Illyria - Illyria Act 1 - Class Versus Ass

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Description: Marduk, known for his random assaults and love of Terry Rogers, is hardly the person one would expect in an expedition into the lost kingdom of Illyria. But by joining the militia forces of the NOL, he finds himself with orders to hang around the Sacred Order base of operations, and wait for for further instructions. Marduk is not good at following directions. When the Sacred Order camp comes under attack by Oswald, the classy assassin runs into Marduk. While the towering hulk has no reason to protect the Sacred Order, he doesn't realize this, and immediately plays the role he thinks he has: as a bodyguard.


Marduk's baritone rumbles through the base camp of the Illyria Expedition. The base camp was situated at the mouth of the Illyria pass, the stark stone cliff-face of the pass high up behind them. The camp was built with tents, fortified with blankets and open campfires to struggle against the mountain chill. It was cold, deathly cold. And yet, in the chaplain tent, the various members of the Sacred Order lower there heads in prayer. All around, there are LED candles, with electric heaters carefully placed around. The fire hazard would be limited to the best of their ability, with the heat sources covered. For now, it was a time of quiet reflection.

Marduk, however, had orders.

As a member of the militia effort of the NOL, he was told very clearly to stand by the Sacred Order group at the church tent, and guard them. He was also told to report any unusual behavior, but Marduk wasn't really good at that part. The part he was good at was standing around. Well, actually he was kind of bored of that, wriggling around in his thick blue and white NOL uniform. It was warm, for the most part, but he was more BORED than anything. "Like, I am sorry, but I just gotta say how cold it is, and I would normally hate the cold, but this is totally crazy cold. You've ever been this cold before? It's so fucking insane-"

"That's nice, son, but can we please finish our prayers?"

The Lieutenant of the Sacred Order looks from his bible, staring -daggers- at Marduk, along with the other Sacred Order members. Marduk looks around a bit. And then, he realizes, holding his hands up. "OH! SHIT! SORRY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE NAPPING AND SHIT! I GUESS YOU GOTTA CHILL WITH YOUR BFF JESUS OR SOME SHIT!" There is a quiet moment of prayer. Marduk stands by the entrance of the tent. He clears his throat.

"So, like, have you heard about the Da Vinci Code?"

Aside from Marduk's shouting overall it has been a peaceful day. There was no hints that things were about to go sour. For all intents and purposes Marduk is bored and that is a good thing. That means no trouble is to be had and the members of the Sacred Order can go about their business. It is a calm before the storm.

The orders were vague and the person hiring him being more so. There is an affiliation with the Illuminati that has led to different jobs that he takes up for money. And also for the thrill of the kill even if in most cases the victim's are helpless. Helpless like the poor man that first comes across the well dressed assassin. He can not even get a word out before he is falling over in a heap holding his throat. Moments later another body falls and eventually a woman in a panic is rushing towards where Marduk and the members of the Sacred Order are praying. "Intruder! We have an in-"

She is cut off. Her mouth and eyes going wide as she staggers a few steps. She is reaching out with a hand as she falls forward dead. Resting in her back is a simple looking playing card that is imbedded about halfway into her. In the distance Oswald is adjusting his tie and giving a shake of his head. "It is rather rude to run away." he simply states and he glances about before things settle on Marduk. Someone that wasn't on the report and a mountain of a man as well. "Ahh, and who might you be?"

Marduk isn't even initially aware of the death around him.

"So there is this Dan Brown guy, and he's a complete and total genius, let me tell you that. So I'm listening to my Audiobooks on the plane, and I get this whole genius idea of like you have this secret society like the Sacred Order, and it's called the Templar Knights! ANd it's totally like you guys, except it's to hide the fact that Jesus and Maid Marion had a baby! Oh Hello!" Marduk nods at Oswald, as he throws the corpse in. "So anyways-"

"What a minute!"

Marduk plants a hand to the side of his head, as he double takes at the intruder. The worship group was already scrambling; moving away from the strange man who had arrived with death at his fingertips. "Holy SHIT you are an intruder! Oh by the way, I am Craig Marduk, but you can call me Marduk, or ALL MAN cause holy shit I'm a guard! And those are some dead people!" Marduk observes, as already, the chaplain steps before his flock, arming himself with a candlestick. "That means you killed some people! That means you are probably SOME HOT SHIT! DAMN!" Marduk brushes his hands off. "It looks like it's time for some real action."


Marduk pounds his chest. "Alright, OLD MAN! You better get yourself ready, cause you are gonna get POUNDED DOWN! I mean -REAL POUNDED!- You are gonna regret coming into this secret base, because when Marduk is gonna get on up in this here GRILL of YOURS! I'm gonna BUST those SWEET ASS SUNGLASSES! ARE THOSE PRESCRIPTION! CAUSE DOCTOR MARDUK IS ABOUT TO UNLOAD SOME PAIN! Oh man, it's gonna feel -fresh- when I start to ground and pound you. I'm gonna be a HERO!" Marduk explains as the chaplain rushes at Oswald with the candlestick, rushing to defend his flock.

All while Marduk continues to posture.

Ask and ye shall receive. Marduk is very much happy to introduce himself in the most over the top way possible. Despite that Oswald just casually stands there with not a change of emotion showing on his face. He is quiet and observant. He is more than aware of the foolish chaplain rushing towards him. "I see. So they pay you to protect them?"

His gaze never really moves away from Marduk as he gives a gentle flick of the wrist. The chaplain is soon stopped dead in his tracks due to the playing card embedded in his forehead. There is the look of disbelief as the light fades from his eyes and he falls over in a heap leaving no one between Oswald and Marduk now. The old man simply adjusts his tie as he regards the much bigger Marduk and considers things.

"I know someone who could pay you more, but that is your decision. Fight now and die with these sheep or live to be paid well. You seem like a smart man." Somehow he says that last line without sounding sarcastic at all. "What do you wish to do?"

"Sure as SHIT pay me!"

Marduk continues as the chaplain seizes up, keeling over dead. "Holy crap, and there are like BOUNTY shit too, like I didn't end up capturing this like Sylvie chick who was all crazy and killed people and she was C Rank, but she was worth $23,000.00! Like that's as much as a kind of shitty boat!" As Marduk talks, one of the people he was supposed to protect is killed. Marduk slaps his forehead. "Shit, you just murdered the hell out of that dude! I'm supposed to be protecting this guys!"

But then he talks about someone who could him more?

"Wait, sheep? Nah I heard that kind of flat chested gun bimbo is going over with the sheep place. Like Christmas or whatever her name is. But you are right. I -AM- a Smart MAN! ES EM AR TEE! I got so many FUCKING IQs that I'M a FUCKING STEPHEN HAWKING!" One of the acolytes mutters something while cowering. Marduk cups his ear.


"WELL DAMN. I GUESS IF HE COULD WALK, HE WOULDN'T BE DEAD!" Marduk turns back over to Oswald. "So did he have cancer or some shit? I mean jeeze, maybe you're dying, you are pretty damn pale! Well ANYWAYS. What do I wanna do?" Marduk suddenly charges at Oswald, rushing at him to carrying him out of the tent, and out into the snow outside in a mighty charge, to lift him up and throw him right on out.

"I wanna stop talking, and wanna start POUNDING!"

COMBATSYS: Oswald has started a fight here.

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Oswald           0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Marduk has joined the fight here.

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Oswald           0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0           Marduk

COMBATSYS: Marduk successfully hits Oswald with Strong Throw.
- Power hit! -

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Oswald           0/-------/---====|-------\-------\0           Marduk

There is a faint shake of his head. "Those bounties. Most are pretty laughable. Peanuts for risky situations. I guess you aren't as smart as I thought." Said bounties were something Oswald himsel looked at. The reward was often not worth the risk from what he saw. Not when he is paid handsomely to take out easier prey.

He says little more. Marduk is doing well at doing all the talking to begin with and instead he intently sees if the man comes to a decision. He figured the lummox would be easy to bribe and send on his way so Oswald could more easily finish what he came here to do. Instead the giant man is coming right towards the old assassin at high speed. "Very well."

He starts to step aside as a hand reaches into his jacket, though he is quickly caught by surprise at the quickness of the bigger man and he finds himself charged into and then tossed up and away. Oswald is not exactly a heavy man and the force sends him a fair distance away. Though while airborne he isn't completely helpless as he slings a card in the direction of Marduk to sink right into his stomach if his aim holds true. Not that Oswald will see the result because soon after he goes crashing into the ground and into a stack of supply crates.

COMBATSYS: Marduk endures Oswald's Queen.

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Oswald           0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0           Marduk

"PEANUTS?!" Marduk bellows as he sends Oswald flying out.

If Marduk was thinking more, he might have been easy to convert. The trouble was, he was loving this work like a little kid at a toy store. If the toys were punching people smaller than him. And the store was not prison. Already, Oswald was cutting deep at the spiritual leadership of the Sacred Order. And Marduk? Well, Marduk was proving unreliable by his own standards. But if Oswald was going to take these gigs because of the low risk?

WEll, Marduk was gonna help him re-evaluate that risk assessment.

"I gotta say, I sometimes relate to Charlie Brown!" Marduk rumbles as he forces out of the tent. He is greeted by the slicing cards. The cards dig hard through his uniform, slicing deep into his body, getting a grunt from him. Already, they were well suited in killing other guards; even Marduk can feel the precision weaving deep and deadly in him. Blood trickles out through his blue and white uniform, as Marduk feels -cold-. And yet, like a raging bull elephant, Marduk doesn't really seem to get his mind off on Oswald. Slowed down only a little bit, the towering brawler stampedes at the assassin, hovering over him on the crates. He doesn't even slow down as he reaches them.

He was just going to start the aforementioned pounding.

No mounting, no stomping. He would just start -punching- the moment Oswald makes his move. A bone breaking right cross, a gut-wrenching slam to the abdomen. Marduk would finish with a skull-sundering haymaker, attempting to smash Oswald -right- back into those vital supply crates filled with blankets, pillows, and hypodermic needles. "BUT YOU AIN'T NO LUCY, AND YOU GOT NO FOOTBALL."


COMBATSYS: Oswald fails to counter Raging Beast from Marduk with King.
~ Cruel hit! ~

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Oswald           1/-------/=======|==-----\-------\0           Marduk

The card finds its mark, but it does little to stop or even slow Marduk. Whoever gave Oswald the report and said there were no threats he would have to worry about is probably going to get a few choice words from the assassin or perhaps being one of the few lucky individuals Oswald decides to kill for free.

He doesn't even get time to get to his feet before Marduk is upon him. A flick of the wrist brings a card to hand, but he never has a chance to use it as a powerful punch throws him for a loop and the following ones just further drive him back before the final one blasts him right through the crates.

Strangely he never emerges from them. It looks like there was enough force he was put through them entirely. "A shame. Would have paid you twice of what they were paying you to look aside, but they may live another day." Comes the calm voice of the assassin despite not showing himself. Things grow silent and the chaos seems to be settling as much as it can be. A total of half a dozen dead, but at least Oswald seems to be gone. The question is shall he return?

Marduk was just getting started.

"Hue hue, that's right, I get paid to FIGHT and PUNCH." Marduk bellows, as the final punch comes. He already was striding after Oswald... except. Marduk stops. He narrows his eyes, staring around the crates. He actually picks one up, looking under it, and then, inside it. Marduk's twisted smile was fading fast, turning into a slackjaw look of shock and anger. Marduk was now searching around between the tents, the heaps, the crates, the firepits. He didn't care about the victims, or even the pay that much now. He had his fight, he had the assassin fighting him. He rips at his uniform, tearing at it, pulling at it, his frustration boiling over into a rage.


"WHERE ARE YOU!" Marduk roars, slamming over some of the crates. Marduk was slamming his limbs around wildly, knocking over the supplies with his flailing. "I'M GONNA FIGHT! I GET PAID GOOD! AND FUCKER, I'M PAID TO FIGHT YOU! COME ON!" He snarls into the nothingness, and... no Oswald. Marduk smashes apart a crate, pounding it. "COME ON, FUCK WITH ME SNOOPY! AROOO! AROOOO! COME AT ME! COME AT ME FUCKER! COME SLAM ME DOWN!"


Even as an alarm is, in theory, raised; it seemed that the whole of the security force at the base camp was actively avoiding paying attention to the bellowing, ripping Marduk. "WHEN I AM THROUGH WITH YOU, YOU GONNA BE DRINKING SODA THROUGH A STRAW! YOU GONNA BE SITTING IN A DONUT! I'M GONNA BUST YOU SO BAD, YOU ARE GONNA BE CALLED BUSTER BROWN!" His chest hair flows out from his naked chest, as the towering titan hurls down the remains of his clothing. He rips out the cards in his abdomen, fresh blood coming out as his rant continues. "And- are these playing cards?" Marduk looks over the card, back to front, before hurling it away. "GOD DAMN!"


COMBATSYS: Marduk gathers his will.

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Oswald           1/-------/=======|======-\-------\0           Marduk

No response comes. The assassin perhaps really has moved on or is takings his time. The rage builds in Marduk and the fight he wanted looks like it is being denied. The survivors are in a panic trying to see who is left and preparing themselves for another attack just in case. Marduk is given wide berth as well since there are enough problems to deal with and no one wants to be caught in the irate man's path.

For Oswald there is no reason to give the man his fight. He wasn't paid to take on Marduk and he doesn't feel obligated to finish the mission due to the reports being incorrect. A renegotiation of price is in order if they truly wish to have Oswald to proceed.

Loud and annoying he may be, but it seems those that survived owe their lives to Marduk this day. If not for him six deaths would have turned into dozens more and camp would have been a massacre.

A cold comfort to Marduk.

The brawler was howling, unaware of his own heroism. He wanted to fight. He wanted to make him HURT. And yet, no one was there. There was no audience. No victim. Nothing but scared and serious professionals. Marduk's rage calms down only a mite, as he stares into the panic. Clouds of precipitation boil from his mouth, as he breathes hard. He... he is at a loss of words for a moment. He is trying to understand these emotions in his heart. And finally, he musters out a half-whispered response. "You pussy." Marduk rumbles.


"You are fucking BLUE BALLING ME!" The wrestler snarls out to what he imagines is Oswald. He grabs a crate, and rips it apart in his hands. "GRAAAAGH! GRAAAAGH! PUSSY PUSSY PUSSY!" Hurling away the remains of the crate, he thrusts a finger at a tent. "But I won't forget this, oh man, Marduk has a memory like a FUCKING ELEPHANT! I GOT HUNDREDS OF IQS, and single one is gonna be directed straight at you, card man. I'm gonna find you. I got your SCENT!" He makes a snorting, snuffing sound. "I got your TRAIL!. And When I find you again, fucker?" Marduk slams his hands together, snarling furiously.

"I'm going to make you regret EVER fucking with me."

COMBATSYS: Marduk has left the fight here.

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Oswald           1/-------/=======|

COMBATSYS: Oswald has ended the fight here.

Log created on 17:22:45 03/13/2018 by Oswald, and last modified on 14:22:00 03/15/2018.