SNF 2015.05 - BLITZ: Enforcer? I Barely Met Her!

Description: In the maze of JOUST, Cracker Jack meets up with the MMA girl Mila! Will this be a dance to remember or will someone be JOUST-ing to victory? (WINNER: Draw)

At the SNF Megamaze Blitz, a new technology has been debuted in the chaotic contest - the JOUST rod, a microreactor driven weapon that projects forcefields for extra damage. Placed in different weapons, the JOUST is an SNF trade secret that everyone wants a piece of. Including Vega! Cracker Jack has been entered in the SNF, a relative Shadaloo unknown, to steal a JOUST and get out of the stadium with it, to bring it back to Lord Vega. If it can avoid it exploding in his hand from overusing it!

At the south exit, Cracker Jack is in a dead run through the Megamaze, having made it this far through about three opponents, all of whom he took down with slide tackles before moving past instead of letting them challenge him. He's not here for the prize money; the real prize, to him, is the JOUST rod he holds in his hands. And since the rod is just like a baseball bat, he can use it pretty well, if he needs to. He pushes his back up against a wall, near the exit, about a half a soccer field away from it. He peers around the corner, switching the JOUST rod on and looking for an opponent to test it on, to see if it's worth Shadaloo's time to steal and ruin Cracker Jack for tournament competition at SNF for the forseeable future.

Meanwhile, Mila, a young optimistic MMA fighter, has found herself in the maze as well. Although she wasn't here for the purpose of stealing technology, but rather here for a fight. Isn't that why everyone else is here? Apparently, Cracker Jack is going to find that there's someone here who's going to be an unwitting test subject. Of course, for Mila, that means just another day of sparring against an unknown opponent. The prize money means nothing to her either, since it's all about the thrill of the fight that really keeps her going in life. She's gotten more than enough money in the MMA circuit as well as through her job as a waitress. So when she encounters Cracker Jack, she can only stop and stare in disbelief.

"Who are you?" She asks, looking a tad bit suspicious as she points at him. "What are you doing here and why are you carrying THAT thing? Don't you know that's for the fighters to use?" She folds her arms and hmmphs, before getting into her fighting stance as if anticipating things going a bit downhill fast.

Cracker Jack's mouth slides into a slick grin. "Well well well...If it isn't a pretty pussy..." he mutters to himself, stepping out from the wall and cocking his hat to the side with his thumb. "Howdy there, miss. The name is Jack. I'm here to acquire this here fancy JOUST rod for my master, Kentucky Fried Chicken. They want to see if they can use it to kill the chickens faster. Right now, they use a complex machine made out of gears and ramshafts, and it takes two seconds too many to lower the price on the wings by a quarter." He begins circling, swinging the rod in his hand, tossing it from side to side. He slaps it into his open left palm, feeling the thrum and seeing the flash as it bounces off his glove. "Ooh, nice. This thing is fancy. I'm sure KFC will love giving these out to the kids." He grins crookedly, as he watches her, placing his left hand against the side of his head and cracking his neck.

"You're with Kentucky Fried Chicken?!" Mila can only shake her head in disbelief. "And you're going to kill chickens with that thing?" She grits her teeth, a true contrast from the usually cheerful and upbeat woman who likes to focus on a good fight. "Shame on you! You're just a thief who cares about better tasting chicken it seems. I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson!" She claps her fist against her open hand and rolls her neck around a little. "And I'll tell you right now, weapons aren't going to work on a fighter who knows how to strike where it hurts!"

This is definitely a change for Mila, as she's not the type of person to get angry so easily, but apparently killing chickens and stealing things isn't the right thing to do with Mila. She attempts to catch Cracker Jack off-guard and clothesline him as she rushes in quickly.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Mila's Jab Punch.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0             Mila

"Kentucky Fried Chicken is just the day job, man," Cracker Jack retorts, as she rushes in. He brings up his left arm to block the clothesline as his legs shift backwards, grunting at the light impact against his forearm. He lifts his arm up as he attempts to open up Mila's guard, his left hand twisting around to see if he can grab her wrist. "At night time, I'm a professional escort to rich women. I take them out to casinos..." He then swings the rod in at Mila's left leg, the JOUST rod humming through the air as he attempts to take her down to the ground with the combination maneuver. "Dancing, ballrooms, you know. It's expensive. And then, at the end of the night?" He narrows his eyes, nearly hidden by his head. "I give them a kiss on the cheek, and they go home swooning."

COMBATSYS: Mila counters Power Hunter from Cracker Jack with Rolling Arm Lock.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0             Mila

"Maybe you should stick with your regular job then," Mila comments with a scowl, watching as Cracker Jack comes at her. That hat may look nice on his head, but it's not gonna do much to protect him if Mila has anything to say about it. Because as Jack comes at her with the rod, Mila literally spins around to behind Jack, then grabs him from behind. And then she rolls forwards, onto the ground, landing in a supine position with Jack beside her. And Mila has one of his arms as well! What will happen now.

"Though that might be a little tough now," She adds, as she wrenches his arm. "Now that you've only got one good arm." She rolls back onto her feet, barely even fazed by that last technique. "And you know what they say: It takes two to tango!"

Cracker Jack emits a howl of rage as he's scooped up into the air and has his swanky black shoes cast into the air above him. He's hoisted over Mila's back and slammed down to the ground, his left arm cranked and then wrenched, his left hand shaking, then going limp in a bizarre position. "You little bitch!" he curses in a rage, tremors of pain shooting up the nerves on his left arm into his shoulder and chest. Sucking in air through his teeth, he gets back to his feet with the JOUST rod, stronlgy favoring his right, and jams the JOUST rod at Mila's chest with a force poke, the field around the rod flickering.

"C'mon! Let's see you dance! C'MON!" he shouts, his left hand clenched into a fist as he attempts to wrench his arm back into the proper position, to no avail, his shoulder dislocated.

COMBATSYS: Mila blocks Cracker Jack's Aggressive Strike.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/-======|===----\-------\0             Mila

"Dance? Sorry, but I prefer to lead! And I'm not even dressed for dancing!" Mila comments, noting that she's dressed rather casually instead of in a dress and heels, what she'd prefer to wear for a dance with a man. Then the rod comes at her and she attempts to take a defensive stance as the rod comes at her. She sucks in her stomach and tightens it as if to protect herself as best as she can. The rod hurts quite a bit, unfortunately, even in a defensive stance, and she gasps loudly, stumbling back as she attempts to catch her breath. "What IS that thing?" She asks herself, shaking her body out to get the tingling out.

"And furthermore, that's not how a lady dances with a--" Mila pauses as she realizes something. "I stand corrected, YOU'RE no gentleman! I may not be a lady, true, but you could NEVER be a gentleman!" Mila steps forwards then attempts to drive her point home with a roundhouse kick.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Mila's Medium Kick.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/=======|===----\-------\0             Mila

Cracker Jack jumps into the air as the roundhouse comes at him, letting her heel slam into his left leg and knock him backwards. He lands with a grunt, his leg smarting, but he's still just fine. "That's how we dance in the caged circle, honey buns! Now let's do a little tango! Or maybe el meringue la mancha!" He shakes his crotch and gyrates his chest back and forth, before he rushes in with a quick dash. The bat lashes out at Mila's shoulder as he attempts to slam it into her bicep and sap her reserve to fight. "Como estas, la pancho villa! Quixote curachas, el blanco flaminco!"

His hat is still on his head, tipped downwards to keep his eyes hidden. Maybe you should knock it off?

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack successfully hit Mila with Dashing Straight.

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Cracker Jack     1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1             Mila

Right now, the biggest issue is the fact that the bat hit Mila's shoulder, while she was busy glaring at Cracker Jack as he shook his crotch and gyrated his chest. Obviously a gesture intended to be noticed. One Mila doesn't like. And Jack should also know that Mila speaks Spanish quite well, so she understood what he said. Once she's recovered from the impact, Mila rubs at her shoulder and glares at Jack. Obviously, she's pretty peeved now since she's speaking Spanish as well. "No estoy de humor para bailar!" She responds in fluent Spanish.

"Usted debe estar más preocupado por su sombrero!" She adds as she goes in with a unique uppercut type of attack. She goes down low, then pops up quickly, rising up with an uppercut aimed at Jack's chin. It's not as flashy as the Dragon Punch, but it still packs a punch!

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack blocks Mila's Long Upper.

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Cracker Jack     1/-----==/=======|=======\-------\1             Mila

Cracker Jack begins to backpedal as he sees the intent of an uppercut form, his eyes opening wide. Then, as the fist comes up, he performs a rapid backflip, the fist hitting his sternum. The impact sends him rocketing backwards and to the ground in a crouch as he completes an aerial somersault, his mangled left arm making it uneven, as he stumbles to his side. "I'm about finished with you." He snaps his left arm back into place with a groan, and stands up, beginning to stalk towards Mila. He's moving slowly, but surely, as he zones in on her, left hand reaching for her. His left arm is still not one hundred percent, but it's enough to grab and hold her if he gets within reach. "Bad, bad girl! BAD GIRL!" he shouts, swinging his JOUST rod at her legs as he clutches her. "I am SICK and TIRED of you, girl! Let me show you some MANNERS!" he shouts.

COMBATSYS: Mila blocks Cracker Jack's Lazy Buffalo.

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Cracker Jack     0/-------/------=|=======\=====--\1             Mila

Manners may not be on the list of things for Mila to do, but recovering quite quickly is another, as she attempts another defensive stance, but it barely does her any good as she finds herself dropping to the ground, looking a tad bit limp. She struggles to recover, but finds herself running out of breath too quickly. For a moment, she thinks she's going to pass out, but then her body and mind reconnect, and she forces herself back onto her feet, albeit with a lot of difficulty. Once she does so, she tries to assume her fighting stance, but one can tell she's having trouble.

"You're sick and tired of ME? How do you think I feel?!" She advances on Jack. "It's time I taught YOU how to treat a girl like me!" She attempts to throw a punch at Cracker Jack's stomach. If successful, the initial blow should stun him long enough for Mila to launch a series of punches, before sending him flying with one final punch!

COMBATSYS: Mila successfully hits Cracker Jack with Gatling Power Blow.

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Cracker Jack     1/------=/=======|==-----\-------\0             Mila

Cracker Jack gets punched right in the stomach, puking up a mouthful of blood, before he's pushed backwards by a flurry of blows, then a last punch that makes him go crashing into a wall as his hat goes flying off his head. He stands back up, using the JOUST rod as a crutch for a moment, as he runs his gloved left hand through his long brown hair, looking at Mila with his electric blue eyes. "We got off to the wrong foot. Sorry, but I'm here on business." He hefts the JOUST rod up and dashes forward, aimed to run at the exit, and smash Mila to the ground with a sword swing of the JOUST rod in the process. "Peace!"

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack successfully hit Mila with Grand Slam Crusher.

[                       \\\\\\\  < >  /                             ]
Cracker Jack     0/-------/------=|=======\==-----\1             Mila

Mila is hit by the JOUST rod, and it hurts quite a bit. So bad, in fact, that Mila finds herself staggering and feeling like the victim of that fateful attack that leaves you staggering and about to fall to the ground of the octagon while your opponent is declared the winner by knockout. But in no way is Mila about to let Jack off that easily. She attempts to rush at him and leap on top of him. If she can somehow do this, she'll wrap her legs around his neck... then let herself pass out while taking Jack with her to the ground!

COMBATSYS: Mila can no longer fight.

[                       \\\\\\\  <
Cracker Jack     0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack fails to deflect Flying Triangle Choke from Mila with Batting Hero.

COMBATSYS: Cracker Jack can no longer fight.

Jack smashes Mila to the side with a savage blow, and wheezes, faltering for a fatal moment. He then goes running for the exit, his chest surging and heaving...Then, he sees a shadow behind him. He turns around as Mila comes flying at him, attempting to knock her aside with the JOUST rod to get her away. But the rod explodes in his hand from overuse, the rod going up in a small *POP* that sends him stumbling right into the Triangle Choke. He passes out between Mila's legs as she passes out, the pair wrapped around each other in an embrace, legs to arms.

Log created on 20:54:04 05/23/2015 by Mila, and last modified on 22:17:53 05/23/2015.