Slayer - Dearest, Those Steamed Pork Buns Would Be -Divine-

Description: Slayer accidentally lands in Jam's restaurant, trying to get pork buns for Sharon, who desperately needs them for immortal person reasons! LITERALLY EVERYBODY IS RUDE TO HIM. Racism is out of control, man. Nightwolf whips Jam and Benimaru into a pitchfork-toting DEMON HUNTING crew! Read on, and remember to root for Slayer.


Jam's Unnamed Restaurant Which She Will Address In Her Opening Post
7:25 PM

Jam's restaurant is doing its typical business tonight, its <vague?> interiors seated to perhaps three-quarters capacity with Southtowners young and old, courageous and bland, fickle and accepting! The magic of Jam's restaurant, <????> is that Jam's cooking is just *THAT* good -- it's an up-and-comer in the Yelp reviews, and people are paying ATTENTION.

-- Exactly one minute ago --

"Dear," croons a silken voice, one belonging to the cherried lips set upon a woman's perfect, doll-like face. Eyes like gemstones glitter with the reflection of the fireplace before her - Sharon glances to her left, where she knows her dearest love is doubtlessly painting something trivial.

"Yes?" Slayer looks up from his painting, pipe glowing merrily beneath his long nose. The painting is -- gorgeous, technically, but is ultimately just a picture of a lone tree on a hill. Slayer will figure out how to make it look "sad" later.

"It has been *so* long since I've had any Chinese cooking - I feel the night would be simply.. perfect... if I were to have those steamed pork buns..." Sharon teases ivory fingers through ebon hair, twirling strands out like so much abyssal silk.

"Anything for you, dear," intones Slayer - and in a moment, that cape sweeps over him, and he is gone.


"Mm. A miscalculation."


He does not blink.


*KAKROW* goes Jam's newly-repaired ceiling, planks exploding downwards amidst the sudden panicked shrieking of restaurantgoers and servers alike! More than a few drinks are spilled, and one unfortunate woman gets a shingle in her fried rice! Still, the reaction is short-lived -- all eyes are on the man in the damn-smack middle of the room.

Slayer has not moved from his chair, and his chair has absolutely not broken. It is embedded in the floor, in fact, from the impact of his landing. Slayer folds his legs, one over the other, puffs on his pipe, and smiles to those assembled, before waving one spidery hand.

"Apologies! I came here for the, ah..." He looked into this, he swears it.

"Yelp. I hope I did not need a reservation?"

Jam's restaurant is not much to look at or write home about. It's definitely a little run down, located in one of the worse parts of Chinatown, and doesn't have a very fancy clientele. There also seems to be plenty of evidence to suggest that some shoddy second-hand patchwork has been down to repair the various tables and walls of the restaurant. But the tables are wiped down, the floors are neatly swept, and there are some appetizing smells wafting in from the kitchen.

The source of this restaurant's salvaged appearance is none other than Kuradoberi Jam. The owner, head cook, and main waitress currently is busying herself with sweeping up some broken dishes. The young girl is mostly authentically dressed in a long red cheongsam with a pink apron worn overtop of it. Pushing the last of the broken plates into her dustpan, Jam takes a quick break to wipe some sweat off her forehead. She should really get around with hiring more people to help out. But first, she needs more customers....many more customers.

And the Heavens above answer by sending a customer crashing through her roof. Jam stares in disbelief as her just cleaned restaurant is trashed in a matter of seconds. The insuing chaos has Jam running here and there in an attempt to damage control with what customers she did have. Frantically, she eventually makes her way over toward Slayer with broom still in hand. "Hey you, old-timer! You're going to pay for a new roof! Or -else-!" Jam then points her broom at Slayer most menacingly.

All eyes are on the couple making a flashy entrance through the ceiling.

Although some of the eyes in the restaurant may not belong to the average Chinese food enthusiast.

It was inevitable that Nightwolf would start sticking close to Jam Kuradoberi after their initial meeting. Even though Nightwolf couldn't shake off the sensation of impending doom quickly approaching Earthrealm, there had been a noticeable lack of demon hunting done by the Demon Hunter. Some reports of vampires here and there, a stray cat kin, a possible Outworld rift maybe or maybe not having opened, nothing concrete yet.. and though there was that bit of an Egyptian Pharaoh attacking Japan for a while, it was quickly dealt with.

Looks like Nightwolf didn't have much to do yet but sit down and relax in between training. It gave him the opportunity to start learning about what mundane troubles afflicted Metro City, and since spiritual problems often start in the material realm first, why not just nip the problem at the bud?

Chance would have it that Nightwolf would be eating at Jam's restaurant when the wayward Benimaru would wander in too. The two unlikely acquaintances apparently recognized each other and sat together chatting and eating. It looked like a pretty peaceful evening.

Which is why it was /imperative/ something went up and ruined it.

The skinwalker was munching on some noodles listening to Benimaru talk when a loud KRASH noise came from the ceiling alerting everyone present. Sensing some kind of Darkstalker like energy, Nightwolf immediately stood up and glared with blank eyes at the man, summoning a glowing energy axe to his hand.

With Jam flanking Slayer from the other side it might feel like well dressed gentleman had suddenly leapt into an angry hornets' nest instead of a Chinese restaurant. But they are pretty hard to mix up if one thinks about it.

The restaurant may not have very fancy clientele most of the time. But tonight it's playing host to one Benimaru Nikaido, shootfighter and part-time model. He may not be recognizable from his pictures though, because his hair's down at the moment, and pulled back in a loose ponytail. He is indeed sitting with Nightwolf, eating. Also talking about something.

Benimaru's chosen a more conservative outfit choice today, since he's not trying to draw attention to himself. For once. Just a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers. No sense in looking like he's loaded in this neighborhood. The only thing that might give away that he's not a young tough is those earrings. It's a pair of feathers. That and his rather effeminate attitude. But that would take watching him for a while, and most people aren't looking at him.

And then... CRASH!

"What the hell?!" Benimaru quickly stands up from his seat, looks at the person sitting there. Looks up. Looks at Nightwolf and Jam. "...C'mon, nobody's going to make the obvious joke? I'm going to be forced to?" He sighs, shifting his weight to one leg and letting his hips tilt in a somewhat feminine way. "...Okay, fine... 'It's raining men'." He waves a hand.

Slayer watches the ensuing pandemonium with a slow-growing frown - he's beginning to feel unwelcome. It's not *his* fault the restaurant was lower than it was supposed to be. The man chews on his pipe for a moment, but eventually drags his warm gaze from Scared Cattle to Angry Jam. Her appearance has him smiling, and her attitude has a congenial grin splitting those thin lips. One arm spreads wide, apologetically - the other rests elbow on armrest, palm upraised as though waiting for some sort of...


"New roof?" Slayer glances left, then right, then *up* - he squints. Nods. "Of course, that is *entirely* my mistake. I suppose I was a little hasty in getting here! Ha ha ha--" The laughter is too rich, too brogue for somebody who's just fallen a hundred+ feet.

"I promise, your tip will accomodate the ro-- -" Momentarily, the spindly old man forgets his poise - he leans forward, placing his chin in that upraised palm. Drinks are forgotten for now.

"Hold on, now-- you're something *special*. I haven't seen anything quite as... *strong* as you in THOUSANDS of yea-" He's cut off at the critical part when *SOMEBODY* starts summoning *SPECTRAL AXES*. Slayer's expression hardens, his eyes notably less warm than before, and he inclines his head to Jam, apologetically, before inhaling on his pipe, and turning to face Nightwolf.

Jam will note that the embers from that pipe have started glowing bloody red. It has a nasty habit of turning smile-lines into crags, crows-feet into scowls.

Slayer addresses Nightwolf. "I've not even left my chair, and you're this eager to make things violent? People are *eating*, man." Slayer gestures, lazily, to the other customers gathered here. "I fear we've already intruded enough upon their evening, wouldn't you agree??" Eyes glow red, that pipe smoulders blood -- and then the facade vanishes, Slayer's expression tepid, curious.

"--Are those dumplings you've ordered? Are they any good? My wife is simply *ravenous* and nothing but the best will do! The tip-top! It's why I came here in the first place! The Yelp! Do you follow Yelp?"

Benimaru has Slayer's attention for a moment, if only because the man seems to know *more* than he lets on. He shares a conspirational wink with the shootfighter, before readjusting the pipe in his mouth, and looking back to Nightwolf.

"The ball is in your court, as it were. I'm sure the proprietress wouldn't appreciate a brawl during dinnertime. Her roof is already *destroyed*."

The broom wielding Jam looks over her shoulder distractedly when she notices an axe-summoning Nightwolf and a joke-conjuring Benimaru back there. Having Nightwolf back her up was an unexpected boon and the young martial artist can't help but giggle at the cute guy's joke. Were those two here the whole time? Maybe Jam hasn't fully recovered from her last spar with Nightwolf. But one thing -is- for certain. It may be raining men, but someone was going to have to pay for a new roof and it wasn't going to be her!

With a renewed sense of purpose, Jam levels her iciest glare at Slayer. But this guy's aloof manner was somewhat disarming. A look of confusion besets Jam as she attempts to process everything that this newcomer has to say, let alone the fact that he did come crashing through the roof like it was no big deal at all. "Ju-just who are you? Are you an alien?" Jam wonders aloud as she lowers her deadly broom to the ground. He did come crashing out of the sky afterall.

Slayer's proclamation that he comes in peace causes Jam to briefly reconsider her options. "As long as the roof gets paid for, we're fine. Just...don't abduct anyone while you're here! I have few customers as it is!" With that said, she then looks panicked as she runs to and fro in an attempt to prevent her disturbed customers from walking out without first paying their bills.

Where Slayer's face is full of expression, Nightwolf's visage seems to be the exact opposite. He shows no signs of showing any emotion whatsoever in response to the pipe chewing man's glare. Blank pupil-less eyes stare down stoically as Slayer starts to ramble on and when he chastises Nightwolf for his apparent overreaction when he just smashed through the roof, the shaman simply speaks calmly in return.

"If a man were to destroy half of your house with no explanation. Would you welcome with open arms and tea or with an axe?" Nightwolf is the text book definition of speak softly but carry a big battle axe. Although he looks completely stone faced, it's obvious that he's just waiting for a good reason to attack.

Problem is, Slayer is not actually giving him a reason to do anything other than be confused, particularly when he starts talking about the dumplings and The Yelp. "They are noodles, actually." Frowns Nightwolf and he looks over his shoulder to the Shootfighter. "Benimaru, what is The Yelp?" Benimaru is a more modernized person than Nightwolf, he can probably figure it out.

Fortunately for everyone Jam decides that someone breaking her ceiling isn't reason enough to start a fight, and since this is her restaurant, the skinwalker decides that its ultimately her call. "As you say, Sifu." The shaman lowers his weapon and his glowing axe vanishes from his hand. Blank eyes stare at Slayer some more and he pauses momentarily thought. Maybe this Darkstalker is touched. Oh well, wanting Chinese food is not reason enough for a Banishment either, and he doesn't appear to be from Outworld so...

"It was too obvious." The Sin Eater finally says to the Shootfighter when he complains that no one was going to take a shot at the obvious bad joke. That's Benimaru's expertise, not his.

As much of a self-centered ass as Benimaru is, he does know when to let the spotlight go. Particularly in this situation, where the spotlight is held by someone who the owner of the restaurant wants to bean over the head with a broom. And may be capable of doing more to. Benimaru doesn't like hitting pretty girls. Unless they ask for it. Either literally or figuratively.

The wink from Slayer gets a returning smirk. Other than the smirk, he makes no reaction to it. But he most definitely saw it. Unspoken communication go! It's weird how that pipe suddenly starts producing red light. Pipe embers aren't supposed to do that, are they?

Though the pipe-smoking man's statement to Nightwolf of not brawling in the restaurant gets a nod, and he sends a look at Nightwolf. "He's got a point." Looking to Jam with a flirty smile and tone, "Wouldn't do to make such a pretty girl even more upset than she already is. Frowning totally spoils your good looks~."

Jam's mention of Slayer being an alien gets a grin from Benimaru. Hey she laughed once, maybe he can make it two for two? Girls like guys who can make them laugh. "Possible." He raises a shoulder in a nonchalant gesture. "Clearly he comes in peace and merely wishes you to take him to your feeder~!"

Okay, that one was particularly bad.

"That's a website with restaurant reviews," he answers Nightwolf's question of this mysterious 'Yelp'. "Don't worry, it's not a soul-eating power-source or anything." He COULD be kidding as far as Jam or Slayer knows. But Nightwolf will know he's not kidding. The mention of his joke being 'too obvious' gets another grin from Benimaru. "Of course it was. That's why it had to be made~."

A concerned, flat look crosses Slayer's face when Jam just sort of accepts everything happening. The suggestion of 'alien' has his eyebrows furrowing, concernedly - he looks over his shoulder, at the waywards chef shouting -nonsense- at him --

"Hmph." He shrugs. Jam is allowed to think what she wishes. He'll let her handle her customers, for now. Nightwolf holds his attention, and for good reason - that axe is... untoward, to say the least.

"Undo the axe," he implores Nightwolf. "I'm here for a milk run - pork buns, in this case - and aside from breaking the roof, don't think I'm presenting much of any sort of threat. For all we know, it'd take somebody with a.." He laughs, "--canine-- no! *LUPINE* sense of smell to think anything was amiss! I haven't worn my cologne, I'm afraid." He raises his arms in a helpless shrug, and falls respectfully silent while Benimaru explains to the class what Yelp is.

Post-explanation, he turns to Jam, and rakes one long-fingered hand through his hair. "Your Yelp reviews are quite good. You may have 'the best buns in Southtown,' which is considerable, taking into account the Chinese restaurant a few blocks away." Slayer inhales, deeply - smoke leaves his nose like so much ash.

"Then again, that restaurant's owner is -- substantially -- less pleasing on the eyes. You don't *have* to dress like that, you know. It's borderline unladylike. I can't believe the Chinese slit the skirts on their cheongsam up *quite* that high! Sharon would have a fit. Nonetheless!!" Slayer lifts a hand into the air.

"I require pork buns! I'll pay for the roof, absolutely, if you can give me... five."

He looks back to Nightwolf and Benimaru. "Is five enough? Sharon is... petite."

"Thanks Nightwolf! But usually people don't feel like paying their bills after they get beat up! Can you keep an eye on him just in case?" Jam asks sweetly of the hulking muscle-bound guy who still calls her his teacher. She hasn't found the need to hire a bouncer for her -restaurant-, but Nightwolf could come in pretty handy. Those goons were in for a world of hurt the next time they tried to trash Jam's place. But would Nightwolf be able to take on an alien? Jam wasn't so sure. But she liked her chances with him better than without him.

Benimaru may be dressed casually and have his hair down, but that doesn't mean he looks -bad- that way. It also help that he isn't shy about handing out compliments her way. Jam casually reaches up and tucks a few wayward strands of brown hair behind her left ear. She then flourishes a great big smile of hers and offers, "You're right! I should smile more! And a paying customer is a welcome customer! Especially if he is hungry!" And even more so if he's going to order big -and- pay for the roof. And she is finding it rather easy to overlook Benimaru's corny jokes somehow. Jam's ego was a fearsome thing.

Jam is momentarily suspicious of the still maybe alien Slayer when he talks about these Yelp reviews and about her porkbuns. But Slayer quickly improves her opinion of him when he compliments her. And then Slayer shoots himself in the foot by continuing to talk. Jam puts one hand on her hip and the then strikes the ground fiercely with the broom in her other hand. "I'm plenty lady-like! And there's nothing wrong with how I dress!" Nightwolf and Benimaru in particular both get deadly glares from Jam now. "Isn't that right?!" She demands before even beginning to consider Slayer's request. "I'll add them to your bill!" The young chef remarks to Slayer before stomping off to go retrieve some porkbuns from the kitchen.

The axe was already undone by the time Slayer got around assuring everyone he came in peace. Nightwolf simply had waited for Jam to give the order rather than wait for the strange well dressed man to convince him he meant no harm aside from the ceiling smashing. It was Jam's restaurant and it was her call if she wanted to trash it as far as Nightwolf was concerned, not anyone else's.

Oh, but it looks like tonight is comedy night since just about everyone is throwing bad puns around. Slayer's implication to Nightwolf do not go unnoticed, and the shaman figures that just like he can sense that Slayer has some Darkstalker nature about him, the man can probably tell Nightwolf is some sort of lycan. After Slayer makes his dog implication and laments his lack of cologne, Nightwolf actually leans in slightly and visibly sniffs the air near Slayer. "I can tell." The shaman may not share his companion's radiant charisma but he can still throw bad jokes around with the best of them. He just doesn't have the facial expression for it is all.

Speaking of bad jokes, the shaman steps away from Slayer and listens to Benimaru explaining what the Yelp is, which actually causes the ever stoic shaman to give a slight scowl when the shootfighter jokingly belittles Nightwolf's profession. "Your face is a soul-eating power-source." The Apache says back to Benimaru almost uncharacteristically childish for the no-nonsense Sin Eater. The immaturity levels in the air are just so high even he can't avoid it.

Walking past Benimaru with a little indignant huff, Nightwolf then nods to Jam when she explains her reasons for allowing Slayer to continue being inside the restaurant and agrees to stay and watch him. When she becomes positively infuriated when her lady like nature is called into question by the way she dresses, even Nightwolf has to avert his gaze slightly to not incur her wrath. "Um.. of course, Sifu." Normally this would be the time for Nightwolf to go on one of his rants about how feminine and masculine roles are simply subjective to the culture they come from and so forth, but he decides to take the safe route today and simply smile and nod to the angry Chinese chef.

When Jam storms off to get the porkbuns, Nightwolf stays in the serving room proper, cleaning the floor from ceiling insulation with a spare room as Slayer asks Benimaru and himself if five buns should be enough to satiate the hunger of this Sharon person that seems to be very special for him. "You would know her better than I would, wouldn't you?" Nightwolf muses as he cleans the ceiling debris.

Benimaru snickers at the 'best buns in town' comment. "Ne, they may not be talking about the food, man," he points out. Jam's those legs do make quite the ass of themselves. Literally. Yes, Benimaru is a little bit of a pig. But at least he didn't actually say that out loud. Because that would have been grounds for beating HIM with the broom.

However, thanks to Slayer's comment about Jam's legs, Benimaru is most definitely looking. He's about to speak up for Jam's outfit when she focuses that absolutely DEADLY look on him. He notices she's facing his direction and his eyes immediately snap back to her face. He blinks, and then winces slightly. "Nothing at all! Not at ALL~!" When Jam storms away, Benimaru breathes a sigh of relief that he got away without a smack in the face. The happiness he communicates to Nightwolf with a grin and a thumbsup~!

Though he snorts a laugh at Nightwolf's comment. "My face? Soul-eating? Nah, not at all." There's that shifted-hip stance again, and he crosses his arms over his midriff. Waving a hand dismissively, he notes, "I can't help it if I'm too beautiful for some people."

As for whether five pork buns is enough? "Hmm..." He rubs his chin, actually seeming to give the question serious thought. "That depends entirely on how much she eats normally. Most petite people that I know have a quick metabolism, so they eat more. But having too much is better than not having enough, right? If she doesn't eat all of them, you can store them and reheat them later."

"You are," agrees Slayer, gesturing to Jam with his free hand. "As I was *saying*, the dress *makes that obvious*. You'd do better in a full gown and bodice." Slayer falls into his own musings while Nightwolf, Benimaru, and Jam engage in Young Person dialogue - the occasional smile lifts the man's thin lips, but he's otherwise uninterested in their conversation.

Instead, he simply *watches* them. There's a certain heightened focus that accompanies vampirism, be it infectious or birthright. You learn to appreciate the contour of your prey, the implications of color and flesh to the quality of the blood beneath. It's highly evident to Slayer that Nightwolf and Benimaru are several cuts above the other patrons here - those lamers haven't even started eating their food yet.

He spins in his chair, idly - accidentally - driving a double-furrow through Jam's floor where his chairlegs decide to tear through tile rather than have the manners to simply snap in two. Slayer frowns, glancing down, but doesn't address the concern. Another puff from his pipe has smoke hovering around his very head like some ashen halo. He focuses back to Beni and Nightwolf.

"So you are a hunter of dark things?" One long-fingered hand opens, indicating Nightwolf. "Powerful, too, for a hunter. I always appreciated how high humanity manages to pull itself above its lot. For a species, you lot have done -exceptionally- well." He glances from Nightwolf to Benimaru, smiling once more.

"You seem like enough of a gentleman, save the buffoonery with women. What brings the two of you to the restaurant today? Entertain me while I wait on my buns."

Kuradoberi Jam may have only known Nightwolf for a short time, but his advanced knowledge of when to say something, when not to say something, and when to say just enough made her think very highly of the Apache. He seemingly applied his restrained fighting style to how he acted outside of battle which was also pretty cool and a refreshing change when compared to the usual types she dealt with. When she does pass Nightwolf on her way to the kitchen, she offers him an appreciative nod. But more appealingly, she comes back with extra pork buns for both him and Benimaru!

It is a very good thing that Jam is not a mind reader or Benimaru's pork buns would have been in danger of getting kicked out of this restaurant. His wandering of gaze from earlier was met with a smirking look from the suddenly confident Jam. That look of his answered her question for him. Jam grins and nods when Benimaru confirms this aloud.

Eventually, she comes walking back in with two large trays in her hands. One tray held the porkbuns that she had retrieved for Slayer's order while the other tray held the extra pork buns she had brought for Benimaru and Nightwolf. She heads over towards Nightwolf and Benimaru with their porkbuns and places the tray down on a nearby table. "Eat up! They're on the house!"

Jam now goes to bring Slayer his porkbuns when she glances down and notices that floor around Slayer's chair is -destroyed-. "What did you do now?!" First the roof and now her floor! Jam shakes slightly with anger before finally declaring, "That's it, you're out of here!" It was fighting time! With one hand she tosses the tray of porkbuns into the air and with the other she grabs ahold of her cheongsam and sheds it off in one fluid motion to reveal that she's wearing a shorter cheongsam and skirt underneath. Now unencumbered by the long dress, she was ready to rock!

But Jam's brown eyes suddenly dart upwards as both her thrown tray and five porkbuns were in danger of crashing down. With a small yelp, Jam catches the tray with one hand and attempts to catch the five pork buns as they make their descent. One, two, three are caught by Jam without any real issue. But the last two are flying off course! The first is acrobatically caught by one of Jam's kicks which meant there was only one left to catch. But this one was on a collision course for Benimaru whom had no poofy hair of his to cushion its landing!

The Apache gives Benimaru an incredulous wide eyed look at his cheesy grin and thumbs up whilst he is still cleaning the floor. They may be pretty different in terms of personality.. and just about everything else.. but the two men at least seem to agree that its best not to trifle with women when they are boiling mad.

The shaman deflates from his slight tension once Jam left to get the food, seemingly far more intimidated by the owner of the restaurant than by the lighting controlling shootfighter or the man that just plowed through the roof like if it was nothing, though he is hardly to be blamed for that considering everyone's reaction to Jam's glare. That's powerful stuff, man.

With things returning to normal as much as they possibly could after what just happened. Nightwolf finishes sweeping the floor and glances up at the roof, having half a mind to climb up there and put a board up or something to block the hole Slayer made. He would too, had he not promised his Sifu he would stay inside and watch the strange man with the pipe. He's been watching him too, how he spins on his chair, and how he is capable of apparently controlling the smoke that comes out from his pipe. Slayer isn't the only one that studies prey around here given Nightwolf's nature a hunter.

Just as Slayer eventually deduces.

"I knew you would recognize me." Nightwolf says calmly, muscled arms crossed over his broad chest, stoic blank eyes watching the man's strange, almost cartoonish movements. "Leaving humanity as it may, let me see if I can return the favor." The Apache tapped his chin in thought trying to guess the man's true nature. "Are you not a Strigoi? A Vampire?" If Slayer will so brazenly reveal Nightwolf's nature as a Sin Eater in public then he'll do the same.

As for his reasons why he was in the restaurant? "I was getting noodles." Because that is completely true and Nightwolf doesn't need to elaborate on how he's learning Jeet Kune Do from Jam, if Slayer really is that observant he would have already figured it out since the Apache keeps calling Jam his Sifu.

Speaking of Jam, the girl returns just in time and with an extra tray of buns too! A ghost of a smile appears on the Apache's lips as he returns the nod and accepts the tray. "Much obliged, Sifu." Says he as he slides the tray over Benimaru to share the food with him. That is, until Jam suddenly decides that its go time. Nightwolf recognizes the tear of the dress to reveal the cheongsam beneath. He was waiting for Jam's call to go all out and he got it.

With half a bun still on his mouth, Nightwolf summons his energy axe to his hand again to assist Jam on the beating on this interloper. However, he is instead forced to go on the defensive when all of the cook's buns go flying up. She manages to catch most of them except for one who is flying directly towards his friend's beautiful(?) face! Well, as much as Nightwolf would just love to see Benimaru get socked with a well deserved bun to the face, he's not that mean spirited.

With the energy axe he had in hand, he uses the flat of the blade like a tennis racket to intercept the bun and bat it upwards. Not only does this prevent it from hitting the shootfighter, it also puts it in a great position for Benimaru to go for the rebound and save it.

There's a bonus for Slayer, due to his heightened senses. Humans have electricity in their brains and nervous systems anyway. But Benimaru's nervous system has a higher output, when speaking of sheer voltage, than an average human being. It seems to linger at JUST below the level of being able to manifest as energy itself.

Buffoonery? Benimaru looks insulted, but it's more of a pout than anything else. He's not going to be drawn by the comment. "Ah, we were just in the area, I checked the Yelp for nearby restaurants, and saw exactly what you did~. Giving patronage to an up-and-coming restaurant sounded like a good idea, and we were both hungry, so..."

And so it is indeed a close call for Benimaru, who wisely keeps his piggy thoughts to himself, lest he wind up with a foot in HIS buns! Suddenly Jam's stripping?! And there's an even SHORTER dress underneath! The talk of vampires and what have you gets him confused. Or maybe he just misses it entirely because Jam's legs are very attention-getting. And so they get his attention again! As designed?

It's only through sheer reflexes he happens to notice Nightwolf bat a flying pork bun away from almost hitting him in the head. He recognizes the set-up, too, and raises a hand into the air to hit the pork bun as it comes down with the back of his hand, only hard enough to bat it back onto the tray.

Then he tries to talk sense. "Hey wait a minute, there are normal people here..." Unless they saw the energy axes and ran away. It'd be smart!

Slayer can't help his chair, it's *very powerful*. He got it from a Darkstalker antiques dealer years ago, and frankly, he wouldn't part with it for the world. When Jam wheels on him and *KICKS HIM OUT*, the vampire's features darken momentarily. That constrained expression opens into what must be a *seething* how-dare-you when Nightwolf butts in, as Nightwolf does, and batters Slayer's attention the other way! The man turns--

*On* his chair, not *with* it--

and faces the Native American man, head tilted to the side, monocle gleaming in the light, expression drawn. "A Strigoi? You'd associate me with those Romanian worms? I'm *offended*," he begins, uncrossing his legs, stamping either foot down on the rended floor beneath him. He rises to his full height in an unnaturally smooth movement, and busies himself with fastening his cufflinks while he listens to Benimaru.

Benimaru manages to distract him pleasantly. "Oh, you found the place on this Yelp, too? I was surprised that so many people had recommended it. Sharon is such a modern woman - she absolutely can't stand being behind the times, you know? It's all about the zeitgeist for that girl... she keeps me young."

"As for *you*..." Slayer looks back to Nightwolf. "I've no idea what you're talking about, except to inform you that I'm absolutely *not* one of those Romanians. Their accents are misleading, their intentions brutish, and their manner uncouth. It's an absolute shame they're so associated with vampirism."


"Thank you all for catching Sharon's pork buns. That was exceptionally kind of you. I promise, the restaurant will be repaired immediately."

Jam would be more than happy to have Nightwolf help out with the patchwork after everything is said and done. Her patch work wasn't the greatest and her roof repair skills were pretty much non-existant. She most likely would have dropped some sheet metal over the hold and put a bucket underneath it all when it rained. Actually -fixing- the roof would be mch better! She grins and nods at Nightwolf when he is appreciative of the free food. He was proving to be a good overall student despite their fearsome first encounter.

Holding her ground, Jam continues to balance herself on one foot as she holds the tray with her hands and the runaway porkbun with her outstretched foot. She can only watch it delight and then horror as Nightwolf bats the porkbun back up into the air. He prevented one disaster, but would it cause another?

The young restaurant owner was really in no position to notice Benimaru noticing her as she was busy maintaining her balance and trying to save the porkbuns from disaster. Thankfully, the tag-team attack of Nightwolf and Benimaru cause the porkbun to return to its rightful place on the tray. With all but one returned, Jam expertly kicks the last one up off her backleg and catches it on her tray. Having sucessfully retrieved al five porkbuns of destiny, Jam is grinning from ear to ear. "We did it!" She exclaims happily before nearly losing her balance -now- and dropping the entire tray. "Aiya! Too close!" exclaims the young girl as finally returns her attention on Slayer and his unwarranted destruction of her property!

The few people that do remain would be highly entertained by the impromptu comedy routine. But Jam herself wasn't exactly laughing. She wasn't quite as angry as before though which may be a small victory. Jam purses her lips together in contemplation for a brief moment. "I'll be sure to have your -invoice- ready before you leave." It seems that Slayer's bill just got upgraded. Sure he was a scary alien, but scary aliens must have a lot of money right? And after fighting Nightwolf, Jam did feel a little bit better about facing the supernatural which seemingly included destructive vampires.

3 points! This time Nightwolf does seem to appreciate Benimaru's team-efforts and gives him a firm nod when he expertly bounces the pork bun back in the tray. "Good job." He tells Benimaru. That's one emergency taken care of and now it was time to deal with this apparent Darkstalker once and for all.

Whether Benimaru wants to help with the fight or not, the Sin Eater twirls his axe in his hand and advances towards Slayer menacingly. Until the restaurant owner once again decides that fighting is more trouble that its worth, well after managing to catch all five buns back on the tray the shaman guesses Jam all but exhausted her good fortune for the day, best not to push it. Besides, this man still seems intent on rambling on about his possible nature and Nightwolf does not doubt that he could find important information in the sea of confusion and nonsensical insanity that are all of Slayer's words. There is truth in that madness, the Sin Eater knows it.

Because all he really did is just assure Nightwolf he is not from Romania, which is technically not denying that he's a vampire. When Slayer addresses him again, Nightwolf readies himself for an attack.. only to be told once again that Slayer is most certainly not from Romania. Okay then.

The Sin Eater straightens up now that the situation has once again been deflated, if only Slayer was really truthful about his intentions to pay in full for the repairs. "I can probably fix the ceiling with 500 or so dollars, Sifu." Guesses Nightwolf as he glances up with blank eyes to the roof, energy axe resting on his shoulder. "Plus another 500 more to fix the floor tiles." That ought about cover the damages thinks he, Jam can give her own estimate to how much Bison dollars are those buns actually going to cost.

"It pays to keep up with technology~," Benimaru notes in reply to Slayer's comment. It almost seems surreal, the conversation going on amongst what's looking like a fight brewing. As for the pork buns? "I do hate to see good food go to waste. And my hands are clean." Nightwolf had used an energy weapon, so those didn't hold germs. Did they?

He applauds Jam's performance as she returns the final pork bun to the tray. "Good catch~," he compliments. And to Nightwolf for his compliment? "Thank you~. Good set-up." Better than that, it looks like things aren't about to turn into a fight after all. Good, he didn't want to spoil his dinner with blood. Because those axes Nightwolf uses look like they have a perfectly good cutting edge, energy or not.

As for the stimates, Benimaru replies, "Is that with or without labor costs? Or were you planning 'dee-aiy-why'?" He's so very not helpful right now. But that's okay; he's entertaining, if nothing else.

Well. This situation is rapidly becoming unsalvageable. Slayer looks between Jam (furious), Nightwolf (presumably racist), and Benimaru (amused) with equal shades of concern. The man, perhaps cowed, settles back down onto his seat, and crosses his legs once more. He puffs on that pipe, pensive, and glances ceilingwards -- he did a number on the roof, didn't he.

"I don't understand why you're all being quite this -rude-. I've offered multiple times to pay for the roof - and now the floor! It used to be that a breach in manners was forgiven if acceptable repayment was offered, but *this* is..." He bows his head, spreads his arms wide, and shrugs. "Be that as it may, I'm worried your axeman might *decapitate* me were I to reach into my pocket! So..." He drops a prim nod to Benimaru, then to Nightwolf, and finally, to Jam, a deeper bow.

"My name is Slayer, and I live outside of town, in the old mansion I'm sure your axe-carrying friend assumes I live in. My sincerest apologies for the damage to your store, and I will take my leave to avoid making matters worse with violence. Should you wish repayment, please, come and visit at your leisure. Mind the doorman."

Slayer turns, fixing Nightwolf with a stern stare, and pulls his cape over himself and his chair.

They are both gone.

Jam does like to leap to conclusions. And when she does, she usually likes to leap with a foot forward while encased in ki. But right now, violence actually might not be the answer as the damage that a brawl with an alien would be incredible. He destroyed her roof and her floor by just sitting there. The bill at the end of the night would be enormous. She'll just have to reserve the fight option for later if this guy turns out to be a deadbeat alien who can't pay for the roof, celiing, or even the porkbuns! Nightwolf's assessment causes Jam to eagerly nod her head up and down. The math checked out by her just fine! She'll definitely add that amount to Slayer's invoice.

The young chef safely deposits the tray of porkbuns on top of the table nearest to Slayer before walking over to where Nightwolf and Benimaru were at. Beni's compliment and suggested additional charges cause Jam to giggle happily, her rage quick subsiding. But she does warily glances over her shoulder at Slayer one last time before turning back around with a grin now on her face. "Can't forget to add that! Not everyone will want to work for porkbuns!" Jam adds as she casually leans against a nearby table.

The coyly smiling Jam turns to Slayer who admonishes her for being rude. The gall of him! Well, he atleast does finally introduce himself which makes him a little less likely to be an alien, but then he dines and dashes. Well, he didn't really dine, but he most assuredly did dash! Jam is no longer smiling. "Hey! WAAAAAIT!" She calls out as Slayer performs a disappearing act in the middle of the dining room. He wasn't an alien, he was a -magician-. Jam sighs heavily and slumps down to the vandalized floor of her restaurant and looks up at the new hole in her roof, defeated. She really did have the worst luck!

Bah! The nerve with this fiend!! Nightwolf knew he could not be trusted... and he didn't even pay for the buns did he?

Helpless to stop Slayer when he does his disappearing act, Nightwolf actually does swing his axe at the vampire's head and hits nothing but air when he is gone in the blink of an eye. He curses to himself for not insisting to fight him sooner, because really, who serves a man who just thrashed half of your establishment? With the vampire gone, the restaurant in ruins, and the food stolen, Nightwolf senses that Jam would be quite angry at this development and prepares to side step away from a surely infuriated manager.

Only to see her slump in defeat instead. The shaman's eyes peer down at her in concern. This is not the peerless Kuradoberi Jam that he knows. While Jam has been able to endure strikes to her body, its clear that she cannot withstand it when her restaurant is the recipient of damage. This slight cannot go unpunished.

"Do not despair, Sifu." Nightwolf has by now kneeled down to place a heavy gruff hand on the girl's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. "I can find the lair where this cur resides." Nightwolf is an accomplished tracker after all, and a mansion in the outskirts of Metro City shouldn't be too hard to find, especially if it has the scent of a Darkstalker. "We will make him pay for what he has done." Either in blood or money, either is good for Nightwolf, who truly detests bullies above all.

When he rises, he is now looking and pointing to the shootfighter. "And you are coming with us." Consider yourself voluntold Benimaru.

Benimaru's normally the quick-tempered one, but this whole situation was weird enough to set him off his guard just enough that he didn't immediately come in with lightning and feet flying. So for once Benimaru is the voice of reason and calmness here. That's happening more often than usual. Oh, what's this world coming to?

Anyway. Slayer suddenly disappears, before anyone can do anything. Probably before he even manages to hear Benimaru's hasty Japanese, "Matte!" He tends to default to Japanese when startled. The shootfighter takes a step forward as if to try to catch hold of Slayer's arm, and misses completely, grabbing only air. "Hey dude, you're REALLY not exactly being a great species ambassador, whatever you are!"

Then he sighs. "Ruuuude~." He's talking about Slayer. "I was being as polite as I could under the circumstances." Namely being confused out of his mind! Jam's collapsing on the floor gets a frown, and he occupies her other side. "Hey. I can probably help out with getting the materials and people for the repairs," he offers. He's not exactly poor, after all.

Then suddenly... voluntold! Benimaru blinks. "W-wha? Hey, I'm not a hunter. Alien, vampire, demon, whatever-- I've never even hunted in the woods before. I don't know how this works!" He's quickly beginning to feel like the token 'normal guy' in a horror movie...

In the aftermath of everything, when all is said and done, a simple overhead camera shot of Jam's restaurant, perhaps through the newly-minted hole in its roof, reveals a cryptic message written directly on the floor -- as though by the legs of a ridiculously resilient chair. The message is written elegantly, but bizarrely - who wrote it? When did they have time to write it?

"remember the pork buns"

Jam listens to both Nightwolf and Benimaru when they willingly and sort of willingly offer their assistance in righting this most dastardly wrong. Between Nightwolf's tracking skills and Benimaru's resources, they stood a good chance of actually finding this magician. The young girl shifts her brown eyes back down from the hole in the roof to where Slayer's chair once resided. What was that? Jam leans forward to take a closer look. "Remember the pork buns?" A certain fire enters Jam's heart. "Remember the pork buns?!" She kips up onto her feet and looks to her two companions with a firm nod. "Oh, we're give him something to remember alright!" Jam stands as tall as she can on just her right leg as she brings up her left leg. She aims her left leg straight up into the air towards the hole that Slayer had caused, an aura of blue chi surrounding her. "But porkbuns are going to be the least of his worries!" The young martial artists lowers her raised leg, her chi disappearing for now. She looks back at Nightwolf and Benimaru now, a grin reappearing on the -bounty hunter's- face. "Let's go hunting!"

And Benimaru just facepalms. They're entirely too enthusiastic about hunting a vampire-alien-demon-whatever.

"...Gimme a break..."

Log created on 21:25:25 11/29/2014 by Slayer, and last modified on 02:18:14 11/30/2014.