SNF 2016.03 - SNF: Roll Up Hoe Down! Pepper vs Jezebel

Description: The easter egg roll! A long-standing Easter tradition, done upon the White House lawn. As children race eggs across soft grass with long spoons, others hunt for the eggs hidden on the lawn. What better way than to have Lightning Spangles as the Easter Bunny herself! But Lightning Spangles may find herself more than just entertaining kids: Rumor has it that the mysterious Bunny Faux Faux will be showing up to steal all the childrens eggs, and even President Obama's eggs themselves! Lightning Spangles may face her most fiercesome foe yet, as her opponent may in fact be far more familiar than anybody could be comfortable with... (Winner: Pepper)

The White House

Washington, DC

Home of the most powerful man in the world not to win the title by beating up other people to earn the title (although that's not to say that there haven't been suggestions to add combat tournament to the search for the Commander in Chief of the US Military). When it comes to the head of the most powerful nation in the world, it's no surprise that his home is one of the most highly secured pieces of semi-public real estate in existance.

But today is Easter, and tradition and ceremony are the other vital part of the White House's role. Tens of thousands of people now occupy the South Lawn, with an overwhelming number of them being children.

Exactly the sort of wholesome, American children that are the core demographic of DISNEY'S LIGHTNING SPANGLES!

Despite only debuting earlier this year, the new LIGHTNING SPANGLES has managed to achieve smash ratings success with the help of an incredible victory that placed her as the Red Rookie Title holder following her initial matches, won through measures of creativity, intensity, and friendship. The fact that DISNEY'S LIGHTNING SPANGLES has also been pushed to the position of being the highest rated new show among children, preteens, and men age 35-50 (thanks in part due to the effective marketing of the Walt Disney Company) has opened up new opportunities for a character thought irredeemable mere months previous after a disasterous campaign trail event turned lethal.

As part of the redemption of LIGHTNING SPANGLES, the young cowpoke/singer/dancer/fighter has been invited to entertain the children attending the incredible event. None of this has anything to do with the fact that The Walt Disney Company has also agreed to sponsor in-school health and education programs all across the country as part of Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" initiative. Or the fact that noted comic book fan Barack Hussein Obama has been offered early screenings to Disney subsidiary Marvel Studio's upcoming Captain America: Civil War movie (along with an also not at all related opportunity to try on a set of Iron Man armor).

"HOOOOEEEEEEEEY!" cries LIGHTNING SPANGLES as she stands in front of a collective of children armed with their Sunday best and brightly colored baskets lined with colorful plastic grass. "It sure is great to be here with some of my favorite Showup Hoedown Deputies in our great nation's capital with the biggest, bravest sheriff there is: The President of the United States of America!"

LIGHTNING SPANGLES has come dressed for the occasion, with her outfit a mix of whites, pinks, and pale blues and yellows. Her glittering white stetson has also been adorned with a pair of white furred rabbit ears sticking straight up... alongside a pair of branching antlers.

"I, uhhhh, am just as happy to have you visit us here at the White House, Lightning Spangles," the President responds without the aid of a teleprompter. "It's great to have a young American girl like you that encourages young women all across this great nation to reach for their dreams and shows every young American the benefits of staying active and involved." With a charismatic smile and a laid-back improvisational tone entirely unlike a lizardperson or the Zodiac Killer, he adds, "I'd also never heard of the Easter Jackalope before today, but you've made me a believer."


Jezebel stands at attention within the dark room. It was hot, unbearably hot. But the actress was wide-eyed, a smile on the corners of her lips. She was clad in a black t-shirt and camo pants, a perfect merc outfit. It wasn't clear who she was reporting in the darkness, or why. But her question made it clear.

"Am I going to have to kill some one?"

Muffled sounds come. Or maybe no sounds at all. Jezebel stands fast, the smiling fading a bit. "I don't have to kill anyone. I just..." Her voice falters a bit, as her mind struggles somehow. Struggles to think, to understand.

"I just... I just have to be... I just have to be...."



The rich noblewoman's laughter breaks out over the field. The children, getting ready for their laughter, soon fall silent. Turning towards the single oak tree by the lawn, a strange woman stands on top the branches. The woman was clad in satin bustier, outlined with red ribbon on the edge. The woman long legs were wrapped in black fishnet stockings, running all the way up her thighs to the careful curves of the bustier. A little bunny tail pokes out, as the lower portion of the bustier seems to cover the very edge of the thighs for the children's sake. A bright red bowtie is tied to her white collar. Upon her head was a pair of black bunny ears, perked up high over a pair of buns behind each ear. Upon her face, however, concealing her features, was a mysterious black masquerade mask covering the top of her face, done in a rhinestone fascimile of a rabbit face.

The Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux.

The Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux looks down from the tree, before she leaps down with a flip. Landing on the grass, she holds up a black silk fan. Waving it at her face, she looks around at the children dismissively. "Hmph!" She states, striding past them towards the 'marked off' ring. It was all according to plan. Folding up her fan, she hangs it at her side, as she turns towards Obama and his best friend. "So! This is world famous Lightning..."

And she freezes.

The voice is gone. She locks up, as all eyes are on her. From behind the mask, the eyes go wide, and then, watery. She was looking straight at Pepper now, straight at Lightning Spangles. She practiced this. She could do this. She knew she could do this. She rehersed this. And yet, right now, she was frozen. She was ruining everything for her new friends. Her new saviors. No. No. no no no! NO! NO! NO! And finally, time moves again as she continues, forcing herself forward.


The strange woman gives a sudden, swift kick upon the katamari in the center of the ring. Rolling away, it runs over some of the children's easter eggs. Instead of breaking them, they are scooped up quickly into the strange ball-like device. Already, the children are crying and calling for help! Help! Help from Lightning Spangles! Help from the wicked, vile, horrible, disgusting, slimy, viscious, horrible Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux! The wicked women herself looks around at the adults, avoiding her gaze on Lightning Spangles herself. Focusing on the president, she turns her nose up as she adjusts her bowtie.

Subtly taking a picture of the man from the hidden camera.

*CLICK* goes the camera and the very first shot of...

...LIGHTNING SPANGLES blocking the view of the President.

Just a hair's breadth longer than the blink of an eye is all it took for LIGHTNING SPANGLES to move into a protective position, placing herself between the strange woman and the Commander in Chief. After all, LIGHTNING SPANGLES was a hero to kids everywhere, and there was no way that LIGHTNING SPANGLES would just let some strange woman show up and threaten all of the Lightning Spangles Showup Hoedown Deputies gathered here for a fun holiday event.

"It's one thing when a stranger comes pokin' around at the Lightning Spangles Showup Hoedown, because on the Lightning Spangles Ranch we welcome all sorts of new friends to participate in our jumpin' jamboree," the speech is paused for a moment as LIGHTNING SPANGLES turns to all the gathered children to add, "But be careful around people you don't know, deputies. Not everyone has a nose for trouble like LIGHTNING SPANGLES."

The cowgirl twists back toward the mysterious masked marauder to continue, "But this ain't the Lightning Spangles Showup Hoedown, and ya'll need an invitation to be here at a party like this one, and you don't meet the dress code!"

The assembled children start to cheer for LIGHTNING SPANGLES the moment she steps up, eyes filled with that genuine look of belief that there's nothing that can go wrong with their hero standing up for them.

"First things first, though... them eggs don't you just rustled belong to some of my favorite deputies, so you'll be returning them or you'll end up in a high-noon, high-kick showdown with LIGHTNING SPANGLES!" Emphasizing the drama of the moment, LIGHTNING SPANGLES whips her hand around, calling forth a small fraction of chi to leave behind a glittering trail of what might as well be fairy dust that comes together into the shape of a glowing tin star just as she takes a few steps forward. From Bunny Faux Faux's perspective, it makes an incredibly dramatic backdrop to the young starlet's stand.

Jezebel couldn't describe the feeling she was having.

It wasn't envy, that was for sure. As the young, new Lightning Spangles steps into the path of her shot, she was... she was doing everything right. It was like looking into a mirror. Jezebel couldn't shake the feeling that the woman before her wasn't a young girl by the name of Pepper. But it was her, Jezebel. As the children comes around Pepper, it was like they were coming around Jezebel again. This wasn't Pepper. This was Lightning Spangles, and Lightning Spangles was still Jezebel, forever and ever. And so young, and so beautiful, and so beloved. As she unleashes her glowing fairy dust around, Jezebel is stunned.

And the Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux wipes away a single tear.

"MO HO HO HO HO HO!" She chortles, unleashing the laughter again as the katamari rolls back towards her. Lifting a heeled foot up, she plants it delicately on the ball of eggs. "I do believe those are -my- eggs now, Lightning Spangles!" The woman unfolds her fan, cooling herself off briskly by her sheer haughtiness. Adjusting her bowtie again, she takes another subtle picture. "Of course, you -are- pretty cute... for a kid! Maybe I could give your friends their eggs back..." Snapping the fan shut, she falls back into HER fighting stance... a rather straight forward Tae Kwon Do stance, her guard up as her hand tightly grips the fan.

Just Jezebel says, "If you only do me one simple, itty bitty favor" She coos, pursing her black lips at Lightning Spangles as she pinches her index finger and thumb together.

"If you join -my- crew of wickedness and cruelty!"

About this point in time, the Secret Service has long since shown up to intercept the unscheduled interloper, but nobody seems all that focused on doing anything, looking on, instead with an intense level of confusion.

"What is this shit?" Obama asks one of the Secret Service agents quietly enough to not be overheard by the entranced child audience. "Nobody told me they were going to put on some stupid stage show with one of Hefner's washed up cast-offs."

But LIGHTNING SPANGLES knows better. This isn't part of any sort of scheduled event. This is a real and true villain intent on doing... really low level evil things appropriate to a children's TV show. But it's a villain none-the-less. And LIGHTNING SPANGLES knows just how you react to bad guys.

"Everyone knows that LIGHTNING SPANGLES always stands up for what's right!" cries the young heroine as she reaches up and adjusts the brim of her hat. "And all of those eggs you've tried to claim belong to the good little pardners who came all the way out here to have a fun Easter Sunday thanks to the big man in the Oval Office!"

That's met with a quick turn to give a tip of the hat to Obama himself before she twists back around on the heel of her boot to aim a pair of extended index fingers at Bunny Faux Faux. "As long as LIGHTNING SPANGLES rides for Justice, a no-good rustler like you will never succeed!"

Again the children erupt in excited cheers for the heroic, sparkly cowpoke defending their right to collect fake eggs from the White House lawn!

"Looks to me like we're gonna hafta draw."

The Mysterious Faux Faux gives the coyest of smiles at Lightning Spangles' response

"Well, well, well, it looks like Lightning Spangles has some principles after all. Hmph! Only -losers- have any personal code. But I am a such a sweet and wonderful lady." The woman gives President Obama a flirty wink, rotating her shoulder at the man. "So I will play your silly little game of a draw. To be fair." She adjusts her footing. "Okay Lightning Spangles.... On the count of three."


"... Two..."

And suddenly, she leaps.

Bounding forward in a long arc of a leap, the Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux vault forward, sweeping her legs around. The katamari rolls into the air with her, threating to bound and roll up all the eggs in its path. Faux Faux's leg sweeps around hard, before coming into a slam... right next to Pepper. Standing fast by her, the woman seemed to have just barely missed Lightning Spangles. One thing was clear.

She -doesn't- attack Lightning Spangles just yet.

COMBATSYS: Jezebel has started a fight here.

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Jezebel          0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Pepper has joined the fight here.

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Jezebel          0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0           Pepper

Everyone knows that LIGHTNING SPANGLES is honorable, but there's not a coyote in the west that could pull one over on LIGHTNING SPANGLES (The fact that Pepper Green is a talented at both reading opponents to copy them and understanding how dramatic principles come together also helps). As the villain breaks her word and comes flying in, the impeccable cowpoke makes a jack rabbit hop to the side, which all in all covers up nicely for the fact that the kick wasn't going to hit her in the first place.

"A snake might not poke its head up above the grass before it tries to bite, but you can still hear it rattle!" LIGHTNING SPANGLES retorts at her opponent, just long enough to add a bit of excitement to the whole event as she kicks up into the air without an ounce of hesitation and flips around in an impressive motion to land a somersault kick on the top of the already falling Katamari, the tip of her boot letting off a spark of glittering chi that suddenly engulfs the orb as it rockets down at Bunny Faux Faux like a glitter asteroid preparing to create an arts and crafts apocalypse.

"Someone call up Disney and chew them out for pulling this crap on us. I don't care if RDJ himself is in that Iron Man suit, this is bullshit," Obama mutters.

COMBATSYS: Jezebel dodges Pepper's Large Thrown Object.

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Jezebel          0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0           Pepper

It was a glorious feint.

The children boo and hiss as the Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux pulls a dirty trick on the wicked woman. As Lightning Spangles narrowly evades that assault, Faux Faux shrieks in rage. "Gah! MISERABLE!" She screams as the cowgirl scoops up the katamari, and sends it hurtling straight towards the villain. As the ball is unleashed, the woman was already in mid turn, twisting in the face of the strange ball. It barely misses, the afterimages of the eggy ball flashing past her shoulder.

Letting it go straight towards Obama and company.

"Nice Try, Lightning Spangles!" Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux mocks, pirouetting on her heels. "But you'll never pin down this snake~" The woman regains her footing in the grass, digging her heels down into the soil. Pivoting again, she whips her other leg around, as she begins to belt out! "Yee-"

And she stops herself short.

The woman fall silent as she unleashes a second roundhouse kick, right after the first. And then, she stops there. Jezebel couldn't use her signature moves, her mortal technique. Everyone would know. EVERYONE WOULD KNOW. For now, the mysterious woman would just unleash the pair of kicks, attempting to overwhelm the younger, perfect version of Jezebel. There couldn't even be a yee-haw. But in her darkness, Jezebel found something better.


COMBATSYS: Pepper endures Jezebel's Medium Kick.

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Jezebel          0/-------/------=|==-----\-------\0           Pepper

As the ball keeps rolling, one of the Secret Service Agents rushes forward and brings it to a halt before it has any chance of even bumping into the President. Despite the fact that his shaved head glistens in the Sunday morning light, he's not quite egg-shaped enough to be taken in by the weird ball.

Which is a good thing, because otherwise the children might started to get even more worried about all of this.

Something is off about all of this. Pepper Green has noticed that all of this is just stage show evil. That first kick wasn't going to hit her, and this weird laughing and taunting is just the sort of thing a bad guy would do on TV, but would probably avoid in a real fight (at least to this degree).

Did management set up a fight for her without warning her that it would happen? When you're doing a show in front of kids like this, especially for a major public event, they usually set up something like this as a phony match with most of it worked out ahead of time so that they can get the lines ready.

Who thought it would be a good idea to do improv at the White House?

Not that LIGHTNING SPANGLES gives that much mind, no the cowgirl isn't one to waste time on examining complicated plots that don't tend to actually exist in her world. There's someone trying to ruin things for her little pardners and she's going to put a stop to it.

If she's stop bouncing around at least.

A new strategy comes about as the kicks come flying, and LIGHTNING SPANGLES sets her boots in the ground as Bunny Foux Foux lashes out at her. No attempt to protect herself, weathering each blow with a wince until the last kick connects and she suddenly retaliates with a booted heel of her own to the scandalously dressed (for children's entertainment) bunny's midsection that she uses as an opportunity to kick up into the air and whip around in a complex twist to wrap her other leg around the villain's neck and twist around from inertia until she can clench both legs in tight around Foux Foux's throat as she wrenches her bodyweight forward in an effort to bring the villain to the ground.

"Remember, Deputies, if there's an ornery snake tryin' to bite you, grab 'em just behind the head and they can't get ya!"

COMBATSYS: Pepper successfully hits Jezebel with Someone To Hold.

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Jezebel          0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0           Pepper

It was pretty terrible, to be fair.

The presence of Jezebel was not completely out of no where. It was, after all, just a part of the Lightning Spangles show. All part of it. Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux was almost certainly a Lightning Spangles villain... except for the outfit of course. And yet, as Jezebel infilitrates in, she was in a fever dream. As the secret service moves in, she takes a moment to take another picture of the set using her bowtie.

That was the moment that Pepper would need.

As Faux Faux takes her picture, Lightning Spangles surges in with a boot to her gut. Gasping, Faux Faux attempts to seize her opponent, seize Lightning Spangles as she comes around. But she is too slow. As the pivot comes, Faux Faux almost throws herself to the ground preemptively, hurling herself down with Lightning Spangles' own effort. With a grunt, she breaks into a roll, tumbling hard across the grass. Stunned for a moment, she lets Lightning Spangles say her line... .and she.... and she says it -wrong!-

"Just remember to never do it with real dangerous snakes!"

The words almost came out like a trance. Turning towards the kids, in spite of her struggling to stand, she just keeps explaining, her voice almost bright. "Vipers have diamonds heads, and pits between their noses and eyes! Never play around with vipers, kids!" The kids fall silent, as they watch Faux Faux explain snake safety. Coming to a full stand, she looks around, staring at the kids.


She suddenly reaches out to the kids, snarling her lips. The children scream and flee, as she covers her mouth, chortling again. "Wretched children! Those who play with snakes ought to get bit, wouldn't you say Lightning Spangles?!" The mewling laughter comes as she lunges in with another kick... before dropping it short, into the ground. A second kick comes, spinning wide and whipping fast. A strange lady, a villain or an actress? One thing was sure.

She was bringing a heel right Pepper's way!

COMBATSYS: Jezebel successfully hits Pepper with Spin Kick.

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Jezebel          0/-------/--=====|======-\-------\0           Pepper

When it comes to becoming another person, it helps to watch a lot of their work. Even if they expect you to change things up, you still need to know almost everything about the original so that you can find the core spirit and make the changes.

All of this means that Pepper Green has seen an incredible amount of the original Lightning Spangles, gone through and measured every motion, every expression, and most importantly at the moment, she knows how Lightning Spangles talked.

Unfortunately the realization of just what's happening here is enough to take Pepper Green out of her character for just long enough that she's not quite prepared when that kick comes twisting in at her. Trying to slip back into character leaves her slow, with a weak attempt to put her arm in the way of the strike met with enough force to knock it aside easily as it continues on its intended path and slams LIGHTNING SPANGLES into the grass.

But as she gets up, eyes locked in on "Bunny Faux Faux," it's clear that in this moment, Jezebel isn't just fighting Lightning Spangles, there's a girl behind all of that with eyes that cut trough every layer of deception as she says, "You ain't allowed to be here." With all the chaos, it doesn't travel far enough to reach the crowd, but they're words that linger.

And then the moment is gone as she glides back into LIGHTNING SPANGLES effortlessly, pushing the rest of the way to her feet with a determined grin on her face. "So long as LIGHTNING SPANGLES has her little pardners in her corner, no snake is enough to overcome the JUSTICE OF THE WEST!" She brings her hand up in front of her and clenches it hard enough that it squeezes a burst of glittering chi all around the already sparkling glove.

"With the trust of my SHOWUP HOEDOWN DEPUTIES, I could even leap a Canyon!"

Even before she takes a swing, the words aim for Jezebel like the point of a dagger, leading the way as LIGHTNING SPANGLES barrels down on Bunny Faux Faux with a straight punch aimed straight for her jaw, ready to explode with a burst of SPANGLES ENERGY!

COMBATSYS: Jezebel blocks Pepper's Strong Punch.

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Jezebel          0/-------/=======|=======\-------\0           Pepper

It was beginning to come together.

As the sweeping kick comes to the stunned girl, she actually loses the arrogant facade for a second. A whispered voice comes, from somewhere, something. "Are you okay?" Was the words that slipped out, amongst the gasps and cries of the boys and girls. The Katamari continues to roll across the grass, freely scooping up the eggs. But as Lightning Spangles rises... she states very sharply, that she knew her. That she knew who she was. Jezebel is speechless a moment, and her eyes were locked in. As the speech comes, she staggers back, uncertain what happens next. The punch comes, as the full bear comes...

Bunny Faux Faux throws up her guard.

The staggering punch of pure AMERICAN SPIRIT the Shadaloo agent goes straight for the face. Hands up, mysterious woman cathes the punch with both hands, stopping it cold. That part goes fine. When the -follow up- blast comes, however, the woman is sent reeling.

Right into President Obama's lap.

"Oh!" She exclaims, as the secret service suddenly rushes around her. Instinctively, Jezebel throws her arms around Obama, legs trailed over the side neatly. And suddenly... suddenly, the defensive stance of the men fades. The president himself... eases the men back. Bunny Faux Faux, looking around, suddenly casts a glance towards Pepper... and gives a devious smile. "Oh, President Obama! I'm just so sorry! That Lightning Spangles can be just so... rough and mean~" She coos, tracing the president's lips. The man nods, smiling broadly, as he helps her off his lap. "Please."

"Call me Barry."

The Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux gives a toying wink as she stands back up, the secret service immediately cutting themselves between her and the president. Adjusting her bustier, she lifts it up, highlighting her ample bosem. Striding towards Lightning SPangles, she reaches for the fan of her hip. Looking towards Lightning Spangles, a wicked grin spreads across her lips. "You might have the trust of your deputies, Lightning Spangles."

"But you don't got my magic~"

Bunny Faux Faux strides forward, hips wiggling with every step as she comes towards Lightning Spangles. And there, she will try and thrust the fan towards Pepper's throat. Not to attack, but to... tease. To circle her. Hip sway, hip sway, giving full view for the fathers and secret service watching... as well as for Barry himself. "So! It seems that EVEN THE PRESIDENT HIMSELF has fallen under my spell Lightning Spangles. How long will it before every man in the White House will fall for me?! Every man in this NATION! You might have the American Spirit, Lightning Spangles..." And suddenly, she drives a heel straight for Pepper's foot, to stomp right on her boot.

"But I have America's Heart!"

COMBATSYS: Pepper interrupts Heel Kick from Jezebel with Touch The Sky.
? Strange Hit! ?

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Jezebel          1/------=/=======|=======\=====--\1           Pepper

This is a real problem. LIGHTNING SPANGLES is all about wholesome entertainment for America's youth, providing good messages, morality, and encouragement. None of this, especially not under the Walt Disney Company, is supposed to be about flirting and inappropriate costumes. The Walt Disney Company had to CG away some of Lindsey Lohan's breasts in the Herbie Fully Loaded movie because it wouldn't have been appropriate for the audience to see a woman's natural body, even if non-revealing clothes.

LIGHTNING SPANGLES also can't be involved in any political scandals... not after the giant mess that nearly destroyed the profitability of the brand (and also lead to the death of a child). Something needs to be done, and fast.

"It takes more than one hussy in a low-cut top to win America's heart," starts LIGHTNING SPANGLES in a steady tone. Her head tilts up slowly, so that if there were an appropriately placed camera (there actually is), it would catch the glint of determination in her eye as the brim drew up like the curtains in front of a stage.


As LIGHTNING SPANGLES's voice fills the air, she rockets into the air, her fist catching Jezebel in the jaw with an explosion of stars that sends both actresses into the air. Bunny Foux Foux flips over dramaticly before coming crashing down chest first onto the still aimlessly rolling Katamari. For a moment it seems uncertain of whether the somewhat egg-shaped objects coming down on it should be absorbed, but it's purity of spirit quickly realizes its error and it's forced to acknowledge that it's not prepared for something like this.

With no ability to contain the impact by collecting new eggs, the Katamari is instead sent into a violent explosion, as all the previously collected eggs are sent flying in all directions. Enthusiastic children rush in under the rain of eggs, colorful baskets extended up toward the sky, collecting the glorious manna from heaven as wooden eggs land gently within the plastic grass, rewarding each and every loyal LIGHTNING SPANGLES fan for believeing in their hero!

The air fills with chanting cries for the young heroine, as love for America's embodiment of wholesome kindness and friendship fills them with HOPE.






...Okay, so Vice President Joe Biden probably shouldn't have been allowed to join in.

Using the distraction and building heat as an opportunity, Pepper Green moves in close enough to the former Lightning Spangles, currently splayed out on a smooshed Katamari and whispers into her ear with a severe tone. "Ya'll got a choice to make right now. We both know Lightning Spangles is supposed to beat the bad guy, so either ya'll make sure you run off with your fluffy tail between your legs or everybody here's going to know that the only reason Lightning Spangles lost was because Jezebel Faiblasse wanted to ruin everything cuz she can't have it."

And then in a flash, it's LIGHTNING SPANGLES standing there again, giving a smile to all the cheering children as she announces. "Ain't no egg rustler going to make trouble for LIGHTNING SPANGLES's deputies as long as the spirit of the great American West lives on!"

What was it that Jezebel was doing?

As the heel comes down, Lightning Spangles comes up. The blast comes in a full explosion, sending both up into the sky along with the katamari. After both comes flying up, the eggs are sent hurtling about, straight back to the kids. Even Joe Biden was getting in on it-

Where is Joe Biden's pants?

As the secret service collects up a pair of pants for the Vice president, The Mysterious Bunny Faux Faux lays splayed out underneath Lightning Spangles. And there, the young girl... lays down the law to Jezebel. The woman's eyes goes wide. SHE KNOWS. And she thinks... she thinks it is because... because she was going to ruin Lightning Spangles. The actress is stunned as Lightning Spangles rises up. As Jezebel comes to a stand, she just... she just stares down at her feet, lips trembling. The dramatic presence was... was gone for a moment. She was lost in her thought, thinking, mulling, considering. She didn't know what she was doing here, other than the orders. Looking up at Lightning Spangles, she takes her steps towards her. "I... I..."

And trembling, Bunny Faux Faux tries to -slap- the fan right across Lightning Spangles' face!

Aaand should that slap land, Jezebel would launch out a quick side kick straight to Lightning Spangles side!

COMBATSYS: Pepper blocks Jezebel's Kick Combo.

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Jezebel          1/-----==/=======|=======\======-\1           Pepper

Lightning Spangles is an image.

A character.

It didn't matter that Lightning Spangles had only won her title belt by sticking off to the side and offering a hand while the other two fighters beat each other up, letting her come in fresh at the end, Lightning Spangles had played the part and won.

It didn't matter that Lightning Spangles hadn't managed to beat Sven Maesters when she'd gone in against the Warwolf for the Worldwide Rookie title: the Warwolf had insulted the crowd and Lightning Spangles had stood up for them.

It also didn't matter why Jezebel Faiblasse was here causing problems under this new persona: Lightning Spangles had to appear as if she was defending the children and the President from this crazy mysterious woman. Pepper Green had to be Lightning Spangles, because her parents had wanted her to take on the role... and now they were gone for good.

This whole fight was stupid. If it had been a proper terrorist, Lightning Spangles could have stood back and let the Secret Service do their job... then talk about how proud she was to see brave Americans standing up to the bad guy. No, this had to be a fight with that mess of a woman playing a /VILLAIN/.

That costume, the taunts, all of it was so stupid that if Lightning Spangles couldn't beat her, then there would be problems. The children would be disillusioned, and all the press that was here for this giant PR event would spread it far and wide. Lightning Spangles was new, recovering from a giant scandal. It couldn't withstand losing to stupid...

...Which is where threats came in. Bunny Faux Faux was absurd, but Jezebel Faiblasse would be the perfect scapegoat. Heroes only get to lose stupid fights like this if there's some dramatic twist.

But Lightning Spangles still had to try.

As the fan came in from the side, LIGHTNING SPANGLES brought gloved hand to intercept it, brushing it aside as she wards off the attempt at a follow up with her sparkly cowbo boots as she makes a quick twist that brings a good deal of distance between her and the "mysterious" Bunny Faux Faux.

"This is your last chance, you loopy jack rabbit! If ya'll don't leave all of LIGHTING SPANGLES' little deputies in peace and high tail it out of here, you're gonna taste some real frontier justice!" Every motion of LIGHTNING SPANGLES' hands now is accompanied by dramatic glittery chi as she settles back into a ready stance, eyes intently focused on Bunny Faux Faux's eyes, waiting to see just what's about to happen. If Jezebel still knows how to play her part, this will all go easily enough, but if she doesn't, she's still got all the cards.

COMBATSYS: Pepper focuses on her next action.

[        \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Jezebel          1/-----==/=======|=======\======-\1           Pepper

There was something wrong.

Jezebel wasn't supposed to be here. She was never supposed to be here. In mere moments, they would ultimately find out who Bunny Faux Faux is. And then she would be arrested. But still, she was taking the pictures, taking the pictures, capturing everything. And she was still the face. But as she faced down Lightning Spangles, Lightning Spangles was.... confronting her in the mirror. Challenging her. Telling her that Lightning Spangles was supposed to win. Lightning Spangles stares her down.

And she begins to laugh.

The laughter was sharp, and struggling. Her eyes were going wider and wider behind the mask. Her pupils were growing smaller. Her smile was so wide, that the lipstick was cracking. The children recoil in terror at the transformation of the woman. Something was happening. Something was breaking through. Obama and company was... getting a little scared themselves too. Joe Biden, however, still pantless, was groping the air. "Um! Um! Uncle Joe loves the crazies!" He belts out. Jezebel looks at Lightning Spangles, striding towards her slowly. And then, she speaks.

"Lightning Spangles, I don't have to follow you anymore."

"I'm not defined... I'm not defined by you, Lightning Spangles. I'm free of you." That was the mantra, the motto. "I'm -free- of you. I'm free. I'don't..." And the seem to water up. "I'm beyond Lighting Spangles! I don't... I don't have to follow the rules anymore. I don't have to follow the rules Lightning Spangles! I'm stronger than you! I'm better than you! And I..." Bunny Faux Faux lowers herself down. Coming to a crouch, she begins to flow with energy. Not red, white, and blue energy, no. But the pure energy of Jezebel, the true energy of Jezebel.

A soul-crushing grey.

The grey energy shudders around her as she surges with the power. With a leap, she takes to the air, leaping hard, leaping high. Power was trailing off her as she bound, taking into a long, slow leap. Drawing her leg around, she arcs it into a powerful aerial roundhouse. She was throwing herself into Lightning Spangles. Throwing herself in the mirror. "I can write this story, Lightning Spangles."

"And I can be the winner!"

COMBATSYS: Pepper counters Fierce Kick EX from Jezebel with Breaking Down Walls.

[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Jezebel          1/--=====/=======|=======\-------\1           Pepper

This is bad.

Pepper Green had been hoping that this was some stupid PR stunt or... something. The best option on the list would have been that the former Lightning Spangles had simply felt the need to be a part of her former life, or felt as if a younger actress taking over the role was an insult and wanted to make her look foolish. As bad as everything at the end of Jezebel Faiblasse's tenure as America's Sweetheart: Lightning Spangles had been, she didn't expect her to have gone off the deep end.

If she were fighting another Lightning Spangles, at the very least Pepper Green could use the hundreds of hours of tape she'd watched to capture the role. If this was really the old Jezebel Faiblasse, she might have had some luck with what she'd managed to collect of her Hong Kong movie days (for some reason movie store clerks hadn't felt comfortable renting some of those to a 14-year-old girl).

Pepper didn't know who she was fighting right now... but she could see that whoever it really was deep inside Bunny Faux Faux, they were trying to do everything they could to actually hurt Pepper... or in this case more likely Lightning Spangles.

The only real advantage Pepper had here is that Bunny Faux Faux didn't seem to know what she was doing, either. A lot of effort and intent, but skill had fallen away in whatever haze it was that had taken over.

"Ain't no way a whacky jack rabbit is gonna pull a fast one on LIGHTNING SPANGLES!" shouts LIGHTNING SPANGLES as she sets her keen eyes on the flying foe, having never let even a flicker of Pepper Green's worry spill past the mask of a hero. This was the moment for something incredible, and so LIGHTNING SPANGLES would have to bring it out.

As Bunny Faux Faux comes rocketing down like a missile, LIGHTNING SPANGLES summons up her courage and stands her ground. It's only at the last second that she twists barely off to the side and loops her arm in around that high-kicking (well low in this case) leg like a lasso and leans back. At the same time, her free elbow is aimed upward, intercepting Jezebel with a low gut hit. Absorbing the intended energy to one side, she starts to rotate, sweeping Bunny Faux Faux along with her and dumping the older woman onto the ground as she sets off a megawatt grin. "And make sure you remember: everyone has to follow the rules, and if they think they don't, LIGHTNING SPANGLES will be here to show them what for!"

Off to the side, pantless Joe lets out an awkward chuckle as he pipes in, "Maybe we should have let that stripper have the eggs, it looks like her's just got scrambled."

This was turning into a nightmare for everyone.

Everyone except Jezebel. She wasn't angry at Pepper. She wasn't enraged by her. She was just worked up by the mask that she wore, the same mask that Jezebel herself once wore. She wanted it to be a part of her life, a part of her past, and a part of her future. She could never abandon the mask for good. But she could change what it meant. She could help Pepper, help her understand the mask. And she could make Lightning Spangles even more incredible than before. She would make Pepper great.


As the kick comes roaring in, the counter-kick catches Jezebel hard, and sends her slamming hard on her back. Groaning, she recoils in pain, rolling a bit. Rolling back upright, the actress keeps her smile burning on her face. "Rules? Hahah! I am past the rules, Lightning Spangles! I'm beyond the rules! Lets see how you handle this from the Mysterious Bunny Fa-"


There is a shrill laughter from Jezebel. It wasn't madness in her heart. It was clarity.

"From Nightmare Spangles."

That was the smooth growl as the woman fires straight back towards Pepper, the woman picking up the attack. Lunging in with her knee, she would try and catch Pepper with her legs into a clinch. If that worked, she would try to grab her with both hands, and seize up the younger girl. And like that, she would whip her around, and then toss her right across the green.

Straight towards the feet of her deputies.

COMBATSYS: Pepper blocks Jezebel's Medium Throw.

[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////                 ]
Jezebel          1/-======/=======|=======\=------\1           Pepper

Pepper Green was an excellent fighter given her age. The number of fourteen year-olds that could stand on any sort of professional level might be low enough to count on one hand.

But she was still just fourteen. Even in the clear throws of some sort of mental break, Jezebel Faiblasse had been fighting for nearly as long as Pepper had been alive, and having to fight against someone who clearly doesn't even really know what they're doing when you're outmatched in experience takes its toll.

Lightning Spangles had been going all out, and Pepper was starting to feel it. She had to start pacing Spangles if she wanted to bring this out the way the story was supposed to go. There would be opportunities to go big, right now she had to hope that Jezebel just wouldn't be able to use whatever revelation she just had to actually start fighting with her real skill.

First things first. As Nightmare Spangles came flying in at LIGHTNING SPANGLES, the young starlet of the small screen loosens up. She doesn't have time to get out of the way with Jezebel's long legs, so instead she rolls with it, letting Nightmare send her flying only for her to hit the ground rolling, twist about to catch the heels of her boots on the grass, and skid to a stop on her feet in front of her fans in a relatively dramatic fashion that limits the grass stains her costume picks up.

"When it comes to nightmares, any little buckaroo should know that all they have to do is plug in their LIGHTNING SPANGLES nightlight and I'll be watching over them as they dream of a good time rodeo!" LIGHTNING SPANGLES retaliates with incredible product placement. "And if you need something to hold on to when you think there might be a monster under your bed, the LIGHTNING SPANGLES Best Buddy doll will help you squeeze your fears away!"

Off to the side, pausing as he attempts to flee from a pair of Secret Service agents armed with a pair of pants, Pantless Joe pipes in, "And if you want, you can peek up her skirt, you know! But they didn't model everything, so you might need to do some kitbashing... or buy the knockoffs from Taiwan."

Ignoring all of that, LIGHTNING SPANGLES flies back into the fray, charging down on Nightmare Spangles with such speed that it's like her feet are on fire. As she drops in low and launches a vicious rising boot heel aimed right for Jezebel's neck, it becomes pretty apparent that in the drama of the moment, she must have actually summoned up flames of energy to enhance the whole scene that linger long enough to to the righteous blow.

COMBATSYS: Pepper successfully hits Jezebel with Heavy Kick.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////                ]
Jezebel          2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\1           Pepper

Oh that Uncle Joe.

As the secret service escorts the Vice President away, Nightmare Spangles herself continues to bring pressure down on the poor young Lightning Spangles. Throwing into the clinch, she manages to get the throw going, only for the girl to tumble with the throw. "Hmph! Tumbling will get you nowhere, Lightning Spangles!" Jezebel coos out. She loved this. She loved this role, and she loved Lightning Spangles. Following after Pepper, she was surprised as the young girl wakes up with a straight kick to the throat. Trying to catch the blow, she is just to slow as she catches it in her neck instead, the blast of energy knocking her airborne to boot. Nightmare Spangles lands squarely on her back again. And almost immediately, she responds.


The laughter comes out again as Nightmare Spangles surges back up into a stand once again. Every time she got knocked down, the bruises on her naked skin grew darker and darker. Her neck was black and red. And yet, she was still lurching forward, lurching ahead like a ghost. "Your high-quality Lightning Spangles Nightlights might keep the boogieman away Lightning Spangles!" Nightmare Spangles states, as she unleashes a straight kick of her own, aiming upwards to knock her skyward. And if it connects? She would leap into the air, to unleash a second kick to knock Lightning Spangles right down into the White House turf.

And keep her foot on her, to pin her down on her back.

COMBATSYS: Pepper endures Jezebel's Thrust Kick!

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////                     ]
Jezebel          1/----<<</<<<<<<<|=======\====---\1           Pepper

This is going to hurt.

Pepper Green knows that what Lightning Spangles is about to do is absurd, but she can't stop without breaking character. In the face of impossible odds, the hero must do the impossible! She just hopes that this actually works...

All she has to do is ignore the fact that Pepper Green can't do this. She's not Pepper Green right now, she's LIGHTNING SPANGLES!

Burying everything that isn't LIGHTNING SPANGLES in the protective warmth of certainty, LIGHTNING SPANGLES simply stares down the approaching storm with a grin on her face. Even before the first hit comes, tendrils of crackling eletric energy are coiling their way along her forearms, twisting tighter and tighter like springs ready to unleashed.

LIGHTNING SPANGLES doesn't even try to avoid that hit that sends her rocketing up into the air, calm in the knowledge that LIGHTNING SPANGLES can't lose at a moment like this. She doesn't even seem to flinch as Nightmare Spangles takes to the air for a follow-up hit aiming to bury her in the lawn.

And the second she takes the hit, she refuses to acknowledge the pain, instead letting out a sharp laugh as her hands fly forward, electric tendrils filling the air between her and Nightmare Spangles, sizzling with energy as they lash out in an effort to wrap around any limb or body part they can find, crackling along Jezebel's exposed flesh.

"You might have thought you had LIGHTNING SPANGLES beat, but you forgot all about my LIGHTNING LARIAT!" LIGHTNING SPANGLES cries as she brings her hands together, clasping then tight around each of the strings of chi, twisting about in midair in pure disregard for how reality is supposed to work in this moment as she uses her energy ropes to swing Jezebel /ahead of her/ in the fall to the grass with an incredible moment of pure thrill.

...And then she hits the ground herself.

It really hurts, but in the moment, LIGHTNING SPANGLES just doesn't believe it hurts that much.

COMBATSYS: Pepper successfully hits Jezebel with Superstar.
-**- LUNATIC HIT!! -**-

[                      \\\\\\\\  < >  /////////                     ]
Jezebel          2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|===----\-------\0           Pepper

"The Lightning Lariat?!"

The was the response from Nightmare Spangles as she recovers from her fierce assault. Striking a pose, she stares down her opponent from behind her current mask. Eyes wide, she keeps that mad grin across her face as the electric tendrils fill the air between her and Lightning Spangles. Nightmare Spangles hurls herself into them, trying to battle against them. The long lightning tentacles lash out, capturing her thighs, her arms, even her neck and head. The tentacles jerk apart hard, and then, helpless in the electric limbs of Lightning Spangles. With the sudden tug, helpless in Lightning Spangles grasp, Nightmare Spangles is sent hurtling to the ground, face-first."Gaaaaaah!" Was her scream.

And there, Nightmare Spangles lays.

There is silence. A long, painful silence. Jezebel lays facedown in the grass. Every camera was on Lightning Spangles now, everything focused on Lightning Spangles. But in the backdrop of the greatest American hero, her opponent was in the background. Lying there. Defeated by the purest American power there was in the entire United States of the world. And yet, as everything keeps trained on Pepper, Nightmare Spangles slowly, steadily lifts her head up from the grass...

COMBATSYS: Jezebel gives y'all a free turn!

[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Pepper           0/-------/----===|

COMBATSYS: Jezebel can no longer fight.

[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Pepper           0/-------/----===|

Before falling back down, the fight utterly escaping her.

A smile still fixed on her face.

Even if she doesn't believe it hurts, LIGHTNING SPANGLES still has to contend with her body not entirely believing her. It's a slow process, but LIGHTNING SPANGLES finally manages to push up to her feet again, her costume marked with dirt and grass stains, and the early signs of serious bruises along with faint trickles of blood suggest that the intense smile on the cowpoke's face isn't the whole story.

"When a mean-spirited rustler tries to ruin the fun for all of LIGHTNING SPANGLES' little pardners, they've picked a fight with the wrong sheriff!" LIGHTNING SPANGLES manages as she secures her facade over every screaming nerve ending telling Pepper Green to rest and seek help. "Especially not when that bad news wannabe is threatening to ruin a good old American hoedown at the White House!"

Cheers erupt from the crowd as what most people still believe to have been an arranged event seems to come to a close. All of the children cheer and swarm their hero, LIGHTNING SPANGLES. It takes a bit more time for President Barack Obama to siddle his way over after having a few quiet, annoyed words with the Secret Service agents about getting someone at Disney fired for this shit show.

"Thank you so much, Lightning Spangles for, ahhh, making sure that this event isn't ruined by an un-American party pooper. You truly are, uhhh, the sort of young hero that will make America's future great," The president says as he moves in to shake LIGHTNING SPANGLES's hand, turning just in time to make all of the photographers get a shot of the heroic LIGHTNING SPANGLES and him surrounded by excited young American children.

COMBATSYS: Pepper has ended the fight here.

Log created on 16:18:45 03/25/2016 by Jezebel, and last modified on 16:21:47 03/28/2016.