SNF 2016.08 - SNF: Baking Bad

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Description: ALOYSIUS: "While I'm not normally fond of Jon Favreau's ham-handed CGI vehicles sitting at the same table as Hoffman's vast and poignant ensemble, it turns out one of the few of Favreau's films that wasn't a love letter to famed CGI company Legacy Effects also turned out to be an excellent criticism of the big film studios. Not that this.. Mr. Burr person (Finn, find out his first name!) is quite so forthcoming about his actual job, but he's probably as close to a chef as we have. A lot of fighting organizations out there focus on points and cages and ladders and other droll meanderings, as Hoffman so aptly represented in his role for this movie. I've decided to mothball the 'fight on a food truck' angle that my contemporaries have been clamoring for, and we will focus on an upscale California restaurant, to reenact the pivotal moment for character lead Favreau in a new context. For this, the organizers will reward every signature technique used. We will reward creativity and personal expression, encouraging our competitors to cook their own menu, full of those greasy little moves that everyone loves so much." <Winner: Jira>

Outside of a quaint little californian restraunt, camera crews scurry around doing their final checks. Floating drones, equipped to get angles from above and the sides dynamicly, buzz around as their operators do last minute checks of their systems. Folks are cleared from the streets and traffic stopped for the impending battle to come.....

Within this, the unflappable Mr.Burr stands tall. His suit is pressed, his tie perfectly knotted, his hat at a jaunty tilt, and cane polished to a nice pretty wood shine! He knows a little about his opponent, but in general it doesn't matter. Originally it was ment to be a battle upon a moving vehicle, but alas, this idea was scrapped last minute, so he will have to do! He casually watches those inside the restraunt, smiling evenly as they watch him in return in curiosity, or excitement if they know who he and his opponent are.

He may be able to make some sales later in this fine establishment! Time will tell..... for now, he merely stands at his mark, ready to begin when the timer-drone appears to indicate

The ever wardrobe-challenged Jira arrives.. a little bit later. The switch in scenery from a moving vehicle to a restaurant had inspired the necessity to dress up rather than her usual street clothes. A red qipao, ending just below her knees and leaving her arms exposed with lack of sleeves. White boots clunk on the ground as she makes her way to the scene with a broad overhead wave to announce her presence at last.
Striking a calm and centered posture she inclines her head to greet Burr but not without double, no, triple-taking. A brief expression of confusion twists her features that is swept away as suddenly as its arrival. "Hello." she chimes warmly, "I apologise for my tardiness, preparing my wardrobe after the scenery's shift took a little time." an apologetic bow is given. "I'll wake up 'bara-kun now if that is alright." her warm expression remains, a friendly tone given to her soon-to-be opponent.

Jiras response is a dismissive shake of Burrs hand "Oh, quite allright, my dear. One must look their best, after all!". With a tip of his hat, he gives a half-bow "I am ready whenever you are, m'lady". He gives her an almost predatory grin, placing his hat back upon his head.

Jira gives a small nod in response. Straightening up her posture and spending just a moment of looking vacant. Vacancy is flushed out by a rippling of muscle that pronounces itself under the skin of her revealed arms and legs, filling out the qipao a bit more, and adding a few centimeters of height to her stance. Pink irises turn white, and she nods.
"Let's fight, then. Time to give the people what they're after." and speaking alongside Jira's usual voice is a gruffer, masculine analogue that enunciates in unison with her own. Both of her arms raise slightly from her sides, forty-five degree angles formed with fingers curled naturally, relaxed.

COMBATSYS: Jira has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Jira             0/-------/-------|

Hhhmmm..... Interesting!

Burr steps up, standing with his shoulders back, cane planted firmly on the ground before him, each hand resting atop it "Indeed. I shall endevor to make this.... interesting". Whatever that means. Burr has strange notions of 'interesting', after all.

With a quick snap of his wrist, he brings his cane up, aiming to knock Jira under the chin with the plated head. Following this, he swings away with amused abandon attempting to cause all the damage he can!

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Jira

COMBATSYS: Jira blocks Mr.Burr's Spare the Rod.

[ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0             Jira

The response to Burr's call to make things interesting is met with a transient smirk, fading as the cane is brought up and her forearm is brought up to intercept it. Catching the strike and making a half step back to swat away those hits with her arms to prevent getting smacked around. A quick pivot makes her spin on the spot, raising up her left leg high, swinging her heel through the air with a sparkling gleam of white energy and a swish of wind in its wake. The aim is, of course, one of or on level of Burr's eyes with the broad and forceful sweep- making the reason of the double slits on the sides of her qipao pronounced. It's hard to do a high kick with restraining clothes!

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr blocks Jira's Iris Kick.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-----==|=------\-------\0             Jira

The smirk is returned as Burrs arm comes up fast, blocking the kick almost cold. The shock of the impact DOES hurt, but he doesn't let it show.

He makes it look easy!

Without wasting a moment, he lifts his cane with his other hand, pointing the tip at Jiras face, and fires a bolt of green chi point-blank at her forehead, adding the line "Dodge this!", in reference to the Matrix! After all, even gentleman enjoy a good sci-fi movie now and again!

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr successfully hits Jira with Cane Beam.
- Power hit! -

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-----==|=====--\-------\0             Jira

Jira is not Neo. Nor even Trinity, so dodging a point black source of her bane is not something to be considered, time to react is not enough and a facefull of green crackles violently against her face in the wake of the blast. She staggers back with rigid posture while the green races about like flame to be snuffed after a moment with a flash of white from herself. "As full of surprises as ever." the dual voices reply.
Jira advances again, this time going on to lean in and throw a quick and average slug out to catch Burr around his upper chest, a similar white gleam glowing in the wake of this strike as with her kick previously. A simple and direct attack.

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr fails to interrupt Medium Punch from Jira with Hooked Throw.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0             Jira

Burr tips his hat to her in response, and does indeed see the move coming. Almost lazily, he puts up his cane to block, intending to hook her wrist and send her Jira flying!

Unfortunately, he fails to take into account her boostes strength, or the angle of her punch, and it hits around the block, striking his jaw and dazing him a moment. Whatever that glow is, it HURTS!

A counted blessing, Jira'd narrowly avoided the grasp of more potential bane, and her fist connected. A glow manifests in her left palm as she draws the right back and slowly takes on a round shape. The shaping is met with flashes of more and more defined white colour until the shimmering mass of energy is shoved at Burr in retaliation for that cane blast prior; white ball of fast moving pain races through the air towards the well-suited one with a faint and baleful whispering radiating from its mass.
"I suppose from here we should try and make things a bit less mundane, hm?" the dual voices ask with an amused inflection.

COMBATSYS: Jira successfully hits Mr.Burr with Orchid Breach.

[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-======|=======\-------\0             Jira

Recovering just in time to see the attack coming, Burr steps forwards into the attack, attempting to bring his arms up as he moves. His timing is off though, and it impacts him full-on in the chest, rocking him back a bit. Despite this, he keeps moving towards Jira rather quickly. As he reaches her, he spins, taking off his hat and swinging the metal-covered dapper device at her head before putting it back on his head! "As you wish, my dear!"

COMBATSYS: Jira counters Destruction Derby from Mr.Burr with Random Weapon.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////            ]
Mr.Burr          1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0             Jira

True to the intent of her previous statement, Jira's left arm subtly grips a chair to lean on as she goads Burr into advancing. The whispering haze of her prior attack must have helped either mask this small movement or made enoguh distance to time this response just right.. the chair she was leaning on is lefted up and hefted with a great amount of force to smack into Burr and shift the position of the passing hat trick, Jira angling herself to the other side of the chair between herself and aforementioned implement of destruction and giving the chair some painful memories to never forget in the process.
"A hat is a mark of distinction, not a toy to be swinging around." the dual-voices chide, stamping the chair back down onto the ground. "Again!" a curl of amusement twisting the tones and the smirk on her face.

"Oof!" is Burrs initial response as the chair impacts him. Staggering back with the impact, he repositions his hat so it will stay put "I daresay this hat is built to survive such unpleasantness, thank you very much!". That said, he goes for quick and effective, launching a hard kick right at her midsection.

COMBATSYS: Jira fails to counter Heavy Kick from Mr.Burr with Equalizer.

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Mr.Burr          1/-----==/=======|=======\=------\1             Jira

A slow enough kick, the immediate response is to bring her arms in to grab it! Timing, position, and grip are not on Jira's side as she gets a lighting up of ow to the gut, staggering back and over one of the tables even! Furniture topples over, chairlegs break, and frantic thing is spending her energy to get back onto her feet in the wake of that event. "I say you have the ability to defend its right." the two voices murmur in response once upright.

Looking around, Burr gets what HE thinks is an amusing idea.....

As Jira works herself back up, he steps over to a parked vehicle nearby, which conveniently is facing the direct Jira is located in. He smashes the window, undoes the brake, and sets it to N on the shifter, before giving the car a PUSH, sending it rolling towards the now-recovered Jira!

Hit or miss, that is likely gonna destroy the front of the building..... hilarious!

COMBATSYS: Jira reflects Large Thrown Object from Mr.Burr with Pity.

[                 \\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Mr.Burr          1/-----==/=======|=======\==-----\1             Jira

A swirling mass of white energy roils up in Jira's left hand as the restauraunt's front is endangered by runaway parked car! The irony of being hit by a parked car is not lost on Jira's subconscious, however, her guest has a response to Size matters not, a famous man once said, and to the credit of this claim, the swirling mass is ejected as the car gets close. An effort of will that ends with the rolling vehicle deciding to roll back to where it came from with terrible roaring and skidding from tires smearing on the ground and not being meant for this, even with it being in neutral!
"A refreshing turn of events!" the dual-voice shouts, "Let's keep this up."

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr overcomes Reflected Large Thrown Object from Jira with Roman Candle.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////                   ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-------|=======\==-----\1             Jira

As the car starts to reverse, Burr smirks. Not entirely unexpected given what he's seen before..... but also not unplanned for!

Lifting his cane, a large red orb of chi is shot from the tip! Right at the car, roughly where Burr believes the fuel tank is....

The car detonates in a spectatular explosion before it has gone far from Jira, enveloping her in the explosion hopefully!

COMBATSYS: Jira blocks Mr.Burr's Roman Candle.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////                     ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/-------|=======\===----\1             Jira

Jira's arms and legs pull protectively around her to help not get rocked away and torn up by shrapnel! What kind of premium grade petrol was that thing packing?! Gleaming through all of that heat and debris comes a lunging Jira! After having briefly assured she was still able to move, she took off in a fit of speed, white gleaming in the air behind her as she closes distance and makes her first move. An attempted clothesline into Burr, but not planning to stop there. If it connects, she'll carry just past him and about face, leaping with her knee out to catch his back and pivot midair to sweep another kick onto him and tumble to the ground and press another advance...

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr fails to interrupt Rampage from Jira with Crescent Arc.
- Power fail! -

[                          \\\\  < >  ///////                       ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/---====|=======\=====--\1             Jira

THIS manages to take Burr somewhat off guard. Not the fact that Jira managed to survive the blast....

The speed of her recovery!

As she runs, he quickly moves to block with his cane, intending to draw the blade within and strike her with it promptly after, but underestimates the angle, and she strikes him AGAIN around the side, the shock of the strike stunning him long enough for her to finish her attack chain, sending him flying into a table and several chairs not yet damaged in the blast a moment ago!

Jira isn't finished yet! With Burr down she reaches down to grab at his leg and give him a ginger toss upwards, rolling fists moving to get a couple hits in before gravity yanks him back down onto that pile of furniture. "Not going to be standing much longer." the pair murmur.

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr interrupts Charged Combo from Jira with Nerve Strike.
- Power hit! -

[                           \\\  < >  ////                          ]
Mr.Burr          0/-------/---====|=======\======-\1             Jira

As Jira reaches to grab Burrs legs, and begins to lift him, he stabs her in a nerve cluster of one of her armpits with his drawn sword! As this easily would render the arm temporarily useless, he manages to wiggle out of the grasp of her other hand and roll away, coming up with a smirk and sheathing his cane saber once again before adjusting his hat "Don't celebrate juuuuust yet, my dear!"

Jira's arm decides to OW SWORD NO GRAB THIS THING BAD and she makes a step back. There's a white haze gathered about her form and she looks half asleep. Her other arm and both legs begin shining brightly, a quick backflip lets loose two crescents of that white energy at Burr, catching herself on her 'good' arm and pivoting, swiping it upwards as well into a lazy tumble onto the ground with a third whining wave of energy making its way out towards Burr, though she doesn't travel too far and the crescents dissipate entirely perhaps two meters off or on contact with anything. After this is completed, it's a slow and shaky bearing to her feet. "Likewise." the dual voice murmurs, with Jira's own tune diminished below the more masculine guest's, perhaps befitting of her looking only semi-conscious.

COMBATSYS: Jira successfully hits Mr.Burr with Demonsdance.
- Power hit! -

[                                < >  ///                           ]
Mr.Burr          1/----===/=======|======-\-------\0             Jira

When Jira starts glowing in various places, Burr knows its time to get outta dodge!

He leaps backwards, the attacks juuust catching the clothes and armor covering his torso, the force of the strike sending him flying faster backwards! Grinning a moment, he takes aim, and fires another large red orb of destructive power at Jira as he goes!

It doesn't matter if it hits or misses, as it's more ment as a distraction! When the dust settles, a man-shaped indent on a wall a short distance away is found, but Burr himself has left the scene!

COMBATSYS: Mr.Burr can no longer fight.

[                           \\\  <
Jira             0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: Jira dodges Mr.Burr's Roman Candle.

[                           \\\  <
Jira             0/-------/-======|

Hardly able to stand, Jira's body is suddenly yanked to ground to avoid being facesmacked with another baneful attack, rising back up slowly to her feet and glancing around the scene to re-orient herself, with a grin. "Promise. Then and now." the deeper baritone murmurs.
Following that statement, Jira's limbs 'deflate' back to her usual slim self, eyes glowing a faint pink alongside her hair- dropping to her knees with good arm in the air. "Banzai!" the woman exclaims, with a bit of protesting sounds. "I think I need help getting up." with motions to attract the medical staff to help her up and have her looked over, maybe she'll go on to take a nap and watch the highlights later. One blown car and a few smashed table sets later, it seems the fight is over.

COMBATSYS: Jira has ended the fight here.

Log created on 22:11:26 08/18/2016 by Jira, and last modified on 01:33:46 08/22/2016.