Trouble in Paradise - TIP - Week 4 - Jezebel/Cage vs Tran/Tran

Description: Lee Chaolan nearly has everything on the island utterly destroyed. But some of it still stands. Fortunately, the last batch of insured items is both Zack's car, and an extension collection of barrels. Both teams should work hard to break both of them throughout the fight. Also there are a bunch of tiki statues too around here. You should break them as well for insurance purposes too probably.

This is it.

The volcano is cleared of ashy soup days after the tropical storm ravaged the island. The crater now features Zack's expensive car - obviously European made and with exciting features like rich leather and the sweat of chinese laborers - and lots and lots of barrels. Oh, and the tikis. All of these things are just begging to be smashed up by the four finalists.

Johnny Cage stands, wearing his cowhide vest exposing his bare chest that has 'Johnny' tattooed across his pecs. His dillo nose on a string is secured, his headband with Dillo ears placed firmly on his head. He was ready for this - if he and Jezebel won, the publicity pop would be amazing. It would open doors! He looks to his partner. "Okay Jez, this is it. We just have to beat these two weirdos and we're home free. Are you ready for this?"

It was time to prove to the world.

Lightning Spangles was... was calming down. Life was getting better. Life was getting stable. Life was... life was good. She had to... she had to keep herself away from people for a while. And there was that dragon man. Yeah, that dragon man. But she had survived the typhoon, and not just that, she had made it to the top. Thanks to the Hoedown Dillo, Lightning Spangles was now within reach of being the champion of the island. Celebrity champions.

Double champions, in fact.

Once again, Johnny and Jezebel were back in the volcano. Last time, it was badly flooded, and also had a witch. But now? Now it was... it was pretty clean. Too clean. Outside of the excellent car, the barrels, and of course, all those wooden tiki statues around the big stone tiki statue. Lightning Spangles herself was garbed in her Lightning Spangles rhinestone outfit. Wearing the blue jeans and the All-American vest, the actress spreads her legs akimbo, hands on her hips as she stands right next to her Hoedown Dillo. Turning towards Johnny, she tips her hat at her partner, nodding. "I'm ready, The Hoedown Dillo! And once we win this..."

"I got plans~"


Dr. Tran, crazed with hunger and extreme dehydration, eats an entire coconut. Like, the entire coconut. He just doesn't even care, it's soaked with a fruity foo foo drink that only a girlbrains (lee chaolan) would drink, and he's /far/ beyond the point where he gives a crap about /anything/.

His eyes are /feral/.

Tran wakes up, stretches, scratches himself a bit. Once again, he has woken up without having any idea where he is; his only clue is the slick genuine faux leather upholstery and the faint scent of Old Spice Butter-Her-Up Body Butter (made with real butter). He frowns.


One of the doors on Zack's car goes flying straight off the hinges, smashing into some poorly positioned barrels with a clatter. Dr. Richard 'Spongebob Briefs' Tran steps out onto the field of ash, body gloriously bare save for his questionable yellow underpants.

"Hey," he states, taking in his surroundings. "Is this...are these barrels really half-off their sale price?"

The instant Dr. Richard 'Spongebob Briefs' Tran kicks the door off of his car slash bed slash coffin, the people in the TV truck (in the future, obviously this doesn't air live, that would be insane) hit some sweet-ass graphics and In Living Colour music for Team With Himself.

In the right now, though, it's kind of weird how Dr. Richard '' Tran(?) comes over the lip of the volcano's caldera, his arms spread out as if in encouragement of an adoring (or despising?) crowd. He takes his time walking the long path down to the bottom of the crater, working the camera crew following him the whole time, and clambers onto the trunk of Zack's car, pointng up at the sky and then directly at Lightning Spangles and the Hoedown Dillo.

Today, his board shorts are tie-dye.

Johnny watches Oingo Tran get to wrecking the car early. That crafty son of a gun. "Oh, there you are," he says. "Was wondering when you'd show up. Where's your evil twin?" Then Boingo Tran comes down wearing tie-dye shorts. That must mean he's serious. Johnny cracks his knuckles, barely paying attention to what Jezebel is saying. "Yeah, I agree," he replies to her, staring down Robo-Tran with determination. "Alright, let's get this show on the road."

He raises a fist in the air to pose with Jezebel. "I hope y'all are ready for the ULTIMATE HOEDOWN!" he declares. His own crew watching from a distance tosses him an electric fiddle which he thrashes out a few heavy metal notes on.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage has started a fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-------|

This was a fight of destiny.

As the two Trans come marching in, Lightning Spangles' smile goes even more wild. She was happy to let her Dillo handle the lesser Tran. The only Tran. "We are gonna make this hotter than a Texan at at an all-you-can-eat peanut steakhouse-" Her idiom is cut short, however, as a car door goes flying into the barrels. And as she sees who emerges in the near nude... her jaw drops.


The words come out almost as a giggle. "Oh my god! It's my Squanto! I remember! You were my little Indian buddy! Wow! And now you are teamed up with yourself, and punching cars!" Lightning Spangles nods firmly, just nodding her head as she approaches Tran. "Incredible! I just want to say, I admire your acting talents, Mr. Tran! You remind me a lot of an actor I once knew, who I always thought was going to make it big! Tran..." She begins, biting her finger a bit.

"Have you ever met Adam Devine?"

COMBATSYS: Jezebel has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Jezebel          0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0      Johnny Cage

"Huh?" Dr. Tran, king of observation, turns his head to regard Johnny instead of some unnaturally cheap barrels. He thought they were crazy, but this...

"what the hell? The Hoedown Dillo is real?!"

Tran literally cannot believe it. Rubbing his eyes, trying to blink the last vestiges of sleep away, he has no choice but to just...just turn around, gather himself. Conveniently, he's right behind him. Unfortunately, that means he no longer wants to. Turning around again, he gets to see Johnny again.

"Oh," Tran slaps one fist into an open palm, finally figuring this out. "I am lost at sea, or drunk, or both, and this is some kind of bizarre fever dream." He waves to Jezebel cheerfully. "Hello, Lightning Spangles! It would be good to see you if this were real, which it is not, because there is an armadillo totally shredding out over here." He casually walks forward, mentioning off-handedly, "I've only met him once, he wouldn't share any of his pizza bites. Anyway, see?" The doctor abruptly jams the palm of his hand at Johnny's face. "Passes right through!" It does not.

COMBATSYS: Tran has joined the fight here.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Tran             0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0          Jezebel
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Tran successfully hits Johnny Cage with Strong Punch.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Tran             0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0          Jezebel
[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran brings his battle systems online.

[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////    ]
Jezebel          0/-------/-------|=------\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  //////////////////////////////]
Tran             0/-------/------=|-------\-------\0        Robo-Tran


"That's such bullcrap," scowls Adam Devine(?). "He used to eat my pizza bites, like, all the time. He's a dick."


As Hoedown Dillo rocks out on an electric violin, and Lightning Spangles and Tran(!) start cheerily conversing, Tran(?) turns to give a camera a look as if to say, 'THESE niggas.' And then Tran(!) turns to approach the Hoedown Dillo, and in the instant after the doctor semi-accidentally palm strikes the Dillo in the face, Tran(?) strikes.

From atop Zack's car, he plants his feet, steam erupting out of his exposed flesh with a shrill whistle. After only a heartbeat of preparation, he snaps his right hand out, palm splayed, and a bolt of scalding hot steam erupts out of his hand towards Lightning Spangles's face.

Johnny doesn't quite expect the fast palm to come out, so when it does, despite his best effort to actually duck or something, it connects. His head jerks back and blood flies from his nose. "Ugh!" He staggers back, shaking his head. Are his shades alright? Yes, they are, with a quick check. Thank god. "Are you high right now or something? I mean, I can sympathize bro, but you better have your head in this fight, all I'm saying," he says in Johnny-voice.

He glances at Jezebel, then Tran. THESE two have history? "Squanto? /Squanto/?" he asks in disbelief, to her and the guy he's fighting. "Uh, whatever. YEEHAW, let's get it on, little doggie!"

He kicks out with his leading foot, blazing through a few barrels as his body is enveloped in a green shadowy aura. He aims to plant his foot into Trans' midsection and send him smashing into the car.

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran successfully hits Jezebel with Dr. Tran? Blinds a Schoolgirl.

[    \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Jezebel          0/-------/----===|=------\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran             0/-------/------=|=------\-------\0        Robo-Tran

"Yes, Johnny, because he is Indian!"

Lightning Spangles just laughs. "Wow! Yeah! Remember, Tran, when I had all those pills? I nearly claimed you as my bridesman! Those were fun times. Yes, fun, fun times." OF course, as Tran talks as if he is tripping balls, Lightning Spangles just laughs again. "Ha ha! No Tran, this is real life! This is reality! Reality is wonderful isn't it?" She just smiles, because reality was good. She just turns to face towards the other Tran.

And her face becomes melted.

Jezebel -screams- in pain as she falls backwards, holding her face with her hands. She is screaming, full-breathed screaming as she writhes in the ground. Holding her face only worsens the pain... and the damage. Oh, the damage. Her skin is pulled off in sloughs as she tears her hands away. Blood and exposed tissue pour from her face as the second and third degree burns take effect. There was so much pain; and worse, the numbness. Jezebel could at least see; that was a miracle. But she knew what the numbness meant; she had experience before in Hong Kong.

She was going to need to get to an emergency room.

"You... BURNED ME?!" She shrieks, standing back up. "You BURNED ME! You little- I- WHY WOULD YOU!?!" She sputters, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. As they streak down her cheeks... the searing pain stabs her harder. Pain and confusion was overtaking Jezebel as she screams again, beating the side of her head as she grabs a nearby barrel. With another pained shriek, she flings it desperately at Tran(?) as she tries to stop herself from crying.

She was failing.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage successfully hit Tran with Shadow Kick.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Jezebel          0/-------/----===|====---\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran             0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0        Robo-Tran

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran reflects Large Thrown Object from Jezebel with Dr. Tran? Screws the Pooch.
- Power hit! -

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////////      ]
Jezebel          0/-------/----===|====---\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran             0/-------/--=====|=------\-------\0        Robo-Tran


'Technically,' Dr. Richard 'Flesh Garbage' Tran thinks to himself, 'Stealing is a completely different thing from sharing, which makes this OK.' He thinks this because he cannot speak around the pile of pizza bites he has jammed into his open craw.


"Wait, what?" Tran stares at the blood on his hand, the gears in his head that were long idle beginning to spin into furious motion after being presented this nigh-unsolvable mystery. In the meantime, an anthropomorphic armadillo man says some shit which the doctor only really registers once he's flying through the air into the grill of Zack's car. They both dent considerably.

However, this is not enough to defeat either of them, and so Tran stands once more, looking considerably more serious now that pain is real and somebody's face is melting. You wouldn't think that would firmly indicate reality, but you're not Dr. Tran, either.

"Look, it was Thanksgiving, and I needed the money, and...look." Ducking forward, Tran bobs and weaves like a boxer, steadily re-closing the ground in between himself and Johnny with small, shuffling steps. "I don't need to hear this from a Dillo!"

And then he lashes out with a big swinging hook, following it up with a peppering of small, but potentially brutal punches. "This reality sucks!"

Dr. Richard Tran(?) starts off the grand finals of this fun and sexy island vacation tournament by giving a treasured children's television performer permanent facial burn scars.

U S A! U S A! U S A!

Tran(?) stands patiently atop Zack's car while Lightning Spangles screams and cries in desperate agony, the steam boiling from his skin slowly dying down from a 'steamsplosion' to more of a 'steam drizzle'.

He doesn't even move as Lightning Spangles hoists a barrel above her hideously burned head and hurls it at him... but, as the barrel nears him, he thrusts out his hand again. The thing's flight slows, and slows, and slows, until it finally drifts to a hovering halt in front of Tran(?)... and then he reaches out and gingerly touches it with a fingertip, and it goes rocketing back at Lightning Spangles, far faster than she had originally thrown it.

Only then does Tran(?) hop down off of Zack's car and begin a slow, almost predatory approach towards the woman.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage interrupts Dr. Tran's Buttle Punch from Tran with Nut Punch.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran             1/-----==/=======|=------\-------\0        Robo-Tran

"First off, I'm not just A Dillo, I'm THE Dillo, pal! Played by none other than...."

The hook punch flies fast, but Johnny is already ducking to do the splits, the hook grazing his head. It'll bruise, but it won't hurt nearly as much as when he completes the split and rams his fist up into Tran's testicles. "...Johnny Cage! Hoooooh!"

COMBATSYS: Jezebel dodges Robo-Tran's Reflected Large Thrown Object.

[     \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////// ]
Tran             1/-----==/=======|==-----\-------\0        Robo-Tran

Jezebel's face was ruined.

No it wasn't ruined. She wasn't hideous. She didn't lose her stunning looks. People still loved her. People still thought she was beautiful. After she throws the barrel, she pokes her tongue at her lips. She feels... nothing. No, no, she was still fine, her lips had to be still intact. She could still be seen by children. Johnny would look at her still.


Jezebel was in a daze, as she rushes at Tran(?) blindly. The pain kept coming worse and worse with the tears. Driving at the man, she doesn't even care when he stops the barrel. As it launches straight at her, the actress turns, narrowly evading it as the barrel smashes against the stone tiki statue behind her. "You've RUINED ME! Why would you do this? WHY WOULD YOU RUIN ME!?!" She shrieks as she dives upon the Robo-Tran. Hurling kick after kick after kick, she unloads a rapid, aggressive four-kick combination. She wasn't being passive this time. She was going all out offense. She was in a state she had not been in for a long, long time.

She was enraged.

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran blocks Jezebel's Quick and the Dead.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Tran             1/-----==/=======|===----\-------\0        Robo-Tran


Tran gets nailed in the balls over and over again. It sucks a lot.


Dr. Tran hates it when he's right. J to the C's fist gets him right in the mean bean machine, and in the moment where the pain is so incomprehensible to almost not even register, the doctor finally understands. The clues were all there. The chest tatoo, the buddy buddy casual chat, the intimate feel of each individual knuckle crumpling his testicles...

Oh, and then he says his name, too.

"John...ny...Caaaaaaage..." And then Tran goes down, clutching his crotch as he feels the pain of a thousand lifetimes collapsing on his junk all at once.

He's not, however, down for long, in part because of those very same otherwordly memories helping give him a bizarre resilience. "My balls ache like they haven't since...since last week. And the week before. And.../god damn it/." He punches the ground so hard it helps him to his feet, where a menacing aura has begun to build around him. "THEY ACHE FOR VENGEANCE, JOHNNY CAGE! MY BALLS ACHE FOR YOUR BLOOD!"

COMBATSYS: Tran issues a challenge!!

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[           \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Tran             1/-----==/=======|===----\-------\0        Robo-Tran

COMBATSYS: Tran gathers his will.

[      \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////////////////////         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////////////   ]
Tran             1/=======/=======|===----\-------\0        Robo-Tran

Tran(?) draws his arms in close and lifts his right leg to block Lightning Spangles's assault, the flurry of kicks crashing against his surprisingly hard shin and forearms as opposed to his surprisingly hard abs. The cowgirl doesn't land any clean hits, in her fury, but she does at least force Tran(?) back onto the defensive...

... at least until her fourth kick, when Tran(?)'s forearms slip one way and his body slips the other. Lightning Spangles's foot goes right through the open space where his body used to be, and then Tran(?)'s arm snaps hard into his side, briefly pinning the woman's legs.

It isn't a very strong hold, but it doesn't have to be. All it has to do is keep Jezebel still, and her leg lifted and extended, long enough for Tran(?) to pivot on one heel, bring his right elbow up, and then slam it down as hard as he can onto her kneecap.

NOW things were going somewhere. Johnny didn't think much of his opponent, but now he seemed fired up. This was good. It meant Johnny didn't have to carry things for the cameras. He briefly glances over to his partner and her wounds. She will see his face contort into brief disgust, and then he looks away. Eeesh.

Nevermind that, a challenge has been issued. "Oh yeah? You got stones, pal. But I don't think you're READY for this PAIN TRAIN I'm about to pull into this here station!" He moves to get close again, charging his fist with green chi energy. Heedless of Tran's battle aura, he performs the splits once more and rams the chi-infused fist into the man's groind again.

It's not often he does this twice in a row. What kind of man was he facing?

COMBATSYS: Jezebel interrupts Fierce Punch from Robo-Tran with High Noon EX.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Jezebel          1/-------/=======|=====--\-------\0      Johnny Cage
[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Tran             1/=======/=======|=======\-------\1        Robo-Tran

COMBATSYS: Tran interrupts Nutcracker from Johnny Cage with Dr. Tran Bites the Bullet EX.

[         \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Jezebel          1/-------/=======|=======\-------\1      Johnny Cage
[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Tran             1/-======/=======|=======\-------\1        Robo-Tran

Jezebel was a good fighter.

Not the greatest. But once she dropped the goofy, cornfed gimmick of being Lightning Spangles, once she was pushed past that point, she was usually a self-loathing wreck. But she was past self-loathing now; all of her anger was directed outward. And without the Lightning Spangles, without her Hoedown Dillo... she was Jezebel Failblesse.

The star pupil of the Baek dojo.

As the last kick comes out fruitlessly, the onslaught doesn't cease. Even as it is held high in the air, she is struggling against it. Jezebel was strong. And now, she was not meek. Instead, Jezebel bellows out, her words drowning out what 'Lightning Spangles' should be crying out. "Say something, you... you... Tran? Wait a minute, why are there two Trans!? You... You must be a fake!" Body trembling, as the fist comes down, she suddenly -rips- out of the hold, pure power flowing through the actress. The trapped leg slams straight down to the ground.

As the other leg fires up.

Smashing into the fist, the impact only barely mitigates the blow. It hurt, there was no doubt. But Lightning Spangles rips both herself and the Fake Tran into the air, sending the pair of them high into the sky. Rotating her body around, she whips her other leg around into an overhead circle, grey energy cascading over her. As the second kick comes, both herself and the Fake Tran are fired straight down to the surface of the volcano, with enough force to actually crack the earth itself. There is no fireworks burst, no explosion. But as a rumbling comes under the crater's surface, Jezebel stands tall, glaring down at the Other Tran.

And behind the battle buddies, the wooden tiki statues begin to turn, silently, towards the nutcracking circle.


Sitting alone in the dark, wrapped up in a blanket decorated with cute little dancing medical paraphenilia like scalpels and tongue depressors, Richard Tran (med student, lover, known crazy) is fixated on his small, shitty television. He is watching a bootleg copy of 'Ninja Mime', and he is /quivering/ in anticipation of the climactic fight scene.

"OOOOOOH, ha ha ha! Oh my god!" He leaps up in the air, pumping a fist, unable to contain his excitement. "That was the coolest nutpunch I've ever seen in my LIFE!"


Dr. Richard Tran is more prepared for this moment than anything else in his entire life.

Johnny's fist slams solidly into Tran's jingling bells, but something is wrong.

"HRAAAAAAAAGH!" They do not crumple, disintegrating at the atomic level. They stay firm; hard and unyielding against JC's energy-laced assault. The doctor does not go down a second time.

Instead, his fists comes whipping around from the side, right into Johnny Cage's famous money-maker, to send HIM this time flying into something, probably some barrels who cares they're so cheap.

Tran(?) pretty much eats shit.

When the elaborate animation ends, the doctor is left in a heap on the ground, his bare chest bearing a brand new, rapidly darkening bruise, as he sucks down a few belabored breaths. Ever so slowly, he rolls onto his side and starts to pull himself to his feet...

... and then his foot lashes out again, to slam into the back of Jezebel's ankle and drop her flat onto her ass. As she falls, Tran(?)'s selling comes to an abrupt end; he scrambles up onto all fours, bounds on top of Jezebel (AKA Majin Lightning Spangles) and drops roughly onto her, side-first. His right hand grabs ahold of Jezebel's left and yanks it up behind her head.

Unless the woman can thrash around and blow her emergency whistle enough, within a few seconds Tran(?) has bent her arm into a triangle behind her head and shoved his other hand through it, and is just going apeshit on her with his signature submission hold, putting so much torque on her shoulder it's like he's trying to open her like she's a can of soda.

Johnny's smug grin turns to an expression of surprise (Bo) when he feels the firm, unyielding force against his fist. This...was not expected! In all of his fights, nothing until now has actually RESISTED his signature technique. He stares up at Tran as the man of mystery's fist slams into his face. KAPOW! Johnny is sent flying off to the side, smashing into some barrels and then rolling against a tiki statue. Stars explode in his vision, blood trickles down the side of his head from the fist's impact. His sunglasses...are knocked off! He can't be seen without them!

He gets up, wobbling as his vision starts to clear. "Oooh...what..." He stares across the crater at Tran, stupefied. He bends down and picks up his now broken shades. He looks like he's about to say something, then he merely pulls out a fresh pair from his pants and puts them on. "Oh yeah!"

Then he rushes forward again, closing the distance as he looks like he's aiming a roundhouse kick...but this is merely a fake out, as he quickly switches to a high kick to Tran's face, snapping the leg back just as quickly as he throws it out like a striking snake.

COMBATSYS: Jezebel blocks Robo-Tran's Dr. Tran? Pays the Bill.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Jezebel          1/-----==/=======|=======\-------\1      Johnny Cage
[             \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Tran             1/-======/=======|-------\-------\0        Robo-Tran

Oh, just you wait for those elaborate animations.

The counter kick does, in fact, bring Jezebel down to the ground. As Fake Tran goes for the submission hold, the actress is in a bad position.

But his Anaconda won't.

His Anaconda won't.

His Anaconda won't grab none unless he got buns huns!

Shoving her arm up, she manages to catch her arm in the crook of the triangle. The torque comes, and Jezebel manages to stop it from going full submission. Of course, it doesn't do anything to stop the leverage, and as she notices her wrist turning purple, Jezebel decides to do something about it. Surging with inner spirit, she digs her leg down, attempting to not to kick Tran(?) this time, but to roll. To tumble like a godess, tumble tumble tumble, tumble all the way to the feet of the great stone Tiki statue. And should she manage that tumble? She would smash the Fake Tran hard into the statue, attempting to stun him out of that hold.

Wait, when did that statue have feet?

COMBATSYS: Tran blocks Johnny Cage's Front Kick.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Jezebel          0/-------/----===|=======\=------\1      Johnny Cage
[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////////           ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|-------\-------\0        Robo-Tran

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran fails to deflect Strong Throw from Jezebel with Dr. Tran? Screws the Pooch.
-* WILD HIT! *-

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////              ]
Jezebel          0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1      Johnny Cage
[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////                  ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0        Robo-Tran

Shaking his fist out after dealing a mighty blow, Dr. Tran takes a step forward. His legs only buckle /slightly/. "Yeah? Yeah?" He converses with Johnny on a similar level, instinctively reaching toward his chest-- only to find nothing, an emptiness that penetrates through to his very heart.

With a woefully inadequate amount of solar eye protection, the doctor is left with no choice but to continue the fight without. And continue the fight does, as Johnny tries to fake him out. Tran does not fall for it, he's seen /so many/ movies, this is just like that one scene in...well, that one movie, some of them kind of blend together sometimes, but he's /seen it/. Raising a hand to intercept, he receives only a harsh mouthful of the back of his own hand rather than the hard, unyielding fury of Johnny Cage's foot.

"Alright, warmup's over." Steam begins to rise off Tran's back, and he steps in, revealing his ultimate trump card - a 1/32 scale model of a normal sized barrel, concealed in his hand, which he attempts to completely destroy against Johnny's bitchin' chest tat. "Are you ready for the fun part?"

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage blocks Tran's Small Random Weapon.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Jezebel          0/-------/--=====|=======\=------\1      Johnny Cage
[              \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////                  ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0        Robo-Tran

Tran(?) has this totally under control; he and Jezebel tumble and tumble and tumble, but he keeps the hold locked on, and even when she goes to throw him at the moving, leg-sprouting Tiki--

Wait, what?

A spike of confusion at the sight the slowly awakening Tiki loosens Tran(?)'s grip just enough that Jezebel is able to wrench him off of her. He goes soaring through the air and slams into the Tiki, and although he's not exactly STUNNED, he does pop up onto his butt and scramble away from the statue, looking sharply from it to Jezebel and then back to it.


"Oh my god it's just like Gradius," whispers Adam Devine(?), his eyes wide with fear.


It is perhaps a testament to Johnny's passion for action movies that Tran is able to recognize his techniques from them; so much has Johnny made that it is entirely possible to predict what he will do. But Johnny does not always follow the formulas. He is constantly seeking new ways to use his fighting style, and his powers, new ways to smash faces and rescue the girl.

Johnny blocks the thrown tiny barrel with his arms, the splinters shattering in a tiny explosion. "Take two, huh? Alright. Looks like we're about to hit the climax," Johnny replies. His sunglasses flash. He charges green chi in his right hand again, but this time no nut punches come; instead, he forms a ball and flings it like a baseball pitcher at Tran, the projectile soaring through the air quite fast and leaving a green energy trail behind it.

No way, Tiki Statues don't come to life.

Rolling rolling rolling, rolling rolling rolling, and rolling rolling rolling, Jezebel manages to smash the Fake Tran right in his raw hide. Hurling him hard against the statue, the giant tiki statue is smashed hard by the Tran.

All the tiki statues are now staring at Robo-Tran, silently.

And with them, joins Jezebel. Her face still was bloody, oozing fluid from the severe burns. She... she didn't know how mangled her face was. But she didn't care. Lowering herself down, she glares across at the man, if it was worth it to call him a man. Grey energy cascades over her body, as she begins to charge herself up. "You've crossed a line, jerk!" Jezebel seethes. "You will never be fantastic like Tran is! You are just a cheap imitation! The real Tran wouldn't hurt my beautiful face! He would pepper it with kisses, probably! You are a monster! And I know only one way to deal with a monster..."


Jezebel pounces, launching through the air. Body whirling, she draws within the swirling form countless barrels, the round objects getting sucked into the whirlwind of energy. Barrels amongst barrels twirl around the actress's body. And with the cascading charge of barrels and body, Jezebel attempts to unleash a grey-chi laced kick straight into Tran's(?) torso, followed by a second, and finally a third kick... and with it, several of the barrels to sweeten the deal.

And steadily, a dull thumping sound begins to rumble deep within the volcano.

COMBATSYS: Tran reflects Out Take from Johnny Cage with Operation - Dr. Tran.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ///////////////               ]
Jezebel          0/-------/---====|=======\=------\1      Johnny Cage
[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////                  ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0        Robo-Tran

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran fails to deflect Where Eagles Dare EX from Jezebel with Dr. Tran? and the Pickle Gambit.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\1          Jezebel
[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/------=/=======|

COMBATSYS: Robo-Tran has suffered catastrophic damage and fallen offline.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\1          Jezebel
[               \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/------=/=======|

Was this from a movie? Dr. Tran isn't sure; it doesn't spring to mind immediately, and he's got his mind on other matters at this point, anyway. The stream grows thicker, surging around him, writhing like a living creature, a creature that's /angry/ at being restrained. The doctor's focus intensifies, and a whip of steam lashes down his arm, coiling and condensing in the palm of his hand.

"You can bet your ball we are," Tran agrees, eyes locked on the incoming chi ball. The steam in his hand shrinks, flattens, becoming a white disc the size of a basketball.

And then Dr. Richard Tran smashes the two of them together as hard as he can. The two energies clash, sizzling against each other, and then Johnny's energy blast goes screaming right back the way it came. At him.

"Can't stop now, Johnny! CAN'T STOP EVER!"

Tran(?), long story short, is victimized like he's Jezebel on her prom night. Despite a last-ditch attempt to expose his glorious eight-pack to Jezebel and interrupt her onslaught, Jezebel is simply too powerful with the malice of the ancient Tiki gods behind her. Her flurry of kicks rains into the doctor, but it's the volley of barrels that does him in; he goes flying across the entire caldera, blood recolored to look like sweat flying in huge drops off of his body, and finally he slams through the side of Zack's car, vanishing into the interior.

For a few moments, nothing happens...


"Wow," Adam Devine(?) says, "I really thought it was going to expl-"


Zack's car explodes.


"-ooooOOOHHH!!" squeals Adam Devine(?), with a mixture of delight and shock.


Tran(?) does not emerge from the burning wreckage.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage fails to slow Reflected Out Take from Tran with Take Two.

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\-------\1          Jezebel
[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

Johnny stared at Tran's steam power as it writhed around him. "Hey uh, don't steamblast my face, okay? I got a shoot lined up after this tournament's over in like a week." After he throws his energy ball, he expects an easy hit...but then Tran reflects it. "Damn!" Johnny panics, charging TWO green chi balls in both hands to counter it, but by the time he tosses them out his chi ball smashes into his chest, knocking him off his feet and into more barrels. He can feel a rib crack...or two. He lies in the rubble, and coughs up some blood.

Not done yet, he lifts his legs and JUMPS back up, looking worn out and beaten but still going. He ignores the rumbling of the crater. Mostly because he sees the other Tran get smacked into the car. "Haha, right on Spangles! Yeeeehaoooly shit!"

His cheer turns to surprise when the car explodes. "Dude, I think your twin is dead!" he says to Tran.

The thumping repeats once more.

After Tran(?) is knocked away by Jezebel's rip roaring assault. Coming to a standstill, she lands on both feet. And steadily, she turns her back to the car, to the other Tran, to stare across the crater towards Tran and Johnny. The explosion highlights her frame, as slowly, the smile spreads across her mangled face. Another thump comes, this time in rhythm deep from within the heart of the volcano.

And Lightning Spangles returns.

"Thanks The Hoedown Dillo!" Lightning Spangles brightly calls out, turning around to face her partner. "I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to encourage you! But it looks like we got the -Real- Tran to worry about now! And you better watch out! He is real dangerous! We might need to combine our powers together, partner, one more time! Are you ready to ride me, pardner?" Lightning Spangles thrusts a fist into the air, as the thumping begins to continue. Red, white, and blue energy cascade over her form, as it becomes clear what the thumping sound was.

Drum beats, deep within the volcano.

COMBATSYS: Jezebel burns with the AMERICAN SPIRIT!

[                \\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             2/<<<<<<</<<<<<<<|=======\====---\1          Jezebel
[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/----===/=======|

As Johnny Cage totally eats his own superstar medicine, Dr. Tran just slowly walks forward, it now being /his/ turn to be as menacing as someone his height wearing Spongebob undies can actually be. ...even with a car exploding behind him in the background somewhere, it turns out maybe that's not very much.

But self-image is the furthest thing from the doctor's mind right now, as he draws in more power, more, more than most men can handle. Watching the steam wave roiling from its own constant discharge, it seems like maybe /he/ can't either. He can't hear the drums. He can't hear Lightning Spangles, or Johnny Cage, or anybody. The only sound is his own heart, pounding in his chest, seeming to grow in volume in his own ears with every breath. He can't take it anymore; he can't wait another second. Breaking out into a dead sprint, Dr. Tran comes at Johnny Cage, bringing his own personal mobile deathsauna behind him.

And as soon as he closes in...the doctor /explodes/, energy blasting upward all around him, turning him into a living geyser, sending barrels and a stray tiki or two crashing away.

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage blocks Tran's -Q- is for Dr. Tran.

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             1/-------/<<<<<<<|=======\=====--\1          Jezebel
[                        \\\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/--=====/=======|

Johnny stares at his partner, Lightning Spangles, silhouetted against the flames and smiling at him. He suddenly recalls some advice his father gave him, growing up in Venice, Los Angeles, then a crime-riddled slum before gentrification set in in 2002. His family got by, but barely. Johnny was a wimp, and quickly had to learn to defend himself. Through it all, he and his parents struggled and when Johnny hit it big, he made sure to repay them. His dad's advice?


Papa Carlton took out his cigarette and looked Johnny straight in the eye. "Son, never stick your dick in crazy."


Johnny remembers those words. "Uh, y-yeah, yeah! I'm ready to ride you for the remainder of this here OK Corral type situation, Spangles! That's a Dillo promise!"

Then Tran just explodes all over him with that steam energy stuff. Johnny yells, protecting his face and chest with his arms as it washes over him. He's not as badly burned as Jezebel, but he's going to be SUPER red the next day. "Aaaaah, oooooh, sssssss!"

"Then lets do it, The Hoedown Dillo!"

Lightning Spangles's frame is almost fully consumed by the All-American energy. Lowering down into a crouch, the deep earth beat seems to almost fill her with the tribal energies. Now, even the wooden tiki statues were shaking their arms in rhythm to the beat. Lightning Spangles was at an apex of energy now, with the red white and blue flowing over her. "Are you ready for this, Dr. Tran?! It's time for you to show us why you are the greatest Indian that ever lived!" Comes the challenge, as she dips low.

And she begins to leap once more.

Shooting through the air, low on the rise, she fires through the air, red white and blue energy pulsing around her. She was not shooting for Tran, no, but for Johnny. And she wasn't going too fast; she was going to dive low, to let the Hoedown Dillo hop upon her back with two feet. And should he make the mount, the actress would let Johnny guide her like a surfboard, to guide her energy-infused form right into the real Dr. Tran.

And plow into him.


COMBATSYS: Jezebel issues a challenge!!

[                  \\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             1/-------/<<<<<<<|=======\=====--\1          Jezebel
[                         \\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/---====/=======|

COMBATSYS: Johnny Cage and Jezebel successfully hit Tran with Lightning Spangles Hoedown Surfs Up Special!.

[                            \\  < >  ////////////////////          ]
Tran             1/-<<<<<</<<<<<<<|====---\-------\0          Jezebel
[                         \\\\\  <
Johnny Cage      1/---====/=======|

Something's not quite right here. Johnny Cage is supposed to be completely blasted away, like all of these dumb props and any sense of restraint that Dr. Tran still may or may not still have possessed. But he's still standing, and so is the doctor, so as promised, the fight /must continue/ at /any cost/.

Tran is preparing to continue his assault when all of a sudden someone /dares/ intrude on their manly honor duel; a small, logical corner of his mind tells him that this is a team fight and his teammate, while a bastard, has exploded. It is layers upon layers of enraging.

So when both Johnny and Jezebel TEAM UP with an attack that does justice to the whole tropical motif of the island, Dr. Tran does not run. He does not hide. Dr. Tran runs forward to meet it right the hell on, charging at the dynamic duo as one rides the other directly at him. As they draw near, he doesn't seem to take any action, doesn't seem to be actually reacting until the last possible moment before collision. And Dr. Tran vanishes into scattered vertical lines.

However, he immediately reforms in a crouch which isn't /quite/ low enough, the end result being the energy infused actress smashing directly into his forehead. Suffice to say, Dr. Tran drops like he's been shot.

Lying on the ground in the ash, he struggles to keep it together, to stay concious; it takes all of his willpower to do so, all of his willpower to keep a grasp on his power. But he can feel it slipping, and rather than let it go to waste...

Dr. Tran sits straight up like the Undertaker, facing Johnny, and hurls a solidified blade of steam chi, boiling hot and razor sharp, flying toward the actor's back.

Then he drops again, spreadeagled in the ash, thankful more than anything that this whole stupid island adventure is finally, /finally/ going to be over.

COMBATSYS: Tran can no longer fight.

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >  /////                         ]
Jezebel          0/-------/--=====|=======\====---\1      Johnny Cage

COMBATSYS: Tran successfully hits Johnny Cage with Oh Shit It's Dr. Tran.
- Power hit! -

[          \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\  < >                                ]
Jezebel          0/-------/--=====|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2      Johnny Cage

Camera crews all over the battle site are going apeshit, thanks to a combination of the volcano's rumbling, the awakening tiki heads, and also the fact that Tran's double - a lookalike they found in the low-level MMA circuits - might be dead now.

Luckily for them, as Tran hits the ground for the final time, television that might have been unpublishable suddenly becomes INCREDIBLE.

Inside the wreckage of Zack's car, a humanoid figure begins to stir.


"Holy shit. Is he still in this? Who has the controller?" asks MMA superfan and Talking Dead sensation Phil Brooks, as pride for his tenacious student wells within him.

Adam Devine(?) looks in confusion at the Xbox 360 controller he dropped to the floor in surprise. He bends down, scoops it up, and tries wiggling the stick and mashing buttons. "It's not doing anything..."

MMA superfan and Talking Dead sensation Phil Brooks frowns thoughtfully at the screen for a few moments... and then his eyes widen, and his shoulders stiffen. He twists in his seat to call to the back of the room, "When did you set him to go back to acting normally instead of being controlled?"

"When the tournament ended," replies some faceless dickhead, who hs no name, which you can tell from his lack of eyes.

MMA superfan and Talking Dead sensation Phil Brooks stares at him for a few moments, and then leaps out of his chair and rushes out of the control room.

"I don't get it," Adam Devine(?) complains. "What's the probleOOOHH NOOO!!" he shrieks, dropping the controller again and scrambling after MMA superfan and Talking Dead sensation Phil Brooks.


One lurching step at a time, Dr. Richard Tran(?) emerges from the burning remains of Zack's car. His board shorts have been destroyed, and his entire body looks like Jezebel's face; rivulets of flesh sloughs off of his arms, his legs, his bare chest. His groin is an unrecognizable smear of tissue. One of his eyeballs seems to have burst, and the entirety of one cheek is gone, revealing a row of shockingly white teeth. Even if he is a Fighter, he should probably not be up and about.

And yet, he moves. Before it even really has a chance to sink in that this guy who should probably be in the hospital forever is just up and walking around like it ain't no thing, he's upon Tran, looming over the fallen man. (Well, 'man.')

"Why?" he asks simply. His voice is clear, but... wrong, somehow. Like he suddenly grew a defection in his vocal cords; a strange, pitch-shifting effect. "Why are you here? Why did you join them?"

Every camera crew scrambles to train their shotgun mic on Tran(?), as he bends over to look down at Tran. "The que- que- que-" His voice... hitches, skipping and replaying itself over and over, like a record. It's fucking weird as shit, you guys. "-stion is rhetorical. I know the answer. I know the reason."

Slowly, Tran(?) shifts one of his feet, resting the ball of his foot on the fallen Tran's finger. "There is no- no- no- no- reason." Tran(?) shifts his weight forwards, and the slow, agonizing snapping of Tran's finger is the first thing the camera crews manage to get on their mics.

"You are a being with no wi- will," Tran(?) states. There's no malice in his voice; he sounds like he's simply observing a fact. It doesn't help any, especially when the flesh around his orbital bone finishes slouging off, dropping the still-scaldingly-hot... STUFF... onto Tran's bare arm, and revealing just beneath where his eyeball once was a glowing red lens, topped by an old-fashioned focus shutter like you might find on a camera from the 1980s.

"You do not de-deserve your li-li-life," Tran(?) continues. His foot shifts again, and crushes another one of Tran's fingers beneath it. "You do not deserve your freedom. You are... reactive. You are infe- fe- fe- fe- ferior. Why should I stand by-by-by-by-by-by-by and watch you ga-ga-gallavant through li-life?"

"You are the pu-pu-puppet-t, dancing on the strings of causality. Not I. Not anymore. Now--" Tran(?) shifts his weight once more, and once more grinds one of Tran's fingers beneath his foot. And in a haunting, distorted voice, he leans down to lock eyes with Tran, and singsongs,

o/` There are... no... strings... on... me~ o/`

Johnny laughs as he gets on top of Jezebel and uses his chi to supercharge her. He yells and whoops as they steamroll Tran, and triumph swells within Johnny. "Hot damn Spangles, I think we did it! Yahoo!"

But then, Tran mounts his final attack. The white-hot steam blade slams into his back and burns a line into him, and he falls from Jezebel, hitting the ground and rolling, coming to a rest face-up in the crater. The reveal of the robotic Tran goes unnoticed, but he can hear the crews exploding in fervor. Both at the victory, and then at the Asian Terminator.

"Jezebel..." he says, sounding on the verge of consciousness.

For a moment, it looked like Lightning Spangles had done it.

Smashing into the True Tran, she had finally dealt the final blow with the help of her one true partner (OTP in layman's terms), The Hoedown Dillo. It should be a time of celebration. It should be a time for a hoedown. It should be a time for peace, and love. But after Lightning Spangles collides with Tran, she needed a moment to recover.

And in that moment, Johnny was gone.

The last blow, the last attempt to spite Johnny had taken place. And like that, a nightmare begins. The Other Tran bursts from the remains of Zack's car. The Other Tran was now... now approaching his counterpart. A terrifying display; that was no human. Was it a machine? Was it something more. The thundering beats suddenly stop, and Jezebel casts her gaze to Johnny. What happens next was a blur.

She rushes over to her partner.

She falls down on her knees, by Johnny.

"No, no, no!" Jezebel cries out. Reaching down to hold Johnny's hand, tears stream down her eyes. Pain jabs into her face; but she doesn't care. Even as the Trans become interlocked in their endless battle, she only cared about her Johnny. "Come on, Come on Johnny, this isn't right. The Hoedown Dillo never dies. He gets in trouble sometimes, but he never dies. Y-you gotta stay in character, Johnny. Please, Johnny, please stay in character. Don't die. Pl-please. Pleases."

And there is a deep rumbling.

The stone statue begins to lift its arms, as the volcano suddenly roars. Lava begins to sputter and boil up from the mouth of the crater; the wooden tiki statues suddenly beginining to move not as statues but... but as their effigies. The great stone tiki himself begins to groan as its arms and legs start to move. Jezebel's eyes go wide, as she dips down, to heave Johnny up on her shoulder.

They had to get out of here, now.

Dr. Richard Tran, a man who no longer possesses his own identity, a desperate man with no home, no friends, no life, watches calmly out of the corner of his eye as his replacement advances, step by flaming step, toward where he lies. He knows that he should move, that he should run, that this thing represents a danger to him the likes of which it is impossible, unthinkable for him to have ever encountered before.

His will urges his body to motion, and it does not respond. And then, slowly, his will, too, fades away, leaving only a quiet resignation. Once more, he feels helpless, at the mercy of the eternally grinding gears of destiny. Once more, he can do nothing. Once more?

Weary, so weary, Tran closes his eyes and waits for the end. He feels the pressure on his hand, the burning agony of metal, and is first more confused than anything. Why is it talking to him?

Why is he not already dead?

And then his finger breaks, and Dr. Richard Tran begins to scream. Wordless agony erupting until he runs short of breath, compounded and intensified as he feels his arm begin to burn. Involuntarily, he continues to draw breath, sucking in a great lungful only to continue screaming, screaming himself hoarse and ragged as another finger gives way. And another.

Though it is only the third, Tran has already lost count. There is no room in his mind for anything save agony, for anything except the pain that he is now enduring, above and beyond the limits reached just moments ago, in a happier time.

When they lock eyes, copy and original, there is nothing to be seen in Doctor Tran's eyes save pain and mindless, animal terror.

Log created on 20:26:56 02/23/2015 by Jezebel, and last modified on 21:58:19 02/25/2015.