no longer fight.
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COMBATSYS: Bulleta full-parries Velvet Blue's Wishmaster!!
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On the one hand, Velvet going nuclear is A Problem: the ramparts don't offer /that/ much room to maneuver and may not last long under pressure, besides. That much energy... the satchel would /probably/ hold, but what would it do to /her/?
There's so much that she can't see anything /but/. Is it worth the risk...?
On the other hand, Velvet going nuclear is An Opportunity: if it doesn't kill her, it'll give her intel that might be useful later. They don't appear in the NOL's database, and she has yet to see a contract for them; both could change at any time. It could very easily wind up paying to experience a taste of Velvet at his best.
But his best is /blinding/, and now the rampart is /crumbling/, and--
And the satchel might or might not work for blocking, but there's at least one thing it's /definitely/ good for. Swiftly, she seizes one of the zippers dangling from the satchel, twists it just so, then tugs it across the track while orienting herself - and /it/ - towards Velvet.
The Darkstalker EXPLODES... and a frowning missile with a prominent scar running down its nosecone races towards them. B.B. races after it for a few paces then jumps, only for the scarred missile to meet Velvet's expanding wall of destruction and detonate. The explosion's much smaller by comparison-- much more readily buffered by a heavy-duty satchel and the deceptive strength of a diminutive Huntress than the stone-shattering blast unfolding from Velvet.
Especially when she's /counting/ on it to blow her off of the ramparts to the parking lot, where she tucks, rolls, and bounces a few times before coming to a shallowly panting stop on her back.
"Bro!" Brandon Promo exclaims as he, his brother, and the camera crew race along the crumbling ramparts in a desperate bid to escape being collateral damage, "Bro, did you see that? Square's LOVE this shiz!"
"Yyyyeah!" Brendon Promo replies. "Yeah! They-- they sure will love it when I call them! And... tell them! About this DOPE-ass ad we just made for them...!"
SOME TIME AGO
"Why would we want to promote-- hh. Mr. Prominski," a Square Enix rep sighs over the phone, somewhere between bored and annoyed, "while we here at Square Enix appreciate you and your brother's enthusiasm for our brands, and your... creative... pitch to stage a fight between characters from our properties for promotional purposes, we aren't currently planning any advertising campaigns focused on Final Fantasies Eight(tm) or Nine(tm), nor are we planning any Trance Kuja(tm) or Laguna Loire(tm)-centric advertisements for the Dissidia(tm) series. Square Enix--"
"... what?" Brenden Promo whispers.
"-- Holdings doesn't accept marketing pitches from independent third parties. We thank you for your"
"What am I-- we had to put the money to pay these people in escrow, we--"
"interest and hope that you'll continue to enjoy our products in the future."
"Y-- we-- oh my God. You /can't/-- oh my /God/."
"We're fuckin'... we're /ruined/, we bought the /costumes/-- what HAPPENED? Me an' Hirano, we were like-- he fuckin' basically PROMISED!"
"Mr. Hirano was let go weeks ago, sir. It was believed that he was showing poor judgement in negotiations with outside contractors, and--"
"WHAT?! So who ELSE'm I supposed to do shots an' talk-- God. God, I-- Bran's gonna get Dad to take me outta the WILL if he finds out I-- FUCK--!"
"H-hey, bro!" Brendon exclaims over the sound of a cameraman tumbling out of sight when stone gives way beneath his feet. "Just-- just want you to know I love you! No matter what...!"
Eventually, white hot destruction fades, leaving a fresh scar on a Castle Illyria that's been scoured clean of outsiders. The camera crew and the Promo Bros are in various states of pain below, but luckily, the medical team on site had the wherewithal to stay the hell on the ground; they'll be fine, once they're treated.
Velvet will probably be okay too-- once they're freed from that windshield, anyway. Neither he nor Bulleta are likely to hear anything about royalties stemming from today, but at least the footage'll live online for as long as those interested in sharing it manage to outpace Square Enix's lawyers.
And at least the Promo Bros had the courtesy to count their chocobos before they were hatched.
COMBATSYS: Bulleta has ended the fight here.
Log created on 19:09:29 11/24/2018 by Bulleta, and last modified on 17:47:55 11/28/2018.