SNF 2016.08 - SNF: The Kung Fu Tourists

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Description: ALOYSIUS: "And here we are, catering to the lowest common denominator; people who appreciate film and fighting in cartoon animal form. Still, I admit that the Kung Fu series did explore some themes and exploits that were not entirely maledict to the collected works. I suppose we can at least foist off knowledge to our young viewership and portray some of the real world locales that served as the inspiration for the sites in the film. We'll bill this as a tour of Kung Fu China. Our first trip will be out to, hmm, the Huangshan mountain region. A little culture won't kill. Oh, and look, there's a yeti on the match registrations. Get in touch with our wholesaler for the straw hats."

The sun brightly beams down on this tiny chinese town located in the Huangshan mountains. Judging by the masonry, the place had been here awhile, but it never seemed like it grew much in that time. It's midday and quite pleasant for most, with a nice wind and very few clouds in the sky. The city is bustling, with farmers and their livestock coming in for trade, the next worker looking for a job, or even the next villager wishing to have some gossip to spread.

Outside of one such small restaurant would generate quite a bit of Gossip as what appears to be a seven and a half foot polar bear woman arrives, garnering quite a bit of staring for fairly obvious reasons. Where as some might have seemed self conscious enough to cringe or be embarrassed, she simply moved, clearly uncaring about these people and their opinions. The bear woman moves in a slow but powerful gait, giving off the aura of intimidation that cause just about everyone to keep their distance.

Just as soon as she arrived to the mostly outdoor restaurant, she's directed to a table by a stammering waitress, her arrival having been phoned in about a small while ago. The bear woman sits a the wooden table by herself, finding only a photo of Erika on the table, as well as a wide brimmed sakkat. She looks over the picture for a moment before regarding the hat, her big meaty hand reaching for it and deftly snapping it in two. She tosses it aside on the floor, a look of annoyance plastering her features.

"Annoying movie."

She scans the somewhat gathered crowd for the blue girl she was here for, determined to do this thing and leave this podunk little place as soon as possible.

Erika actually hasn't watched the movie. Or if she has, she's forgotten it, which wouldn't be out of character for her - it's not like she has more than a couple months of really clear memories, and though she's seen a movie or two since then, they've been new ones. Big, blockbuster releases. In fact, it's doubtful that she realizes this fight is a reference at all.

Fortunately, she doesn't need to get the reference to show up.

Still, she's a little late. Maybe she wanted to look around, or maybe she just couldn't catch a bus; up here in the Huangshan mountains, getting around is a little harder than in a big city. Either way, Zenaida has about ten or fifteen minutes before Erika, dressed in her usual crop top and denim shorts, strolls up. It's not humid and is breezy, so there's no obvious fog or mist, today, but she is still very blue. There's no mistaking her for anyone else, even if the picture is bad.

"Hey, panda," she says, taking in the woman's appearance and focusing on the ears and build, which are what gives her the 'bear' guess. "Shouldn't you have black spots or something?" Erika is grinning as she strolls toward Zenaida's table, ignoring the waitress entirely. She stops about five feet away, just barely close enough that Zenaida can feel the breeze being a little cooler when it blows from Erika's direction. The grin does not go away. "Nice mountains, huh?"

In 15 minutes time, Zena has enough time to: Ponder the meaninglessness of punctuality against tardiness (3 Minutes), Place an order for several sticks of dumplings with a waiter (2 minutes), No seriously waitress I'm not going to eat you (1 minute), Checking cell phone signal (present but weak)(4 Minutes), Be annoyed that she forgot to bring some form of alcohol with her (2 Minutes), Ponder why in the heck this lady in the picture is blue (1 Minute) and lastly, eat her food as it arrives.

In fact she's still eating when Erika finally shows up, though Zena pays her little mind. When the blue girl starts speaking though, Zena does look up towards her, staring at her as coldly as the chill projected by Erika's own skin.

Zena is not amused.

She places down the chopsticks she was using to eat with and speaks with a heavy russian accent befitting of her size. "If you forfeit now little girl, I will spare you the annoyance of broken bones. I'd very much like to be through with this as quickly as possible."

Erika doesn't seem to mind being ignored until she speaks.

Though when Zenaida does look up, Erika has swiped the chair opposite her - not to sit on, but to lean over, resting her crossed arms on the back. She looks like she's just lounging, completely at her ease.

"Let me think about it," she says, with an exaggerated expression of thought; she brings one finger to her lips, tapping it twice, before she finishes, "Nah. Not going to happen. So why don't /you/ finish your snack, and then we can take this out to the street? The camera guys would probably really like it if we didn't fight /in/ the restaurant. Same with the staff. But in front of it, that's a whole different thing."

Erika pushes herself back upright and starts to stroll back out, toward the street - a confident strut, suggesting that the intimidation didn't work at all. Since this is mostly an outdoor restaurant, Zenaida can see her all the way, and will in fact still be able to see her when she gets to the street. "Though if you want it over so fast, you can forfeit. Or you didn't have to come at all. Hell, if you do, I'll buy you dinner. Just not a huge one; you look like a big eater."

Zenaida already knew the answer to the question before asked it. If she weren't serious about this, she probably wouldn't have taken the plane ticket to come all the way out of here. Still, it was worth a shot. The bear stands a moment after Erika and looks down towards the small restaurant. It was her understanding that damages for destruction of property were already handled. Still, no need to wreck the tiny place for no reason. The street would work just as well.

Zena makes her way out into the street, her appearance alone inspiring people to give the two fighters plenty of space. The yeti cracks her knuckles quite menacingly, one hand over the other while looking down at the far smaller blue one. She speaks again. "Your concern is noted. I mentioned it in case you have reservations. You don't have any. Good. It means I don't have to hold back."

COMBATSYS: Erika has started a fight here.

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Erika            0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Zenaida has joined the fight here.

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Erika            0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0          Zenaida

They're probably handled, but Erika has good reasons to not want to fight in the restaurant even if she enjoys using her power in destructive ways. One is because she is probably going to want something to eat afterwards and they are more likely to be able to do that if they're in one piece.

Second, and more importantly, she's pretty sure Zenaida has the advantage in a crowded area like that, because she's big and can just throw all that stuff around. Erika can't. She's not going to hamper herself just for a moment's fun - well, she might, but not today.

So, the street it is.

Erika is waiting for Zenaida there. She isn't even in a fighting stance, but instead posing for the camera, which is on her until Zenaida gets into range, when they switch to broadcasting the both of them live to the world. That gets Erika to straighten up and get slightly more serious. "I wouldn't expect you to," she says. "Just remember. Sometimes it's the little guys that are most clever, Ms. Panda."

And with that - at almost the same moment they signal the beginning of the battle - Erika brings her hands up, cupping them in front of her face. She exhales out at the same time she starts forming ice and frost in her cupped hands, and what blasts out is a short-lived freezing gust of wind, sparkling with snow and ice! It rolls toward Zenaida, a chilling cloud of glittering ice and sparkling chi that makes it hard to see, at least for a few seconds - real white-out conditions, just short-lived and very localized.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida blocks Erika's Whiteout.

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Erika            0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0          Zenaida

Erika's projectile gets a one arm block, particularly the back of one of those meaty mitts. The ice only left the barest of impacts against her frame, the sparking effect more of a marvel than the damage was. Still though, the snow is short lived the yeti seems quite unfazed. A small smile creeps onto Zena's face.


Zenaida then charges her immediately after the blindness effect ends, her massive frame thundering the ground beneath her. Despite her size, she seemed pretty quick on her feet, as it only took a solid second or two to reach Erika's position.

Unlike ice girl, Zena didn't seem to care to be posing for the cameras one little bit. She reaches a hand out for Erika's shirt and if it connects, she hoists the smaller girl into the air above her head, using her size to her advantage. The bear then violently throws her down into the ground, back first, intending to wind her immediately.

COMBATSYS: Erika dodges Zenaida's Vodka Slammer.

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Erika            0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0          Zenaida

"I try," Erika shoots back, with the same grin as before. She holds her ground as Zenaida prepares to charge her, apparently ready to move at the last instant.

Erika has a couple advantages over Zenaida in the instant of the charging grab. Her shirt is cropped, and kind of tight, so there's not a whole lot of loose fabric to grab. There's some, though - but it makes it a harder target, and Erika makes it harder as she bursts into movement.

Ducking under Zenaida's outstretched arm, Erika darts forward, completely under it and ending up behind Zenaida. She brings her foot up to plant it in the small of Zenaida's back, something that would be uncomfortable but not painful - except, as she kicks, her bare foot is suddenly surrounded by a coating of thick ice, adding force to the impact and letting her boot a lot harder than she otherwise would be. "Keep on going, why don't you!"

As she puts her foot back on the ground, the ice coating breaks off, showering the area around that foot with chunks of hard ice. Erika doesn't seem to care. Her footing is just fine.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida endures Erika's Medium Kick.

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Erika            0/-------/------=|====---\-------\0          Zenaida

Zenaida figured the girl for an evasive type; she simply didn't look like she could take a hit worth beans. She keeps her non-grabbing hand free as she suspected that the attempt may not work and she was right. However, moving around behind her wasn't quite in the game plan, so rather than spin to try to block it, she simply braced herself for the damage. The iced foot was noted as a potential problem for later, but for now it seemed just fine. Every one of these 'fighter' types had some sort of speciality after all. At least hers was an element that was quite common in her old home.

The foot hits clean, but it only earns Erika a glare for her efforts. From there, the bear woman does turn and indeed does keep going for her. Zena's hands form into fists as she takes several wide-range right and left hooks at Erika, ending with a solid punch aimed straight for the gut.

COMBATSYS: Erika blocks Zenaida's Rapid Combo.

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Erika            0/-------/-----==|====---\-------\0          Zenaida

Erika doesn't look like she can take much of a hit, true. She's not exactly built heavily - nothing like Zenaida herself.

That's why she cheats.

Erika cheats right now. Zenaida is coming at her like a freight train, and this time she can't see a way to cleanly get out of the way. So she doesn't; she brings up her arms, trying to defend her upper body. Ice builds up along her bare arms, almost like armour plating or shields, forming into heavy masses that she uses to protect herself.

The last hit of Zenaida's combo smacks solidly into one of those sheets of ice, cracking off part of it and literally sliding Erika back a couple feet - but leaving Erika with the majority of the ice still attached. She strikes back herself, a big sweeping blow with one of her ice-encrusted arms, made slightly awkward by the weight and bulk but more powerful for the same reason. "C'mon, panda," she calls. "Got anything more?"

COMBATSYS: Erika successfully hits Zenaida with Glacier Bulwark.

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Erika            0/-------/----===|=======\-------\1          Zenaida

Alright so, maybe it was time to get a little more serious. Not only was the ice coming in handy, but it was also seriously blunting her ability to actually hurt her. So the only real answer to this was to simply hit harder. Erika's strike hits hard enough to actually force the large woman back a few steps. Zena's head turns back first as the constant barrage of insults and strikes had hit past a certain point of joviality. Her face turns stony. She stopped seemingly like she could be even remotely capable of joking, judging by the way her eyes narrow and burrow in on Erika. This had just gotten serious.

She was going to hurt this girl.

Rather than attempting to grab her by the collar, she settles for a grab for the neck instead. If it connected, she applies pressure and lifts the girl up into the air, holding her at Zena's own eye level. From there, she starts driving in several meaty punches directly into Erika's midsection, one right after another before turning her loose. Just before she fell, a last blow comes in; an overhead arc of a punch, intending to both ground her opponent and send them skidding away.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida knocks away Erika with The Iron Curtain.

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Erika            1/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1          Zenaida

That's apparently what the ice is for - to keep Zenaida from hammering her as hard as she can, or at least to buffer the impact when she does. The shields of ice are actually pretty good at their job overall; like glacier ice, they're extremely solid and hard to chip, and because they're on Erika's arms she can move them with the blow to avoid them being shattered. Some of the time.

There's not a whole lot they can do to stop Erika from being grabbed. She tries, but Zenaida's hand slips by, grabbing her by the neck. The chill around Erika almost immediately intensifies as she tries to harden the ice, making her unpleasant to hold onto, but it's not stopping her from doing what she wants - which is punch. And at this angle, there's not much Erika can do about it.

The last blow sends her flying, the fragments of ice shattering and going every which way as Erika literally rolls down the street, eventually ending on her back and gasping for air. She gets to her feet, still wheezing, but recovering as she does. She's forcing herself to, that's clear, but willpower is getting her back in the game.

She makes a come-on gesture with her left hand as she shifts her chi around. Nothing visible; Erika does this by reflex, but now she's ceding the initiative to the yeti. At least she stopped calling her 'panda'.

COMBATSYS: Erika focuses on her next action.

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Erika            1/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1          Zenaida

Erika gets enough time to maybe move her hand once more in that taunt before Zena takes off yet again, the bear wanting to keep her opponent close. The last grab worked out just fine. Good form. Solid hits. And added bonus of knocking her smug ass away. But if she wanted to end this, she'd need more. Which is fine, because she still had plenty more to dish out.

Foregoing any sense of readable form or whatever the girl was planning, as soon as Zena arrived she raises her fist as if she was going to drive home another one of those heavy punches. She takes a swing that misses intentionally, hopefully manipulating the girl into trying to block. As soon as she does though, her real attack begins. Using her other hand, she throws a very, very quick punch, intending on popping Erika in the chin for her flinching. That is...if she took the bait.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida dazes Erika with Jab Punch!

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Erika            1/------=/=======|=======\==-----\1          Zenaida

It was less a taunt, that time, and more a 'come on, I'm still in the fight'; Erika isn't going to just give up after a big hit. Even if it was a /really/ big hit... more than one of them, honestly.

She'd been preparing to go after Zenaida with some kind of ice power, but when she saw a big slow attack she just had to get out of its way first. Unfortunately, she took the bait - and the jab to the chin was enough to disorient her, at least for a moment. She doesn't have any ice armouring on her face!

"Guh," she gets out, instead of whatever she'd intended to. It also seems to have disoriented her enough that she either forgot or is unable to focus enough to do what she was doing in the first place; she punches back on reflex, a wild swing with no ice around her hand but a bitterly cold aura that saps heat away - even through fur. This is intense. But it's all she has, at least for a moment.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida fails to interrupt Aggressive Strike from Erika with Russian Roulette.

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Erika            1/------=/=======|===----\-------\0          Zenaida

Had a plan following the punch that was going to lead to a massive leg up if it worked. She takes a step backwards and prepares to raise both of her hands above her head to utterly smash the poor girl. It should have worked just fine.

But that errant punch catches her off guard, popping her in the nose and forcing Zena to take a solid step back. For what it's worth, the hit was solid enough to draw blood and to make her own vision water just a smidge. The bear curses in russian as soon as the lucky hit connects, Zena rubbing the back of her hand over her nose.

Erika flails an extra swing that doesn't hit anyone, but by then her vision is starting to clear, and she spots a cursing Zenaida cradling a bloody nose. Erika guesses she managed that by mistake. (Huh, she thinks. I didn't think I was that good.)

Then again, it might not count as 'good' if you do it entirely on reflex and luck.

Either way, she sees no reason to /not/ perform her original plan that she'd been going to. The air around her suddenly gets even colder than it was before, the water vapour in the air turning into tiny sparkling points of ice and drifting fog. Erika feels far more comfortable than she did even moments ago in the sudden chill. It just helps her think, as well as manipulate her powers.

Which may explain the veritable /explosion/ of icicles that suddenly blasts out from her. Not one or two but a good twenty or thirty; a near-cloud of tiny ice pellets. Most aren't sharp, though a couple are; the concerning part is that they're just forming out of thin air in the sudden cold snap, trails of fog around her condensing into them as she freezes and launches the vapor along with her chi. She has a bit of a wild grin, too.

COMBATSYS: Erika successfully hits Zenaida with Icicle Disaster.

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Erika            0/-------/------=|=======\-------\0          Zenaida

Zenaida shakes off the hit finally, only to find that her opponent has yet again managed another surprise, this time in the form of a rather unusual looking formation of chi. The chill absolutely doesn't bother her much. Being both from a very cold climate and having fur, it'd take some serious freezing to get through her. As Zena watches she winces, shaking her head. There was probably no block for this. No place to take cover, nobody to use as a shield and nothing between her and her opponent. Her only option was to gun it and hope she could get close enough to land another solid blow.

As soon as the Icicle rain starts, the bear zooms into close range, tanking several waves of shots to her front. Some of them actually manage to stick into her fur, drawing blood and likely a moderate wince of pain. Still though, she keeps coming. While she's continuing to charge, the fur on one of her arms starts to glow quite evenly. Sparkles of blue lightning course through the white fur, gathering in her fist and electrically charging it.

Upon getting up close and personal with Erika, she takes her last shot, a massively wound up punch, aiming to strike Erika directly in her face to both halt the attack and mayhaps send her into something for the hopes of ending this fight before the damage became too severe for a mere brawl.

COMBATSYS: Zenaida can no longer fight.

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Erika            0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Erika blocks Zenaida's High Voltage Haymaker.

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Erika            0/-------/----===|

This is the secret reason Erika didn't want to fight in the restaurant. In the street, there's a lot less to hide behind, and she can throw a /lot/ of things if she wants to.

The hail of icicles slows down after a while, though a couple more fly out rather late. More of Erika's attention is on surviving the assault, and with the surge of cold it's... well, it's not /easy/ to deal with it. Not by a long shot. But it's possible.

Erika moves quicker under the influence of her surging chi. She brings up more ice, a veritable wall in front of her that Zenaida has to punch through. The advantage is that Erika is not actually touching it, so the electricity discharges into the wall, causing it to steam wildly and start to fall apart; the disadvantage is that she gets pelted by chunks of broken ice as she backs up, and while Erika doesn't mind the cold, a flying piece of frozen anything hurts her as much as anyone else.

It's still a lot better than the fist, though.

Fortunately, that seems to be the last shot from Zenaida. And, in victory, Erika is gracious, more or less. She gives a big grin - toward the camera, to Zenaida, it's unclear - and a half-salute. She doesn't offer to help Zenaida up though.

This is because she expects that, if she tries, she might have her arm pulled off.

The charged fist strikes the ice wall and puts some severe ice cracks into it and comes dangerously close to shattering it but sadly...doesn't. Her ire was raised now and in her prior self, this would have been the point where the dirty tricks come out. This'd be the do or die point. In her previous self, the few times she'd been pushed this far, would be the part where things got dangerous.

But she wasn't that person anymore. She didn't need to be. And in front of a camera isn't the place for it, nor did this girl, despite her being the most irritating thing next to sandpaper, deserve that.

Zena draws back her fist to realize that perhaps conceding now would be best, as the icicles were sticking out of her like a pin cushion. Blood stained her clothes pretty decently at this point and even if she kept going, the chances of them causing more severe damage is indeed a possibility. And while SNF paid well, they didn't pay -THAT- well. She takes a moment to start plucking out the icicles one by one, tossing them aside as if they were beneath her. Once she was properly 'unstuck' she passes another glare towards Erika, particularly for the cheery grin and half salute. Her voice is resolute in it's stony nature.

"Lady Fortune favors you this day little girl. Run along before she casts her eyes elsewhere."

"On one condition," Erika says. She's still breathing hard, and the aura of cold is starting to fade from around her - and as it does, it takes more out of her. She just doesn't want to let Zenaida see that if she can help it. Still, it's pretty obviously less chilly than it was a moment ago.

She holds up one finger. "You don't call me little girl." And with that, she turns and heads - toward the restaurant. She needs to sit down before she falls down in the aftereffects of that chi overdrive. And she could do with something to eat while she does it.

Log created on 17:36:18 08/16/2016 by Erika, and last modified on 22:50:15 08/16/2016.