SNF 2015.10 - SNF: Cracker Jack vs. Senna

Description: SNF: Cracker Jack and Senna do battle on the rapids of the Appalachians. Cracker Jack is saved from going over a waterfall by Senna, after being knocked out, much to fan applause. Cracker Jack proves yet again that he takes SNF too seriously after an attempt to drown Senna, twice.


"What the fuck. What. The. Fuck."

The bare-knuckle boxer, fresh from a run, is staring at the oblong package delivered to her door and the note taped atop it, indicating it was sent by the good folks at Saturday Night Fights.

Pulling the note off, she reads it through, repeating the three earlier words like a mantra.

"When will these things just be regular fights...?" She shakes her head. Well, she signed up, and... she needs to pay the rent, right? So... she's gonna have to pack this thing off to the Nantahala River.

<< NOW >>

Senna hauls the kayak, slung over her shoulder, and tosses it unceremnoiously to the ground, on a relatively flat piece of rock. "The. Fuck," she mutters, to herself, looking at the sharp rocks and the rapids. She's supposed to fight in *this*? How? Shaking her head, she unpacks the kayak and looks around.

Cracker Jack is a little more wealthy than your average fighter, with the Western Pro Belt in his possession and all the shameless self-promotion for questionable endorsements that the combination of Jack and fame come with. He's been camped out in the woods for a few days with some Shadaloo soldiers, his favorite trainees from drill. They've been out here, with beer, tents, a trailer, and a number of assault rifles long enough to attract some attention from the local wildlife. That's why Cracker Jack has a dead bear tied to a tree trunk with bungee cords, presently working the dead animal over with his bare fists. He's from Vegas, he doesn't know how to camp, but he's pretty sure killing a bear keeps the other bears away with fear! He also doesn't know that bears come bigger out on the Pacific Coast, so he's pretty impressed with himself. As a timer goes off, he grabs his kayak and hefts it to the appointed spot, setting it down and staring across the river at Senna. He picks up his double-headed oar, and grins as he tips it off into the water, sitting down in it. "Ready to go?" he shouts over the dull thrush of the rapids.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack has started a fight here.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack is now aboard the red kayak!

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Senna has joined the fight here.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0            Senna

COMBATSYS: Senna is now aboard the yellow kayak!

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0        [E] Senna

There are many fighters who are more successful than Senna. But she's kept out of the spotlight for various reasons, some of her own making, some not. She's used to living a hardscrabble life--in some ways, she secretly enjoys it. Certainly she enjoys certain aspects of it, the rough and tumble, the danger... there's an undeniable thrill to it all. She doesn't look overly impressed at Cracker Jack, really, though she gives the distinct impression that being impressed isn't in her wheelhouse at all; as the timer marches down, she picks up her own oar and slides her kayak into the water before getting in.

She looks resolute and a little... annoyed, though certainly this can be attributed to the fact that she's just been signed up to fight a fight down a river rapids. "Yeah, let's get this over with," she grunts, as she pushes off into the water. She isn't a kayaker, but being a natural athlete it only takes her a little bit to come to grips with some sort of facility with the kayak. By that time the fight is on, cameras following the two kayaks down the river as Senna immediately begins moving. She has, at least, some small advantage in that her fighting style doesn't use her legs--she isn't handicapped by the lack of it. Swinging her kayak in towards her opponent, she manuevers her paddle around to the other side as she nears, swinging in and attempting to clock him in the head with a simple hooking right punch to the temple.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Senna's Hook Punch.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack pushes off from the shore of his side of the river, and immediately runs into problems. He wobbles back and forth as he thrashes his paddles about, struggling to get a rhythm up as he grits his teeth in horror. His hat is secure over his eyes, so you can't see the sheer panic and terror as he careens through the cold, cold waters. He was born and raised in an oasis paradise, not out in the forests and mountains of the American East. As his kayak brings him towards Senna, the champ sees the punch coming and leans to the side, nearly toppling his kayak as he gets slugged in his raised shoulder instead of his temple, jamming the paddle down into the stone riverbed to avoid being completely toppled. He bounces back upright after struggling with his paddle, snarling at Senna. "Not bad for a no-name!"

He props his paddle up against the yellow kayak, and pushes the two of them apart, so he can get some breathing room. His attention briefly turns to his immediate fore, as he nearly crashes into a huge rock sticking out of the river, maneuvering around it with a little more confidence. He needs to equalize this fight, fast, or else he'll look like a total fool. Gaining some confidence with the paddle, he jerks back into close range with Senna, and then lashes out with his fist to the side twice, both shots aimed at her upper arm in an attempt to make her paddling and punching hurt with a fast charlie horse. He's well aware he's being filmed, and has to make this look good. And it's not just the teenagers hooked on his cigarettes watching, nor even the steel workers drinking his beer. It's Shadaloo, his subordinates and his superiors, and even maybe Lord Vega himself! That's an excellent motivator to a little fish in a big pond like Jack.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack successfully hit Senna with Double Punch.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-----==|====---\-------\0        [E] Senna

Two solid *thuds* announce Cracker Jack's successful punches, as does the spray of white water that accompanies the sudden veering of the yellow kayak away. Temporarily, Senna loses her balance--but she regains it soon enough, grimacing. He hits hard--but she should've expected that. He *looks* like he hits hard. Senna's no slouch but she clearly lacks in pure bulk compared to Cracker Jack--not that that's ever stopped her before.

Swerving back in, she locks her paddle into the ring on the far side of the kayak from Jack, both so as not to lose it and to free her hands up for the next attack. Using her body weight, she leans into the turn, tilting her kayak dangerously, almost slamming it into Jack's as she nears--pulling herself upright, a moment later her left fist is flashing at Jack in a pepperbox spray of jabs, a shotgun-like flurry that ends with her twisting to fire a straight punch from her right, twisting her body into it briefly.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Senna's Shotgun Driver.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/----===|=====--\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack sees the yellow kayak and its occupant streaking across the rapids at him, and steers his red kayak straight onto a collision course! At the last moment, he props his kayak upwards, so he slices over Senna's boat. As he's given a substantial boost in height over the bare knuckled pugilist, he raises his arms and lets the jabs get deflected by his elbows and biceps, the paddle held in the middle of his head huddle. Then, as the straight punch comes, he takes the blow right to the center of his face, the fist sneaking right through his forearms and smacking him in the nose. Senna can feel a click as his jaw slides sideways, accompanied a fraction of a moment later by his head slinging left.

As his boat mounts hers, he drops the paddle to the grip of one hand, as the other hand lashes out with the back of his fist. It's a sudden, fast, well practiced manuever, Cracker Jack so caught up in the moment that he's completely oblivious to the rapids that the entangled boats are heading down. Since he's higher in the water, it could easily mean he gets dumped if Senna is smart, lucky, or just aggressive. Still, the chance to pulverize her is too tempting to pass up! The river bends up ahead, heading for "The Quarry" and all its multiple rocks and pathways.

COMBATSYS: Senna blocks Cracker Jack's Turn Punch.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/----===|======-\-------\0        [E] Senna

No room to dodge--Senna's kayak is right up next to his and there just isn't the leeway. Fortunately her arms are free already; pulling them back she brings her arms up in a classic boxing block, that backfist smacking solidly into them and separating the two craft slightly. That... stung, as she knew it would. But there's no time to think--she leans hard to her left and veers around another outcropping, then drops her paddle into the water, using the drag to spin herself back around towards her opponent.

She's coming in at an angle, and, whipping her paddle out of the water to halt her spin, she's struck with an idea--and just helicopters the paddle around her head as she closes in on Jack. Yeah, it's a rubber-paddled oar, but it's heavy, tough, *hard* rubber. If she hits right? It'll *hurt*. She doesn't have a Lord Vega to impress, or anyone else but herself, although 'prospective employers' might see this so she does have to acquit herself well...

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack fails to deflect Paddle Whack from Senna with Batting Hero.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack sees the spinning paddle coming, and raises his own paddle to block it. He manages to deflect the initial strike, but finds his paddle knocked away by the continued spins by Senna, who has superior position thanks to her skill with the rapids. She's certainly adapted faster than he. He's knocked backwards and slapped across the face, his hat flying off and dropping in the water. "Is that all you -- !!" He looks to his left and sees an incoming rock. He slams right into it as he goes flying out of his kayak, now dragged through the seizing currents gasping and choking for air as he struggles to grab his kayak and paddle. His suit gets torn up by the jagged rocks around him, and he may just have gotten a minor concussion from impacting his head on one of the boulders. "HRRRGH!" he gurgles, clawing at Senna's kayak in vain. His eyes are bugging out, and he's clearly scared mindless.

That worked way better than she expected. Like, -way- better. She actually lets out a bark, a laugh as he goes flying, because that shit is pretty funny--until he surfaces on her kayak, grabbing for it and clawing at it. Well, shit. Now it's not just a matter of winning the fight--she doesn't want to go down with him pulling at her kayak! "Holy shit, fucker!!" she shouts, instinctively reverting to form--and just slapping at Jack with the blades of her paddle. This is even harder to do than the previous attack--the helicoptering paddle was at least partially aerodynamic, but now she's fighting the bucking rapids, a rapidly destabilizing kayak, *and* Jack, and doing so with a paddle that is not designed to cut through the air in the way she's swinging it.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack dodges Senna's Random Weapon.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack gurgles and spits and thrashes around as the paddle is jabbed at him over and over again, being submerged by the prods and thrusts and whacks. He manages to grab his paddle out of the churning waters and uses it to grab his kayak as he doggypaddles to his boat. Swimming skills picked up in casino pools, not as useless as he once thought!

He tips the kayak back upright and climbs aboard, now soaked and covered in lacerations. His slick hair in his eyes, he wipes the brown tangle to one side, baring his teeth at Senna. His kayak, now behind hers just a pace due to traveling without him and upside down for about half a minute there, surges forward as he paddles. As he gets close to her, he thrusts his paddle like a spear, aiming at the base of her neck from behind. "HAH!"

COMBATSYS: Senna dodges Cracker Jack's Aggressive Strike.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-======|=======\-------\1        [E] Senna

That... was a pretty excellent manuever. Senna watches Jack disappear again and wonders, for a moment, if she managed to dislodge him--if he's going down the river without a paddle, so to speak. Then...

Then she *feels* something and lunges forward, laying her body *on* her kayak as that paddle whistles past where her head was. She'd never attribute anything she does to any sort of mystical battle sense or anything like that, but sometimes there's no discounting instinct. Dropping her paddle into the water again, she uses it like a post, spinning herself around to face Jack. Now he's got the high ground--er, water--and Senna's gonna have to get creative to regain momentum. Sliding backwards, she spots another outcropping and reaches out, snagging it with her left hand--using it to perform a sort of bootleg turn. It cuts her hand up some, but the pain is sharp and familiar, nothing new, as she comes in once more--this time using her entire kayak as a weapon. Her intent is, quite simply, to ram Jack's kayak with her own, trusting in what she has been told was a reinforced prow.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Senna's Ramming Speed!.

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Cracker Jack [E] 1/-------/=======|-------\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack gets rammed by the reinforced prow of Senna's kayak, his own kayak slicing right and exposing him to a blow to the body, although he diverts the worst of it with his gloved right hand, holding the kayak at bay after it strikes him. Wheezing from the blow to his stomach and ribs, he jams his paddle under Senna's kayak like a lever, just before the two of them go over a small waterfall. "Should've watched where you were going, bitch!" he shouts, laughing, as the two go over the waterfall together and down the difficult rapids, Jack focusing on making it through them as he hopes Senna goes flying. The cresting currents bouncing off the rocks spray water in his eyes as he squints through the maelstrom of surging hydro, Jack breathing heavily as he gets his wind back.

COMBATSYS: Senna blocks Cracker Jack's Ramming Speed!.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|==-----\-------\0        [E] Senna

Whoa! Jack certainly was right about that. Senna flails, landing *hard* at the bottom of the waterfall, nearly getting thrown out of her kayak but just managing to stay in. Swinging her kayak around she seeks out her opponent and finds him a moment later. She's winded, too, but committed. If only because he just called her a bitch. I mean, she *is*, but that doesn't mean she has to like *hearing* it. Surging forward, she aims her kayak to slide in just next to Jack's, at speed, whereupon she'll launch her own version of a double punch, hammering her right fist around in a double hook combination. They've both been remarkably resilient--she'll just have to outlast this guy.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack endures Senna's Double Hammer.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-----==|==-----\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack lands at the bottom of the brief waterfall unscathed, as the water begins to whirl around in a circle, at "The Whirlpool". He sees her slide in next to him, and tosses his paddle aside as the two boats begin spinning around the center of the whirlpool. As she punches him in the face, hard, and twice, he grabs her, blood splattering out of his nose as one of his eyebrows gets cut, bleeding over his eye. "RRRRGH!" he growls, as he attempts to yank her out of her kayak by her neck and arm, lift her in the air atop his wobbling kayak, before throwing her right into a rock. His muscles flex as he does this, veins sticking out on his arms as his eyes bulge in rage.

COMBATSYS: Senna blocks Cracker Jack's Cyclone Toss.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/---====|====---\-------\0        [E] Senna

Well, hell. Man's really angry now. Senna is grabbed--and has to act fast. His grip is powerful, crushing, but she manages to lock her hands on his arms, mitigating the impact somewhat--it's jarring, but altering the momentum saves her from a busted spine or worse, though her teeth clack together and she bites her tongue from the impact. She's got to *end* this, now, or it's going to be bad. She has to reach down into herself, grab for energy she isn't sure she has... to find it somewhere.

"That's ENOUGH!" she shouts, her voice a little thickened by the fact that her tongue is swollen a bit from just having been bitten, and she strikes out--rapidly. Her left fist flashes out in a hooking punch aimed for just under Jack's jaw, and then she continues the combination with a short right uppercut, completing the withering, brief assault with a left uppercut smash--instead of aiming the punch straight up, it comes at a diagonal up angle.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Senna's Jolt Hammer.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack keeps his grip on her by the hair as she weathers the impact into the rocks, wrestling and grappling through the combination, staying in close so she can't get her arms to full extension. The blows clobber his face, but he stares at her, eye to eye, snarling like an animal. There's no words, now, as he yanks her forward, trying to get her out of her kayak, then use his handful of short hair and scalp to shove her head underwater, his large hand squeezing her skull as if it was a melon, as his other hand grabs at her wrist in an attempt to pin it against the boat. As they approach the town, the end of the rapids, there's brief cheers, before they go silent, as they see that Cracker Jack is trying to drown his opponent. And then, of course, after the town, the falls into the lake. Cracker Jack is curiously to see what it feels like going over a waterfall that high, so he's in no rush for time.

COMBATSYS: Senna dodges Cracker Jack's Power Throw.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0        [E] Senna

Senna is used to violence. She lives a violent life, even outside the ring; making her home in Metro City, particularly in the *worse* parts of Metro City, means that you either have to be tough or submissive to survive. One guess as to which she is. Jack forces her head towards the water, and she has to respond. She responds even more violently, twisting, wrenching her head free of his grip in a violent motion that looks, to some, like she's trying to break her own neck--and maybe she nearly does. Oddly, she doesn't *begrudge* him trying to drown her. All's fair in war, after all. (She doesn't know anything about love.) That doesn't mean she's just gonna take it. Yeah she loses some hair to him, but whatever--hair'll grow back. Lacerations will heal. And once again she assaults Jack, giving as good as she's getting, hammering away with her right fist repeatedly, her strong arm, unleashing a barrage of short hook punches into his head and body with the one hand, keeping her left up as much as she can. It's just about time for this to end--one way or the other.

COMBATSYS: Senna blitzes into action and acts again!

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/--=====|===----\-------\0        [E] Senna

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Senna's Hook Punch.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0        [E] Senna

COMBATSYS: Senna successfully hits Cracker Jack with Medium Punch.

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Cracker Jack [E] 1/-------/=======|====---\-------\0        [E] Senna

As Senna forces her way away from the churning waters below them as they pass through town, moving under the shadow of a bridge briefly, Cracker Jack takes the two shots, one bouncing off his ear as he squirms away, the second smashing into his jaw as he struggles with the Thai lady. Bloody, his eyes half-lidded but angry, he growls as he grabs at the paddle floating down the river and attempts to jump onto her kayak from his own, abandoning it and jamming the center of the small oar forward across her neck in an attempt to choke her that probably knocks the pair out of their kayaks. And there's a dull roar in the background, as they approach the falls. The people are shouting and cheering, but there's a few warnings from the more conscientous fans too, that don't want to see both of them take a dive that is more than too high to be safe. Even for a veteran swimmer.

COMBATSYS: Senna blocks Cracker Jack's Grand Slam Crusher.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-------|=====--\-------\0        [E] Senna

It's fortunate that Senna doesn't need her paddle anymore; she's able to drop it and throw her hands up to catch Jack's paddle in her own. Her arms are strong but the inferior position means she can't keep him off her completely. She's struggling with him, arms straining, the vicious bruise she got from Jack's first punches blossoming floridly on her upper arm. "RRRGH!!" she shouts, and though she's a boxer and not used to throwing people, there are some things that are almost instinctual, twisting her upper body to the right as she twists her hips to the left, trying to throw Jack off her kayak. This definitely got more serious--she can tell that Jack would actually kill her--maybe not on a televised match but she can feel the killer instinct in him.

COMBATSYS: Senna successfully hits Cracker Jack with Medium Throw.

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Cracker Jack [E] 0/-------/-----==|======-\-------\0        [E] Senna

Cracker Jack is thrown off the kayak at full force, sinking into the water briefly as the rushing waters that flow through town overtake him. His tie drifts up to the surface, perhaps his only grave. Then, suddenly, he explodes out of the water behind Senna and attempts to wrap his arms around her, right before they go over the edge of the river at the end of town. He launches himself forward at the waterfall, hoping to drag Senna with him by any handhold he can find. If not, he falls over alone.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack can no longer fight.

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Senna [E]        0/-------/-======|

COMBATSYS: Senna dodges Cracker Jack's Strong Throw.

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Senna [E]        0/-------/-======|

Senna can't say why she does what she does. Once again she ducks that grab, but as she pulls back up, she grabs for Jack. She doesn't want to see him go over the waterfall--she can't say why. Maybe she just doesn't want to be a killer on TV, even though it's just as likely he might survive. She isn't really altruistic in any way--she isn't thinking about him. More than likely it's jusr reflex. She manuevers her kayak to wedge it against an outcropping, and, whether she has Jack--by the collar or the arm or whatnot--she shouts, in a hoarse, tired, but strong voice, "OKAY WE'RE DONE, GET US THE <<BLEEEEEEP>> OUT OF HERE!!"

It's safe to say she is *not* a fan of riding the rapids. Especially while *fighting*.

Log created on 19:38:21 10/24/2015 by Cracker Jack, and last modified on 23:17:01 10/24/2015.