SNF 2016.08 - SNF: Meet the Blacks

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Description: ALOYSIUS: "You know, every film enthusiast has to have at least one filthy little pleasure, and I must admit that Hoffman's considerably bawdy comedy sensibilities in this particular Ben Stiller-fermented tripe appeal to the mainstream film Neandertal in me. There was some sort of mixup for a moment--and the cowboy was going to wear some sort of tights and fly around vexingly because of some typo problem with the boy scout. I fired the people responsible for that, and now we are going to a picnic. The blaster has that sort of straight-cut military man machismo we're looking for, and I suppose you don't get closer to Hoffman's bohemian and techno-phobic laissez faire portrayal as Bernard Focker in the fight community than an honest to goodness cowboy. A fight in a giant inflatable ball pit should capture the appropriate tension for this rousing commentary on contemporary America affected by the captivatingly dressed ghost of 1960's counterculture. Did I ever tell you the story of how I met Bailey and Misha, the two cats who played Jinxy in the original? Well, it was an uncustomarily cold August afternoon..." (Winner: Erron Black)

Noise. So much noise. The world is a laughing, cackling, squealing cacophony, only found in the most hellish of landscapes.

Mickey Muscles' fun time gymnasium, High Noon.

Children laugh and shout, fighting and playing in a blur of hyperactivity that would make any self-respecting adult tired just by watching. Their undersized bodies are packed nearly elbow to elbow into the refurbished warehouse, flowing from game station to food bar as they exchange their hard won game tickets for freshly smoked turkey legs. Because, in the words of Mickey Muscles, the astoundingly ripped super mouse, they should 'Eat lean, go green, and be a hero!'

Whatever the hell that means.

Against a backdrop of such youth and vigor, the rugged, dusty form of Outworld's only cowboy seems practically fossilized. Having strolled through the front door as if he owned the place, strapped with weapons and sporting his mismatched bits of leather and metal armor, the wasteland survivor has begun to attract a crowd. Apparently, both the security and the children think he's some sort of costumed sidekick of Mickey's. Could he maybe be a new character in the Lightning Spangles line? A bad guy? Her father?

The Internet threatens to explode.

As dark blue eyes stare out over a sea of upturned faces, Erron Black's mind fills with dark thoughts of revenge. His hard gaze tracks across the warehouse full of games and tables. Over the cameras, some hidden, some blatant, and onto the colorful acre of light plastic balls set into the center.

The truly massive ball pit is ringed by a cheerful yellow and red safety rail that runs around its outside edge. Six feet deep near the center, and only 3 at the sides, the monstrous play area is spotted with tall rubber-padded climbing areas and fun tunnels.

It is a place of childish joy.

Grabbing a small hand in his, the un amused mercenary pushes a child away from one of his revolvers and begins to stalk forward. His target? The pit of balls, where the paper said he would meet his contact for the Black Dragon. He has to check, he has to make sure.

But he knows. He knows that he has been had. And Kano, that backstabbing Australian dog, is going to get what is coming to him. He thinks this is funny?

Erron's dark eyes gleam with hostile intent, posture flexed and alert as he wades through the children, mind full of murder.

This isn't funny.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn has started a fight here.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Erron Black has joined the fight here.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0      Erron Black

Zach Glenn had not known what to make of things either. He had just gotten his plane ticket to the Himalayas when the call came in. Something about a potential Darkstalker making the Fun Time Gym a feeding grounds. Something that would, perhaps, if it wasn't a wild goose chase, be stalking and feeding on /children/. In the end, it wasn't much of a choice at all. Zach pretty much /had/ to go.

The psion makes his way to the front door, easing his way in when the wave of bloodlust coming off of Erron Black all but knocks him off of his feet. Holy /hell/, Zach thinks. That... that's a lot of murderous intent. In a bloody crows-begotten /playground/.

No time for subtle. No time for putzing around. Zach's right hand drops to his side even as he raises his left, ring and pinky fingers curled with the index and middle fingers straight. The body language behind the gesture might remind one of a man readying a pistol. A slash of sunlight erupts in Zach's right hand as the claymore Drynwyn slips into existence in the hunter's waiting hand.

A breath to steady himself, and Zach boots the doors open, striding through with intent in order to get someone's attention. A quick scan of the room, both visually and mentally, gives Zach his target. Glenn points the 'gun' hand at Erron's head and looses a swift bolt of psionic energy!

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn successfully hits Erron Black with Quick Shot.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/------=|===----\-------\0      Erron Black

Stepping up to the edge of the ball pit, Erron rests one scarred hand on the rails as he leans out over the lake of light plastics, coal-smudged eyes narrowing as he scans a purple horizontal tunnel.

Damn it.

Having confirmed that there is no meet, and this entire business was one giant joke meant to make a fool of him, the merc begins to straighten, to turn and exit this child-filled hell.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickle a fraction of a second before he catches a golden flash from the corner of his eye. Lifting his left bracer, he throws it over the back of his neck, shielding it from potential damage even as his right hand shifts into a blur, too fast for the eye to follow.

Zach's psychic strike hits Black squarely between the shoulder blades, tossing him forward in an unbalanced stagger. Unfortunately, with the rail before him and both hands busy, there is no way to arrest his momentum. The cowboy hits the rail and tumbles over, turning it into a controlled roll as he vanishes from sight with a splash of colorful plastic.

As children laugh and clap, convinced that this is just another part of the show, the surface of the ball lake falls still.

A moment, then two stretch past as the presence beneath the lake seethes with rage, gathering itself and planning its next move.

The balls explode outward in all directions as Erron launches himself free of the pit, effortlessly vaulting the rail to land with both boots firmly planted on the floor. In his right hand is a heavy, much worn revolver with a glossy wooden grip, his scarred hand spread comfortably across the weapon and his thumb on the uncocked hammer.

"Don't know if your brave or foolish," Erron murmurs, his deep dusty drawl nearly swallowed by the cheering children, "But your about to be a corpse." Beneath the brim of his hat, the mercenary's shadowed eyes fix coldly upon Zach. In a fraction of a second they take in his posture, his clothing, and the sword in his hand.

He seems unimpressed.

Charging forward, the muscular cowboy aims a quick, feinting strike with his empty fist before the butt of his right gun comes swinging across in a heavy strike aimed for Zach's cheekbone. Pushing ever forward, the merc then drops low in an attempt to swipe the barrel of his pistol around and club the side of Zach's left knee, lunging up with a shoulder to his chest in an attempt to put the lighter man flat on his back.

And if they find themselves in this position, Black looming above Zach as he lies on his back, the cowboy will meet his opponent's eyes cooly and click back the hammer of his pistol, before shifting the barrel down and firing a single shot point blank at the unfortunate man's gut.

It is a killing shot.


COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn blocks Erron Black's Above Snakes EX.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0      Erron Black

A lot of people don't find Zach impressive until thingsgo sideways and the energy blasts start flying. It's not even a thing to Zach.

Zach parries the first fist, catches the first pistolwhip on his forearm. He then lifts his left leg, turning it a little to catch the barrel of the pistol on the meat of his calf as opposed to his shin or knee. This leaves Zach unbalanced, allowing Erron to put Zach on the floor. His eyes go wide as the gun comes up. Zach rolls out of the way quickly, sword still in hand and starting to flare with golden flames.

The 'gun hand' gesture comes back up and tracks Erron Black carefully. "Maybe two out of three," Zach admits as he eyes the gunslinger carefully, wishing he had brought his own pistols. Gun control laws are kind of twitchy about bringing firearms to places like this, though, and he didn't want to chance it.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn focuses on his next action.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0      Erron Black

The heavy .45 caliber revolver goes off with a loud 'BANG,' its ear-splitting noise accompanied by a puff of cement dust and carpet fibers as a heavy bullet thuds into the floor where Zach had been just moments before. The loud noise and flash of smoky fire shocks every child in the room to silence, eyes of kids and parents alike going wide as the truth dawns on them nearly simultaneously.

That man has a gun. A REAL gun.

A couple of kids begin to cry, parents clutching them tightly as the reality of their situation sinks in. This is not fun. This is not a game. This is serious, and they are all in very real danger.

"You picked the wrong day to start somethin'." Black replies with callous calm, the barrel of his gun tracking up and over Zach's head as he flicks his eyes aside to meet the psychic's gaze in profile. The mask covering the lower half of his features hides any expression he might have, but there is a sense of dry amusement in his tone that is not at all mirrored in his thoughts. His mind is cold and calculating, snake-like and dark.

"Nice trick." The merc continues as he slides the fingers of his left hand casually beneath his belt, fishing free three crude silver coins. Just briefly can be seen flashes of a skull-faced man before the coins are flipped into the air, spreading out and sailing past Zach as they flash and glitter in the overhead light.

Is it a distraction? His mind gives away nothing. Nothing but focus, concentration, and deadly intent.

The barrel of Black's pistol jerks suddenly. Flashing around, the weapon discharges three times in lightning quick succession, smoke and fire belching from the tip as the bullets zip toward Zach....

And pass him.

Faster than the mind can comprehend, the bits of metal each collide with a glittering silver coin. The silver pieces dent and pop away from the impact, their rotations halted as the bullets spark off in new directions. One descends upon Zach from above and behind his right shoulder, another flashes down from his left in an attempt to strike his upraised gun arm, and the third zips in low, attempting to strike him in the right thigh.

The entire ordeal having taken only a frozen moment in time, the mercenary finishes the maneuver with a flourish of his revolver, the gun beginning to twirl effortlessly around his fingers.

COMBATSYS: Erron Black successfully hits Zach Glenn with Money Shot.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0      Erron Black

Bullets tear into Zach's flesh, illicting a roar of pain. A calmer part of his his mind notes that the wounds (at this point) are far more annoying than fatal. It also notes that the guy reflect three bullets off of three coins. That's... beyond impressive. And still Zach cannot read /anything/ off of the guy, aside from anger and the focus he needed to pull of those trick shots. But this man still made with the gun.

Zach's eyes narrow. Screw it. Take him down, /now/. Questions can come after that.

Glenn charges, drawing in close to Erron as he brings Drywyn around in a scything arc with psychic flames wreathing the sword!

COMBATSYS: Erron Black dodges Zach Glenn's Medium Strike.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0      Erron Black

Within Black's mind there is a certain grim satisfaction at the conclusion of his shots. Even a cold man such as he must have pride, and it is there. Whether or not it is exploitable is another matter.

All around the dueling men, children and parents remain wide eyed and slack jawed. Even if the gun is real, and the blood is real, the spectacle before them is something straight out of a movie, or pay per view fight. A man with a flaming sword fighting a real live gunslinger. It is hard to look away.

Stepping in toward Zach's sudden charge, Erron ducks beneath the opening swing and pivots around behind him. Light on his feet despite his brawler's build, the cowboy then attempts to capitalize on the psychic's forward momentum by snagging the lighter man's right shin with his ankle and jerking at it, leaping forward and up in an attempt to slam his left knee into Zach's back and ride him face-down into the floor.

If the merc can get the X marine caught beneath him, he will snag his still spinning revolver by the barrel and swing the handle down hard into the back of Zach's skull, bouncing his head violently off of the floor before rolling aside and springing deftly to his feet with a quiet clatter of equipment.

COMBATSYS: Erron Black successfully hits Zach Glenn with Wrangler.

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Zach Glenn       1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0      Erron Black

Zach slams to the floor, grunting in pain before the pistolwhip strikes home. Zach's vision swims as the attack dazes him for a moment. But only for a moment. Zach rolls over, not really swinging with anything. That, however, would not explain the blazing arc of psychic energy that comes screaming at Erron's face, which buys Zach time enough to get back to his feet and get a little distance.

For some reason, the gunfighter is /way/ to good at the in-fighting, Zach considers as the flames surrounding the ancient blade flicker and die without warning. A sign of the fighter weakening, or perhaps something else entirely?

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn successfully hits Erron Black with Swift Blade.

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Zach Glenn       1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1      Erron Black

The Outworld cowboy begins to throw himself backward as a brilliant blade of light slices up from beneath him, but it seems that, for the second time, Zach has managed to catch him off guard. The golden blade of light passes through chest and face armor alike, causing a blast of searing pain to briefly short out his thought processes. Still, he keeps his feet, staggering a single step before he regains his balance, and his sense of self.

With a flick of his wrist, he flips the revolver still clutched in his right hand by the barrel up into the air and snags the handle in two fingers,guiding it effortlessly down into his empty thigh holster. he does not even look at the weapon as he manipulates it, his dark blue eyes currently narrowed across the short distance that separates himself from his target.

It seems he didn't like that last trick.

Reaching up over his left shoulder, he grips the butt of his rifles. With a quick tug, he slips the long, lever-action weapon off of his back and settles it comfortably in both hands, still considering the man before him with cold calculation.

A soft breath gusts through the slits in his leather mask.

Then, the mercenary charges. Closing the distance with two quick steps, he allows his rifle to drop through his hands, gripping it hard by the end of the barrel so that he can swing it up from the ground in a vicious uppercut toward the left side of Zach's cleanly shaven jaw. And if that strike lands, and he can successfully knock the X marine for a loop, he will drop smoothly to one knee, one hand snagging the handle of his rifle while the other knocks it into a neat spin. cocking the rifle with a smooth 'CHK,' he will slam the stock against his shoulder and sight down the barrel, before firing a single booming shot straight for Zach's chest. Unlike the last two this one will not be a graze. if he can't protect himself with that sword, or his magic powers, the psion likely won't be getting up from this.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn blocks Erron Black's Ace High.

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Zach Glenn       1/----===/=======|=======\=------\1      Erron Black

Zach grins a bit as the energy starts to flow through his body once more. Perhaps lost in the sounds of the fight, or the crowd, there are a trio of 'tink'ing sounds as the three rounds Erron put into Zach earlier clatter to the floor as the psion regains his stance. Drynwyn sweeps low, catching the uppercut swing. The sword comes free from his left hand from the momentum of the blocking motion as Zach watches the rifle comes up to chest level.

Zach's grin is still firmly in place as he thrusts the open hand forward as the rifle fires. The smoke clears to first reveal Zach's closed fist, then Zach's almost /feral/ grin as he opens the hand to drop the deformed bullet to the floor. He shakes it once, a droplet or two of blood flying free of the point of impact as the hand rises to regain his grip.

The sword comes down, the air shimmering around the blade before re-lighting with that psychic flame that vanishes after the strike is completed!

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn successfully hits Erron Black with Explosive Strike.

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Zach Glenn       1/---====/=======|=======\======-\1      Erron Black

There is only a flash, a second in which the two men can gaze into each other's faces, Zach smiling, and Erron expressionless. Then the bloody bullet is dropped, falling through the air, and a wave of psychic energy is crashing down upon the cold-eyed cowboy.

Stumbling back, half blinded with pain, Black trips over his heals and begins to fall. But even as he tips over backward his rifle swings into line and he sights down its length.






The battered old rifle belches fire in quick succession, the mercenary's hands working the weapon with deft precision. It is difficult to believe that such a clunky old gun can be fired so quickly, for it is only after the third shot has been fired that the cowboy's back hits the ground, and he rolls away to the side, his smoking rifle being slung over his shoulder and slid once more into the leather tube on his back.

All around them, the crowd has broken from its stooper and begun to swarm toward the exits. Mickey Muscles security guards stand at each door, ready to slam them and lock the crazed fighters in with one another while the authorities are called.

it seems someone at SNF dropped the ball on their paperwork.

COMBATSYS: Erron Black successfully hits Zach Glenn with Deal In Lead.

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Zach Glenn       1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0      Erron Black

The sword is already spinning when the first shot flies. Adrenaline, reflex, and luck combine to catch the first round on the blade. Sparks fly as the first round disintegrates into fine powder. The second swing is too slow, catching the psion in the shoulder and forcing him back. The third round slams into Zach's chest, driving him back and over the railing into the ball pit. Zach stays down for a moment, gasping with the pain of the strikes.

Seconds pass, and Zach emerges from the mass of plastic spheres, glaring daggers at Erron, watching the gunman's next move. This will likely end things one way or the other.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn gains composure.

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Zach Glenn       1/-----==/=======|======-\-------\0      Erron Black

A quiet, sighing grunt escapes the cowboy as he levers himself half way to his feet, left boot planted and right knee braced on the floor.

While Zach gathers himself in the pit, the Outworld cowboy draws his revolver, pops the cylinder open with his thumb, and spills four spent casings into his roughened palm. With a deftness born from decades of kombat, the gunslinger lifts the silvery tubes to the leather band tied about his bare right bicep and slides them away. Then, with quick, efficient movements, he plucks three fresh rounds from his belt and one from the band around the brim of his hat, and slots each into the empty chambers of his revolver.

Zach is just climbing free from the sea of balls when Erron snaps his wrist, causing the cylinder to pop back into his revolver with a mechanical 'click.' A quick swipe of his thumb sends the cylinder rotating with a buzzing 'Chzzzzzzzzzz' that ends abruptly when he thumbs back the hammer and aims it at Zach from his kneeling position.

Cold blue eyes meet Zach's across the distance, the gun between them primed and ready to fire.

"Got a bullet with your name on it." Black states simply, deep voice dry and flat.

Then he fires.


If time could slow, it would show the gleaming bullet escaping the end of the pistol barrel in a blast of smoke and flames. Glittering in the bright light of the play house, the single shot carves a straight line through the air, rotating until letters can be seen etched into its side.


Unless the psion can stop it, the bullet will then slam into his left hip bone, carving through skin and muscle as it deflects upward, passing beneath his arm and striking the front of his left shoulder. From there it will bounce from the bone with another spray of blood, tearing itself free and zipping upward to spend the remainder of its depleted force squarely into his jaw.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn blocks Erron Black's Trick Shot EX.

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Zach Glenn       1/---====/=======|=------\-------\0      Erron Black

Zach is already moving when Erron fires, the sword deflecting the bullet enough that that horrible tumble does not happen, instead slamming into a rib and bouncing off of his ribcage and tearing away an impressive lump of flesh from the psion's flank. The sword is flipped into the former Marine's left hand has Zach chambers a right straight as he closes in.

Zach leaps clear of the ball pit and lands heavily at Erron's feet in a low crouch; the blood loss and pain taking their toll on the monster hunter for a moment. But it is only a moment as Zach unloads a massive corkscrew right straight directly at Erron Black's heart. Perhaps the man out of time will have his time stopped now!

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn successfully hits Erron Black with Raging Dragon EX.

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-----==|======-\-------\0      Erron Black

Stuck in a crouch himself, Erron shifts, attempting to sweep his revolver down and smash the oncoming blow to one side. However, it is too little, too late. The massive punch hammers past his hasty guard and strikes him in the chest, driving home even through the thick plates of leather he wears to protect himself. The force of the punch rocks him back, threatening to spill him once more to the ground.

However, there is more than meets the eye to this wasteland cowboy, even to one with senses such as Zach's. In this close, nearly face to face, the mercenary's left hand drops briefly out of sight. And as it comes back up, and he straightens from being punched in the chest, he swings it up and forward, fingers snapping open as he attempts to release a cloud of sand directly into Zach's eyes and mouth.

Capitalizing on the brief distraction, Black brings the butt of his revolver smashing down through the sandy haze toward Zach's forehead, even as he attempts to shove himself once more to his feet, breaths wheezing softly behind his protective mask.

COMBATSYS: Erron Black keeps on fighting!

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-----==|=====--\-------\0      Erron Black

COMBATSYS: Erron Black successfully hits Zach Glenn with Dirty Move.
- Power hit! -

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Zach Glenn       0/-------/-======|======-\-------\0      Erron Black

Zach doesn't move swiftly enough; the distraction is enough when combined with the wounds that are not closing fast enough to keep Zach on his feet. He wobbles as he staggers away from Erron, sweeping that claymore once in front of him as he loses his balance.

A swath of psychic fire lashes out at Erron even as Zach falls to the ground, bleeding on the floor.

COMBATSYS: Zach Glenn can no longer fight.

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Erron Black      0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: Erron Black parries Zach Glenn's Caladbolg EX!

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Erron Black      0/-------/=======|

A bit unsteady on his own feet, Erron does the only sure thing he can when faced by an approaching sheet of flame.

He flops over.

Hitting the ground hard, the mercenary rolls beneath the flames, kipping sloppily up with the muffled thud of boots on plush carpet. This puts him directly beside the fallen form of Zach, who he steps forward to loom over, left boot descending to trap the psychic warrior's oversized sword against the ground.

"Next time you get the bright idea to bushwhack me." Erron murmurs down to the man, the hole at the end of his revolver looming cavernously large in the bloody man's vision, "Don't." There is still a note of dry humor, an almost sardonic twist of his lips toward death himself. But in his mind, the mercenary's thoughts are crystal clear. He will give the psion a pass, just this once. He isn't sure if he is in on the joke, or if he has something to do with all the cameras scattered throughout this building, but executing someone where everyone can see it on those infernal TV boxes of theirs? That is likely not part of Kotal's plan. Just being seen fighting could cause trouble.

No, best to let this one go with a warning.

The hammer of his revolver clicks as Erron lets it down gently, stepping wearily away from his opponent.

As the sounds of sirens sound faintly in the distance, Black paces across the now empty room toward the food vending stands.

First thing's first. He wants a god damn turkey leg, a lemonade, and whatever cash is in the register. Then he'll make his escape. Metro PD has nothing on Outworld's only cowboy.

COMBATSYS: Erron Black is willing to talk.

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Erron Black      0/-------/=======|

COMBATSYS: Erron Black has ended the fight here.

Log created on 20:50:34 08/21/2016 by Zach Glenn, and last modified on 12:21:30 08/22/2016.