Lee Chaolan - The Great Escape

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Description: After their daring escape from the clutches of Yoshiaki, Miguel and Crazy Zhin's nephew hit the road. But not to simply go on a serious of adventures across Japan, solving mysteries and busting criminals. No, they had only one criminal they were after: Crazy Zhin's nephew uncle, Crazy Zhin.

You know, Crazy Zhin's life wasn't so bad.

You'd think, with the last time we saw Crazy Zhin, he was in a shoot-out with the feds over tax evasion, that Crazy Zhin might have had a bad end. A dark hole, for dark holes. The darkest, deepest pit, for the worst human beings known to man. The crimes hung over Crazy Zhin's head, the fraud, the destruction, the crime. Crazy Zhin was doomed for oblivion.

But it wasn't so bad.

Crazy Zhin himself hangs around the edge of the perimeter fencing for Yokohama Prison. The inside of it, not the outside. The Chinese man wasn't having a tough time on the exercise grounds. Because he was very good at getting goods. And the goods he was getting? They were good. The best goods. The goodest goods that ever gooded. The other tattoo'd criminals were lurking around Crazy Zhin, waiting in a loose line. And why?

Because Crazy Zhin has the CRAZIEST bargains.
%"I get you good cigarettes!" The balding chinese man blurts out, twirling his long mustache. His eyes dart from person to person, eager to bargain. "Top quality discount cigarettes! You get Crazy Zhin pretty lady boy in cellblock C, and you get whole pack of high quality discount cigarettes! Crazy Zhin is Crazy!" He waggles his hairy eyebrows. It wasn't so bad.

Nothing would be so bad.

Things for Miguel, were kinda bad.

The tall manly Spaniard was finally free from Lee Chaolan. Lee's plan of humiliating Miguel by being a doll of Yoshiaki backfired and allowed Miguel's daring escape, along with letting him free another prisoner of Hitbitt. Miguel's new fried had an Uncle that was somehow in jail thanks to Lee. Working together the pair broke free of Yoshiaki's weird smelling and sticky clutches, then drove off in his own sports car.

As the pair currently stood, they were stuck on the side of the road, somewhere in the mountains, on the way to Yokohama Prison. They had run out of cash, gas, and only had 3 cups of ramen left. They were still stuck in the uniforms Yoshiaki dressed them up in, and sleep deprived due to the packs of wild dogs that roamed the area at night.

The spare jug of fuel they brought was currently on the other side of a ravine, and the seemingly reasonable idea of just waiting for another car had begun to be regrettable. Miguel sat on the ground, in a daze. He stared out at the jug that had been hanging on a branch ever since the incident with the stray poodle. After having an idea strike his mind, the Spaniard knew just what to do. He turned to his compatriot and told him.

"Hey! I got an idea to get the gas. All I have to do is throw you at it!"

And things for Crazy Zhin's nephew?

The absolute worst.

The weedy, filthy young man was sticking with Miguel through thick and thin. Mostly because, well, he had to save his uncle. And how was that coming along? Well, they were out of cash. They were in the mountains. They were starving, thirsty, and exhausted. Crazy Zhin's nephew's original outfit was in tatters, and he was forced to use whatever clothing he found in the car they left behind. And believe me, it wasn't useful in this kind of climate. And yet, he wasn't giving up. He wasn't backing down. Not even when that incident with the stray poodle poodled him. He just looks up at that jug, sniffles slightly, and looks to Miguel.

"Do you have to?" He says, adjusting the hem of the skirt on his miko uniform.

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle"

Miguel carefully lifted up nephew's light and slightly emancipated frame. He tied the improvised nylon rope around him. "Okay, he's the plan. I'll toss you across, you'll grab the fuel, and then I can pull you back across. Got it?"

With that, Miguel pulled back his arms as he got ready to throw. The sides of his vision were blurry, and he could almost hear barking. The Spaniard brushed it off as the hunger and sleep deprivation playing tricks on his brain. So he tossed the boy dressed as a miko across the ravine, hoping that he tied and measured the nylons right.

Crazy Zhin's nephew was actually quite light to lift up. You would imagine, with the billowy skirt and miko top that just barely exposed his armpits, that he might be weighed down by the clothing. But instead, it was as if you were lifting up a tiny sparrow. Crazy Zhin's nephew is raised in the air, sweating just like Yoshiaki did inside the same outfit. But fortunately, his arms are free and breezy, not staining the outfit with nervous sweat. There is a whistling sound as he is hurled, hurled across the ravine.

And he keeps going.

Sailing over the trees, he overshoots the gas can. "AAAAAAH!" He cries out, as he goes higher and higher. The rope swirls around him, the excess nylon stockings found inside the car, tied together in a chain, continues to whip around as he keeps going, and going. Crazy Zhin's nephew flies out of sight, somewhere beyond the ravine, the tree, the trees. And then, out of sight of Miguel, he flies over a fence, barely nicking the rolls of razor wire of the top. And there, like a delicate sparrow, he fall face first into the asphalt.

Landing right by his uncle.


Crazy Zhin looks down at the boy. The alluringly niche dressed Crazy Zhin's nephew looks up, still tied to the nylon rope. He looks at the tattoo'd prisoners, and then Crazy Zhin.


Welp, Miguel overshot it.

He did think he should have remember that his partner was not the same weight as Lee, but it was all good. All he had to do was pull him back. Miguel just pulled back on the stocking rope. While the terrain was known for the unexploded shells, one single person being dragged across them wouldn't cause any troubles.

The barking of the dogs was even going away. It sounded like they were heading towards pimple face, but probably just imagination.

The dog's would probably trip on a shell or something.

"Uncle! We've come to-"

And the nylon rope suddenly goes taut.

"AAAAAAGH" Was the cry from Crazy Zhin's nephew as he is jerked backwards. Hitting the chain-link fence, he is pulled over. Screaming, he turns around, narrowly slipping through the razor wire with only scratches on his exposed skin. As he is dragged over the open field, he fortunately avoids being blown apart by the undetonated ordinances, only finding his way on the already exploded shrapnel in the field. As he is dragged into the brush, the yowling of dogs is heard, followed by screaming. Crazy Zhin, staring at this display, turns back to the tattoo'd prisoners.

"So about handsome lady boy, I give seven!"

Crazy Zhin's nephew eventually emerges from the brush, several feral shin tzus nipping and barking at his exposed flesh, leaving the outfit untarnished. He passes under the tree, and the dogs release him. Any moment of respite ends as Crazy Zhin's nephew falls right into the ravine, screaming as he falls. He is still screaming as he is pulled up from the ravine, right back to where he began. Bloodied, frightened, but with Miguel. The nephew peers from his glasses, adjusting them. "Miguel! I missed the gas can, but..."

"My uncle is right past those trees!"

Miguel pulled back his friend to see a blood stained miko covered in dog bites. He was in much better condition than he had expected. After hearing the great news that they didn't need to get waste gas to get Zhin out, Miguel picked up pimple face.

"That's great, now this time I can get you over the fence!"

Miguel swung back, and tossed his buddy once again with twice the power. He was growing tired, but they could rest once join someone who could not get taken down by a particularly large chihuahua.

"What- no I went over the fence last-"

And Crazy Zhin's nephew goes flying.

Sailing well over the trees, Crazy Zhin's nephew flies over his father, over the prison fence. He continues to fly with the throw. And the nylon legging rope begins to stretch as he smashes through a window. The nephew crashes into the desk of a grim-faced Japanese prison warden, knocking over a house of cards as he blasts through. The nephew looks up at the man, and tries very hard to smile.

And then he rips back away.

For reasons not fully understood by physics, Crazy Zhin's nephew hits the ground first, and then back into the air as he zooms over his uncle, right for the razor wire. Once again, he defies fate as he only gets cut up in places where his skin is exposed, his clothing being safe from the cutting wire. He tears through the air, hitting the tree branches noisily. He pulls through the trees until finally, the momentum slows down... and he lands on the branch with the gas can on it. Grabbing the jug of fuel instinctively, his head spins around. He blinks a bit, adjusting his glasses. "Miguel!" He calls across the ravine. "I have the can, but..."

"You throw me too hard!"

Without even pulling on the stockings, pimple face sprung back. After catching nephew and taking the can from him, Miguel listened to his tiny words. Wordlessly, Miguel swung back while nephew was still talking. This time he would try to be a little lighter.

"I'll pay 15 for my Miko-Chan! She will be mine!" shouted an overweight prisoner in his late 30's who was plagued by acne. His multiple chins jiggled when he shouted it, and his great gut trembled as he walked out from the large and demanding crowd that was fighting to purchase the prime posterior from Crazy Zhin.


Crazy Zhin's expression was squinting, the most serious of expressions. "You bought last Miko-Chan! Not my fault it was eaten by roommate! Not my fault that she was filled with popcorn! You have no more Miko chan!" Crazy Zhin shakes his arms, palms open.

And in it, lands Crazy Zhin's nephew.

The chinese man holds his miko-clad nephew, staring at him bugged eye as he lands on his bottom. Sitting down, with the miko nephew on his lap, he focuses on him. "Nephew?" He asks, aloud. "Why are you here? Why are you maid?" The pimply-faced teenager looks up, blinking his eyes. "Uncle! We have come to-"

"You have come to help me get more cigarettes!"

Crazy Zhin lifts his nephew up as they both come to a stand. He looks to the crowd, holding his nephew. "I give auction on new improved Miko-Chan! I promise double price for starting bid! 30 cigarettes!" THe nephew starts to go wide-eyed.

NErvously adjusting the hem of his skirt, as the prisoners lick their lips.

The crowd of prisoners began to go into a small scale riot. They were raising their fists filled with cigarettes, or throwing them at others who had them. The large rabble came to a close when the ground shook. From the mob rose the fat man who was sitting on 2 smaller prisoners. The crusher in question was Yosuke. He was once a self employed artist who made his living providing various kinds of "artwork". After a Definitely false claim of stalking and voyeurism, he ended up in jail. Thanks to the demand of his artwork, he was able to afford a lot of computer time, he even gt to remain in touch with his Lightning Spangles role-play group.

"I'll offer you 50 cigarettes and a 'pen' for that nice new Miko-Chan."

He stood up and waddled to crazy Zhin. "do we have a deal Zhin?"

This wasn't happening.

Crazy Zhin's nephew stares at the man was his own Uncle was ready to sell him out to. He didn't know why, but he could feel him undressing him. And worse, he could that he had different parts than he actually had. He could imagine something involving a hoedown dillo, and he didn't know what a hoedown dillo. That was dillo, right? A cold sweat breaks out on Crazy Zhin's nephew. Shaking, he looks back up to his uncle. "U-u-uncle?!" He whimpers.

And Crazy Zhin embraces his nephew.

"Ah, Nephew." Crazy Zhin pat, pat, pats his nephew on the back firmly, nodding his head. "Just remember. Your uncle will always love you for your help." Still holding his nephew, he nods at the man. "You have deal. Do not mess up costume. Costume has high value."

Crazy Zhin's nephew makes a high pitched squeaking sound.

"Now come to your Sempai"

Yusuke reached in to grab his purchase. His smell, had disturbing implications. His mouth went wide, and he showed his grey teeth. He grabbed onto his new Miko-chan while it was still holding his uncle.

"We're gonna have a good time Miko-chan, I even have cowboy hat ready, all you have to do is-"

The rest of his sentence was cut off when the three of them were pulled away by the stocking rope that was skilled tied around nephew. They were slowly dragged up the fence at first, then viciously yanked away as Miguel strained to pull the weight.

Yosuke could have let go of his new treasure, but his hands were far too sticky at the time.

For a moment, Crazy Zhin's nephew accepted this.

He could tolerate this. He was dressed as a meido. With a cowboy hat, he could be Meido Spangles. Yes. This was his reality. This was how he would protect and help his uncle. This was acceptable. This was his future. This was his past. This was his present. Crazy Zhin's nephew struggles to keep the tears back, as Yusukes get his grip in the group hug.

And suddenly, he is jerked.

Not in that way either.

Crazy Zhin, Yusuke, and Crazy Zhin's Nephew all take to the air. For a moment, there is peace. When the razor wire comes, it is not the nephew who is dragged over. It is not even Crazy Zhin himself. No, it is Yusuke who is torn through the sharp wires. Over the fencing, with the sticky Yusuke as a buffer, the man groans as they hit the ground... with Crazy Zhin's nephew taking the bottom. Pinned under the girth of Yusuke, the trio is dragged over shell and poodle as they are ripped through the same path as before. The prison alarms, finally, go off at the break out. From the brush, in sight for Miguel, the trio is ripped through, entangled with each other.

With some enjoying it more than others.

Miguel pulled back on the rope that had somehow quintupled in weight. He then saw the flight of nephew, the man might thought was uncle Zhin, and the bald guy. With the fat man's unnerving expression and the sounds of prison alarms, Miguel sighed. He had so many regrets at this point.

Miguel didn't really care at this point, he was too tired to care. He just started to rev up the car with it's new tank of gas. He just turned to the trio and wearily told them. "Get in."

Yosuke looked in amazement at what just happened. While he was a bit scrapped up, he had protected his face with his Miko-Chan. Scooping up his prized purchase, Yosuke waddled to the car. He hopped into the back and filled in two seats. He held nephew in close and said.

"Mmmmm, ready to leave this place and go to somewhere more 'private' Miko-chan?"

Yosuke then smelled his hair.

Everything was happening so fast.

As the trio jerks right back, they are jerked just as quickly back into the car. Already, the alarms are ringing. Already, the guards are on the move. Already, it is clear what is happening. A jailbreak. A jailbreak amongst serious white-collared criminals. And in the backseat, right between his uncle and Yosuke?

Was Crazy Zhin's nephew.

Eyes watering, he glances at the unexpected guest with the rescuing trio. As his hair is sniffed, he glances back at his uncle. The love of his life. Crazy Zhin doesn't look back. "I make good deal! Nephew, first lesson of good deals! You do not back out of good deals! That's how crazy I am!" Crazy Zhin nods firmly.

His nephew begins to sob silently as they all make their getaway.

Log created on 15:59:40 01/20/2017 by Lee Chaolan, and last modified on 16:56:46 03/15/2017.