SNF 2016.07 - SNF: Lump vs Munin in: "Catch of the Day!"

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Description: Professional Fighting Worldwide brings the viewer an evening of mayhem and mystery via Saturday Night Fight! Who is the mud monster, and what is it doing ten thousand miles from its home in the Louisiana bayou? Can roving fighter and sometime-fisherwoman Munin drive the beast from the End of the World? Is Munin really a witch? Why is there an alligator in Argentina? These questions and more will be answered... in the heart of battle!


"Oi! Got one over 'ere, mates."

A man wearing a battered brown leather hat crouched in the bog, holding a hand up to the gaggle of unruly-looking men behind him. Here, in the depths of the Louisiana swamplands, the light of dusk scarcely penetrated the canopy and mist. The expedition had brought them far from the public eye; their task was one of questionable purpose in both legal and ethical terms.

The man in the brown hat jabbed the tip of a knife (some might have even called a blade of its length a short sword) toward a shape that lay motionless in the water. A beam from a flashlight shot from somewhere in the group to illuminate the shape, revealing it to be a rather sizeable American alligator. One eye cracked open as the light shone on its leathery visage; the other socket shifted only to reveal that it had somehow lost the other eye. At the hat-sporting man's signal, the flashlight beam was cut.

"Crikey, 'e's an old one. Leave 'em to me, lads. I'll get 'em ready for transport right quick, or I ain't the Gator Predator," the man in the hat said as he creeped toward the dozing alligator.

"Pre-date-er?" one of the men questioned in a Southern rural drawl. "You gonna date them gators?"

"No, no, preh-dah-tor," the man in the hat whispered. "Except if you pronounce it that way, it don't rhyme with Gator, does it? Hence, Gator Predator." With that, the man slogged closer to the gator through the fetid water. The alligator rose up as the Gator Predator neared. "Now, see, you just have to show 'em who's boss," the man said. "Then, once 'e's cowed, you just punch 'em real hard in the noggin."


A few minutes later, the one-eyed alligator was dozing soundly in a large crate in the back of a hydrofoil.

"Now, we just need to shovel up enough muck to keep 'em nice 'n hydrated till 'e makes it to the island," the Gator Predator explained.

"How far away is the island, anyhow?" one of the rednecks asked.

"Well, I can't say much given the confidential nature of my arrangement with the client, but have you ever heard of the Falklands...?"


"<I swear, we have a stowaway somewhere on the cargo deck. I heard a girl calling in English,>" the sailor said to his superior officer. "<It was in the... special delivery section.>"

"<Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting, sailor?>" the grizzled elder seaman asked, eyes narrowing.

"Just let me show you, sir. It's back here..."

The sound of movement within the cargo crate was unmistakable. Some kind of wet, sloshing sound; the low rumble of a beast within. But then...


The muffling effect of the container could not hide it. It was the voice of a young woman, seemingly American; how they could have gotten into the crate, why they were there, and how they were still alive were all mysteries.

Mysteries that the senior sailor decided were best left to the ocean; whatever it was, its disappearance would be easier explained than its presence.


The fishermen of Fin del Mundo gathered around the rocky shore where the crate had been found. One had fetched a crowbar to open the strange, waterlogged container. The metal hook was jammed under one of the boards sealing the box, then levered up and down. First came the sound of creaking, then what sounded like a guttural growl from within the container. The fisherman's eyes went wide, and he let the crowbar drop as he stepped back. "<My God!>"

Everything went silent save the roar of the ocean for a long moment. With the reassurance of his fellow fishermen, the man picked up the crowbar and stepped forward again. As he jammed it under the lid again and leveraged it upward, tearing nails from wood, the crate shuddered abruptly. The crowbar hit the sand again, and all of the fishermen edged backward.

Something was pushing against the lid from inside the crate.

With a haunting groan, the top of the cargo container peeled away, then flopped to the earth.

A sodden hand reached out of the container, fingers curling around the wooden side. Slowly, the owner of the hand pulled itself up into view. Before them stood a naked woman of seemingly cadaverous complexion and odour, body smeared thoroughly with mud, tangled hair spilling down to conceal her face completely.

"Oh, howdy," the woman said with a yawn that gave her voice a zombie-like tonality.

With a chorus of screams, the fishermen fled the shoreline.


The rocky outcropping near the water's edge remains yet abandoned by the local fishermen, who remain spooked and fearful of the alien intruder to their shores. The general consensus is that it must be some kind of zombie; a corpse stowed in the crate and sent to sea, somehow resurrected from the depths. A call has been put out for aid: surely some brave fighter in the area would be willing to confront the monstrosity?

As for the monstrosity herself, Lump is experiencing some strange extremes in luck. The bitter wind blowing from the sea doesn't bother the girl much in her current state. And, to her delight, she's found an abandoned boat full of fish to feed her pet alligator, "Ol' One-Eye." On the other hand, she has no idea where she is, and the gator isn't in the mood to go anywhere - not that she'd want to take it out in public anyway. Not that she'd take -herself- out in public, if she can help it.

"Alright. You all done then, boy? Lucky thing they left all them fishies for us. I reckon you was 'bout liable to starve," Lump says as she pats the gator on the head. The animal's leathery head suddenly raises, turning back and forth as if alarmed by something.

"What is it, boy? You smell somethin'?" Lump asks, taking a step away from the gator and looking around herself. By this point she's started to take on some of the orange-ish colour of the dust and clay on the shoreline, making her appear to blend slightly more with the locale.

The fisherman, in their shock, do what almost any human does when suprised by something beyond belief:

They start blabbing about it to anyone who'll listen!

On a small vacation out and around, one person who happened to be out to fish herself is one such person who overhears this tall tale, and decides to investigate for herself!

Making sure to leave her fishing gear stowed safely back in her hotel room, a lone woman makes her way down the rocky path. Her hoodies hood is pulled up over her head, masking most of her face in thick shadow as the sun begins to set behind her, breath coming in white puffs that quickly disperse into the air.

Stopping at the moment at the top of the hill descending to the dock, Munin eyes the scene of the events. The woman below DOES look very unusual.... the fishermans reaction is honestly somewhat understandable. Her status as a threat, however, is not known as none were hurt.

The presence of the alligator, however, IS one to take seriously.....

Making her way down, she decides diplomacy is the best course of action to begin with..... "Hello..... is it safe to assume either you or the gator were the reason for everyone fleeing in terror?"

The alligator is agitated. The biting cold may well have more to do with that than the presence of the stranger on the beach - or it may be the fact that, as a creature that doesn't live in saltwater, the gator is effectively cornered against the tide. All that Lump can tell, though, is that the gator is gettin' real ornery, and it has something to do with Munin's presence. The mud-girl dives forward into the rocks, appearing to dash against them into a pool. A second later, she re-emerges from the end of the puddle, covering a surprising amount of distance in the process - enough to put her real close to Munin. Somehow, though, the girl's facial features still remain obscured by her long and tangled hair.

"Now look here, Missy. Ol' One Eye ain't hurt nobody ever since the time he tried to bite my arm off. He's a real gentle critter. Now as for me, I -"

Lump stops up short, her head tilting a little to one side. "Hold on a minute. What's wrong with yer eyes?" The mud-maiden gasps sharply, the sound wet and throaty. "One-Eye! They done sent a voodoo witch to git us! Run for it, I'll hold 'er off!"

The gator turns lazily in a half-circle and starts to tread slowly down the beach.

Meanwhile, Lump rears up, her form liquefying partially as her legs and torso stretch enough to make her appear about a foot and a half taller. One arm reaches down to scoop up a handful of clay and pebble from the turf, stretching to do so. "I ain't scared of your voodoo! We're keepin' our fish!" She whips the arm around to fling the clod at Munin.

COMBATSYS: Munin has started a fight here.

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Munin            0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Lump has joined the fight here.

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Munin            0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Lump

COMBATSYS: Munin blocks Lump's Small Thrown Object.

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Munin            0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Lump

Munin is eyeing the alligator mostly, thinking it the bigger threat when suddenly Lump comes leaping her way! She leans back a bit as the rather disgusting-looking gal gets up close and looks her in the eyes. She can't help but blink in confusion as shes called a voodoo witch "What are yo-" She throws an arm up to block the bits of clay and pebbles Lump suddenly throws her way, a few of which sting a bit, but otherwise little harm done.

(Ok.... so much for diplomacy)

The darkness within her hood deeps, obscuring her face, glowing violet eyes aside, from view. Her hands erupt with shadowy black and violet chi as she flings a blast of darkness in response. Best not to move closer until assessing more about this gals abillities, she reasons.....

Hopefully she can stop this quickly.....

COMBATSYS: Lump blocks Munin's Shadow Wave.

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Munin            0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Lump


The shadowy energy blast coming at her only serves to confirm Lump's suspicions that Munin is, in fact, a witch - at least, in her mind, as she's never encountered anything like it before. Her instinct, then, is to form a barrier with her arms to shield herself from the blast, the limbs appearing to meld together in a muddy barrier. It works - the shadow ball slams into the fused limbs, warping their shape but not penetrating them. As the limbs split apart again and regain their usual (or at least, more humanoid) shape, the girl lets out a growl.

"Now, that there just ain't natural! You done made some kinda deal with Be-elzebub or what?"

Once she's finished chastising Munin's supernatural nature, Lump shoves one hand down toward the earth, dropping down to one knee as she does so. The hand plunges into the earth with startling ease, seeming to disappear into it. A moment later, though, the hand pops up out of the dirt behind Munin, reaching for the back of one of her legs to try and pull her hard off of her feet!

COMBATSYS: Munin counters Bog's Reach from Lump with Blink Strike.

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Munin            0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0             Lump

Eyeing Lump, Munins calculating nature begins to attempt to break down just what her eyes are seeing into something that makes sense and can be used.....

So far, what she is seeing is stranger than normal. When Lump comes down and her arm goes into the ground, there is only a single logical conclusion.....

What goes down, must come back up again to have an effect!

When she hears the ground behind her being to break up and be disrupted, Munin performs a backflip, leaving a shadowy clone of herself made of solid chi behind. The hand likely grasps at this false images leg, which promptly is passed through like a cloud and would dissipate moments later in either case.

The REAL Munin meanwhile swings her arm down mid-leap, hand infused with shadowy chi, to strike the offending arm as she goes!

Landing behind it, she quickly hops back a step, reorientating on Lump to assess her own next move "Course it's natural, and i don't make deals with devils".

The apparently-disembodied hand shudders as the chi-infused hand strikes it, causing the girl at the other end of it to cry out in surprise. Despite the apparent disconnect between the girl and her limb, it's apparent that somehow, the two are still one and the same. The hand seems to shrivel from the attack before shrinking back into the ground, and Lump's limb slides out of the earth with a slurping sound.

"Ain't nothin' natural about it! I ain't gonna let you voodoo what you wanna do!"

Surging forward, Lump extends her arms, stretching them unnaturally to reach out to try and grab hold of Munin's own arms. Should she succeed, she'll swing herself in a one hundred and eighty degree motion, pulling Munin off of her feet before throwing her toward the rocks along the shore!

COMBATSYS: Lump successfully hits Munin with Strong Throw.

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Munin            0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0             Lump

Unfortunately, Lumps words prove enough of a distraction. Munin just gives her a look, one eyebrow raised as if to say 'really?' as she asks "This coming from someone that fights like their made of taffy and looks like their made of something on the bottom of someones shoe?".

That may have been a bit mean....

Unfortunately, Munin isn't paying enough attention to action, and is unable to move in time to avoid being grabbed and thrown! She angles herself in the air, eyeing the fast-approaching point of impact, and rolls with it, wincing as she takes some sharp hits to her newly-healed ribs from the rocks! (So much for a relaxing recovery.....).

With a sudden burst of speed, she rockets towards Lump, shadowy chi trailing behind her like black mist! In one palm a small 'lance' of dark purple chi forms, and as she passes by the pliably-formed gal, she strikes with her palm at her in passing, hoping it will have some effect, and that her speed will protect her from repriasal! Without missing a beat, once she comes to a stop, Munin spins and strikes low with a followup palm strike, sans ki-lance, hoping to hit Lump from the other side while her guard may still be up in the other direction!

COMBATSYS: Munin blitzes into action and acts again!

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Munin            0/-------/---====|===----\-------\0             Lump

COMBATSYS: Lump endures Munin's Shadow Spike.

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Munin            0/-------/-======|====---\-------\0             Lump

COMBATSYS: Lump interrupts Aggressive Strike from Munin with Squelch.

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Munin            1/-----==/=======|=====--\-------\0             Lump

Lump shifts slightly as Munin closes in. She doesn't seem to be quite able to keep up with the woman's speedy movements. The lance of dark energy cuts into the mud-maiden's side, spattering the rocks with muck and leaving a gash that continues to seep with the wet substance that appears to be what passes for Lump's blood. She's still looking down at her injury, arms raised, when the palm slams into her thigh - finding perhaps much more purchase than intended, as the solid flesh penetrates Lump's own protean skin much more deeply than one might expect. The mud seems to become much denser around the hand, disallowing retreat for Munin's fingers.

"I ain't had taffy in forever," Lump muses, tapping her cheek with one finger, then scowling. "And that ain't real nice to say to a lady!"

With a spinning motion around her hips, Lump twists her body forcefully, ejecting Munin after building up enough momentum by rendering her thigh liquid again to send her hurtling away!

Flung into the air again, Munin scrambles to align herself before the landing! She only partially succeeds, and lands hard on the rocky ground, wincing sharply as she pushes herself back up faster than her body actually wants to allow her. (Definately re-broke something that time..... but at least i did something).

She eyes Lump, her glowing eyes increasing in intensity as she stops to catch her breath, and take in her opponent. File away what information has been gained. Observe for patterns "No nicer than caling me a witch. So i guess we're even". Wisps of black fog seem to drift off Munins shoulders as she stands, her gaze seeing to analyze her opponent with almost machine-like effeciency!

COMBATSYS: Munin focuses on her next action.

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Munin            1/-----==/=======|=====--\-------\0             Lump

"Ain't nothin' wrong with callin' a witch a witch," Lump replies, head turning a little further than it should be able to past her shoulder to regard Munin. The rivulets of muck running from her side seem to dwindle as her protean flesh shifts and molds itself back toward its natural, humanoid shape. Turning her body to match the direction of her head, Lump reaches a hand up to brush the matted sheet of hair from her face, revealing a shot of blue that appears to be a humanoid iris amongst her discoloured skin.

"And anyhow, it ain't like I did nothin' to get like this! I just - hgrhghrl -"

Lump seems to be suddenly choking on her own words for a moment. The girl's chest swells briefly, and her cheeks bulge. Then, abruptly, the girl's mouth opens again, and as it does, an unidentifiable and noxious melange of fluids spews force as if from a firehose, aimed to splatter all over Munin!

COMBATSYS: Munin blocks Lump's Mud Spew.

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Munin            1/----===/=======|=====--\-------\0             Lump

With an audible "Hmph!", Munin puts up her arms, the shadowy chi intensifying as it partially counteracts the substance. Though some of it manages to get through to her arms, Munin then flings her arms wide, dispersing the substance and flinging it from her limbs, glaring "If you think i'm a witch, you've been living under a rock. There are many perfectly natural and well-trained fighters more capable than me and vastly more frightening in their abilties publicly known around the world". Rushing forwards in a blur of shadow, she strikes out with a high kick, aiming for that point of blue she saw a moment ago. Blink an opponent, and it grants an advantage, if something like Lump even has eyes that can be affected thusly....

COMBATSYS: Munin successfully hits Lump with Medium Kick.

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Munin            1/----===/=======|=======\-------\0             Lump

The mud girl stands bemused by Munin's monologue, head canting slowly to one side eerily. "I ain't got a clue what you're yammerin' about, lady. And I ain't been livin' under no rock!" She attempts to raise a soggy arm to catch the foot as it flies at her face, but isn't quick enough. Lump's head spins round several degrees further than it ought to be able to - the impact certainly feels more solid than the one before.

"Tarnation!" Lump curses, reaching her hands up to her scalp and taking hold of it before giving a twist to pop it back into facing the right direction. "I'm gonna take the fire right outta ya!"

Lunging forward, Lump attempts to half-dash, half-flow around behind Munin, swinging her arms out to try and loop them around the purple-eyed woman's forehead and face. Should she succeed, she'll then swing her legs up to try and wrap them around Munin's waist to lock her in something resembling a sleeper hold - though the malodorous miasma rising from the mud-girl's skin would be nearly as suffocating as the hold itself.

COMBATSYS: Munin blocks Lump's Choke Hold.

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Munin            1/--=====/=======|=======\-------\1             Lump

Acting quickly, Munin puts her arms up to prevent the squeeze being put on her head, and promptly leaps back and over Lumps quickly-closing waist grab! Having a good view of the strange girl from the air as she descends, it's decided to try to take advantage of the situation, and hope she doesn't recover in time to react!

Instantly on landing, Munins eyes flash brightly as she suddenly splits into multiple copies, all moving in mirrored symmetry! One goes left, one goes up, and one goes right! As they approach and pass, each attempts to strike Lump with a palm strike, shadowy chi enveloping their hands! All the blows are completely real, though two of the images are not, and vanish when struck, or after they've struck. Whichever happens first!

COMBATSYS: Munin successfully hits Lump with Double Vision.

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Munin            0/-------/------=|=======\====---\1             Lump

As Munin slips her grasp, Lump hits the ground gracelessly, landing on her backside. She pushes herself up and onto her feet, palms flat against the ground as her arms stretch to elevate her upper body. When the trio of shadowy figures appear, her head turns quickly to try and follow them, her body hunkering forward warily. It's too many Munins for one Lump to track, though - all three palm strikes slam into Lump as her neck twists in a tizzy, her malleable flesh warping under the effects of the dark energy. The slick muck coating her seems to flow more freely as damage to her form mounts.

"H-hey, three against one ain't fair!" Lump protests as her skin seems to slough and shift over the damaged portions of her body, her legs and abdomen seeming to melt and reform like putty into a single foundation for a moment. With the change in form, Lump's upper body whirls around, changing facing more easily as she locks onto the single remaining Munin. "Alright. Come at me again, I dare ya! This time I'm gonna gitcha!"

COMBATSYS: Lump focuses on her next action.

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Munin            0/-------/------=|=======\====---\1             Lump

Without missing a beat, the moment she comes to a stop, Munin turns and moves in again! She keeps it reletively simple, sending a combination of punches and kicks in rapid succession at Lump, swapping up high and low in an effort to keep her off guard and maintain tempo!

COMBATSYS: Lump interrupts Combo Grapple from Munin with Weeping Willow.

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Munin            0/-------/---====|==-----\-------\0             Lump

As Munin charges in on her again, Lump's upper body sways backward like a tree in a strong wind - something that she somewhat resembles in her current state, especially as the chilling breeze picks up mightily from a seaborn gale. Her arms hang loosely at her side as she starts to spin from the waist up.

Such is the force of the wind that has picked up that some of the fish that have been freed from their nets on the shore are blown clear over the crags. As Munin nears and Lump happens to be turned away toward the sea, one such fish smacks directly into the lower half of Lump's face. She catches it with her mouth, and sounds like she's breathing in deeply through her nostrils - though it's hard to tell whether she has a bad cold or such breathing /always/ sounds like that, in her face.

"Mmmmmm. Fifh!"

It almost looks as if Lump is... smiling as she whirls back around to face Munin, fish in mouth. As the blows rain against Lump's soggy flesh, her hair - which has been growing longer and longer and spinning with her helicopter-like the whole time - whips around the hood of Munin's hoodie, thick and wet and somehow strong enough to wrap around and trap the woman's head. Lump's momentum doesn't stop - she spins for another two revolutions with supernatural force, carrying Munin off the ground before throwing her toward the sea as the muddy hair releases its hold on her.

After launching her opponent away, Lump takes hold of the fish in her mouth with both hands, turns it sideways, and sticks the fish head-first into her maw. It hangs there for a moment before, with a *sluuuuurp,* it disappears into... God knows where, really.

Struggling seems pointless once Lump has Munins head covered. She goes limp and goes with the force of the spinning, particularly to try to prevent her neck being broken, and once airborn, has a good clear view of exactly where she'll land.

The injuries are piling up too much at this point, so she decides it best to cut her losses. Ignoring her opponent behind her on the shore, Munin angles her body so that when she hits the water, shes in a dive position, reducing pain of impact while also giving her depth without much loss of velocity. Staying under water some distance, and despite the very cold water, she more or less disappears from view on impact with the surface as she makes her escape!

COMBATSYS: Munin takes no action.

[                   \\\\\\\\\\\  <
Lump             0/-------/-----==|

COMBATSYS: Munin can no longer fight.

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Lump             0/-------/-----==|

Lump turns to face toward the sealine, raising one hand to presumably shield her eyes as she peers out over the water. Her body shifts and reforms itself into its original shape, though the slop drenching it continues to flow over the surface of her skin. As she lowers her arm, her belly starts to gurgle, and then...


"Whew," Lump says as she treads down towards the water's edge again. "Hope she ain't gon' drown or nothin'. Hey, Ol' One Eye! You can come back, that witch done gone fer a swim!" She beckons the alligator back toward her as she calls to it. Ol' One Eye, who has made it about seven feet down the shoreline by now, shifts direction, padding slowly in a semicircle back toward its muddy mistress.

"Well, I reckon we better get headed back toward home. How far you reckon it is to Baton Rouge from here, boy...?"

COMBATSYS: Lump takes no action.

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Lump             0/-------/-----==|

COMBATSYS: Lump has ended the fight here.

Log created on 21:54:52 07/18/2016 by Lump, and last modified on 00:50:02 07/20/2016.