Neo League 0001 - NL#0040: Kuma vs May

Description: The wilds clash against the high seas in this exciting Neo League match! Only the truly crazed and suicidal would dare to fight the giant bear that is Kuma /and/ antagonize Heihachi while they are at it. Naturally it is Cap'n May who boards this dead man's chest to prove that a little girl can be just as dangerous as a giant grizzly bear. <Winner: Kuma>

The latest victim of Kuma is the sailor girl May; touted as 'Chum Bait' a number of posters showing a photoshopped image of a demolished May sinking under the sea with her own giant anchor was displayed, Kuma looming in the background with his trademark scarf. An entire arena has been built in his honor within Southtown -- the Kuma Arena, a moderate but grandiose place with seating for a few thousand. It sells many bear-themed items, from shirts to Kuma dolls, the latter of which is surprisingly popular. Although a massive loss in finance for the Zaibatsu initially, it's actually about half full, as the novelty of a fighting bear and high end promotions ended up working well.
May would eventually be lead to the center four-turnbuckle ring, which is black with a massive image of a fierce Kuma within a circle in the middle. Each turnbuckle also has a bear's paw on it, furred and fiercely splayed. Already, Kuma is within his own corner, standing on his hind legs and roaring. He actually looks more massively muscled than usual, having lost a fair degree of his bodyfat. The legendary Heihachi Mishima is beside and just outside, smacking him on the back.
"I didn't lose millions due to shoddy leadership for you to lose!! I trained you to the bone, and gave you a vacation! You want to impress Panda, you win!"
"Roar! << Yes!! >>"
"I don't care that she's a young girl. I want her DEAD. I want to see BLOOD. End her!!" Kuma double-takes at this, swatting at Heihachi fiercely. "Snarl! Roar! << What?! No! Why do you want me to kill everyone?! >>"
"Don't sass me!!" Heihachi backs up, dressed in a simple black tanktop and sweats with large sandals, white towel around his shoudler. "I'm not stopping the fight no matter how bad he mauls you, girl. And playing dead won't save you....!"
"Snarl!!" Kuma states, smacking his face with both paws. "<< What?! Stop selling me like this! Panda will never love a creep! Like I'm going to hurt a little girl...!"
"He said she's dead!" "<< WHAT?! >>"

COMBATSYS: Kuma has started a fight here.

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Kuma             0/-------/-------|

COMBATSYS: Kuma takes no action.

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Kuma             0/-------/-------|



The title is Pirate, matey! Pirate Captain May if you really must!!

Still well in her way to show Makoto just what kind of mettle a real salty dog can bring to her dojo, May had signed up to yet another Neo League fight. Oblivious to the fact that she may have accidentally signed up for something called the Kuma League instead, the tiniest buccaneer was only too thrilled to get another chance to display the true ferocity of a scourge of the seas.

"Shiver me timbers!" May approached the entrance for fighters with a lot of excited glee. "Lots of lubbers here to watch the fight, they must have heard of me sea fairing exploits!" The tiny girl with the massive anchor is rather surprised to see this big turn out, not to mention all the publicity it's getting. It's even got posters and everything!

May takes a closer look at the announcements to see how well she's been drawn only for her face to curl in surprised dismay. "CHUM BAIT!?" and "Is that.. supposed to be me ship sinking!?"

What an outrage!!

"Arrr!! I'll show these blighters!! I'll clubber this beast good, I will!!"

Wasting no more time, May charges into the building, runs right past the security who barely have time to check her credentials, past the announcers, past the gate leading into the arena, makes a headless dash through the corridor, and catapults herself into the ring.

If she has any concerns at all that her opponent is a giant bear she is not showing them.

"Avast, ye scurvy dog!! Yaaaarrr!!!" May runs towards Kuma who is in the middle of talking(?) with his handler, anchor held up high with the intention of bringing it down on top of Kuma's skull.

She's not even waiting for the bell!

"Uh.. FIGHT!" The announcer manages to say just as the attack is swung.

COMBATSYS: May has joined the fight here.

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Kuma             0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0              May

COMBATSYS: Kuma blocks May's May Dynamic.

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Kuma             0/-------/-------|-------\-------\0              May

Most people who have laid eyes on Kuma make a double-take. Even by the standards of a grizzly he's gargantuan, perhaps the only creature alive with a couple inches on Hugo. Although the large bear looks surprised to find out just how giant the anchor being lugged along is, pressing his heels together and doing a formal bow as she enters. "Roar, snarl." Yeah, she has no idea what he's saying, but the crimson bandana'd bear at least looks suitably polite.
Only for her to attack abruptly, Kuma ducking down and covering his head with both paws. The anchor thumps true, bouncing off to crash upon the ring with a great shudder. "GRRR! <OW!>" Sliding a hand forward, still upright, the bear then unleashes a quick short upper-slash, although he makes sure not to use his claws; only a heavily padded claw would thump into May's face, with the intention of sending her flying into the air!!
"That's it! KILL HER!" Heihachi continues to yell. "Sink that merchant sailor like the tadpole she is! Hahaha!" Tadpoles don't live in the ocean, Heihachi!!

COMBATSYS: May blocks Kuma's Kuma Musou.

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Kuma             0/-------/-----==|===----\-------\0              May

*Bonk!* May's anchor bounces off Kuma's guard taking the girl with her. May's insane bravery hasn't come to the point yet where its strong enough to break the laws of physics and she needed to make quite the jump towards Kuma in order to do an overswing with her anchor, big as it may be.

As it crashed against Kuma's paws instead of his head, the pirate girl was forced to jump backwards to regain her footing. It saved her somewhat from the incoming counter attack, since the distance she was forced to put between her and the giant bear gave her enough time to bring her anchor horizontally across her body and take the upper (padded) claw on the handle of her weapon instead of her body.

She's still sent skidding back some more though, because well, she just took a bear swipe from a giant bear. "Arr!! Many a beast has tried to take down Captain May! None have succeeded!!" It bears to remember that what May considers 'beasts' is probably not the same of what the average lubber thinks, so her sense of categorizing is admittedly very skewed.

Still, its this very insanity that keeps her standing toe to toe with a legit grizzly, fighting with wild abandon. Still incredibly incensed about being depicted in such a humiliating manner in the posters. No one calls chum bait and leaves without a big thumping bonk on their head.

"Have some pets of me own ya oversized rat! Go, Mister Dolphin!" Swinging her anchor upwards, May sends a dolphin made out of chi flying out of the arena floor to smash head first into Kuma's chest.

"And tadpoles don't live in the ocean! As I'd expect from a bunch of lubbers!" Looks like May is paying attention to her surroundings despite how crazed she appears to be.

COMBATSYS: Kuma fails to interrupt Go, Mr. Dolphin! from May with Frolicking Bear.

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Kuma             0/-------/--=====|=====--\-------\0              May

"Roar, snarl!! << You're almost as crazy as Heihachi!!>>" Kuma states after the mighty swing sends May backwards, before he drops down to all fours once more. But in the list of assaults that an intelligent bear expected, a chi dolphin was not one of them. His attempt is to simply barrely through it; pressing his feet and paws together, he starts spinning wildly before the dolphin whacks him dead-center. He doesn't stop -- no, it's not THAT strong a whack -- but he is knocked off-center, slamming down a meter beside May and sending the entire ring rocking. Wobbling, he then collapses into a roll, ending up on his back with a look of disorientation. "Grr... << Oww!! I'm getting MAD here!! >>
Heihachi, for his part, slams the ring so hard he leaves a burnt indentation in it. "Watch your damn tongue, or I'll have Kuma rip it out!! I'm not anywhere near a lubber! Tadpoles live where I say they live, damnit!!" For all of May's delusions, it's probably not a good idea to antagonize one of the strongest men who ever lived when he's proven in the past he can and will enter a ring and piledrive someone hard enough to breach the earth's mantle...

May will antagonize whoever she pleases!

For such is the life of a pirate!

Kuma is quite right, May is probably as insane if not more than Heihachi, because at least he knows he has the strength to back up his bravados. May on the other hand, she's young and naive, and clearly lives in her own little girl, it wouldn't be the first time she has bitten a lot more that can chew, realizing it exactly... never!

Kind of the reason why she's here in the ring at all fighting a giant bear. What kind of little girl does that?

The pirate kind apparently.

"Arr har har! I'll see ye in Davy Jones' locker soon enough! But not before dealing with yer mate here!"

May takes the initiative when Kuma is mildly disoriented and rushes in again to close distance with the giant bear, either oblivious or ignoring the obvious danger of rushing a bear. "Have a taste of me salty dog!!" May is /probably/ referring to her anchor, which she spins in the air to gain momentum before swinging it at Kuma again to slam it right on his snout.

COMBATSYS: Kuma blocks May's Restive Rolling.

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Kuma             0/-------/-======|=====--\-------\0              May

Heihachi just allows a 'tch' to leave him. She's literally fighting in an arena he built for his pet bear, who he prioritized over a multi-billion dollar industry. It is nearly impossible to be more eccentric and crazed than him. Of course, he is ECCENTRIC. Poor people are delusional and crazy. A carefully nuanced difference.
Kuma manages to roll over in time, before crouching down and twisting. The heavy metal strikes his shoulder, ricocheting off and gouging into the fabric of the ring proper once more. "HEY! I WAS GOING TO SAY DAVY JONES' LOCKER, DAMNIT!" Heihachi calls out.
The bear then suddenly launches himself explosively, a burst of wind in all directions. Both paws are extended, aiming to pelt May in the middle and spiraling like a top drive her all the way to the other end of the ring, to slam right into one of those paw-topped turnbuckles hard enough to dent it. "ROOOOAR!" That wasn't him talking, that was him being a bear. This fiesty girl had best be taken seriously now!

COMBATSYS: May blocks Kuma's Wild Lumberjack EX.

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Kuma             0/-------/=======|=======\==-----\1              May

"Yarr har har!! Sorry matey, only a true pirate gets the privilege of calling upon Davy Jones!" And his locker thereof.

May's fortunately not overly concentrated on cackling since she notices how her anchor slides off the bear's thick hide and hits the ring proper. "Bollocks!" She swears like a propa' sailor should just in time to see Kuma barreling on top of her to grab her into a fierce grapple, wind buffeting her long brown hair and threatening to knock her pirate hat right off her head. "GAH!!" May is grabbed, height difference making a big difference here, but she manages to stick her anchor in between she and the bear letting her improvised weapon take most of the damage of being slammed against the turnbuckles "Harr! Ripple me seas will ye!??" The pirate slips out of the grip now using her own height as an advantage, and though she managed to avoid the worst of the attack she still looks pretty banged up.

Although not enough to not swing around soon after aiming to smash her anchor on Kuma's side, issuing a loud "YAARR!!" in an answer to Kuma's roar.

That's May being.. May.

COMBATSYS: Kuma endures May's Medium Strike EX.

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Kuma             1/------=/=======|=======\=------\1              May

All Heihachi can do in response to that is to shake a fist towards May. She may have won the battle, but the war is still going on; while she's busy duelling the bear in the middle of the ring, anyway. Leaping back to thump upright once more, Kuma flashes out his claws, huge gleaming talons. "Grrr..." Then he blinks, before assuming a less menacing posture. No, no... he doesn't want to claw up a little girl. ...Well, maybe he does. Just a little.
Teeth suddenly part, before as the anchor thumps heavily into Kuma, so too does his ursine jowls drop, aiming to sink his teeth into May's shoulder. And then lift her straight up and off the ground, shaking her back and forth with a snarl before moving to hurl her bodily towards the center of the ring. The crowd loves the attempt either way, beginning to cheer once more and wave little 'Kuma' flags. The salty seas are being wildly under-represented here!!

COMBATSYS: May fails to interrupt Combo Mauling from Kuma with Ultimate Whiner EX.

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Kuma             1/-----==/=======|=======\-------\0              May

May is perfectly aware that the high seas are being under-represented. It is, partially, what is fueling this inane desire of hers to fight a giant bear.

While May would still /probably/ fight Kuma for the sheer thrill of it, she'd probably not be doing it as recklessly as she is doing it right now if she had what's left of her wits about her.

Rather than try to back up as sane people would do when a giant bear is.. bearing.. down on them with its a colossal maw threatening to slam its fangs on their body. May instead jumps right into it attempting to jam her anchor inside its mouth.

What happens instead is that her anchor jab slides right past it and she gets bitten, mauled, and thrown about for her troubles, ending up rolling across the ring until she lands face down.

"Gah..." She struggles to get back up leaning on her anchor. "That all.. ye got.. bilge rat!!?"

"That's it." Heihachi calls out when May continues to be less than respectful of the fact that she's battling a giga-bear. "Use... 'that' technique." Kuma looks surprised for a moment, before puffing out his chest. Without hesitation he rushes forward, before attempting to almost gently knock May over. Were she to fall on her back... Kuma then places his hands on either hip, jutting out his rump back and high while arching his spine. Before turning around and beginning to literally /dance/ backwards, each heavy THUMP THUMP THUMP of his mighty feet making the ring jump. ...Being caught underfoot would be remarkably painful when a creature weighs well over a thousand pounds, of course, and Kuma wouldn't stop until he's completely passed over at a brisk, leisurely pace...!!

COMBATSYS: Kuma knocks away May with Dancing Bear EX.

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Kuma             0/-------/------=|>>>>>>>\>>>>>>>\2              May

For all her tough pirate speech and boastful claims of being quite the 'sea dog' May is, possibly much to her own surprise, really a little girl. Needless to say that her size and height against a giant bear are not her best assets in this fight.

"Oof!" Even if it's just a gentle push May gets thrown backwards and her eyes boggle when she sees Kuma backpedalling into her like some heedless truck aiming to run some one over.

"AAGH! HRRG! GHRRAA!!" She screams and flails as she's stomped over and over again, eyes and teeth shut tightly as she desperately tries to keep all her insides in her stomach and not projectile vomiting out of her mouth or something horrible.

Only through sheer tenacity does she manage to roll out of the last few stomps by prying herself out of the May shaped hole Kuma has done in the ring and deliberately violently. Blood pouring down her lips and indignant eyes wild and enraged.

"Great... YAMADA!!!"

The pirate girl raises her anchor over her head one last time and points it at Kuma, collapsing face first soon after.

On her fall, a giant chi made whale soars right behind her in a large arch and sails straight into Kuma to crush him underneath its burning weight.

COMBATSYS: May can no longer fight.

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Kuma             0/-------/------=|

COMBATSYS: Kuma fails to interrupt Great Yamada Attack from May with Rolling Bear.

[                     \\\\\\\\\  <
Kuma             0/-------/-======|

Indeed, there's something awkward to be said if Kuma's mightiest onslaught is some kind of random dancing, but the damage cannot be understated. Once complete, he turns in time to see the girl launching a huge chi whale towards him. Eyes wide, his mouth also waters. Before he suddenly leaps forward, beginning to spiral madly along the ground. This turns out to be completely useless, as is to be expected, and the whale explodes upon him with tremendous force that actually sends Kuma flying to impact head-first into a turnbuckle, breaking off the claw before he slumps down. For long, silent moments he is limp and still, but then pushes up to his feet. And thrusts his paws skywards with a loud roar. People begin to cheer, Heihachi laughing and clapping his hands. "Hahahaha! You're getting a wagon of fish now, Kuma my boy!!" Heihachi calls out. Leaping from the ring, the wobbling and badly injured bear still manages a happy jig, leaving May in the middle of the ring. ...No medics are forthcoming, and eventually people will start filing out, talking about the craziness of the fearless little girl throwing chi-summoned animals at a bear. You can't make that up. She might not have won, but her final attack made the impression desired... she won't be an utter nobody anymore!!

COMBATSYS: Kuma has ended the fight here.

Log created on 18:30:25 01/07/2015 by May, and last modified on 21:47:28 01/07/2015.